Change Came, But I Had to Die First
by Tsukihime Nee
Summary: Hinata is killled by Neji in the chunin exams. She becomes a shinigami, and her heart learns to trust again. But when she is unexpectedly thrown headlong into her past can she cope with her own reflection? Hitsugaya Hinata HitsuHinata UP FOR ADOPTION
1. Death And Blue Green Eyes

HEY GUYS.

THIS STORY HAS BEEN ADOPTED AND MOVED TO THIS LINK

s/9176849/1/I-changed-but-I-died-first

PLEASE READ THERE INSTEAD. spare yourself from my horribly long author's notes.


	2. First Meetings And First Impressions

_**Kay! This is the next chapter. (Finally! my Internet connection SUCKS) **_

_**DISCLAIMER APPLIES**_

I can see again. It's strange really, to be able to see after even just a couple of moments in such complete and unwavering darkness. My heart isn't loud anymore. I wonder why? Maybe that was all just a dream.

But Naruto's face is still stony and someone's being carried away on a stretcher. Her hair is dark like mine, and come to think of it, she's dressed like me too. She has the same tan sweater, and the same navy pants as I do. But she's got blood on her face... and she's not breathing either. She needs help! Why are they walking so slowly? If they don't hurry she'll die! Unless she's already... Unless I'm already...

No. There's no way! I can't be dead! I can't be! I was alive just a moment ago! But my hands are insubstantial... I can see the floor, gray and unforgiving beneath me, and my hands don't block my view in the slightest. They are like vaguely colored steam in the shape of my hands, and they make no shadow.

I look towards Neji. His eyes... My eyes... Our eyes. They're empty. Angry and hateful and empty. There isn't a shred of regret, and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure that I ever expected there to be regret. Why should he regret it? Because I'm his cousin? Because I'm the lady of the house? I'm not sure if it was my fault, but I know I'm the one he blames. Will he be happy now that I'm gone?

Naruto... It's funny. Tears still sting even though I don't think that I even have nerves... Or at least I don't think I have nerves. But whether I have nerves or not is the least of my problems and anyway I can feel tears rushing up to my eyes, because I never told him. Didn't I owe myself at least that much? I can hear him promise to avenge me. I don't really want him to. He'll just get hurt fighting Neji, even if he does win by some stroke of luck. If he doesn't die in the process that is. And it won't bring me back anyways. What point was there in revenge if it didn't change anything? It took people over, like acid eating at their hearts.

That was when a hand found it's way onto my shoulder, hesitant but heavy. The chakra that's held under that skin is strong. I can tell that it's sealed, though to what degree I wasn't sure.

" Ano... dijobu?" I can't even answer him. My throat has closed in on itself, and the words that I should be able to say are stuck. The words I want to say aren't words at all really. I just want to cry. I don't want to be dead! Is that so much to ask? I liked my life! Sure, Neji-Niisan hated my guts, and sometimes I wondered if I was ever going to become strong, but... but I loved my friends. I loved my family. I loved...I still loved Naruto, and I still wanted to prove myself. I was to young to die, pure and simple. I was only thirteen years old.

" Wh- who are you?" I stuttered, my voice sounded stupid. Cracked and broken and not at all like a shinobi.

"Why should I tell you? You're just another dead soul I have to send to the soul society" His voice is cold, just like Neji's. I want to hear it again.

" B-because it's polite. My Name is Hyuuga Hinata, what's yours?" I asked something about this boy made me want to find out what I could about him. He was intriguing. So very intriguing.

" Hitsugaya Toushiro." he responded simply

" Anyway gaki, Hinata was it? Is there anything you want to do before you go to the soul society or can I just do konsoul now?"

" Only one thing. I wish to go to my funeral," I said softly. I'm afraid of what he will think of my request.

" Your funeral? Why the hell would you want to go to your funeral of all things?" His stone spoke volumes about how strange he thought it was.

"I w-want to check if someone comes" I stuttered. I'm not sure whether it's a lie to keep talking with the beautiful white haired boy, or a truth that I haven't yet wanted to acknowledge.

"The one who killed you?" he's so sure of his answers. Even though he's wrong, something within me says to humor him and just say that I did want to see my brother at my funeral, because maybe, just maybe it will lift that terrible frown off of his face. I imagine that his smile is like Neji-Niisan's, half way between falling back into a frown, and three quarters of the way. But the other part of me admonishes myself for even thinking about lying to someone I didn't even know.

" No. I- I want to see if. My f-father comes," I said softly. I did love my father. He raised me the way he did because he knew that the world of shinobi would be no kinder to someone weak like me. He just wanted me to be used to being beat down, and there wasn't a single thing wrong with that. It'd given me the courage to stand up for myself today, even if that was my downfall.

" How will you know if he's there? You have a decent amount of reistu, but you wouldn't be able to sense his presence since you don't know what it feels like" he said coldly, his eyes narrowing just slightly.

"P-presence? What do you m-mean? I can see Otou-sama with my eyes."

" You aren't blind?" he said rudely. I frowned. But I didn't want to argue with the beautiful white haired boy. With Hitsugaya Toushiro.

"W-what is this soul society place anyway?"

"In your words heaven" He replied. Wasn't I supposed to go to hell? I was a shinobi after all. A killer. Killers weren't supposed to go to heaven.

"Oh"

_**Well that's the end. Sorry this is so short I thought the funeral deserved it's own chapter, so until next time!**_

_**Ja Ne**_

_**Tsukihime Nee**_


	3. Funerals And Gifts

**_HEY! I'm back. Yes I didn't just discontinue this story like most crossover authors. Whatever. Anyways I don't own anything cept the plot so get over it you stupid legal hounds. Oh and thanks so much RPGmastar for alerting as well as_** **_icegoddess52 you guys are awesome!_**

"Not many people are here" Hitsugaya remarked seeming completely nonchalant about the fact that he was at my funeral. And he didn't notice that it was missing a couple people. Namely my family, at least Naruto was here. The entire rookie nine came minus Neji along with their jonin sensei's. I couldn't even remember what they said, only the objects they left. A snowflake plushy from Kiba, along with a confession of love. And how much he was going to miss me. A beautiful comb from Ino it was a light shade of jade same as sakura's eyes with sakura trees and other types of flowers decorating the half circle that made up the part of the comb that wasn't teeth, a sakura blossom from who other then Sakura, a three pronged kunai from Tenten (like the one Kakashi has from yodiame), a long speech about how 'youthful' I was and that he couldn't think of a single object that merited my youthfulness, a beautiful preserved butterfly from Shino. He said something about something as beautiful as me should accompany me to the next world, a nod from Sasuke. I hadn't expected much from him, a shoji piece from Shikamaru, a bag of chips form Choji; his favorite flavor. Then Naruto. I saw my blond angel walk to my coffin he's crying, his voice not loud like I'm used to. But a softer more remorseful, his voice was rough with the salty tears that I was pretty sure were scratching his throat, like they were my own, then again we were two completely different people. Did tears scratch the throats of people like Naruto? Or just weak people like me? I can feel my own tears streaming down my face. Hot, licking at my flesh falling into my mouth and down my throat. Making my pretend throat close and burn in it's own sorrow

" I-. Hinata-Chan. Gomen, I never noticed you, not until you fought Neji and I realized how strong you were. And I never knew what you felt about me until Kiba told me about th-the note and well" but the rest was lost in the silent sobs that shook his frame he leaned over my body. And kissed me strait on the lips his own tears scattering on my body's cheeks. Letting his hiate fall into my coffin as he straitened up. And he stayed near my coffin. I walk to him and even though I know he can't see feel or hear me I hug him. And just before he closes the coffin I took his hiate as well as the comb and kunai, (they were the most practical of the gifts) before I broke down sobbing, my silent tears become heard dropping the gifts in the process.

" Did your Otou-sama come?" Hitsugaya asked his voice hollow. Through my tears I shook my head no. Then something unexpected happened, he hugged me. And I hugged him back, holding on to him, my only anchor to the world. Sobbing against his chest my fingertips brushing the sword on his back. It's power flowing through me. Helping me stop crying. I smiled as he released me from the hug. I sniffled.

" I thought at least maybe Hanabi-chan would come," I murmured mostly to myself as I bent down to pick up the gifts.

" G-gomen, Hitsugaya-kun" I sniffled again. Ashamed that I'd cried against the chest of a boy I barely knew. Ashamed that I'd shown such weakness I suppose.

"For what?" he asked

" For hugging you like that. I mean I barely know you, and I can tell that your not used to it. Sorry" I muttered

" There's nothing to be sorry for Hinata-san. I'm the one who hugged you. Remember? Or are you forgetful as well as blind?"

" I'm not blind"

" You keep telling yourself that"

" I'm ready to go now, to soul society I mean," I said my voice finding strength, not a single stutter working it's way into my words.

" Right, but just a tip. You should probably cover your eyes, if they think your blind in lower rokongai they'll take you for an easy target" he said in a matter of fact voice.

" Hai, Hitsugaya-kun" I answered tying Naruto's Hiate around my eyes the metal plate facing the front, I felt my byakugan activate as I saw completely through the headpiece and he pressed his sword's hilt to my forehead.

**_Well that's chapter numeral three! I hope you liked it. Sorry if it's short. I'm going to try to get some longer chapters in soon! But next chapter Hinata goes to rokongai! (This'll be interesting. I hope)_**


	4. Soul Society And A New World

_**Hey New chapter. Sorry for taking so long but hey. It's longer!! A thank you to iceblueangelfang for alerting. As well as mini wolf, MWkillkenny84 and pirateninjavampire for favoriting this! Oh and a huge giant thank you to hymen, WinterMission as well as AyamexLawliet for doing all three! Or is it two? Whatever they reviewed and favorited and alerted. So ya I don't have much else to say yeah. Umm this takes place before bleach starts in case you were wondering**_

_**DISCLAIMER APLLIES YOU CAN SHUT UP AND READ THE CHAPTER NOW!!!! Yes I had to put that in all caps **_

I found myself in an old style village organized by some invisible lines where one district separated itself from the district before and after it. And I could tell I was in the slums. Drunken mutterings as well cursing seemed to be the normal sounds as grimy kids ran around stealing what they could. This must be the 'lower rokongai' that Hitsugaya-kun mentioned. Most stayed away from me, I supposed the hiate scared them since my eyes weren't visible though it was obvious that I could see because how I dodged the various debris that scattered itself on the streets. I ran towards the distant farmlands that I could see many miles away. Straining my legs to run through the forest trails instead of through the streets. I was so tired and hungry as well. But I didn't trust myself to stop without breaking down. Not even as day and nights passed me by. I just kept running. I couldn't afford that weakness; I couldn't afford emotions, definitely not that emotion. Not now I had to find a place to live. And I wasn't about to rough it in the slums I'd woken up in. I wasn't paying attention when I tripped over a protruding tree root and because I had been running I was flung into a clearing. The last thing I felt was my head hitting against a tree

" Child, what were doing in the forest? Even though you're not in the lower rokongai anymore it doesn't make it a good place to konk out" an elderly woman said sweetly as I opened my eyes. I took in my surroundings I was in a small house. In a bed. And there was a field out back. I felt my body shoot up into a sitting position

" H-h-how long have I been out?" I said worriedly I had find somewhere to stay, even if it was only temporary since I wasn't in the slums anymore

" Only a couple hours, but what's the hurry child? You have many years ahead of you," my stomach growled loudly, making my cheeks turn bright red for the first time since Naruto-kun. She walked out so took a look at my self. I was in a simple knee length navy kimono which was sleeveless and no shoes. The gifts in my pocket and naruto's hiate over my eyes, my hair seemed to have grown itself out to about the length of Sakura's hair, the two strands that normally framed my face now down to my collar bone.

" Here" she gave me a bowl of rice

"You have a lot of reistu" she remarked.

"You must be hungry. You died recently yes?"

" Eto. H-hai. How did you know?"

" You're completely bewildered and you look very young"

"But speaking about age do you know how old you are?"

" F-fourteen" I answered not missing a beat, which seemed to surprise her

" Strange. Most don't remember such unimportant details as age" she muttered mostly to herself but that didn't keep me from hearing it

" I remember everything, back until I was about three. Demo normal humans don't even remember that far back" I explained my voice alight with curiosity

" What a strange child you are, it seems I have a knack for finding strange children" she said again to herself a distant smile on her face

" What do you mean?"

" The last children I raised are now a taicho and fukitaicho respectively" she answered proudly, though it seemed they were just two kids she'd found in the street she was proud as any mother. Like the mother that congratulated her child for passing the ninja exams that Naruto-kun would always look at longingly. I looked at the rice and chopsticks that she'd given me

" G-gomen I'm forgetting my manners I'm Hyuuga Hinata Arigaoto gozimasu for the rice" I said a tiny bit of friendliness infusing itself into my tone a smile adorning my face for the first time in a century it seemed

" Hinata-Chan, why don't you stay here? You obviously need somewhere to call home, perhaps you could help me in the fields, I'm getting much too old to tend to them properly myself"

" A-ari-arigaoto! I- I won't let you down!" I said letting Naruto's nindo lead me. I didn't trust myself to walk my path alone. I'd screwed up once I wouldn't screw up my afterlife as well.

_TIME SKIP ONE YEAR LATER _

How long has it been? It's a useless question. But I still can't believe it. One year. Three hundred and sixty five days since I last saw my dear friends whom I thought I couldn't live without friends. So many minutes have passed but I can't sleep. My body to tired to train anymore, I can barely lift a finger from the exhaustion that my strict nighttime training brought me. But I can't close my lids. I don't want to sleep. That way I don't have to see myself dying again and again, watching Naruto-Kun. My precious Naruto-Kun dying over and over as he protects my corpse, but I can't fight it anymore. I let my lids finally fall over my eyes.

_Burning pain. _

_A sorrow _

_White snow_

_My blonde angel._

_A grave _

_" Hey Hinata-Chan" he stands alone he's the only one at this grave, his Hiate is missing today his bright orange jacket standing out in the white and gray cemetery _

_" Happy birthday. I guess I haven't visited in awhile. I've had a lot of missions lately. I bet you wouldn't have minded if I was late" he chuckled angrily _

_" I bet you would've said 'I'm not mad at you! It doesn't really matter anyways' " he chuckled again, bitter anger and remorse tainting the once happy sound_

_" I guess it doesn't really matter what you would've said to me. You aren't saying it. You aren't here. You're under me. 6 feet under me" he muttered bitterly his hand tightening into a fist blood dripping out in droplets a shocking crimson against the cold stone of the grave. Everything was in slow motion now. Kunai in hand. Katana through the chest Neji's hand at its hilt. I can hear Sakura and myself scream in unison_

" Naruto-Kun!" my eyes snapped open tears running down my cheeks. It's nearly dawn I need to get to work soon. I begin to get up before a huge wave of fatigue washed over me. Making me fall to my knees. My world seemed to spin. Burning ice coating me in shivers and fire. I feel Obaa-chans hand on my forehead

" Hina-chan, You should lie down, you have a fever," she tells me her voice making my head pound.

" D-demo I-I have to get to the fields"

" Not as long as you're sick. You haven't been sleeping enough"

" G-gomen. Have you heard me come in?" I winced knowing that it was always the dead of night when I went out to train, and even later when I came in

" No. But you have huge circles under those pretty eyes. You where your headband to hide your eyes from everyone else but you don't wear it around me" she corrected knowingly. Tut tutting as she tucked me back into bed.

" You take the day off. And anyways my grandchildren Hitsugaya Toushiro and Hinamori Momo are visiting today, Toushiro's the taicho and Momo is the fukitaicho. You get some rest" I lied back down. The shock keeping me pinned to the futon memories flowing into my mind.

_' __" Wh- who are you?" I stuttered out cursing the incessant speech habit my byakugan deactivating _

_" Why should I tell you? You're just another dead soul I have to send to the soul society" he said the coldness I'd noticed earlier infusing itself into his tone _

_" B-because. Because it's polite. My Name is Hyuuga Hinata, what's yours?" I asked something about this boy made me want to find out what I could about him. He was intriguing, and the look in his eyes reminded me so much of my beloved Naruto-Kun. _

_" Hitsugaya Toushiro." he responded simply '_

_' Could it really be him?''_

**"Don't get your hopes up" **my mothers voice reminded me coldly

_' Go away' _I reply without even thinking about it

_**" You know I can't do that," the**_ voice echoed around me

_' It doesn't mean I want you commenting on every thought I have' _I knew full well my mothers voice wasn't going away anytime soon. If I didn't have bad dreams I had to listen to my fathers nagging doubts. About my strength, as well as my hopes. It wasn't fair; no one talked to me because they couldn't see my eyes, I could talk to Obachan, but I never tell her about this. Not the strange demon with my mother's voice. She needed a name. She wasn't my mother. Kanna, That would do for now. Beautiful blue pools against a black background.

_'What is this place?' _I walk mindlessly towards one of the pools. I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I looked into the pool they were the exact color of Naruto-kun's eyes the light reflecting off it giving it a life-like glow. I dipped a bare foot into the pool. It was so warm. I submerged the rest of my body into the pool sinking deeper and deeper into the warm water with air seeming to be unneeded. I opened my eyes finding the water to be many layers of blues and greens suspended next to each other. Toushiro's eyes. So warm and so strong. Both of them, at first glance Toushiro seemed so cold, an icy wall separating him from the world. Naruto-kun, his warm cerulean eyes keeping him next to his friends, to his precious people. I could see random spangles of jade as well as warm browns, determined black. Frozen sheets of lavender, dark grays, and periwinkle also made themselves mix into the pool. So many colors.

_' What is this?' _

**"It's your kindness" **I looked around wildly but finding no possible source for the sound. My lungs suddenly burning for air. I struggled to make my limbs move. Flying through the water. My head bursting through the surface, pulling myself onto the side of the pool my bare body shivering I pulled my legs close as means to starve off the sudden cold.

_'"What was that?" I wondered aloud._

_Crackling like the static of a wireless radio_

_Only this is a natural force no human device is present; only ice. Crawling around me. And yet I like this. I love the crawling cold. I love being near this power. Ice flowing, crawling, making rings. Binding my hands feet knees elbows every joint I had. _

"Baachan! It's so nice to see you again!" a shrill and distinctly feminine voice cuts through my first pleasant dream since arriving in rokongai. I opened my eyes sleepily. Squinting at the bright sunlight.

" Hina-chan! Come say hello."

" H-Hai. O-one second" I stuttered scrambling to find my hiate as well as my hair-tie, finding neither. I ran out of my room.

_'Ha. I'll just watch their gawking faces when they realize I'm not blind' _

" See, Hina-chan you can't wear that headband all the time" Baachan tut tutted me causally

" The only reason I'm not wearing my hiate is because _someone _hid it," I muttered glaring jokingly a slight smile on my face.

" Kobanwa! I'm Hinamori Momo, nice to meet you . Eto"

" Hyuuga Hinata, nice to meet you too Hinamori-san" I finished politely while she blushed lightly while nervously scratched the back of her head. I sat at the low table. Keeping my eyes trained on the rice that Baachan had set in front of us. Toushiro to seemed to find his rice interesting as well.

" I guess this is what happens when you put two anti-social people in the same room" Hinamori muttered to herself Baachan nodded in agreement

" Who you calling anti-social?" Toushiro replied coldly

" Both of you. Neither of you have said one thing to each other." Baachan scolded her face taking on a seriousness that I'd never seen before. I closed my eyes

" I-I guess my trouble sleeping is getting to me." I said softly

" Gomen sai, Toushiro-san" I muttered my tone utterly distracted. His eyes widened a bit

" How'd you know my name?" he asked warily

" Baachan told me" I replied fatigue washing over again.

" Momo-Chan, why don't you and me visit your old friends" Baachan said lightly seeing the hanging silence as a pointer that we wanted to have a more private conversation.

" D-d-d-demo Baachan" She stuttered as she got dragged away by the wrist. I took that she wasn't one that got subtle hints. The silence hung for a couple more moments.

" Are you who I think you are?" he asked coldly

" H-hai" I stuttered softly

" You have huge circles under your eyes" he remarked with his usual demeanor

" So would if you slept as little as I do" I said shortly my two index fingers beginning to subconsciously fidget

" And why aren't you sleeping?"

" Nightmares" I replied my voice becoming tight and filled with the anger, remorse, fear and regret. I felt my eyes begin to water

_'No! Don't you dare cry Hyuuga Hinata! You can not be weak like this!' _my thoughts screamed at me but that didn't stop a lone tear from dripping down my face

" The nightmares are about the one who killed you aren't they." I felt my shoulders crumple at the pure killing intent that was rolling off his body in waves.

_' You are a failure. There is nothing that can change that' Neji's voice echoed in my head_

"H-h-h-hai. H-how did you know?" My voice quavering as much as my body. I tried desperately to breath normally, but a pressure was weighting down on me. Icy cold, freezing my body and running shivers down my spine

" A hunch" he said nonchalantly the pressure receding back to his own body

**Toushiro's point of view**

"Tou-Chan! Momo-Chan! It's so nice to see you" Baachan calls to us as soon as her old eyes can make us out. I smile despite myself. I really did like her. She ushers us in telling us about a kid named Hyuuga Hinata whom she'd found in the time between our last visit.

_'Hyuuga. Hinata?' _my thoughts muttered trying desperately not to think of that kind stuttering girl who melted the icy barrier between the world and me.

_'I still remember when I met her' _the memory flowed through without permission

_' She just stood there. Shaking. Stunned confused. Unable to comprehend someone whom she called 'Neji-Nisan' had just killed her not a hint of sadness regret or remorse in his cold pupiless eyes. I felt rage run through me. _

_'Who could kill someone they shared flesh and blood with so willingly?' _

_' And how could 2 blind people fight with such precision?' the girls shoulders started to shake. And I could hear the_

_Plink_

_Plink _

_Plink as her tears hit the floor. I don't know why but it tears my heart out. It makes me want to help her. To comfort her. So unfamiliar, to want to show kindness. Not as part of a job or a routine. But because I wanted to. I find my hand on her shoulder._

_" Ano. Dishobu? " I know she isn't but. Nothing guides me, I just ask. No answer her shoulders just shake a bit more. __She whirls around the veins around her eyes prominent for only a moment making me wonder if I'd only imagined it. __ I hear her gasp at the icy facade before her _

_" Wh- who are you?" her voice is a soprano, an innocent ninja. What an oxymoron. A blind ninja how dumb. I can't help the ice from coming back judging her without much information, but after all that's why I was called a child prodigy. Because I never let anything get in the way of my judgment. Except Kasuka. He was my judgment. Never let anyone in. _

_" Why should I tell you? You're just another dead soul I have to send to the soul society" I responded. Keeping my voice icy. _

_Never let anyone in. my thoughts reminded me. _

_" B-because. Because it's polite. My Name is Hyuuga Hinata, what's yours?" her voice happy, curious, like hinamori. So innocent. _

_" Hitsugaya Toushiro." I responded simply. The rational part of my mind finding no reason to not say it. _

_" Anyway gaki, Hinata was it? Is there anything you want to do before you go to the soul society or can I just do konsoul now?" I asked my voice sounding impatient. Annoyed maybe. But she didn't seem to care much though_

_" Only one thing. I wish to go to my funeral" her voice taking on a soft and sorrowful tone _

_" Your funeral? Why the hell would you want to go to your funeral of all things?" my eyebrow raised. _

_" I want to check if someone comes," she said; leaving a lot to be asked _

_" Who? The one who killed you?" _

_" No. I- I want to see if. My Otou-sama comes" her voice taking again the softer tone. Tears coming to her eyes _

_" How will you know if he's there? You have a decent amount of reistu, but you wouldn't be able to sense his presence since you don't know what it feels like" I said suspiciously my eyes narrowing my eyes. _

_'Why does she doubt that her father would come?' _

_" What's all this presence talk? I'm not blind you know"_

_" You aren't?" _

_" What's this soul society place anyway?" _

_" In your words heaven" I replied _

_"Oh" '_

'_I remember how she cried at her funeral. For him. For the blonde kid. _

_I looked at the small gathering of people. _

_"Not many people are here" I remarked hoping for an explanation. I got none. I was only made to watch as her friends came and put items in her coffin. Her pale body wrapped in a simple kimono, lavender like her eyes with an indigo obi. Showing off the figure she hid in her large jacket. A kid with blonde hair and blue eyes comes up to the coffin. His eyes are hollow. His words remorseful and apologetic. He leans down and kisses her dead lips. Like that will bring her back, like a fairytale. But it strangely sends an intense wave of something akin to fury running through my veins. Jealousy? That he'd touched her lips? His headband fell into the coffin_

_'What was this? Why does she do this to me! ' More jealousy hit me as she hugged him. Just as the coffin closed she took a comb a three pronged throwing knife as well as the headband. Audible sobs escaped her. Soft thumps as the objects fall on to a soft cushion of grass. I couldn't see the kid who killed her in the crowd of receding mourners. I saw no one who looked even vaguely related to her. Hollow anger shot through me. _

_'Why did her Tou-sama torture her like this! '_

_" Did your Otou-sama come?" I asked my voice hollow all happiness taken away by the sight of the girl before me. I hated to see her suffer in this way. Her head shook no. I walked closer to her. I'd never felt the need to hug anyone before. I hated being hugged. It made me feel restless and annoyed. But somehow it seemed appropriate for the current situation. So I tried. I wrapped my arms hesitantly around her. Her arms lifted up wrapping around me. Her fingertips brushing Hyourinmaru. And he didn't seem to mind at all. The sword vibrated slightly inside the sheath. Letting a slight amount of reistu into her body _

_' Hyourinmaru what the hell are you doing!' I yelled at him telepathically. I had no idea of what type of punishment there was for transferring powers to a human soul. _

_' This girl is interesting. I wanted to give her a little help for when her own zanpakto awakens' the dragon said in a mysterious tone, like he knew something about her I didn't _

_' You mean she's going to be a shinigami? _

_' What do you mean?!' I questioned relentlessly _

_' You'll find out' I found my way back to the real world and released Hinata from the hug_

_" I thought at least maybe Hanabi-Neechan would come," she murmured softly _

_" G-gomen, Hitsugaya-kun" she said slightly louder a blush coating her cheeks _

_"For what?" _

_" For hugging you like that. I mean I barely know you, and I can tell that your not used to it. Sorry" _

_" There's nothing to be sorry for Hinata-san. I'm the one who hugged you. Remember? Or are you forgetful as well as blind?" I smiled slightly. Watching her face go from sad and embarrassed to mad and embarrassed _

_" I'm not blind," she muttered_

_" You keep telling yourself that" _

_" I'm ready to go now, to soul society I mean," she said in a happier tone. Her eyes softly determined_

_" Right, but just a tip. You should probably cover your eyes, if they think your blind in lower rokongai they'll take you for an easy target" I said hiding my concern with a matter-of-fact voice_

_" Hai, Hitsugaya-kun" she replied tying the headband over her eyes metal facing front. A peaceful expression adorned her face as she disappeared into the blue pool of light. _

_"What did you just do to her?" an angry voice sounded from behind me. Its reistu was malevolent. _

_" I sent her to soul society" I replied without thinking. _

_" What's that?" the voice questioned. Curiosity overlaying its anger_

_" Heaven" I turned around. Only to be confronted by the blonde kid from earlier. I felt my eyes widen. I'd initially thought it was just another soul, angry because it was scared for Hinata._

_" How can you see me?" _

_" What do ya mean you're standing there clear as day!" he yelled. Anger again showing on his face. The tears that were slipping from his eyes making him look more like a disgrunteled toddler._

_" To you I am. To everyone else you're yelling to thin air" I said coldly_

_" Great. Now the village has another reason to shun me. I got the Hyuuga heiress killed, a demon is sealed inside me and now I talk to air. Just wonderful" he sneered before walking away from me. Tracing his finger over the kanji of Hinata's name. _Vaguely I hear Baachan and Hinamori chatting animatedly about random topics.

" Hina-chan! Come say hello." Baachan called. I began to sense the world again. Hoping that I hadn't been daydreaming

" H-Hai. O-one second" Hinata's ringing soprano called out from the next room. The stutter still in her voice. She ran into the room her slightly longer hair ruffled, she had huge dark circles under her eyes.

" See, Hina-chan you can't wear that headband all the time" Baachan tut tutted. A smile on her face, like she'd just played a hilarious joke

" The only reason I'm not wearing my hiate is because _someone _hid it" Hinata said casually knowing full well who'd hidden her things

" Kobanwa! I'm Hinamori Momo and I'm the fukitaicho for squad five, nice to meet you . Eto" Hinamori said perkily. Her awkward brand of friendliness shining through

" Hyuuga Hinata, nice to meet you too Hinamori-san" Hinata fished her sentence politely before sitting down and commencing to stare at her rice like I now noticed I was. After a couple minutes of silence Hinamori muttered

" I guess this is what happens when you put two anti-social people in the same room" Baachan nodded in agreement

" Who you calling anti-social?" I retorted coldly

" Both of you. Neither of you have said one thing to each other." Baachan scolded her face taking on a seriousness that I'd never seen before. I scowled.

" I-I guess my trouble sleeping is getting to me." Hinata said softly so I could barely hear it. Hinamori seemed to miss it completely

" Gomensai, Toushiro-san" she muttered a bit louder. Her voice was distracted. Like she was still half asleep.

" How'd you know my name?" I asked trying to make myself sound wary

" Baachan told me," she explained in a matter-of-fact tone

" Momo-Chan, why don't you and me visit your old friends" Baachan said lightly seeing the hanging silence as a pointer that we wanted to have a more private conversation.

" D-d-d-demo Baachan" She stuttered as she got dragged away by the wrist, she never was one that got subtle hints. The silence hung for a couple more moments.

" Are you who I think you are?" I asked coldly. Staking everything on that one question

" H-hai" she stuttered softly

" You have huge circles under your eyes" I remarked; hoping again for an answer

" So would if you slept as little as I do" she said shortly, her two index fingers twirling around each other

" And why aren't you sleeping?" I asked in a tone that seemed slightly sarcastic

" Nightmares" she answered her voice tight with rage pain and sorrow her eyes began to fill with tears

" The nightmares are about the one who killed you aren't they." I said. Anger sinking in,

"H-h-h-hai. H-how did you know?"

_'No one has the right to do that to her! If I ever find that kid I'll kill him!' _

_'Someone's getting a little bit territorial, hmm Shiro-chan' Hyourinmaru said slyly_

_'Piss off' I thought angrily. I felt my reistu return to my body _

" A hunch"

_**WOOT! Are you all happy? I finally got something of decent length! *Dances around* oh and OBAMA WAS SWORN IN TODAY!!! YAY!!! I realize America isn't very well received on the international stage so I hope that our new president can help alleviate that problem (as well as some of our other ones) YAYNESS REVIEW!!!! *Blows on pen cap whistle and proceeds to get small plastic thing she bit off to make said whistle stuck in the back of her mouth. * wow. This is over 4,500 words long. WOOT!!**_


	5. Doubts and Ice

_**New chapter! Okay. First of all gomen I made a error in the last chapter that I fixed, it turns out Hinata is thirteen not fourteen so I'm hugely sorry about that I am also sorry for the delay in updating but I write morning, noon (when I can) and night but this year is extremely important in school so I really have to try really hard to keep my grades up. In other news, this is a really long reveiwer/alerter/favoriter thank you list. A thank you to **_**WinterMission and **_**Kira Acumichi**_ **for reviewing and thanks to **_**Traitor-Hero and Shikor**__**i**__** for alerting as well as fadedxwaters and Kira Acumichi for favoriting. Oh**_** and**_** a huge ass thank you to ForeverBandGeek for reviewing, favoriting (story and author!) as well as alerting (story and author again) as well as edgyflower2470 for alerting (as an author, thanks bakka-chan) Wow, I never thought I could be this happy about people. I'm completely at a loss on how to say how grateful I am towards you right now. Winter mission has had a nice Q and A with me for being the first reviewer. And since WinterMission got a reward so will ForeverBandGeek. So for your monumental encouragement this is dedicated to you ForeverBandGeek, I hope sincerely that you enjoy! **_

"I'm glad to see that you two managed to have a conversation while we were gone" Baachan said happily I hadn't even noticed her approach. I hadn't been paying attention. I had always thought that shinigami were amazing people. To be able to fight with their zanpakto. But learning about the Seireitei, that was amazing. There was so much to learn! Zapaktos, laws, the list went on but. Why did I want this information so badly? Did I desire to be a shinigami? I mentally shook my head. I could never be a shinigami. However much I hated it I was a failure. I'd failed as a shinobi. Even if I trained forever. I'd never be strong.

**" That's right, gaki" **kanna sneered in my mind

_'Go away' I muttered weakly_

**" Go away! Hinata's strong! She'll be a great shinigami one day!" **a kinder voice yelled, Naruto's voice

_**" Maybe in a million years" **_kanna snickered

"Hina-Chan, you've really got to stop daydreaming like that" Baachan cut my inner battle off.

"H-huh?" Baachan scowled slightly

" Toushiro and Momo are going to stay here tonight, I hope you don't mind the sleeping in your room"

" Of course not! I'm used to living in a crowded house anyways" I said lightly everyone in the room looked at me with a confused face

" When I was alive I lived in a clan house, so I'm used to having many people around" I explained. Pushing my bangs out of my eyes only to have them fall back into their original position. Hinamori giggled.

" It's easier when they get longer" she said jokingly reassuring. I smiled, not really because I wanted to but because that was what she wanted. It was something she seemed to be able to do without thinking.

" Is that why you usually wear a headband Hinata-san?" she asked innocently

" No. I wear my hiate over my eyes" I muttered averting my eyes so she wouldn't notice if she hadn't before the absence of pupils in my eyes

" Over your eyes? Then how would you see?" her mouth began to pout at the new puzzle. After a couple moments her face brightened

" I get it! You're blind so it doesn't matter if you can see or not. So you choose to hid your eyes to avoid people pitying you!"

" Half right. I'm not blind, but people tend to make that assumption, so I just hide my eyes. Not that they don't pity me anyway, but they'd pity me more if they thought I was blind as well as extremely young"

" Extremely young? You look the same age as Shiro-chan," she pouted again

" Baachan didn't tell you? I'm only fourteen"

"F-f-f-fo-fourteen?" her eyes were shocked and tears welled up in her eyes

" H-how. How long. Ago did. Did you die?"

" A year ago today" I muttered my voice ragged. I didn't want to think about this. I didn't want to cry.

" Gomen sai Hinamori-san. Demo. Demo. I-I I just. I can't talk about this" I managed to get out before I ran strait out the backdoor trying desperately to hide my tears. I was running again. How far or how fast I didn't know. But I was running again.

_**"Hinata! Running isn't going to solve anything! " **_Naruto yelled at me. Completely enraged. Like when he'd yelled at me to kick Neji's ass on the day I died.

_'I can't face this. I don't want to!''_

_**" You can't run away from this either," he**_ said. Disappointed

_'Just watch me Naruto-kun. I'm not stupid anymore I know this is too strong for me to face alone. And anyway '_

_'All that standing has ever given me' _

_' Is death' _I increased my speed. I ran and ran through the forest. Not caring what I landed on branches or, soil. I couldn't even tell where I was. I wasn't paying attention. Not until I heard a sharp crack as the branch I'd just landed on broke under my foot I didn't even have time to so much as gasp before I plunged under the surface of a surprisingly cold lake. The last of my oxygen escaped my lips as the gasp let itself out in a late reaction to the cold, to the shock. Dark water filling my mouth. So dark; not the light colored lakes of my mind. But I can't move. I look down. Ice. Binding ice. Keeping me down rings binding all of my joints ankles, knees, elbows, and wrists. I can't move. I can't take air even though my lungs burn.

**" Child, say my name, and I'll save you. But only if you say my name" **a woman said. Her voice firm and confident

_'What is your name? I don't know it!' my thoughts hysterically cried _

**" My name is _________" **

_' Wha- I-I can't hear you' _

**" Fine then. I guess your gonna stay down here until you find out"**

_' Wha-no I can't breathe. I-I-I. _

_'Help me' _I felt my tears get lost in the water.

_' Help me!' Whispering voices _

**'Failure**

**Burden **

**Disgrace**

**Worthless**

_'NO! I'm not any of those things! '_

**"That's more liked it kid. But you have yet to say my name. I'll say this once more before you aren't alive anymore my name is _________" **

**" Say it back to me" I** still don't know the name.

_' I do not know your name; I still know nothing of my desires. I do not heed them if I do. I will die because I ran, because I fell again.' _

" Hinata! Oi! Wake up!" a massive spurt of water comes out of my mouth as I cough gasping for air. Wondering how I got back to shore.

"N-nani"

" Hinata. What were you doing in that lake?" Now I finally get my bearings. I'm in his arms being held bridal style. My arms and legs still bound in front if me I felt a deep blush sink into my cheeks as I let out a gasp of air, I gulped a bit

"A-a-ano, Hitsu-T-Toushiro. C-could you please p-put me down"

"No I can't. You can't stand on water last time I checked" he replied a tiny confident smile on his face. Holding me closer causing my cheeks to turn an even more furious red.

"Hinata. What were you doing in that lake?" he asked again his face twisting back into a cold and angry look.

" I-I fell. I. I was r-running and-and a branch broke and I fell into the lake," I said quietly. I knew what he thought, he thought that was just an excuse, that'd I'd done this myself. I felt his fists tighten around my arms I winced at the pressure that was being exerted on my arm his blunt nails digging into my upper arm

"-that hurts" I said weakly

"Tell me the truth. Did you try to drown yourself?"

" No! I swear on! -" I blinked back tears. Taking a breath to steady myself

" I swear on my love. My kindness. On-on my soul" I continued. He looked at my eyes completely bewildered. I feel the ice break from my joints.

**Toushiro point of view**

" I'm glad to see that you two managed to have a conversation while we were gone" Baachan said cheerfully. Happy that her missions of making us talk had worked. Momo had already made arrangements for us to stay for the night and return to the Seireitei in the morning. Baachan looked over at Hinata who happened to be daydreaming

"Hina-Chan, you've really got to stop daydreaming like that"

"H-huh?" she muttered blinking

" Toushiro and Momo are going to stay here tonight, I hope you don't mind the sleeping in your room," she explained

" Of course not! I'm used to living in a crowded house anyways" Hinata replied lightly. Everyone in the room including me stared at her in confusion

" When I was alive I lived in a clan house, so I'm used to having many people around" she explained, pushing her shaggy bangs out of the way only to have them fall back in place earning herself a giggle from Momo.

" It's easier when they get longer" she said her tone a cross between joking and reassuring Hinata smiled slightly

"Is that why you usually wear a headband Hinata-san" the question was innocent enough but I knew why she continued to hide her eyes.

" No. I wear my hiate over my eyes" she muttered averting her eyes

" Over your eyes? Then how would you see?" She pouted concentrating on the new puzzle

" I get it! You're blind so it doesn't matter if you can see or not. So you choose to hid your eyes to avoid people pitying you!" she exclaimed her face brightening at the answer

" Half right. I'm not blind, but people tend to make that assumption, so I just hide my eyes. Not that they don't pity me anyway, but they'd pity me more if they thought I was blind as well as extremely young" Hinata said in a tone that could only be described as modest

" Extremely young? You look the same age as Shiro-chan," she pouted again.

" Baachan didn't tell you? I'm only fourteen" she replied a slight curiosity in her voice.

_' Fourteen? I knew she was young, but I didn't think she was that young' _

_' Surprised Shiro-Chan? I bet you thought that a fourteen year old couldn't be as pretty as you think she is' Hyourinmaru_ commented slyly

_' When have I ever said she was pretty? Well. She is pretty now that you mention it, but I never said anything about that before' _

_' I have access to your subconscious' _the dragon replied in a matter-of-fact tone. I worked to get back into the real world again cursing Hyourinmaru for interrupting.

"F-f-f-fo-fourteen?" Hinamori finally managed to stutter. Tears welling up in her big eyes

" H-how. How long. Ago did. Did you die?" she managed to ask

" A year ago today" Hinata muttered her voice the thick one I recognized from the day of her funeral. Sorrowful.

_' She still regrets that she died... but why?' _

" Gomen sai Hinamori-san. Demo. Demo. I-I I just. I can't talk about this" she choked out before she ran out the backdoor with surprising speed. Speed that was much faster then many ranked officers of the gotei 13.

" Hinata-san matte!" Hinamori called after her, but it was no use she was deaf to the world. I can hear the gradually softening

_Tlap _

_Tlap _

_Tlap _as her tears hit the leaves the soft receding

_Thump _as her bare feet hit exposed soil

The sharp but also receding

_Slap_ as the exerted force from her feet hit the old trees of the forest

The slight and whispering

_Rustle _as her feet meet the old fall leaves

I don't think anyone else notices the sounds of her running. No else really cared.

" W-will she be ok? " Hinamori asked worriedly, maybe she'd noticed the slaps.

" Is stuttering a virus or something? " I cut into the conversation in a way that was much like the personality that both Momo and Baachan were used to. Bratty but controlled and sarcastic.

" Shiro-chan! How can you be so rude! You should be a little more concerned for your girlfriend!" she yelled at me tears boiling in her eyes

" First off, I'm not Shiro-chan and second, since when was Hinata my girlfriend?" I felt my eyebrow automatically rise. My frown remaining on my face.

" Hina-Chan will be fine. She tends to run when she gets upset. It's her way of venting" Baachan cut in before the argument could get any further. After an hour or so Baachan's face began to become worried. Looking towards the back door constantly. I knew she was worried about her.

" Baachan should I go look for her?" I asked with masked over concern.

_'What if something had happened to her'?_

" Could you Tou-chan?" Baachan said

" Sure, where should I look?" I smiled. A real one this time. I could always smile around Baachan.

" Just follow a strait line" she pointed to where Hinata had began her run. I nodded walking out the back door. She couldn't have gone all that far right? After fifteen minutes or so of walking I began to use shunpo Hinata's reistu was significantly closer after only a minute of running. Hinata's reistu was fluctuating wildly. In the distance I hear a faint crack like a branch breaking. It only made me run faster. Until I came to a lake. The surface rippling wildly a broken branch bobbing with the constantly changing water level. Hinata's reistu constantly trying to break the surface but to no avail. I waited a couple minutes

' I know she's in that lake, then why isn't she getting out?'

**" Maybe she's unconscious?" Hyourinmaru suggested **

_'No her reistu wouldn't be fluctuating like this if she was' _

**" Maybe. She did this herself" **Hyourinmaru said softly. He didn't like the possibility but that he knew it was possible.I ran out on to the water focusing reishi under my feet to hold me up. I looked under the dark surface of the water. I can vaguely see her. Her eyes are closed and she looks like she could be sleeping locks of her hair moving lazily; moved by an unknown breeze. Her arms are in font of her like they were tied together. I reach under the surface and grab one of her arms, both of her arms rise. Like they're bound together I pull her head above the surface before I put my hands under her shoulders and lifted her so she was cradled in my arms. Dark ice was settled around her joints. She looked so childish. But I know she's not a little kid sleeping in her bed. Hinata was a young woman. And she might've just tried to take her own life.

" Hinata! Oi! Wake up!" I yelled at her. Hoping maybe that the sound would wake her up. Water bubbles out of her mouth as she coughs. Gasping for air. Eyes wide with shock

"N-nani" she muttered

" Hinata. What were you doing in that lake?" I asked. Sorrow twisting in my chest at the mere thought of her not being there. Of her only being a memory no one would know about. A blush illuminated her pale cheeks furious red as she realized where she was. She swallowed

A-a-ano, Hitsu-T-Toushiro. C-could you please p-put me down" she stuttered

"No I can't. You can't stand on water last time I checked" I smiled slightly.

_'She's really cute when she blushes- wait, what did I just say?' _ I felt the anger rush through me. Tearing me inside out. Why had she done this to herself? Why?

"Hinata. What were you doing in that lake?" I said again. My face slipping into a contorted frown. Pain pounding in my chest.

" I-I fell. I. I was r-running and-and a branch broke and I fell into the lake," she said softly averting her eyes, her blush fading. She was lying. I could tell. If not lying afraid. I felt my hand tighten around her upper arm

-that hurts" she said weakly

"Tell me the truth. Did you try to drown yourself?"

" No! I swear on! -" She blinked. Taking a silent breath

" I swear on my love. My kindness. On-on my soul" she continued, her voice completely level. I felt my face melt into bewilderment. Something that I rarely felt.

_' Love? For who? The blonde kid?' _

_"_**Ya know for a child prodigy you're pretty stupid when it comes to reading people" **_Hyourinmaru commented_

_' What does reading people have to do with any of this?' _

" Toushiro? You. You believe me don't you?"

" Of course I do, do I have a reason not to?" I replied. Relief feeling like a faint echo of the pain.

" I guess so. I mean- " she sighed blinking heavily

" No, I guess you don't" she mumbled a slight smile on her face. Her eyes drifting closed again, her breathing gets slower. I walk to the shore. Laying her down on the sand her head

_' She's asleep''_ I thought

_" _**No she just went into a coma." **_Hyourinmaru interjected his voice laden with sarcasm_

**' Of course she's sleeping dumbass! Jeez the kids just had contact with her zanpakto while drowning! She's exhausted!' **he yelled

**' **_Wait a- did you just say she had contact with her zanpakto?' _

**' Yes. You didn't notice?' **

_'Notice what?' _I questioned stupidly

**' oh nothing just that her reistu has gone through the roof since the last time you saw her!**_' _

_' Well that might have something to do with __someone__ transferring reistu to her' _

_'_** No it didn't. Her zanpakto laid dormant and undecided with in her soul. I just dictated its form. Not it's existence' **

_' Whatever. Should I wake her up?' _

**' Probably, unless you feel like carrying a wet and unconscious girl through the forest' **

_'Right' _

" Hinata" I shook her shoulders her eyes fluttered slightly, her eyes screwing up before she opened them again. A blush sunk into her cheeks as she shot up into a sitting position

" G-g-g gomenasai! I-I really didn't mean to fall asleep and-" I clapped a hand over her mouth

" It's fine. You nearly drowned. It's logical for you to be tired. " I took my hand from her mouth

" D-demo. Your all wet because of me" she continued weakly

" It's fine. Really. I can dry us both off in no time anyways. Hyourinmaru controls all the water in the atmosphere"

" Hyourinmaru? You mean your sword?" she asked nothing but curiosity in her voice.

" Hyourinmaru" she whispered. She reached out lightly touching Hyourimaru's hilt, it felt strange but the way her fingertips brushed the wrapping of Hyourinmaru's hilt it wasn't in a way that was offensive or dominant. Only curious. She mumbled something unintelligible. I focused. Letting all of the water on the both of us come off and turn into a small icy dragon

" Is that what he looks like?" Hinata asked out of the blue.

" Hai. But how'd ya know that Hyourinmaru was male?"

" I-I dunno. I assumed I guess"

" Whatever we should get back," I muttered distractedly. Looking down. By the time I looked up again she was already nearly out of sight.

" Oi! Matte!" I called as I ran after her using shunpo to catch up. Running as fast as I could without using shunpo

" How can you run this fast?"

" Practice" Hinata stated simply

_' Didn't Baachan say that she ran as a way of getting rid of her emotions. Way is she so tortured?' _

" You two sure took your time! It's nearly sunset" Hinamori and Baachan scolded simultaneously

" Gomen Baachan, This gaki ran damn far"

"Where I ran to wasn't all that far Toushiro-san. It didn't take you all that long to get there. " She muttered flatly. I rolled my eyes.

" That would be because I used shunpo" I walked out knowing sunset was just moments away. I sat on the porch. I loved sunset. I reminded me of how simple it used to be. As well as the complexity of life now.

**Hinata point of view **

The silence hung for a couple moments

"Toushiro? You. You believe me don't you?" I said my voice high pitched with fear. Fear that he thought I was a suicidal liar.

" Of course I do, do I have a reason not to?" he replied, his voice a mix of pain, relief and kindness.

" I guess so. I mean- " I sighed blinking heavily. My eyes were so goddamned heavy. It was amazing that I'd managed to open them again.

_' I'm a kid who failed completely. I could have reasons to commit suicide. Naruto-kun, Neji-Nisan' _

**" Hyuuga Hinata! Don't you dare think like that!" **Kanna immediately interjected

" No, I guess you don't" I mumbled. My eyelids falling again. I felt deep blackness envelope me. Not even dreams could penetrate.

" Hinata" Toushiro's voice cuts through the dark. I struggle to open my eyes. I felt a blush sink into my cheeks as I look at his face and realize that my extremely wet head is resting in his lap.

" G-g-g gomenasai! I-I really didn't mean to fall asleep and-" I began to apologize in a rush before his hand clapped over my mouth effectively silencing me

" It's fine. You nearly drowned. It's logical for you to be tired. " He interjected roughly

" D-demo. Your all wet because of me" I continued weakly

" It's fine. Really. I can dry us both off in no time anyways. Hyourinmaru controls all the water in the atmosphere," he said.

_' Who's Hyourinmaru?' _

**" It's his zanpakto bakka" **

" Hyourinmaru? You mean your sword?" I asked pent up curiosity flowing up my throat into my voice

" Hyourinmaru" I whispered testing the name on my tongue. Beautiful and powerful but not mine. I felt my hand reach out and touch the hilt lightly. My fingers brushing against the hilt's wrappings I found myself entranced by the soft cloth, worn from many battles yet not torn. I felt a different name cross my tongue but I couldn't place any of the words so much like him. I felt the sword vibrate ever so slightly. Toushiro didn't even notice, but it reminded me of what I was doing. From what Toushiro had told me the zanpakto was an extremely personal object. An incarnation of ones soul. To touch one's zanpakto with your hand was. Well it was unthinkable. I withdrew my hand. My eyes automatically looking at the small, icy, Chinese style dragon that was floating in the air. It's ruby eyes staring at me as if to say 'hello' I watched Toushiro's face for a moment. It was completely focused on the small dragon.

" is that what he looks like?" I asked suddenly

" Hai. But how'd ya know that Hyourinmaru was male?"

" I-I dunno. I assumed I guess" I replied speaking my thoughts aloud

" Whatever we should get back," he muttered distractedly. I took the distraction and began to run. Hearing a oh so distant

" Oi! Matte!" I smiled. I loved the feeling that came up in my stomach. Pride? No. Accomplishment. A soft glow in my stomach.

" How can you run this fast?" he panted as soon as he caught up with me

" Practice" I stated simply

" You two sure took your time! It's nearly sunset" Hinamori and Baachan both yelled worry plain on both their faces.

" Gomen Baachan, This gaki ran damn far," Toushiro stated rudely

"Where I ran to wasn't all that far Toushiro-san. It didn't take you all that long to get there. " I retorted flatly. He walked out staring at the sunset. I immediately looked away. I hardly ever looked at the sky. It reminded me too much of everyone in konoha. Sunrise bright determined like Lee, Kiba, as well as Naruto-kun, the sun bright and yellow like Naruto-kun's blond hair. Afternoon's heat like Sakura and Ino's confidence and the perfect time for growing flowers the soft and fluffy clouds Shikamaru loved so. Twilight like Tenten and Shino's quiet kindness that was always there. The only time I ever allowed myself to look at the sky was nighttime. The stars reminded me of no one. It gave me a chance to think.

" Hinata-Chan why don't you come watch the sunset with us!" Hinamori called from out front.

"M-Mmkay!" Baachan handed me my haite as well as my hair tie. I nodded a quiet thank you. She knew how much the sky plagued me. She knew just how uncomfortable I was showing my eyes to others. I managed a small smile as I walked out tying my hair up into its usual spiky ponytail tying my haite as well.

" Hinata-chan! Your hair looks really nice!"

" O-oh arigato"

" You look sad, something the matter?" she inquired innocently

" Not really"

" O-okay. If you want to talk to me I'm all ears"

" I'll remember that" I said quietly letting my hiate slide to it's old postion around my neck. I let old memories flow into my head. Replacing the sunset. Lazy days with a little Shikamaru, giggles from the antics of the most mischievous quartet in all of konoha Choji, Kiba, Naruto, and Shikamaru. I can remember quiet afternoons with Shino, searching for bugs. Me finding mostly butterflies. I felt a shake on the shoulder knock me out of my daydream.

" Hinata-chan it's dinnertime" Hinamori said softly

" O-oh gomen I got a bit lost in daydreams"

" Don't worry Baachan says you work more then you really ought to, it's okay to take a break sometimes." she smiled, I followed her inside. Letting the pleasant feeling of having a family envelope me. But I knew it wouldn't last long. It never did. I looked outside. Fatigue making me clutch my skull

" Hinata, dishobu?" Hitsugaya said he sounded unconcerned but I could hear something if I listened hard enough I thought I heard the slightest hint of concern. I'm pretty sure I imagined it though.

" I-I'm fine just tired," I whispered. Blinking heavily. I only managed to listen to an hours more conversation before. I passed out against the wall I had been sitting against. Deep black taking over just like before I can vaguely hear someone saying something. Yelling really. But I don't catch any words. But a swift chord of pain racing through my heart

" Jeez, she really was tired" Toushiro muttered in amazement. His voice cutting through the darkness for the second time

" Shiro-chan! Not so loud you're gonna wake her up!" she said substantially louder

" If anyone's going to wake her up it's going to be you" he remarked. I moved just slightly. Snuggling closer to him. A contented smile spreading across my face, the pain forgotten. He was so warm. Like the pond I'd dreamed of.

" I guess she's a heavy sleeper," Hinamori said lightly. I felt my foton underneath me. And a blanket being pulled over me. So warm. I see the pond again, it's warm and I'm sinking into its colorful depths.

**Toushiro's point of view**

" Hinata-Chan why don't you come watch the sunset with us!" Hinamori called from next to me. Smashing my train of thought into bits

"M-Mmkay!" Hinata came out her Headband over her eyes and hair up in a spiky ponytail.

" Hinata-chan! Your hair looks really nice!"

" O-oh arigato"

She stared off into the sunset, a quiet sad air around he; like she was suppressing something. Hinamori's face softened sensing the change in Hinata's mood.

" You look sad, something the matter?" she inquired innocently

" Not really" Hinata replied sadness hanging in her tone

" O-okay. If you want to talk to me I'm all ears" Hinamori said a bit of disappointed that Hinata hadn't chosen to confide in her

" I'll remember that" Hinata said carefully letting her headband fall to it's old place around her neck, before looking towards the sunset even after the sun was long down. Soon enough it was dinner.

" Hinata-chan it's dinnertime" Hinamori said softly shaking Hinata's shoulder

" O-oh gomen I got a bit lost in daydreams"

" Don't worry Baachan says you work more then you really ought to, it's okay to take a break sometimes." She smiled good-naturedly. Walking in with her. A smile adorned Hinata's face. She was silent throughout the meal but that seemed to be her general disposition. It wasn't until she held her head in her hands that I was concerned.

_' Is her zanpakto trying to contact her again?' _

_'_**"No"**Hyourinmaru replied almost immediately

" Hinata, dishobu?" I hid my concern.

" I-I'm fine just tired," she said hoarsely. Leaning up against a wall. She seemed to drift in and out of daydreams for about an hour before her eyes stayed closed and her steady breath slowed slightly a soft whisper against her sleeve. Moonlight and firelight playing softly on her features.

" Hey, Shiro-Chan if you're gonna stare at least do it discretely" Hinamori teased

" I wasn't staring, and I'm not Shiro-Chan" I replied shortly

" Yes you were! Shiro-Chan has as crush!" she giggled. Obviously thrilled by the prospect of telling Matsumoto about this the next chance she got. And Matsumoto being Matsumoto... Nothing really stayed a secret with her.

" I'm going to say this one more time Momo. I'm not Shiro-Chan, and I don't have a crush on Hinata!" I yelled loosing my patience. Much more anger infusing itself into my voice then really necessary. Hinamori's whole torso drew back; even in her sleep Hinata drew her body closer; as if the words caused her pain. Tears started in Hinamori's eyes. I kept my eyes cold. Just to deter her from her ever mentioning it again; what Hinata was to me was my business not hers.

**" Don't take your confusion out on her. Hinata or Hinamori" **Hyourinmaru said quietly

_' Piss off. I'm not in the mood for arguing with you right now' _

" Jeez Hitsugaya-kun I was just teasing. You take things way too seriously," Hinamori said quietly

" Gomen I guess I overreacted. But it was really annoying " I muttered, hoping she was simply forget this whole incident. I looked over. She was still sleeping.

" Hinamori we should probably get to bed. We'll have to leave pretty early to get back in time"

" Kay. But what about Hinata?"

" There are three foton in her room. You can all sleep in there"

" You're carrying her." Hinamori said shortly

"Why am I carrying her?" Hinamori didn't answer. I sighed. There wasn't a point in arguing. I walked over to Hinata. Her face peaceful. Like when she looked at me just before she disappeared in that blue pool of light. I picked her up. Holding her bridal style

" Jeez, she really was tired" I muttered in amazement. I didn't remember her being this heavy either.

" Shiro-chan! Not so loud you're gonna wake her up!" Hinamori piped up. Her voice much louder then mine had been

" If anyone's going to wake her up it's going to be you" Hinata stirred slightly. Pulling her body closer before falling deeper into sleep.

" I guess she's a heavy sleeper," Hinamori said lightly. I laid her down on her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. Looking for just a moment. I wonder why she was handed the fate she was. To be killed at such a young age. The innocent child sleeping before me didn't deserve that. I robotically got into the separate foton baachan had put out for me. As Hinamori did the same choosing the third foton on the other side of Hinata. I closed my eyes letting a dreams overtake me.

_**Not as long as last time I know but I really hope you like it anyways. **_


	6. Authors Note

_**Gomenasai minna. While I was writing this I acidently deleted the chapter and I have to write it all over. WAAHHHHH! so I just wanted you to all know why this next chapter was such a long wait... I really do want to cry I'd really liked what I'd written so I'm super upset that it got deleted. but hopefully it will turn out better this time so it's worth the wait. **_


	7. Kisses And Lullabies

_**Hey everybody! So this is something that I've been meaning to do for a long time, and that is finally replacing this chapter with something that was a little more like I had intended it to be. Anyways on to the disclaimer.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Understand?**_

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

Hollow taps woke me from the sleep I'd fallen into earlier. I opened my eyes Hinata's bed was empty and a pale foot caught the corner of my vision.

"Hinata?" I muttered rubbing sleep from my eyes. I pulled myself up. Walking out to the back. Hinata was sitting on the edge of the porch. And besides the fact that she was breathing she didn't move. She didn't even fidget or twitch like most people would.

"Hinata?" I said softly. She didn't respond I was about to touch her. Just to make sure she was real. That I wasn't dreaming. But before I could she got up abruptly. And ran into the forest with surprising speed. I felt my eyes narrow. Just where was she going? I followed her. Trying to keep her arms and legs in sight being as the rest of her blended in with the dark forest around her. She stopped in a clearing. It was a pretty average clearing. In fact the only thing abnormal about it was one tree. The moon glinted off it strangely, and it was worn smooth. The bark not as rough as the surrounding trees. I jumped down from the branch that I was on.

"Gomenasai, Toushiro-san, did I wake you?" her voice was low but it was rough. Rough and icy, like a glacier. What was wrong with her! Was it even her?

"N-no. I woke up on my own." suddenly I felt nervous and on edge. My stomach felt like it was in my throat and my heart was pressed into a small corner.

"But why are you up anyways?" I felt heat come to my cheeks as I suddenly noticed how the moon made her skin slightly paler than usual, her collarbone making a pronounced shadow on her skin.

"N-no reason" she muttered. But I knew it was the nightmares. I felt anger bubble up in me. Why couldn't she just be honest! Why did her past bother her so much? She was dead, and yet she was so bound to her life. She was such a wonderful, beautiful, and above all kind person. So why didn't she show that to anyone other than me?

"Hinata that's a lie and you know it" she stiffened. I had been right

"You had a nightmare didn't you" she turned away.

"It's not your business" she replied coldly

"Then just who's business is it Hinata?" she turned back towards me. An angry heated blush adorning her face.

"Why should it matter to you!" her voice was angry. Angrier then I'd ever seen her before. I paused for a moment. Why the hell did I care?

"**Because she's precious to you bakka" **Hyourinmaru cut in.

"What was your nightmare about?" I questioned avoiding the subject of the feelings that were pressing my heart into a corner and my mind away from any type of rational thought.

"Why the hell should I tell you!" her eyes burned angrily. But she didn't seem to be angry with me. Rather. She seemed angry with herself. I felt anger bubble up inside myself as well, why was she completely ignoring something that was so hard for me to do! It's not like I did this type of thing, well ever. I pinned her to the tree behind her my body weight keeping her in place.

"Damn it Hinata! Can't you see I'm trying to help!" she just struggled. I sighed, trying to calm down. If I didn't calm down I wasn't going to get to her. She opened up when she wanted to. Not when forced.

"Hinata, please? Can you tell me what your nightmare was about?" I said. My voice softer. She stopped struggling. She stopped even supporting herself as her legs fell out from under her. Tears rushed down her face. I felt guilt rush through me. Twisting through my chest. Every cell of my being saying that this was my fault that I had made her sad. I kneeled down and put my arms under her shoulders hoisting her up again. My head fell to the bark of the tree behind her. I could feel her ear brush against my cheek. It felt red hot, a quick pulse beating rapidly under the delicate skin. My eyes closed. Hoping to enclose her scent. River water mixed with sunlight. The scent of many of my own childhood summers. I of course hated summer, but somehow the fact that her scent wasn't cold or wintery comforted me.

"I-I Gomen, Hinata. I shouldn't have asked. You're right. It wasn't my business" I brought my head up. Just to see her face. To see if she forgave me. She wasn't crying anymore. Her cheeks were flushed red. I closed my eyes

"Don't" her voice cut in. her palm felt soft yet weathered against my cheek, like a piece of driftwood, worn smooth by the ocean.

Her fingertips brushing the pulsing skin at my temple, her hands were slightly cool, and it was comforting to feel that touch. Just the comfort of the reistu that flowed through her, uncoordinated and free as it washed over me, making me feel as if I was submerged in water yet needed no air, it held me close, caressing me in a way that made a warm feeling rise in my chest. I opened my eyes.

"Don't what?" Curiosity took me over. She withdrew her hand, much to my own disappointment.

"Close your eyes, they're really beautiful," she muttered looking away. I smiled. She had beautiful eyes too. I put my forehead to hers.

I was pulled to her. She was my moon. The thing that provided light in my darkest of hours. Her eyes were curious, but hesitant.

She closed her eyes and lifted her lips to mine. And I responded automatically. Crushing and brushing into her lips.

I only pulled away when I ran out of oxygen. She pulled me into a tight hug. To tight for me even to move my arms to hug her back. Her hot damp face burying itself into the crook of my neck.

"Toushiro?"

"What is it Hinata?" I mumbled into her hair. It was thick her scent woven into it like the scent of dust is in an old blanket. The strands were silky but slightly warm.

"Is what we just did illegal?" her hands clenched. I sighed. I could tell that she did not want a ' sorta kinda' type of answer.

"Yeah" she released me.

"We should probably go back," I muttered. Tiredness seeping through me.

"Your right, Gomen, you must be tired"

"Am not" I muttered. It felt natural to retort in such a childish way. Though I wasn't by any means a child. She giggled.

"Of course not, but we should start heading back anyways" her voice was slightly tired as well. I smirked. I knocked her knees out from under her, somehow managing to hold her bridal style. Her face turned scarlet as she squeaked in surprise. She clung close to my uniform.

"You might want to hold on" she clung closer; I could feel her heartbeat against my own. I shunpoed back to the house. My feet touching down softly down on the worn wood. I yawned. Hinata slipped out of my arms. I sat down, not quite ready to leave her. She sat behind me.

I'm not even sure how it happened, but somehow my head ended up on Hinata's chest. Her steady breathing a heartbeat like a subtle undertone to the soft song she was humming. Or maybe she was singing. I wasn't sure.

But it made me feel safe. I had the vague feeling of movement, and then I was set down on something soft. It had no heartbeat or breath, it wasn't Hinata. I felt something soft brush my cheeks as a soft kiss was placed on my forehead.

"Oyasumi, Toushiro, yasuraka Ni" her voice whispered into my ear as she pulled covers over me. I opened my eyes. And her pale lavender eyes shined back. Full to the brim with the same warm emotion whose name escaped me?

"Oyasumi, Nata" I mumbled before slipping into sleep.

"**Nata?" **Hyourinmaru raised his eyebrows.

"**I like it!" **he said unexpectedly. Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows.

"**Most people would probably give her the nickname of Hina, but Nata sounds much better in my opinion" **

'_Nata ain't a nickname, I was tired I messed up her name. That's all' I_ muttered defensively

"**But you like it don't you"** he said slyly, smirking whilst he said it.

'_I-I guess' I_ had never thought that Hinata's name could really be changed but Nata, really did fit her, I didn't like Hina much either, it seemed that it could belong to anybody, but Nata, seemed to be completely hers.

"**I'll leave you to dreamland Toushiro; it seems that your Nata-chan is very experienced in singing one into pleasant dreams" **

_**How'd you guys like the new version of this! I think this is much closer to the original one I wrote (and accidently deleted) so I hope you don't mind me replacing this. But anyways it's dictionary time!**_

_**Oyasumi: Good night**_

_**Yusuraka Ni: sleep well**_


	8. Shinigami Academy And Prying Roommates

_**Hey everybody! Happy (late) Saint. Patrick's day! I know not everyone celebrates it but oh well I do! I'm sorry about the somewhat late update, I was punished for a day and I had band-aids on both my thumbs on Sunday, which made it hard to type, I also obtained an Abarai Renji plush (squeal). But on a more pissed off note I took a social studies test (history to the rest of you) and she passed around a stapler because it was two double sided sheets me and others didn't get the stapler in time and went at the end of class to staple the test and the stapler broke and so she didn't take the our test, and when I say 'didn't take the test' I mean the test is still in my bag as in she's going to give us a zero on a test we took and most likely got right answers on. In short I was very much pissed beyond the most vulgar ranges of my vocabulary. Well this is the next chapter so I hope you like! And another thing there was a question and there was a quote from' Alice in wonderland 'and this is a test on the American Revolution! What the hell! But on a happier note thank you **__**WinterMission, iceblueangelfang, Kira Acumichi, and LunarLotus123**__** for reviewing and thanks also for alerting **_sassyanimegrl, Danimals21_**, LunarLotus123 (story and author**_)_** and thank you S**__**kye The Golden Dragon, LunarLotus123 (story and author again thanks so much!)**__** also for favoriting now the disclaimer that I've been forgetting lately, and today it's going to be done by me and Renji, and my Renji plush**_

_**Renji: Why am I doing this? **_

_**Tsukihime nee: because I have an effigy? * Holds up plushy**_

_**Rukia: that's not an effigy that's a plushy **_

_**Rukia: a really cute plushy! ***__**Squeals**__*** Can I hold! **_

_**Tskihime nee: sure, isn't he cute! **_

_***Both ogle over the plush getting weird stares from Ichigo and Renji***_

_**Rukia and Tsukihime nee: What? **_

_**Ichigo: is there a reason you're hugging a little stuffed animal version of Renji? **_

_**Rukia: Because it's cute! * Hugs Renji plush* **_

_**Ichigo: oh and by the way does Renji wear boxers or briefs, Ikakku wants to know for some kind of bet with Kempachi and Renji won't tell**_

_**Tsukihime nee: * looks up plush Renji's hakamana* well um apparently he's still in diapers**_

_**Renji: * blushing red as his hair* How in the fuck would you know what type of underwear I wear you perverted bitch! **_

_**Tsukihime nee: well the anime company that created all of you so I'm assuming the underwear is accurate **_

_*** Hands Renji the plush* **_

_**Renji: * looks up plush's hakamana* well damn. This thing wears diapers. I'm so decapitating whoever's idea of a joke this is! I don't wear diapers god damn it! And why the hell doesn't this thing have a nose and Zabimaru doesn't look like this either! * Glares at plush* **_

_**Rukia: can we get to the point?**_

_**Tsukihime nee: oh ya. The disclaimer. I don't own Bleach. Oh and LunarLotus123, this is dedicated to you to thank you for monumental encouragement.**_

_**All besides Tsukihime nee: THANK KAMI-SAMA YOU DON'T!!!**_

" Hyuuga-san! Wake up!" I opened my eyes to the hyperactive squeals of my roommate.

" Why you so hyper?" I muttered rubbing my eyes. She'd long gotten used to them. I'd made her swear not to tell as long as she her soul existed.

" Because the cutest ranked officer in all the gotei juu-san is coming to inspect the academy that's why!"

" I somehow doubt he's the cutest Rin-san"

" Fine then! If he's not the cutest then who is?" I debated the pros and cons of telling her. But when I thought about it she'd probably think that it was just a fan-girl fantasy. Not an actual attraction.

" Hitsugaya-taicho is" I replied evenly. I barely ever stuttered now. Only when I was embarrassed or nervous

" Him? He's kind of short. Oh that's right he's probably around your height so it doesn't matter." I got dressed knowing the sentence would never meet a period. She had a habit of trailing off, which is why like me she didn't many friends that and the orange rectangles on her cheeks that marked her as an Inuzuka. But at least she tried. I didn't. None of the people at this place seemed to compare to my old friends. Rin was my friend purely because I couldn't avoid her and she was just friendly. And I was her friend because before she died she was a Konoha Nin. I knew it because her surname was Inuzuka, same as Kiba. And her few memories involved Kakashi-sensei as well as a boy name Obito Uchiha. Both of which were her teammates from what I could tell.

" Ne Hyuuga-san?" she piped up

" Naniyo? (Sp?)"

" Why do ya hide your eyes?" she asked. She really was a kid at heart. I smiled sadly

" I don't really know. The shinigami who gave me my konsoul warned me that in the lower rukon I might be taken as an easy target because of my eyes, so I wore my hiate over them and after that I just never took it off I guess"

"I don't think that's the answer "

" And you'd be right, and I'm not about to tell you the real reason because I'm not in the mood for a sobbing confession" I retorted a painful cold creeping into my voice

" Tonight?" she asked hopefully. That was one of the things I liked about her. She knew when to just shut up and when to prod I smiled sadly pulling on my hiate

" Sure" Rin flashed a huge victory smile

" Now let's get going!" she called as she ran out the door simultaneously tying her shoulder length hair into pigtails. I opted to leave my hair in the braid I'd put it in before falling asleep tying back the two strands that were about a quarter inch longer then my hair and twisted them into a small bun using Ino's comb as well as Tenten's kunai disguised as a senbon with a simple genjustu to hold it in place. I ran out after Rin catching up quickly.

" How do you always catch up?"

" A lot of prac-"

_Smack_

" Ow!" Rin clutched her head, which had just had a violent meeting with the doorframe that led to the courtyard where Abarai-fukitaicho would be coming from. I kneeled down rolling my eyes. This happened pretty often. Rin was a bit of a klutz so running into things wasn't uncommon for her. I put up two fingers

" How many fingers am I holding up?"

" Umm. Hyuuga-san I'm a bit more interested in the birds that are flying around my head at the moment" she said looking at me with a look that said 'what the hell are you doing'

" The birds are more interesting huh?"

"You definitely need to see the nurse," I muttered lifting the most likely dizzy Rin to her feet.

" No way! I would usually follow your advice but not today!" she declared raising her fist a proud pout on her face. Seeming to be completely oblivious to the forming bruise on her forehead.

" Well at least let me heal your forehead. That bruise looks like it's going to be one hell of a shiner "

" You know Hyuuga-san You're really a lot like my mom!" she exclaimed. I smiled Rin rambled, her thoughts rolling off her tongue in random spurts. Very, very random spurts. In short she was the ultimate scatterbrain.

" I've always had to take care of someone" I replied simply

" **It's true Gaki-Chan, weather it be Neji, Hanabi, your mother, your teammates, or Naruto. You are always taking care of someone" **

I breathed deeply focusing my reistu into the basic healing Kido that I knew. I could see with my byakugan the damage slowly reversing until it was completely gone.

" You're all good now Rin-san" I said knocking Rin out of her obvious dreamland

" Huh?"

" Your foreheads healed," I repeated

" Oh. Thanks Hyuuga-san!" she called after once again running off towards the blue stoned courtyard where a large crowd had gathered. I didn't really see the point of it all. But then again, I didn't see the point of much besides training. I sorta missed it, being able to savor everything, but the sky causes tearing pain in my chest and my memories make it even worse. And pounding that tree until my hands bleed, being a better fighter. That's all that makes sense anymore. I hated myself for my stupid need to prove them wrong. No one else thinks about proving the person who killed them wrong. No one else is chained to a desire from life. No one else has to hide!

" **Hinata, no one else deals with what you do because no one else is like you. You hold to your life because it is your instinct. You tried to deny the fact that you were dead none of them were even in danger of becoming hollows they were your average pluses. . In all honesty you should've become a hollow, if Hitsugaya hadn't been there. You would be a hollow" **

' _A-a hollow?' _my thoughts echoed fearfully.

" **Hai. A hollow. You have so much regret, you need to learn to live Gaki-chan. I think that Rin can help you if you let her in" **

" Hinata-san! Oi! Wake up! Jeez and you yell at me about daydreaming"

" Hm?" I glanced at Rin who was currently trying to knock me out of my inner conversation.

" What were you thinking about anyways?"

"Nothing" I replied. My voice was even but that didn't fool Rin. She seemed to be able to read my emotions like Neji-nisan read gestures with his byakugan.

" You're a liar, you know that?"

" Maybe so, but I was a kunoichi (sp?) And that my friend is a trade filed with liars"

" Well I was too, but I'm not a liar"

" That's because you're different" I replied. She was different, she didn't remember much about being a kunoichi, and it was nothing but a persistent yet vague memory for her. For me it was a vivid nightmare that wouldn't go away.

" Hyuuga-san look! There he is!" Rin squealed pointing to a crimson haired man of strong build who had tribal style tattoos on his forehead. I felt my icy wall come in between me and everyone else I could sense. I could feel that stone block me off bottle me up and choke me. Tako Hasu vibrated just enough so I could feel it against my chest through my uniform. She hated that stone wall just a much as I did. But it was there to stay. It was Neji-Nisan's last gift to me. An unhealthy need to keep other personalities away from me, to keep them from hurting me as my family had. I had to act as if I didn't hear the whispers.

_What a stuck up girl! _

_She acts like she's not good enough for the rest of us! _

_What a weirdo! _

But I can hear them, and they're hacking my barriers away, stabbing my fragile heart. Destroyed by Tou-sama, Hanabi, and Neji-Nisan.

" Hyuuga-san! It's time for zanjutsu class! And guess what Abarai-fukitaicho is sitting in on it!" I followed Rin to our class in a heavy haze. I couldn't seem to find much of a reason to try to put on a smile like Naruto-kun always had, I could only see my sandals tapping against the wood floor, and I could only wonder when it would stop hurting, when those memories would go away.

" Hyuuga your up to spar" I lifted my head up my eyebrows raised. I hadn't been called to spar in a long time. Due to my military background as a Hyuuga and due to my own independent training I exceeded the academies standards for hakuda, which was like taijustu, as well a zanjustu, swordplay and since I ran so much I exceeded standards in hohou, or speed; as well,. I wasn't near the level of anyone in my class even though I had been advanced to the sixth year-advanced class. One of the reasons everyone sneered. They thought I'd bribed them to advance something or me. Even though I'd repeatedly beat everyone in my class at sparring, they still thought I hadn't earned being here. I stood up taking a boken as I went. Wondering whom the sensei wanted me to face. I looked up to see the crimson haired man from earlier

" H-huh? I'm facing Abarai-fukitaicho? Dem-"

" You're one of our brightest in this dojo, that's why. Just do it Hyuuga," the sensei said not even looking up from his notes

" Hai"

" Well then? Take your stance and begin" I slipped down into my Hyuuga stance my boken taking its place in my front hand my wrist automatically tilting sideways. I can see his gaze narrow slightly a tiny yet noticeable smile. He thought I'd be an easy opponent.

' _Don't write me off yet!' _sprang as soon as he put the slightest bit of weight on his leading foot, indicating that he was about to attack. My front arm extending from it's slightly bent position my shoulder following, the wooden boken slashing sideways

_Thwack _

Wood meeting wood as he blocked the initial blow.

The swinging of my arm giving me the forward momentum I needed to spin on the balls of my forward foot hoping to score a blow from behind that wasn't blocked

_Thwack _

No such luck. My boken again clashed with his without so much as a blink from him. I felt the familiar adrenaline pump through my veins, rushing to my mouth as a

" Hah!" of effort as I pulled back to my original stance, only to charge again with a running downward swing. This time he honored me with a bit of force behind his defending swing knocking me slightly backwards. I breathed a bit calculating his casual stance, looking for any hidden traps in the seeming harmless stance. I found none. And yet he was able to block all my attacks as if he knew exactly what I was going to do even before I'd thought of it myself

" **Well of course he's blocking your attacks without trouble, he's a fukitaicho for goodness sakes! You aren't even out of the academy yet, of course he's stronger bakka!" **

I took a deep breath and charged again, but this time before I could even register I was on the floor rolling.

'_God damn it! When'd he knock me down?' _

" **Gaki-chan give up, you've already proven yourself, don't over work yourself" **

' _No! I'm not going to give up! ' _I put my weight on to my left hand pushing up my body charging forward again. He wasn't on my level. Not even close. But I didn't care. I wasn't going to back down. Not again. Like I'd done so many times before, I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't going to repeat myself. Upward swipe since he's most likely expecting downward

_Thwack _

Still nothing. I'm not even paying attention as I normally did while training; paying attention to each strike I placed on that tree making sure each one was perfect. Now I was as good as blind. The only thing I could hear, or even think of was the

_Thwack_

_Thwack _

_Thwack _

Of the clashing boken. As he blocked each of my blows easily. I could feel all my pent up frustration, anger, and hurt, regret and love everything. Flowing though that wooden katana. And I didn't care anymore that we weren't an even match. I didn't care about winning. It was the same type of trance that I went when I ran. I could barely get out a squeak out my mouth when I was floored yet again. I let my body stop rolling this time noticing finally the aching pain in my arms especially in my left wrist as well as the fact that my fingers were becoming cramped from gripping the boken so tightly.

" Class is over, you did well Hyuuga," the sensei announced in a monotone. I stood up and bowed to both Abarai-Fukitaicho and to my sensei keeping silent since I hadn't one clue about what to say. I barely had gotten up before Rin tackled me with all the force of a charging bull knocking me over

" Rin! Was that really needed!?" I yelled though it got muffled slightly by the hardwood floors of the dojo.

" Of course! You crossed blades, well boken, but anyways you didn't get your ass kicked nearly as severely as you should have!" she cheered from her position on top me.

" Rin! I'm sore enough as is, get off"

" Fine, fine you're really cranky Hyuuga-san," she muttered getting off me. Helping me up as we began to walk to out next class, kido.

" A-ano Rin?"

" Naniyo Hyuuga-san?"

" Arigaoto." I muttered looking down a blush on my face

" What for? " she asked her voice filled with her childish curiosity

" For cheering me on"

" No problem! You earned it!" she flashed a large irresistible smile; Naruto-kun's smile and I couldn't help it. My lips stretched into a happy answering smile. Something I hadn't done in ages. And I missed it as soon as it was gone.

" What are ya standing there gawking for? Get that depressed ass of yours in gear!" She yelled already ahead of me. I ran after her. My heart felt so light. I remembered it slightly, from when I first took care of Hanabi. I remembered her smile. And I remember how'd I automatically smile back. Because it was my instinct

" I'm not depressed!" I yelled at her panting slightly from the exertion of

" Oh yes you are! Anyone who thanks someone for cheering for them when they did better then anyone else is definitely depressed" she stated a determined pout on her face.

" I didn't do any better, I've done nothing to deserve anything from you, " I stated in a monotone. The carefree heart falling like a brick. Each heavy beat pushing thick grief and hatred into my veins.

" Ahh! Hyuuga-san! How do you live with yourself! You've gotta give yourself a little bit of credit!" she frowned. As we both entered the wide-open spaces that were used for kido.

" And class I was told by you're zanjustu sensei to remind you all that you have a field mission tomorrow so bring your zanpakto as well as something to eat. Today we're going to go over ground rules, as well as the fighting techniques you are allowed to use" the sensei droned on about working in two man teams, and about how we were under no circumstances to release our zanpakto, even if it was in our realm of abilities. Rin tapped me on the shoulder. Bringing my attention to a folded note that was now on my open kido textbook. I opened it

' Hinata, can you make us ongiri for tomorrow? ' I nodded to her, as she smiled a dreamy look on her face.

" Inuzuka! Pay attention"

" Oh! Hai!" her head snapped up but minutes later she was back in dreamland. Her reistu flaring the slightest bit every so often.

" You're all dismissed" the kido sensei droned waving her hand.

" Rin, time to go"

" Really? I thought she was never going to shut up"

_**Well that's it for me! I've been working hard on this but life's gotten a bit crazy. (Just look at my first authors note) but I hope you like it! And yes I brought in Rin Inuzuka from the Kakashi gaiden arc. (I hope they make it into anime) so I hope you think I kept her in character okay, because I was a bit iffy on it.**_


	9. Screams And Hitsugaya's return part 1

_**Hey people! I'm so Sorry for the lateness I feel really bad about it because It was purely me being to lazy to write this time, but I did fix an suffix error in chapter three as well as extended it. And gave all the chapters names so I've only been having writers block with this particular chapter. That combined with an utter lack of motivation (not due to anyone but me as I said earlier I'm lazy) so for boosting my meager motivation I thank for reviewing for favoriting and all these peoples who alerted. You guys are all the best people in the world for supporting me for all these ten chapters! And so as a special Easter/Passover gift. I'm going to reveal all the pairings!**_

_**Ishida x Nemu**_

_**Hitsugaya x Hinata**_

_**Konohamaru x Hanabi**_

_**Udon x Mogei **_

_**Ichigo x Orihime**_

_**Renji x Rukia**_

_**Neji x Tenten**_

_**Those are the couples that will succeed in the end. Of course people waver so there will be some brief affections and such. (Like having a naruhina story in which Hinata dates Kiba for a time) ok authors note time is nearly over so that means… yup! You guessed it the disclaimer! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: ME NO OWN! KAPEESH! Hmm speaking of Kapeeshes. I want some food. I'm hungry. Oh shit. I'm turning into bakka-neesama. AHHH I don't want to be a bottomless pit! Even though I would love the metabolism**_

_**Inner Tsukihime nee: GET ON WITH THE STORY DAMNIT! YOU TOOK LONG ENOUGH**_

_**Tsukihim nee: h-h-h-h-h-hai inner-me-sama * cowers in corner * oh and by the way when I write **__**like this **__**it's telling setting or it will be a time skip and like **_**" this" is hollow speech**

_**That night in Rin and Hinata's dorm room Hinata's point of view**_

I sighed, trying my best not to look out the window that I was sitting by the shoji style window using the fading sunlight to read my kido textbook resting against my knees, which were in turn bent.

Today had been much more tiring as usual. I was still stiff and sore from my spar, and I'd fallen flat on my face during hoho thanks to my hakamana getting caught under my shoe. Earning a huge laughing fit from the entire class and nearly breaking my arm in the process.

The only part of my day that had gone smoothly was purchasing rice from the market. Yup, today was not my day. But strangely I felt much less angry and sad then I had in a long time. Now, now my chest seemed so hollow. Like their wasn't enough left to fill it anymore.

" Hyuuga-san! I told you to quit being depressed didn't I?" Rin's highly irritated voice broke through my thoughts

" I'm not depressed" I deadpanned back. Not the best idea.

" How do you expect me to believe that!? If you're going to lie at least do it convincingly!" she yelled angrily tears starting in her eyes. I felt my legs curl up to my chest as the sunset caught my eye; the sun was a blood red ball.

_Screams of pain are echoing all around. _

"_Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan what's the matter! "_

_"Nata-Chibi it's the baby, It's coming" she groaned dropping on to my futon. And the next sight I would never forget. Blood. Never in the five years of life that I had. Had I ever seen blood spurt like that. Of course I'd seen blood. I saw Hyuuga ninja's come in with cuts and I had cleaned up plenty of Neji's cuts. The way it spurted it reminded me of fire works, bright red fireworks. _

" _Kaa-chan! " she screamed in pain in response the front of her white yukata already crimson with blood. I ran out stumbling as my clumsy feet got in each other's ways. I ran towards the medical part of the compound where all the medics of the Hyuuga stayed _

" _Hinata-sama what's wrong?" one of the medics asked confused by the uncharacteristic look I was wearing. _

" _I-" I panted _

" _It's Kaa-chan, th-" pant _

" _Baby" the medic understood running with me back to my room her screams of pain echoing the bed sheets were stained with blood. I never thought so much blood could be in one person. _

" _Haruka-sama, push!" the medic was talking to my mother but I couldn't understand a word that the medic was saying. An ear splitting shriek pierced my ears. Hours of screaming. Hours of blood. And then only the cries of my new dark red stained little sister who had yet to be named. _

" _Nata" Kaa-chan whispered_

" _N-naniyo? Kaa-chan?" _

" _Come" she whispered beckoning me with her free arm that wasn't holding the blood covered crying bundle that was my new little sister_

" _H-hai" I walked closer to her kneeling beside my bed_

" _Nata" she took a breath. Her voice was so quiet. I could barely register it when Tou-sama walked into the room saying loud angry words that I couldn't understand. Nearly drowning out her words but over him I could just hear_

" _Nata what is her name?" _

" _What? You don't know the name? But you're her Kaa-chan" _

" _Nata; you give her a name that you like at suits her." _

" _But why?" _

" _Because you're the one who's going to be saying her name for the rest of your life not me" her eyes were barely smoldering. Barely holding on_

" _Kaa-chan! Don't say that! You're not dead! You're not going to leave me are you? Kaa-chan!" I cried hysterically _

"_Nata, name her please, while I can still hear." _

'_Fireworks, you came into the world with fireworks, so you. You're going to be Hanabi, which means fireworks' _

" _Hanabi" I stated _

" _H-her name is Hanabi" Kaa-chan smiled as her eyes drained the last of their emotion. The purple tinted orbs looking oddly blank, not happy, not even the bitter love that I'd been seeing during her pregnancy. _

" _Kaa-chan?" I whispered fear keeping my voice tiny. I felt my hand reach out and touch her forehead, it's still warm but the skin isn't alive anymore the muscles aren't responding. This isn't my kaa-chan. It looks like her yes. But she's not here anymore. _

" _Kaa-chan!" I yelled panic seizing my entire being. I shook her shoulder tears starting in my eyes. _

" _She's dead, can't you even tell that you worthless flesh bag?" I just sobbed in response. Hanabi's crying echoing in unison with my own. I took the bloody bundle and cradled her awkwardly. _

" _What is it?" Tou-sama asked coldly _

" _I-i-i-it's a girl. Her n-n-name is Hanabi" I managed through my tears as I rocked the little child in my arms. _

" Hey! Hinata! Hinata? Come on snap out of it! I'm sorry okay!" I opened my eyes even though I couldn't remember closing them in the first place. I looked away from the fading sunset.

" There isn't a need for you to be sorry. You didn't do anything," I stated somberly

" Didn't do anything! I say something, you look away and start crying and I didn't do anything!"

" I was crying?"

" Want to talk about it?"

" There isn't anything to say"

" Oh yes there is! Now then Hinata-chan you said this morning that you'd tell me why you hid your eyes so fess up!" she said determinedly. I shrunk in a bit. She was most likely just going to take my heart and shred it up all over again. I can't help the instinct. After all how can one help common sense?

" Well?" She had moved so that she was in front of me. Lying on her stomach her head propped up on her hands, in the classic on the phone listening to someone vent position. And somehow, it brought me a slight amount of comfort. To know that she was listening.

No one else ever really had. After all I was Hinata, the shy girl who has a crush on Naruto. She's a heiress of course she can't have problems.

God. How I wish Toushiro were here. He wouldn't even need me to say anything. He'd just hug me and let me cry. I felt my toes curl up.

The muscles tensing as a reaction to the painful hole in my heart that all of my memories caused. I missed it. The emptiness I mean, it's a lot less painful then this, Strangely peaceful. Not happy, but at least it's not sad anymore. But I guess that it's a bit too late for that. Oh well. I could deal with it. I always have.

" Well you going to say something or am I waiting for hell to freeze over?"

" Rin, what did I do?" I asked quietly

' _What did I do to deserve all this hate. All of these ill feelings. I've never talked to any of them. Why didn't they give me a chance? Why?'_

" Well the answer isn't exactly all that clear Hinata, my first guess would be jealousy"

" J-j-jealousy? But how could anyone be jealous of a worthless weak-"

" You're not worthless nor weak Hinata! You're super strong and kind and most of all you always put others before yourself!" Rin's eyes blazed angrily. As she sat up

" Hinata. I'll say this again" she continued unusually serious.

" Give yourself a bit of credit. You are strong. Not like you could lift a hundred pounds if you tried or anything, but you are strong. In your own way" she gripped my shoulders

"R-Rin?"

" G-gomen" I whispered

" For what?" Rin asked, back to her curious, innocent self

" For troubling you with my feelings" I whispered. My legs and feet squeezing ever closer to my body

" Huh? It wasn't any trouble. I can see why you hide your eyes now"

"You do?"

" Ya, I do. You hide them so they don't have another reason to dislike you"

" I guess that's mostly it. But I also don't want their pity; they'd think that I was blind if they saw my eyes. I'm not blind and I won't be treated as such either," I said angrily. I've had enough pity from Baa-chan, from Momo as well

" Hinata?" Rin's voice priced through my thoughts yet again

" Can I play with your hair?" her ability to ask me the strangest questions out of the blue never ceased. I felt a smile, however small creep across my face

" Sure Rin" I felt my smile grow even more. Letting the comfort from the familiar feeling of her hands moving through my hair. The same motions I know that I did so often with my kaa-chan's long hair whose shade of midnight blue my own tresses mimicked.

I felt my eyes drift closed. I know it's been hours at least since I had last said a word, but strangely I was happy with that, not even that emptiness from earlier, but I felt truly happy for the first time, for the first time since I'd watched Toushiro walk away down that road. Confident that I would see him again.

' _Toushiro, I wonder if he even remembers me.' _

" **I should hope so, I mean you two did kiss you know"**

' _I know, but I can't help but remember, that all the other times I've loved, that it's been one sided' _

" **Rin's right you do need to give yourself a bit more credit" **

' _I somehow doubt that a taicho class shinigami noticed a plain ostracized girl that he happened to run into twice. If you think about it, not that likely' _

" Hinata you can sleep if you want to" I nodded dumbly not really registering her words. I dimly heard Rin yawn and remind me of tomorrows field mission. But I barely heard her as I drifted into sleep against the window frame. Letting the stiff black of exhaustion take me over.

At least until sunrise, when stiff yellow rays pierced my eyelids, I groaned softly at all the kinks in my various joints that came from falling asleep sitting up. I twisted from my waist feeling a degree of stiffness leave my spine as the vertebrae cracked, I groaned a bit more as soreness settled into my joints as I in turn stretched them all.

I yawned shaking off the sleep that I so desperately wanted. I had things to do today. It wasn't the time to yield to things like tiredness. I quickly crossed the room where I had left the rice that I had purchased yesterday. Shaping the rice into triangles for dogs and myself for Rin.

" Oh, you're up?" Rin sleepily chimed, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

" Is that breakfast?" She questioned excitedly upon seeing the ongiri that I had just finished making

" Lunch"

" Aw! But they look so tasty! How could you starve me like this Hinata!" She exclaimed anime style tears running down her face. I looked at the small amount of leftover rice, just enough for one ongiri for Rin as well as one for myself. I quietly molded the rice into a dog leaving some rice for my own breakfast.

" Here" I tossed the ongiri to Rin, which she immediately began to stuff into her mouth.

" Were you really that hungry Rin?"

" Not really"

" Then why'd you eat so fast?"

" I wanted to" I sighed I never would understand her. I tied my hair into a ponytail whose ends barely touched the nape of my neck, letting the two stands that had always framed my face in life hang in there old position before snarfing down my ongiri in a similar manner. Swallowing loudly.

I grabbed Tako Hasu; I poisoned her so the guard rested on my shoulder and the blade rested over my heart. Like how Toushiro wore Hyourinmaru, except she wasn't on my back, but on my chest, she insisted on this.

Saying that my heart should be guarded by something so why should she not do it? I wrapped the cloth around top of the sheathe just below the guard, I put a lavender strip of cloth that I had found. (Like the one Toushiro uses to hold Hyourinmaru) over my shoulder on to my back before wrapping it around my hips the tip of the navy sheathe resting on my hip.

" And you scold me about eating fast" Rin muttered to herself as we both walked out the door towards the blue tiled top of a building where we were organized into two man teams, me and Rin of course were on the same team.

After all nobody else would work with us, we were too strange. We weren't one of them, we were different; and they lumped the two loners together, just for the comfort of everyone else.

I didn't mind that much though; Rin was far closer to me in power level then anyone else in our class. And I know I don't brag, but it's not exactly bragging. There's a reason I was skipped ahead to the advanced sixth year class instead of going through the entire process of the six years of academy I was being put through about a year in total.

" Okay everyone! Go through the portal!" I ran along with everyone else me and Rin both were ahead of the group behind only the sensei's who were leading us. Leading us to an abandoned construction site, just outside of a human town. It was rather beautiful, and I could just see a river on the horizon, only a couple miles away.

" Okay everyone I'm sure your teacher spoke to you about all the ground rules. You are to kill the dummy hollows as a training exercise. Understood"

" Hai!" I chorused with the class, me and Rin and I quickly going off in a different direction then the rest of the class

" Okay Hinata! Coast is clear you can use it now!"

" Not so loud! Do you want everyone know about the byakugan?" I whispered harshly.

" They won't hear us, now take that hiate of yours off and use it" she replied much more relaxed then I could get myself be at the moment. Something was off. I didn't sense anything but something in the pit of my stomach was pitching and rolling in a way that made me think otherwise.

" Come on what's wrong with you? Sense something?" Rin said exasperated

" N-no I-it's nothing" I replied uneasily, I untied my hiate and put more reistu into my byakugan making it more effective scanning the surrounding area. A couple hollow dummies crossed my vision; no one was in that area so it would be the best place to start.

" There are some hollow dummies to the east from here"

" Damn Hinata, you're quick"

" Not that quick. You forget my byakugan is activated to a degree almost all the time. So all I needed to do was increase the reistu flow"

" You lost me at not" Rin muttered rubbing her head in confusion, I sighed and rolled my eyes.

" Just follow me" I smiled. Running as fast I could, letting the wind and thumps of my feet comfort the uneasiness that I felt. I could see the hollow dummies and I could feel Rin's reistu behind me.

And again I felt the beautiful happiness course through my veins it was a slow crawling feeling, but it made my heart fly like a bird. And I loved it. I stopped when I was a proper distance from two hollow dummies for attacking it. I Waited for Rin to get there as well before I slipped into my stance grabbing Tako Hasu's hilt but not yet drawing her. A small, but genuine smile crossing my face.

" Zanjustu?" she asked. She was of course referring to what type of technique that I was going to use.

" Yup, you?"

" Same" she smirked drawing her sword, the blade and it's wolf carvings glinting in the sunlight. I felt my smile grow wider as I felt Tako Hasu's sheathe disappear for just enough time for me to get the sword out and ready for battle. I looked up to see the hollow dummy starting to come towards me. I ran forward letting the sharp side of my zanpakto point upwards towards the mask. I automatically felt instructions go through my head

' _Run forward' _

' _Have sharp side pointing up' _

' _Jump' _

'_Put a little more strength into the blade so that you don't loose momentum' _

' _Once you're half ways through the mask put a bit more strength into it so that you have upward momentum'_

' _Use the upward momentum so back flips'_

'_Land' _I smiled with satisfaction as I heard my shoes tap one after another on to the ground. I put Tako Hasu into her sheathe

" Hinata were you a dancer in life or something?" Rin asked having finished off her dummy as well.

" No" I looked at her, confusion painting itself clearly on my face even with my eyes not showing, had she really forgotten that I was a kunoichi, just like her?

" Oh don't give me that look, I know you were a kunoichi, I just like teasing you" she snickered. But despite that I felt a pitching rolling feeling in my stomach again.

" Hinata? You okay, you look, well uh not normal"

" I don't know why, but something's off. Something isn't right. I can feel it in my gut. I know it sounds weird, but it's true"

" Hinata?" Rin replied slowly deliberately. A small amount of fear in her voice

" Please tell me that thing behind you is a dummy" she squeaked. Her zanpakto trembling in time with her form. I slowly turned my head towards the hollow that I knew was behind me.

' _How could I not sense that! '_

" **You did sense it, you just didn't know what to make of it. You've never felt a hollows reistu until now" **

" Well, this will be a great training exercise!" I said trying to cover my fear with the joking comment

" We can take it down! Just like the dummies!" I said trying my best to keep my voice even, but it wasn't working. My voice was still afraid.

" **What a wonderful meal you two will make!" **the hollow snickered, it's voice laden with sick joy. The type that made sent shivers down your spine, and made your stomach perform more acrobatic routines then an entire circus. But at the same mad you irrationally angry

" I'm nobodies meal!" I screamed at the four-legged hollow rushing forward without thinking about what I would do once I got to the hollow, I hadn't even drawn Tako Hasu. But the hollow made the decision for me. Swatting me out of the way before I could even think, knocking off my hiate judging by the dull clatter that I heard. I felt the oh so familiar sensation of rolling on the ground feeling all the air leave my lungs.

' _Get up!' _my father is yelling at me again.I again put pressure on my hand boosting my body back up, into a wall. My ponytail unraveled leaving it in my face

"Hinata!" I can barely hear Rin yell my name. Her shoes making their desperate slaps on the ground. I try desperately to move something. Anything, just to tell her I'm alive and conscious. I manage to turn my head up, and work on putting more reistu into my byakugan seeing if either of us were injured thankfully nothing to serious only bruises

" I'm fine" I managed my voice coming out like a raspy high-pitched thing before it disappeared into coughs. I felt a shiver go down my spine as the hollow let off a low growl. Careful not to alert anyone so that it's meal would be secure.

" **Now your little friend is mine!"** I could see the hollow's claws racing towards me but I was unable to move. I could see it now. All my blood leaking out of me as it's claw pins me to the wall my eyes exactly like Kaa-chan's blank and dead, I hated to make Rin see that, it would surely haunt her, for a bit anyways, I wouldn't remain in her memories for long I was after all, weak and worthless. I felt a couple tears escape my eyes

'_Even in the end, I'm just a weak thing that gets in the _way' I looked at the hollow. I looked up. Looking the hollow straight in the eye.

" Hinata No!" I blinked slowly trying to erase the scene in front of me. Rin covered in blood, her own blood. And I was covered in it too. Sticky, warm, crimson life splattered all over my face hands and body, and not even the tears that were coursing down my face cold wash it away. Rin with the claw that was supposed to pierce my flesh, through her body.

"No" I felt the harsh pained whisper escape my throat

" This wasn't supposed to happen" I felt my voice growing in volume

" I-I was the one who-who was supposed to die" I felt sobs choking my voice into oblivion.

" No"

" Rin"

" Rin"

" Rin!" I surprised even myself with the bloodcurdling scream that escaped my throat. I could barely recognize it. I could barely hear Rin's name in it either.

" **Now you've done it! Stupid gaki! You've alerted all the shinigami in the area!" **the hollow snarled throwing Rin's limp body to the ground more of the crimson liquid splattering all around.

I felt my reistu flow unrestrained through all my being, hot rage coursing through my veins. I stood up keeping my head down feeling the crawling icy power that had mystified me creep out of my body. Like thick, red, blood easing it's way from Rin's body. I lifted my head, my reistu bursting forward like the blood from Hanabi's birth.

" **You have wonderful reistu, Gaki, just the bits that have saturated into the air is some of the best stuff I've tasted" **the hollow made a sound that could only be approximated to a purr as it licked it's lips in anticipation.

More rage. More rage then I even though I was capable of feeling towards one being at one point in time. I drew Tako Hasu not even bothering to wait for the sheathe to disappear, causing the blade to make a slit in my skin from the corner of my jaw to my cheekbone. The blood dripping down my chin like the tears I was currently shedding.

Staining the white parts of my uniform a nasty crimson. Darker then the red of the uniform. I could bare restrain myself from charging, for I knew that such a straightforward method would end my life, well afterlife. But I knew that I would only be able to restrain myself for so long. My reistu, my own hatred and rage, were becoming too much.

" **Are you just going to stand in that stange little stance of yours or are you going to do something? Because if the first one is true I would really love to get on with my meal" **the hollows tone was bored, impatient maybe. But I still knew, something happened to this soul to make it the monster it was. I felt my grip on Tako Hasu tighten.

' _What am I going to do! This thing is stronger then me! I couldn't hope to face it head on!' _

" **Gaki-chan, you have to use your shikai" **

' _Demo, I don't know-' _

" **It doesn't matter. I'll tell you how and you'll repeat it. Okay? you are going to live through this no matter what. Understand that?" **I managed a small nod. Tako Hasu nodded in response. Taking a deep breath. I whispered the phrase I knew would awaken her powers

"Imi o torimasu, Tako Hasu"

"**Okay, put your sword away. It's just going to get in the way." **I obeyed her. Knowing that I had no options left. I let my only defense dissolve into it's sheathe.

" **So you've decided to give up?" **

" **Focus your reistu into your right hand. Let it take the form of a kunai." **I took a deep breath feeling my formally uncontrolled reistu do as I bid it. I gripped the icy weapon like the lifeline I knew it was.

" **Now repeat after me" **

" **Tie em' up" **

" T-t-tie em' up" I echoed unsurely. Readying myself to throw the kunai. This was my move. I knew what to do.

"**saisho no riri su ha juu tora **_( first release: ten tigers)_**"**

"saisho no riri su ha juu tora! (_First Release: Ten Tigers)_" I yelled throwing the kunai towards the front left ankle of the best. Hoping to the Kami that I hoped existed. I wanted to see Toushiro again. I managed a slight smile of satisfaction when I heard the hollow yell out, as it's front feet like appendages were tied together bound by my ice.

" **Now let's get out of here before that thing breaks the ice" **I nodded slightly. Hesitating only to grab Rin's body as well as my hiate. I grimaced as her blood began to seep into my uniform, caressing my skin in a way that felt not unlike warm water.

'_Rin, please don't let go. I don't know what I'd do without you there to cheer me on, I'm sorry that I was so cold. That I didn't acknowledge you' _More tears began to burn at my eyes blurring my vision. I could just barely see an alleyway into which I ducked into laying Rin's body onto the ground

" Rin?" I questioned softly

" You still there?" my voice cracked tears flowing in more volume down my face. But the cut on my face was a merely trickling blood now.

" H-Hina Hina-Hinata" her voice was raspy and pain filled

" Rin" my voice filled with relief

" I-I'm not going to be, " she groaned in pain

" A-round for long" she panted. I felt the solid fear and panic that had seized me just before my Kaa-chan died rise through me

" Rin, no. no no no no. Gomensai, you wouldn't be like this if you hadn't protected me demo. Please don't leave, I-I-I I need you"

" Please don't apologize to me with that look on your face, I protected you because it'd be a waste for you not to become a shinigami. You-" she coughed up some more blood before continuing

" You are much more powerful then anybody. It's just a matter of time before you realize that power. Y-you have the potential to have Taicho class reistu, probably more" I barely heard her words, but I could see that she was fading. And fast.

I had to keep her alive. I couldn't let her die. I took a deep breath trying to focus past my fear. Like a kunoichi as well as a shinigami should be able to. I knew I wouldn't be able to heal the injury completely, but I could keep her alive, at least for a little while couldn't I?

" **Hinata. She doesn't have much time left. Healing kido or not, she's given up" **

'_No! I won't let her die! I won't! '_

" **As determined as you are. Even though your kido is healing her. She hasn't the will to live anymore. She has resigned herself to death. There is nothing you can do" **

" Hinata, don't waste your energy, I'm going home" Rin rasped her words nearly all breath. Her eyes fading.

" W-w-w-w-what d-d-do y-you mean? "

" I mean what I said. I'm going to Konoha."

"Goodbye Hinata, be strong for the both of us Kay?" I could barely manage to nod as sobs took over my body

" Gomen Rin, I failed" I whispered the small words crushed by my tears

" You didn't fail, please Hinata, whatever you do. Never say that again. Can you promise me that?"

" I-I can try" I sniffed knowing all to well what was going to happen next. Her spiritual pressure would extinguish completely and her eyes, her bright happy eyes. Would go dead and blank. Just like Kaa-Chans. I'm glad I closed my eyes before I died. I'm glad Naruto didn't have to see my Hyuuga eyes devoid of all emotion. Because no matter what you do. Nothing will ever erase the memory of dead eyes.

" **So this is where you were hiding, Shinigami-Chibi" **I felt my tears freeze in my throat. I could barely get my muscles to respond after I managed to get Tako Hasu into my trembling hands. My heart stopped. Everything stopped. My heart, my breath, my tears, my emotions. Nothing but fear existed choking my existence. Only one thought crossed my head.

'_I'm going to die' _

" **You going to do something Shinigami-Chibi?" **I suppose he took my stillness as a no

" **Oh, I was sorta hoping for a good fight from you, oh well. A meal is a meal either way. " **I was still frozen. I felt a more familiar presence coming closer, but I was too muddled to find out the reason for the familiarity. I felt the hollow's hand close around my throat. I felt my muscles kick into gear but soon enough I had no strength left.

I had no oxygen left.

I had no life left.

I had no heart left.

I had no friends left

I had no family left.

It was all gone. Nothing was left.

I try to open my eyes, so that they won't forever be a secret. So that someone will remember me. If only for my dead, blank, lavender tinted eyes. I could barely hear the clatter as Tako Hasu slipped from my hands. My last symbol of defeat. I looked up, and I can barely make out, a mass of sliver and white a line of dark purple and two dashes of green. Cold. It's so cold.

'_Why do I feel so cold? I can't feel cold. '_My brain made one last attempt at thought.I no longer felt cold; having an ice type zanpakto cured me of that. So why, was I so cold? I wasn't dead. That cold was so much different. In fact.

My thoughts were clearing

My vision was clearing.

I could feel again.

I could breath again. And on doing so I began to cough, wet hacking coughs that were tearing through my throat. That made me feel like I was choking all over again. But even through that. I could feel the hollow's reistu dissipate. It was dead. I looked up. Wondering who had saved me. Who had put aside their hate and had helped me. And I felt my breath catch in my throat. It was

Him. The one that I had found that I loved.

Hitsugaya Toushiro. I felt my voice bubble out without command.

" H-H-Hitsu-gaya, t-taicho" shock making itself clear in my voice. I got on to my knee's my fist curling over my chest as I stared in amazement. Hyourinmaru's shining blade captivating me as it traveled into it's sheathe.

" You okay, gaki?" the fact that his voice was freezing didn't even matter to me. The fact that the person that I had wished to see for so long was in front of me kept the hurt from the icy spears that his voice would've caused when I first met him down. Of course he couldn't say my name. We shouldn't have met.

"H-h-h-hai" I spoke clearly now.

_**Yup! That's it! I know terrible cliffy but oh well! I'm super happy with this! It's 6,425 words long! This is the longest I've ever written! And I hope that this was worth the wait. And if it wasn't. Well my apologies. I really didn't mean to take this long. **_


	10. Screams And Hitsugaya's return part 2

_**Hey people! I'm so Sorry for the lateness I feel really bad about it because It was purely me being to lazy to write this time, but I did fix an suffix error in chapter three as well as extended it. And gave all the chapters names so I've only been having writers block with this particular chapter. That combined with an utter lack of motivation (not due to anyone but me as I said earlier I'm lazy) so for boosting my meager motivation I thank for reviewing for favoriting and all these peoples who alerted. You guys are all the best people in the world for supporting me for all these ten chapters! And so as a special Easter/Passover gift. I'm going to reveal all the pairings!**_

_**Ishida x Nemu**_

_**Hitsugaya x Hinata**_

_**Konohamaru x Hanabi**_

_**Udon x Mogei **_

_**Ichigo x Orihime**_

_**Renji x Rukia**_

_**Neji x Tenten**_

_**Those are the couples that will succeed in the end. Of course people waver so there will be some brief affections and such. (Like having a naruhina story in which Hinata dates Kiba for a time) ok authors note time is nearly over so that means… yup! You guessed it the disclaimer! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: ME NO OWN! KAPEESH! Hmm speaking of Kapeeshes. I want some food. I'm hungry. Oh shit. I'm turning into bakka-neesama. AHHH I don't want to be a bottomless pit! Even though I would love the metabolism**_

_**Inner Tsukihime nee: GET ON WITH THE STORY DAMNIT! YOU TOOK LONG ENOUGH**_

_**Tsukihim nee: h-h-h-h-h-hai inner-me-sama * cowers in corner * oh and by the way when I write **__**like this **__**it's telling setting or it will be a time skip and like **_**" this" is hollow speech**

_**That night in Rin and Hinata's dorm room Hinata's point of view**_

I sighed, trying my best not to look out the window that I was sitting by the shoji style window using the fading sunlight to read my kido textbook resting against my knees, which were in turn bent. Today had been much more tiring as usual. I was still stiff and sore from my spar, and I'd fallen flat on my face during hoho thanks to my hakamana getting caught under my shoe. Earning a huge laughing fit from the entire class and nearly breaking my arm in the process, the only part of my day that had gone smoothly was purchasing rice from the market. Yup, today was not my day. But strangely I felt much less angry and sad then I had in a long time. Now, now my chest seemed so hollow. Like their wasn't enough left to fill it anymore.

" Hyuuga-san! I told you to quit being depressed didn't I?" Rin's highly irritated voice broke through my thoughts

" I'm not depressed" I deadpanned back. Not the best idea.

" How do you expect me to believe that!? If you're going to lie at least do it convincingly!" she yelled angrily tears starting in her eyes. I felt my legs curl up to my chest as the sunset caught my eye; the sun was a blood red ball.

_Screams of pain are echoing all around. _

"_Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan what's the matter! _

" _Hinata-chan it's the baby, It's coming" she groaned dropping on to my futon. And the next sight I would never forget. Blood. Never in the five years of life that I had. Had I ever seen blood spurt like that. Of course I'd seen blood. I saw Hyuuga ninja's come in with cuts and I had cleaned up plenty of Neji's cuts. The way it spurted it reminded me of fire works, bright red fireworks. _

" _Kaa-chan! " she screamed in pain in response the front of her white yukata already crimson with blood. I ran out stumbling as my clumsy feet got in each other's ways. I ran towards the medical part of the compound where all the medics of the Hyuuga stayed _

" _Hinata-sama what's wrong?" one of the medics asked confused by the uncharacteristic look I was wearing. _

" _I-" I panted _

" _It's Kaa-chan, th-" pant _

" _Baby" the medic understood running with me back to my room her screams of pain echoing the bed sheets were stained with blood. I never thought so much blood could be in one person. _

" _Haruka-sama, push!" the medic was talking to my mother but I couldn't understand a word that the medic was saying. An ear splitting shriek pierced my ears. Hours of screaming. Hours of blood. And then only the cries of my new dark red stained little sister who had yet to be named. _

" _Hinata-chan" Kaa-chan whispered_

" _N-naniyo? Kaa-chan?" _

" _Come" she whispered beckoning me with her free arm that wasn't holding the blood covered crying bundle that was my new little sister_

" _H-hai" I walked closer to her kneeling beside my bed_

" _Hinata-chan" she took a breath. Her voice was so quiet. I could barely register it when Tou-sama walked into the room saying loud angry words that I couldn't understand. Nearly drowning out her words but over him I could just hear_

" _Hinata-chan what is her name?" _

" _What? You don't know the name? But you're her Kaa-chan" _

" _Hinata; you give her a name that you like at suits her." _

" _But why?" _

" _Because you're the one who's going to be saying her name for the rest of your life not me" her eyes were barely smoldering. Barely holding on_

" _Kaa-chan! Don't say that! You're not dead! You're not going to leave me are you? Kaa-chan!" I cried hysterically _

" _Hinata-chan, name her please, while I can still hear." _

'_Fireworks, you came into the world with fireworks, so you. You're going to be Hanabi, which means fireworks' _

" _Hanabi" I stated _

" _H-her name is Hanabi" Kaa-chan smiled as her eyes drained the last of their emotion. The purple tinted orbs looking oddly blank, not happy, not even the bitter love that I'd been seeing during her pregnancy. _

" _Kaa-chan?" I whispered fear keeping my voice tiny. I felt my hand reach out and touch her forehead, it's still warm but the skin isn't alive anymore the muscles aren't responding. This isn't my kaa-chan. It looks like her yes. But she's not here anymore. _

" _Kaa-chan!" I yelled panic seizing my entire being. I shook her shoulder tears starting in my eyes. _

" _She's dead, can't you even tell that you worthless flesh bag?" I just sobbed in response. Hanabi's crying echoing in unison with my own. I took the bloody bundle and cradled her awkwardly. _

" _What is it?" Tou-sama asked coldly _

" _I-i-i-it's a girl. Her n-n-name is Hanabi" I managed through my tears as I rocked the little child in my arms. _

" Hey! Hinata! Hinata? Come on snap out of it! I'm sorry okay!" I opened my eyes even though I couldn't remember closing them in the first place. I looked away from the fading sunset.

" There isn't a need for you to be sorry. You didn't do anything," I stated somberly

" Didn't do anything! I say something, you look away and start crying and I didn't do anything!"

" I was crying?"

" Want to talk about it?"

" There isn't anything to say"

" Oh yes there is! Now then Hinata-chan you said this morning that you'd tell me why you hid your eyes so fess up!" she said determinedly. I shrunk in a bit. She was most likely just going to take my heart and shred it up all over again. I can't help the instinct. After all how can one help common sense?

" Well?" She had moved so that she was in front of me. Lying on her stomach her head propped up on her hands, in the classic on the phone listening to someone vent position. And somehow, it brought me a slight amount of comfort. To know that she was listening. No one else ever really had. After all I was Hinata, the shy girl who has a crush on Naruto. She's a heiress of course she can't have problems. God. How I wish Toushiro were here. He wouldn't even need me to say anything. He'd just hug me and let me cry. I felt my toes curl up. The muscles tensing as a reaction to the painful hole in my heart that all of my memories caused. I missed it. The emptiness I mean, it's a lot less painful then this, Strangely peaceful. Not happy, but at least it's not sad anymore. But I guess that it's a bit too late for that. Oh well. I could deal with it. I always have.

" Well you going to say something or am I waiting for hell to freeze over?"

" Rin, what did I do?" I asked quietly

' _What did I do to deserve all this hate. All of these ill feelings. I've never talked to any of them. Why didn't they give me a chance? Why?'_

" Well the answer isn't exactly all that clear Hinata, my first guess would be jealousy"

" J-j-jealousy? But how could anyone be jealous of a worthless weak-"

" You're not worthless nor weak Hinata! You're super strong and kind and most of all you always put others before yourself!" Rin's eyes blazed angrily. As she sat up

" Hinata. I'll say this again" she continued unusually serious.

" Give yourself a bit of credit. You are strong. Not like you could lift a hundred pounds if you tried or anything, but you are strong. In your own way" she gripped my shoulders

"R-Rin?"

" G-gomen" I whispered

" For what?" Rin asked, back to her curious, innocent self

" For troubling you with my feelings" I whispered. My legs and feet squeezing ever closer to my body

" Huh? It wasn't any trouble. I can see why you hide your eyes now"

"You do?"

" Ya, I do. You hide them so they don't have another reason to dislike you"

" I guess that's mostly it. But I also don't want their pity; they'd think that I was blind if they saw my eyes. I'm not blind and I won't be treated as such either," I said angrily. I've had enough pity from Baa-chan, from Momo as well

" Hinata?" Rin's voice priced through my thoughts yet again

" Can I play with your hair?" her ability to ask me the strangest questions out of the blue never ceased. I felt a smile, however small creep across my face

" Sure Rin" I felt my smile grow even more. Letting the comfort from the familiar feeling of her hands moving through my hair. The same motions I know that I did so often with my kaa-chan's long hair whose shade of midnight blue my own tresses mimicked. I felt my eyes drift closed. I know it's been hours at least since I had last said a word, but strangely I was happy with that, not even that emptiness from earlier, but I felt truly happy for the first time, for the first time since I'd watched Toushiro walk away down that road. Confident that I would see him again.

' _Toushiro, I wonder if he even remembers me.' _

" **I should hope so, I mean you two did kiss you know"**

' _I know, but I can't help but remember, that all the other times I've loved, that it's been one sided' _

" **Rin's right you do need to give yourself a bit more credit" **

' _I somehow doubt that a taicho class shinigami noticed a plain ostracized girl that he happened to run into twice. If you think about it, not that likely' _

" Hinata you can sleep if you want to" I nodded dumbly not really registering her words. I dimly heard Rin yawn and remind me of tomorrows field mission. But I barely heard her as I drifted into sleep against the window frame. Letting the stiff black of exhaustion take me over. At least until sunrise, when stiff yellow rays pierced my eyelids, I groaned softly at all the kinks in my various joints that came from falling asleep sitting up. I twisted from my waist feeling a degree of stiffness leave my spine as the vertebrae cracked, I groaned a bit more as soreness settled into my joints as I in turn stretched them all. I yawned shaking off the sleep that I so desperately wanted. I had things to do today. It wasn't the time to yield to things like tiredness. I quickly crossed the room where I had left the rice that I had purchased yesterday. Shaping the rice into triangles for dogs and myself for Rin.

" Oh, you're up?" Rin sleepily chimed, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

" Is that breakfast?" She questioned excitedly upon seeing the ongiri that I had just finished making

" Lunch"

" Aw! But they look so tasty! How could you starve me like this Hinata!" She exclaimed anime style tears running down her face. I looked at the small amount of leftover rice, just enough for one ongiri for Rin as well as one for myself. I quietly molded the rice into a dog leaving some rice for my own breakfast.

" Here" I tossed the ongiri to Rin, which she immediately began to stuff into her mouth.

" Were you really that hungry Rin?"

" Not really"

" Then why'd you eat so fast?"

" I wanted to" I sighed I never would understand her. I tied my hair into a ponytail whose ends barely touched the nape of my neck, letting the two stands that had always framed my face in life hang in there old position before snarfing down my ongiri in a similar manner. Swallowing loudly. I grabbed Tako Hasu; I poisoned her so the guard rested on my shoulder and the blade rested over my heart. Like how Toushiro wore Hyourinmaru, except she wasn't on my back, but on my chest, she insisted on this. Saying that my heart should be guarded by something so why should she not do it? I wrapped the cloth around top of the sheathe just below the guard, I put a lavender strip of cloth that I had found. (Like the one Toushiro uses to hold Hyourinmaru) over my shoulder on to my back before wrapping it around my hips the tip of the navy sheathe resting on my right hip (the hearts on the left right?)

" And you scold me about eating fast" Rin muttered to herself as we both walked out the door towards the blue tiled top of a building where we were organized into two man teams, me and Rin of course were on the same team. After all nobody else would work with us, we were too strange. We weren't one of them, we were different; and they lumped the two loners together, just for the comfort of everyone else. I didn't mind that much though; Rin was far closer to me in power level then anyone else in our class. And I know I don't brag, but it's not exactly bragging. There's a reason I was skipped ahead to the advanced sixth year class instead of going through the entire process of the six years of academy I was being put through about a year in total.

" Okay everyone! Go through the portal!" I ran along with everyone else me and Rin both were ahead of the group behind only the sensei's who were leading us. Leading us to an abandoned construction site, just outside of a human town. It was rather beautiful, and I could just see a river on the horizon, only a couple miles away.

" Okay everyone I'm sure your teacher spoke to you about all the ground rules. You are to kill the dummy hollows as a training exercise. Understood"

" Hai!" I chorused with the class, me and Rin and I quickly going off in a different direction then the rest of the class

" Okay Hinata! Coast is clear you can use it now!"

" Not so loud! Do you want everyone know about the byakugan?" I whispered harshly.

" They won't hear us, now take that hiate of yours off and use it" she replied much more relaxed then I could get myself be at the moment. Something was off. I didn't sense anything but something in the pit of my stomach was pitching and rolling in a way that made me think otherwise.

" Come on what's wrong with you? Sense something?" Rin said exasperated

" N-no I-it's nothing" I replied uneasily, I untied my hiate and put more reistu into my byakugan making it more effective scanning the surrounding area. A couple hollow dummies crossed my vision; no one was in that area so it would be the best place to start.

" There are some hollow dummies to the east from here"

" Damn Hinata, you're quick"

" Not that quick. You forget my byakugan is activated to a degree almost all the time. So all I needed to do was increase the reistu flow"

" You lost me at not" Rin muttered rubbing her head in confusion, I sighed and rolled my eyes.

" Just follow me" I smiled. Running as fast I could, letting the wind and thumps of my feet comfort the uneasiness that I felt. I could see the hollow dummies and I could feel Rin's reistu behind me. And again I felt the beautiful happiness course through my veins it was a slow crawling feeling, but it made my heart fly like a bird. And I loved it. I stopped when I was a proper distance from two hollow dummies for attacking it. I Waited for Rin to get there as well before I slipped into my stance grabbing Tako Hasu's hilt but not yet drawing her. A small, but genuine smile crossing my face.

" Zanjustu?" she asked. She was of course referring to what type of technique that I was going to use.

" Yup, you?"

" Same" she smirked drawing her sword, the blade and it's wolf carvings glinting in the sunlight. I felt my smile grow wider as I felt Tako Hasu's sheathe disappear for just enough time for me to get the sword out and ready for battle. I looked up to see the hollow dummy starting to come towards me. I ran forward letting the sharp side of my zanpakto point upwards towards the mask. I automatically felt instructions go through my head

' _Run forward' _

' _Have sharp side pointing up' _

' _Jump' _

'_Put a little more strength into the blade so that you don't loose momentum' _

' _Once you're half ways through the mask put a bit more strength into it so that you have upward momentum'_

' _Use the upward momentum so back flips'_

'_Land' _I smiled with satisfaction as I heard my shoes tap one after another on to the ground. I put Tako Hasu into her sheathe

" Hinata were you a dancer in life or something?" Rin asked having finished off her dummy as well.

" No" I looked at her, confusion painting itself clearly on my face even with my eyes not showing, had she really forgotten that I was a kunoichi, just like her?

" Oh don't give me that look, I know you were a kunoichi, I just like teasing you" she snickered. But despite that I felt a pitching rolling feeling in my stomach again.

" Hinata? You okay, you look, well uh not normal"

" I don't know why, but something's off. Something isn't right. I can feel it in my gut. I know it sounds weird, but it's true"

" Hinata?" Rin replied slowly deliberately. A small amount of fear in her voice

" Please tell me that thing behind you is a dummy" she squeaked. Her zanpakto trembling in time with her form. I slowly turned my head towards the hollow that I knew was behind me.

' _How could I not sense that! '_

" **You did sense it, you just didn't know what to make of it. You've never felt a hollows reistu until now" **

" Well, this will be a great training exercise!" I said trying to cover my fear with the joking comment

" We can take it down! Just like the dummies!" I said trying my best to keep my voice even, but it wasn't working. My voice was still afraid.

" **What a wonderful meal you two will make!" **the hollow snickered, it's voice laden with sick joy. The type that made sent shivers down your spine, and made your stomach perform more acrobatic routines then an entire circus. But at the same mad you irrationally angry

" I'm nobodies meal!" I screamed at the four-legged hollow rushing forward without thinking about what I would do once I got to the hollow, I hadn't even drawn Tako Hasu. But the hollow made the decision for me. Swatting me out of the way before I could even think, knocking off my hiate judging by the dull clatter that I heard. I felt the oh so familiar sensation of rolling on the ground feeling all the air leave my lungs.

' _Get up!' _my father is yelling at me again.I again put pressure on my hand boosting my body back up, into a wall. My ponytail unraveled leaving it in my face

"Hinata!" I can barely hear Rin yell my name. Her shoes making their desperate slaps on the ground. I try desperately to move something. Anything, just to tell her I'm alive and conscious. I manage to turn my head up, and work on putting more reistu into my byakugan seeing if either of us were injured thankfully nothing to serious only bruises

" I'm fine" I managed my voice coming out like a raspy high-pitched thing before it disappeared into coughs. I felt a shiver go down my spine as the hollow let off a low growl. Careful not to alert anyone so that it's meal would be secure.

" **Now your little friend is mine!"** I could see the hollow's claws racing towards me but I was unable to move. I could see it now. All my blood leaking out of me as it's claw pins me to the wall my eyes exactly like Kaa-chan's blank and dead, I hated to make Rin see that, it would surely haunt her, for a bit anyways, I wouldn't remain in her memories for long I was after all, weak and worthless. I felt a couple tears escape my eyes

'_Even in the end, I'm just a weak thing that gets in the _way' I looked at the hollow. I looked up. Looking the hollow straight in the eye.

" Hinata No!" I blinked slowly trying to erase the scene in front of me. Rin covered in blood, her own blood. And I was covered in it too. Sticky, warm, crimson life splattered all over my face hands and body, and not even the tears that were coursing down my face cold wash it away. Rin with the claw that was supposed to pierce my flesh, through her body.

"No" I felt the harsh pained whisper escape my throat

" This wasn't supposed to happen" I felt my voice growing in volume

" I-I was the one who-who was supposed to die" I felt sobs choking my voice into oblivion.

" No"

" Rin"

" Rin"

" Rin!" I surprised even myself with the bloodcurdling scream that escaped my throat. I could barely recognize it. I could barely hear Rin's name in it either.

" **Now you've done it! Stupid gaki! You've alerted all the shinigami in the area!" **the hollow snarled throwing Rin's limp body to the ground more of the crimson liquid splattering all around. I felt my reistu flow unrestrained through all my being, hot rage coursing through my veins. I stood up keeping my head down feeling the crawling icy power that had mystified me creep out of my body. Like thick, red, blood easing it's way from Rin's body. I lifted my head, my reistu bursting forward like the blood from Hanabi's birth.

" **You have wonderful reistu, Gaki, just the bits that have saturated into the air is some of the best stuff I've tasted" **the hollow made a sound that could only be approximated to a purr. As it licked it's lips in anticipation. More rage. More rage then I even though I was capable of feeling towards one being at one point in time. I drew Tako Hasu not even bothering to wait for the sheathe to disappear, causing the blade to make a slit in my skin from the corner of my jaw to my cheekbone. The blood dripping down my chin like the tears I was currently shedding, staining the white parts of my uniform a nasty crimson. Darker then the red of the uniform. I could bare restrain myself from charging, for I knew that such a straightforward method would end my life, well afterlife. But I knew that I would only be able to restrain myself for so long. My reistu, my own hatred and rage, were becoming too much.

" **Are you just going to stand in that stange little stance of yours or are you going to do something? Because if the first one is true I would really love to get on with my meal" **the hollows tone was bored, impatient maybe. But I still knew, something happened to this soul to make it the monster it was. I felt my grip on Tako Hasu tighten.

' _What am I going to do! This thing is stronger then me! I couldn't hope to face it head on!' _

" **Gaki-chan, you have to use your shikai" **

' _Demo, I don't know-' _

" **It doesn't matter. I'll tell you how and you'll repeat it. Okay? you are going to live through this no matter what. Understand that?" **I managed a small nod.Tako Hasu nodded in response. Taking a deep breath. I whispered the phrase I knew would awaken her powers

"Imi o torimasu, Tako Hasu"

"**Okay, put your sword away. It's just going to get in the way." ** I obeyed her. Knowing that I had no options left. I let my only defense dissolve into it's sheathe.

" **So you've decided to give up?" **

" **Focus your reistu into your right hand. Let it take the form of a kunai." ** I took a deep breath feeling my formally uncontrolled reistu do as I bid it. I gripped the icy weapon like the lifeline I knew it was.

" **Now repeat after me" **

" **Tie em' up" **

" T-t-tie em' up" I echoed unsurely. Readying myself to throw the kunai. This was my move. I knew what to do.

"**saisho no riri su ha juu tora **_( first release: ten tigers)_**"**

"saisho no riri su ha juu tora! (_First Release: Ten Tigers)_" I yelled throwing the kunai towards the front left ankle of the best. Hoping to the Kami that I hoped existed. I wanted to see Toushiro again. I managed a slight smile of satisfaction when I heard the hollow yell out, as it's front feet like appendages were tied together bound by my ice.

" **Now let's get out of here before that thing breaks the ice" **I nodded slightly. Hesitating only to grab Rin's body as well as my hiate. I grimaced as her blood began to seep into my uniform, caressing my skin in a way that felt not unlike warm water.

'_Rin, please don't let go. I don't know what I'd do without you there to cheer me on, I'm sorry that I was so cold. That I didn't acknowledge you' _More tears began to burn at my eyes blurring my vision. I could just barely see an alleyway into which I ducked into laying Rin's body onto the ground

" Rin?" I questioned softly

" You still there?" my voice cracked tears flowing in more volume down my face. But the cut on my face was a merely trickling blood now.

" H-Hina Hina-Hinata" her voice was raspy and pain filled

" Rin" my voice filled with relief

" I-I'm not going to be, " she groaned in pain

" A-round for long" she panted. I felt the solid fear and panic that had seized me just before my Kaa-chan died rise through me

" Rin, no. no no no no. Gomensai, you wouldn't be like this if you hadn't protected me demo. Please don't leave, I-I-I I need you"

" Please don't apologize to me with that look on your face, I protected you because it'd be a waste for you not to become a shinigami. You-" she coughed up some more blood before continuing

" You are much more powerful then anybody. It's just a matter of time before you realize that power. Y-you have the potential to have Taicho class reistu, probably more" I barely heard her words, but I could see that she was fading. And fast. I had to keep her alive. I couldn't let her die. I took a deep breath trying to focus past my fear. Like a kunoichi as well as a shinigami should be able to. I knew I wouldn't be able to heal the injury completely, but I could keep her alive, at least for a little while couldn't I?

" **Hinata. She doesn't have much time left. Healing kido or not, she's given up" **

'_No! I won't let her die! I won't! '_

" **As determined as you are. Even though your kido is healing her. She hasn't the will to live anymore. She has resigned herself to death. There is nothing you can do" **

" Hinata, don't waste your energy, I'm going home" Rin rasped her words nearly all breath. Her eyes fading.

" W-w-w-w-what d-d-do y-you mean? "

" I mean what I said. I'm going to Konoha."

"Goodbye Hinata, be strong for the both of us Kay?" I could barely manage to nod as sobs took over my body

" Gomen Rin, I failed" I whispered the small words crushed by my tears

" You didn't fail, please Hinata, whatever you do. Never say that again. Can you promise me that?"

" I-I can try" I sniffed knowing all to well what was going to happen next. Her spiritual pressure would extinguish completely and her eyes, her bright happy eyes. Would go dead and blank. Just like Kaa-Chans. I'm glad I closed my eyes before I died. I'm glad Naruto didn't have to see my Hyuuga eyes devoid of all emotion. Because no matter what you do. Nothing will ever erase the memory of dead eyes.

" **So this is where you were hiding, Shinigami-Chibi" **I felt my tears freeze in my throat. I could barely get my muscles to respond after I managed to get Tako Hasu into my trembling hands. My heart stopped. Everything stopped. My heart, my breath, my tears, my emotions. Nothing but fear existed choking my existence. Only one thought crossed my head.

'_I'm going to die' _

" **You going to do something Shinigami-Chibi?" ** I suppose he took my stillness as a no

" **Oh, I was sorta hoping for a good fight from you, oh well. A meal is a meal either way. " **I was still frozen. I felt a more familiar presence coming closer, but I was too muddled to find out the reason for the familiarity. I felt the hollow's hand close around my throat. I felt my muscles kick into gear but soon enough I had no strength left.

I had no oxygen left.

I had no life left.

I had no heart left.

I had no friends left

I had no family left.

It was all gone. Nothing was left.

I try to open my eyes, so that they won't forever be a secret. So that someone will remember me. If only for my dead, blank, lavender tinted eyes. I could barely hear the clatter as Tako Hasu slipped from my hands. My last symbol of defeat. I looked up, and I can barely make out, a mass of sliver and white a line of dark purple and two dashes of green. Cold. It's so cold.

'_Why do I feel so cold? I can't feel cold. '_My brain made one last attempt at thought.I no longer felt cold; having an ice type zanpakto cured me of that. So why, was I so cold? I wasn't dead. That cold was so much different. In fact.

My thoughts were clearing

My vision was clearing.

I could feel again.

I could breath again. And on doing so I began to cough, wet hacking coughs that were tearing through my throat. That made me feel like I was choking all over again. But even through that. I could feel the hollow's reistu dissipate. It was dead. I looked up. Wondering who had saved me. Who had put aside their hate and had helped me. And I felt my breath catch in my throat. It was

Him. The one that I had found that I loved.

Hitsugaya Toushiro. I felt my voice bubble out without command.

" H-H-Hitsu-gaya, t-taicho" shock making itself clear in my voice. I got on to my knee's my fist curling over my chest as I stared in amazement. Hyourinmaru's shining blade captivating me as it traveled into it's sheathe.

" You okay, gaki?" the fact that his voice was freezing didn't even matter to me. The fact that the person that I had wished to see for so long was in front of me kept the hurt from the icy spears that his voice would've caused when I first met him down. Of course he couldn't say my name. We shouldn't have met.

"H-h-h-hai" I spoke clearly now.

_**Yup! That's it! I know terrible cliffy but oh well! I'm super happy with this! It's 28 pages long on word! This is the longest I've ever written! And I hope that this was worth the wait. And if it wasn't. Well my apologies. I really didn't mean to take this long. **_


	11. Seireitei And Determination part 1

_**Hey everyone! I'm sorry this is late (again, I feel like a really bad author) but school has been crazier then you can imagine. (I've had like 6 projects plus homework) and on top of that I've had a lot of writers block. But anyways, I thank for xxHinaAngelxx, and Azelf1717 reviewing! This chapter is dedicated to you two as well as kurogani sai for giving me a huge amount of confidence in this story. I also thank for Ranko66,Shadow Zeranion,fanofanime,Lifeclaw,MessyxxxJessy,Azelf1717,silt, hyperaznmonkey12,bobbinbird, alerting and for Ranko66,espeon16,Kikuri-Chan,mewzoe,,Jinx-neko,kurogani sai ( story and author thanks so much!) favoriting. I love you all for showing your support.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach or Naruto. If I did. Well uh all hell would break loose to be frank. And Hitsuhinata would actually exist in the show. **_

Hinata's point of view.

I can hear voices. A lot of them. But they're all muffled like they're outside a door. I groaned at the soreness in my muscles and opened my eyes. Everything was a hazy blob of white.

" I see you're awake" a kind and motherly voice said. I turned to see a black haired woman whose hair went around her neck then continued like a normal braid down her chest. I also noticed that her eyes were a deep sapphire. I looked around and realized that my hiate was not on me as it had previously been instead on a bedside table tied around the sheathe of Tako Hasu. But somehow I didn't mind showing my eyes around this woman. She reminded me vaguely of my own mother. I sat up.

" W-Where am I?" I asked touching my cheek where Tako Hasu had cut me. I now noticed it was bandaged. I sat up becoming aware of bruises all over my body. I looked at my hand it was also bandaged. I flexed my hand. The bandage turned pink.

" You're in the fourth squad recovery room within the seireitei I'm Unohana Restu the Fourth squad taicho"

' _T-taicho! Why don't I feel weighed down?' _

" **You've gotten used to the large amounts of reistu while you were unconscious" **

" S-sei-seireitei! But why am I here?" I felt shock melt into my features.

" Information and possible recruitment"

" Information? What type of information" I skipped the recruitment part. I didn't want to get myself overly hopeful about that.

' _What do they want to know! What information could I even possibly have for them' _

" Information on the hollow attack last night. Or more accurately how you survived it"

" Gomen Unohana-Taicho sama. But I doubt I know anything of importance" I closed my eyes to keep back the tears that

" How do you know this child?" her kind voice mirroring something so familiar so familiar. But I couldn't place my finger on it. I feel silent directing my energy to keeping my tears back.

" A-a-a-a-a-ano u-u-Unohana Taicho, h-h-has she woken up?" A meek voice called from outside the door I opened my eyes

" She in fact has Hanataro-san" Unohana replied

" O-oh t-that's good, I-I brought some f-food " a boy with limp chin length black hair came in. he wore a standard shinigami uniform as well as a sack over his back. As he mentioned before he carried a tray of food.

" I-I-I-I assume that y-you're H-H-H-Hyuuga H-Hinata-san? " I nodded

" Nice to meet you" I murmured politely

" What was that? G-gomen but you're g-g-going to have to speak a bit l-louder then that if anyone's to hear y-you" I frowned. He reminded me of Rin. Of a Rin with a stuttering problem.

" Nice to meet you " I said, louder this time I offered my bandaged hand to shake. He looked at my eyes inquisitively

" Are you blind Hyuuga-chan?" I blinked

" No" My head tilted to the side in what looked like innocent confusion. But really it was masked over anger.

"O-oh gomen! You just have such light eyes and no pupils so I assumed-"

" I-I-it's fine." I smiled my cheeks turning a pale pink out of habit.

" If you don't mind me asking what is you name fourth squad –san?"

" O-oh that's right! We've never s-s-spoken before! I'm Y-Yamada Hanatoro and I'm the seventh seat of squad four, well of course I'm from squad four why else would I be here, oh, gomen! I'm rambling aren't I! I hate it when I do that with out realizing it" I'm sure he continued but I could only pay attention for so long. I struggled to hold back the tears that were assaulting my eyes.

' _Rin. How could I loose you? Why wasn't I able to protect you? Why can't I just protect myself!' _

" Would you like something to eat Hyuuga-chan?" I looked up and right on cue my stomach let out a huge growl. I blushed a deep red and Hanataro just smiled

" I-I guess that's a yes!" I offered an answering smile.

" Well I'll leave you to eat and I'll be back in a bit unless Unohana Taicho wants something with you" and with that he walked out the door. I ate the food with vigor realizing just how hungry I was.

' _How long was I even out?' _

" **A week or so" **

' _A week! So they've had awhile to investigate this then?' _

" **The hollow attack or your possible recruitment?" **

' _Which do you think Tako Hasu?' _my thoughts muttered knew full well that I was trying not to get my hopes up about recruitment. I didn't deserve it. Not at all.

" **You do to deserve it! You've unlocked your shikai and not only that you and me have, much like Toushiro, have an amazing amount of contact with me. Most people can't have conversations like we do constantly on demand without meditation " **

' _Tako Hasu being a shinigami is more then that. And you know I don't measure up.' _ Tako Hasu sighed

" **You really do measure up but I have a feeling I'll never be able to convince you of that fact" she** sighed a heavy sigh and disappeared. And I couldn't help but feel bad. It was obvious to me that I had hurt her feelings. I could feel it eating away at my stomach. I hated this. I didn't want to cause people pain or misery.

'_Why couldn't I be like Naruto-kun! Everyone loved him! Everyone! Why? Why can't I be like that!'_

' _Gomen Tako Hasu. I- I guess that I could be a good shinigami. If I tried hard enough maybe' _

" **That's better Gaki, You have to have confidence in yourself."**

' _Demo it seems so hard. I don't know why but. It's so hard to see myself as anything other then a failure' _

" **I suppose after thirteen years of insults you begin to believe them" **

" **Your father destroyed your confidence, hindering you from advancing as he wanted you to" **Tako Hasu stated. A sad tone attached itself to her voice.

" **So it is my job to rebuild it" **her voice was soft. But it was also determined.

' _Ah, we- we're definitely are going to make sure that Rin-chan hasn't died in vain' _

__-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

_**Ughhh! This is so short but sadly I really can't think of anything else to write! But I have published a new story as a companion to this called " My Lavender Lily" so you could read that while I get over my writers block for this story. I'm hoping that working on something else for a bit might ease the writers block.**_


	12. Seireitei and Determination part 2

_**Hey minna! Sorry the last chapter was so short but I will so make up for it now! A big Nell style glomp goes to for reviewing a huge thank you cupcake to for alerting and a big cookie to for favoriting! And everyone gets a… NEW CHAPTER!!! (Isn't that a great gift?) You guys are the most supportive and wonderfully understanding people I could ever ask for. I've also changed my penname to Hitsu-Hinata Hime, though in my opinion that title belongs to the one and only Rae-sama (raesigns) but I really love the couple so I wanted to make it my pen-name but I will definitely be keeping the shorter name for when I'm too lazy to type my full pen-name Tsuki, mostly because Hitu-Hinata Hime doesn't really have a very good shortening. But anyways on with the chapter! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: **_

_**Tsuki: do I really have to do this? **_

_**Legal people: yes you do. If you don't, it's considered copyright infringement. And then you'll get arrested. **_

_**Tsuki: oh. Well when you put it that way. I guess I really don't want to go to jail so. **_

_**Tsuki and legal people: I claim no ownership. **_

_**Tsuki: or do I?**_

_**Legal people: you don't**_

_**Tsuki: damn! Let a girl dream will ya! **_

_**Legal people: no can do. **_

_**Tsuki: fuckers. Well whatever. On with the chapter! **_

Hitsugaya's point of view

It's been one week. Seven entire days. In the two times I'd been separated from Hinata in the past. It had been these first seven days that were always the worst. Her voice was always freshest in my head for those seven torturous days. Wait. No. Torturous isn't the word I'm looking for. I love hearing her soprano voice in my head stuttering out pleasant reminders.

' _D-don't use that cup, it has a c-crack in it'_

' _It's nearly n-noon'_

' _You should eat s-something, you haven't eaten all day Toushiro' _were some of the many pleasant reminders that drifted through my head at the exact time every single day. To me it seemed more like a mother scolding a child, perhaps a wife talking to her husband. I blushed at the thought, I could definitely see her as a wife, if she had lived long enough to bear children I could definitely say for sure that she would have been the most loving and accepting mother to ever exist. I couldn't help he scene that played in my mind

' _I walked through the door to a small house. _

" _Tou-chan's home!" a boy and girl squeal in unison. They ran up to me hugging my legs. The girl is petite and looks like a mini-Hinata her eyes are pupil-less but share my color_

" _is something wrong Tou-chan? You look surprised!" her vocabulary is developed for such a small child_

" _Ya Tou-chan what's wrong?" the boy echoes, his hair is dark like Hinata's and his lavender eyes bear pupils_

" _Don't pester your Tou-chan" Hinata's voice echoes from the kitchen. Even though her voice is scolding, she still manages to sound loving. She turns around her pale eyes singing with happiness. Something else strikes me. Her stomach was large, rounded and full. Not fat. But as if there was something underneath. Then it struck me. She was pregnant. Even though I knew it was impossible. But the two children that undeniably shared the both of our features, as well her currently round belly, put forward unprecedented evidence. Hinata walked over. Even in pregnancy she showed a slight grace in her walk. She kissed me on the cheek. I blushed slightly. The girl making an 'aw isn't that so sweet' face. The boy had the preferred reaction in my opinion. Sticking his tongue out and pretending to vomit. _

"_Daimaru, Hasuko why don't you help you Tou-chan set the table, I'm too tired to do it myself" Hinata said. Her voice betraying a bit of weariness. _

" _You haven't been pushing yourself too hard have you?" the concerned words slipped out my mouth without consideration_

" _Toushiro I would feel just the same at the end of the day if I just laid around. I would rather be productive and tired then counter-productive and just as tired" _

" _Just making sure. I don't want anything to happen to you is all" again, not a moment's consideration of my own words. _

" _Nothing's ever going to happen to me. I've got too much here to take care of to leave!" I nodded. Trusting her words._

" _Tou-chan! I thought you were helping us!" Daimaru and Hasuko called out in unison. _

" _I am, I am, unlike you guys I haven't gotten to talk to your Kaa-Chan all day" _

" _Because that's such a shame" Daimaru replied rolling his eyes. Typical sarcastic brat fashion. I frowned. I got some dishes from an overhead cabinet. Somehow I knew he didn't mean it. I set the dishes down in their proper places. _

" _Hinata, the table's set" I said. She didn't reply. When I looked she was sprawled on the couch sound asleep. _

I blinked the scene away from my mind I knew marriages were barely ever allowed in the seireitei. The last marriage that I even knew of was the marriage between the late Hisana and Kuchiki Taicho. And Hisana was of course not shinigami. Hinata wasn't either. As of yet. The soutaicho said that if she was able to show a shikai. That she would be given the third seat of Soi-Fong's second squad because of her extremely high grades in Hakudo. When called upon to talk about her the sensei in fact admitted that the girl was very much stronger then himself. He noted that her stance was highly unusual but she used it to her advantage, her style momentum based, using the power from one attack to go with absolutely no pauses into the next.

" If you didn't look closely you'd never guess she was fighting. You'd probably think that she was dancing" to quote him exactly. I sighed. Putting my brush away. I obviously wasn't going to get anything else done today.

' _Hyourinmaru?' _

" **What is it? I was just about to take a nap" I** almost rolled my eyes. For a huge ice dragon he sure was childish sometimes

" **I'm not childish!" **the whole thought reading thing got kind of inconvenient.

" **What do you want to know anyways?" ** Just like him to ignore my thoughts when I was too embarrassed to voice them.

" **The kids in your daydream? Trust me. That's just a daydream. Besides the fact that you don't have the guts to go through with **_**that**_**. It's quite impossible for a spirit to get pregnant. To put it simply dead plus dead doesn't equal alive"** that wasn't what I wanted to know either. I knew it already.

' _I know that. I was going to ask about the names of the brats. Daimaru, That's you, but Hasuko? I don't know anyone by that name. Or any zanpakto by that name' _

" **That would be Hinata's zanpakto. Tako Hasu. The copy-cat zanpakto." **

' _The copy-cat zanpakto?' _

" **Yes. Tako hasu-Chan is called the copy-cat zanpakto because she uses the meaning of the name of the first zanpakto her wielder touches to bring down her enemy"**

' _But I never knew her zanpakto's name. I've never even seen it released' _

" **You have. When you saved her, before she dropped her zanpakto it was in it's released form" **

' _It was? I didn't notice much of a difference between the two"_

" **It doesn't matter oh and you might want to listen to that hell butterfly"** I looked up from my daydream to in fact see a hell butterfly impatiently fluttering by my desk. I put out my finger. And the butterfly perched on my finger relaying its message.

' Hyuuga Hinata has woken up and will now be tested in front of the thirteen taichos and their fukitaichos to determine her worth as a shinigami' I nodded to the butterfly and it fluttered off.

" Matsumoto!" I called gruffly

" Hai?"

" It seems that the gaki has woken up, we're to report to the soutaicho to see her tested to see if she'll become a shinigami"

" Honto! I hope she passes the test!" I felt my eyebrow twitch at the volume and pitch of the input.

" whatever. Let's just get going" I tried my best to not betray how my mind was constantly on the dark haired girl. I walked towards first division, ignoring Matsumoto's constant chattering. My feet already knew the way, leaving my thoughts to wander yet again. And they too wandered down a familiar beaten path.

' _Toushiro your there'_ I could almost feel her soft breath tickling my neck warm and rippling. Just like it had that night

" _I was judged a failure. You didn't judge me. That's why" she looked up. And ever hesitantly lifted her lips to my own. My first reaction was shock. That she of all people would ever kiss me, shy innocent Hinata. My second reaction was one of an incomprehensible warm building in my chest I felt my own lips brushing, crushing against hers. Something I was so unfamiliar with. I felt my breath running out just as she pulled away. Her cheeks even the dim moonlight had a crimson tint on her normally alabaster skin. She closed her eyes her breathing evening out judging by the soft rhythmic rippling air that was passing by my neck. I carefully lifted Hinata back to her own futon. Pulling the covers over her. Pushing a stray tassel of hair away from her face. She seemed so peaceful. And strangely I felt peaceful as well_

" Hitsugaya-kun! You certainly are thinking today!" I looked to the voice

"Ohayo gozaimasu Ukitake-san"

" There really isn't a need to be so formal Hitsugaya-kun. But whatever, what do you think of this child? You are after all the one who rescued her from that hollow" I almost sighed but reined myself in at the last moment.

" I'm not quite sure of her abilities, by the time I came along she was getting choked to death by the hollow" I scanned his reaction. His face resembled someone who was trying to solve a difficult puzzle

" Was she weighed down by your reistu?"

" No, not noticeably. The kid has good reistu, but it's untamed and because of that she's unable to use it to its full extent" I tried my best to sound cold

" Well that's good Hitsugaya-kun, It means that she still has the potential to grow exponentially. It's even more impressive that she didn't look as if she was weighed down"

" You seem awful hopeful for the kid Juushiro" Kyouraku cut in. sporting his trademark carefree smile and ridiculous pink haori.

" I personally feel kind of sorry for the kid, seeing someone stabbed through isn't a very pleasant experience to have so young" Kyoraku continued, his voice clearly sympathetic

" Oh dear. Poor child must've been in tears," Ukitake agreed somberly

" She wasn't" they both looked at me with interest

" What do you mean by that Hitsugaya-kun?"

" I mean she wasn't crying," I said grudgingly

" She looked shaken up, but she didn't cry"

" Maybe she was too shocked to cry" Ukitake stated somberly

" Maybe" I consented. Wanting to get off the subject. Despite how much I thought about her, talking about Hinata was amazingly hard. It was hard not to reveal the confusing feeling that had lodged itself into my heart. After a couple minutes everyone including me settled into our places. Just as the door creaked open and the Soutaicho walked in, Hinata's reistu noticeably closer to the meeting room.

" I call this taicho's and fukitaicho's meeting to order," The soutaicho said. His deep voice calm.

" You all know why we're here, we are going to test Hyuuga Hinata to see if she is ready to be a shinigami"

" Soutaicho-sama, if you don't mind my asking, why is such a big deal being made over this girl?" Soi-Fong said icily, her voice filled with contempt.

" Because the child survived an attack from such a strong hollow. "

" I still don't think that precedents such a big fuss"

" And you are right. She is by far the youngest student to ever enter the academy"

" The Youngest? Just how young is this child" the cold and slightly curious voice of Byakuya

" She's in her mid-teens, perhaps slightly younger, the oldest she could be is fifteen, at the youngest twelve" Unohana spoke up I widened my eyes in fake shock. Everyone else's eyes open wide and most of the fukitaicho's jaws drop to the floor. Except the twelfth squads fukitaicho. I suppose having a mad scientist for a father leads you to not be surprised by much.

" Yama-jii! You can't possibly think that someone of that age is ready for battle! -"

" I actually did some looked through some records, do you know about the small sub-dimension that was discovered about fourteen years ago?"

" You mean the shinobi villages?"

" Ah, I do. Turns out that girl is, or was from the village that was attacked by the Kitsune No Kyuubi, but unfortunately I was unable to see if she processed any of the special jutsu's that were passed through the clans of that village. I'm not even sure if she's even from a clan" I was almost glad that Momo was sick today; she definitely would have said that Hinata was in fact from a clan. I hadn't known myself until she mentioned it herself.

_" I'm glad to see that you two managed to have a conversation while we were gone" Baachan said cheerfully. Happy that her mission of making us talk had worked. Momo had already made arrangements for us to stay for the night and return to the Seireitei in the morning. Baachan looked over at Hinata who happened to be daydreaming_

_"Hina-Chan, you've really got to stop daydreaming like that"_

_"H-huh?" she muttered blinking_

_" Toushiro and Momo are going to stay here tonight, I hope you don't mind the sleeping in your room," she explained_

_" Of course not! I'm used to living in a crowded house anyways" Hinata replied lightly. Everyone in the room including me stared at her in confusion_

_" When I was alive I lived in a clan house, so I'm used to having many people around" she explained, pushing her shaggy bangs out of the way only to have them fall back in place earning herself a giggle from Momo._

_" It's easier when they get longer" she said her tone a cross between joking and reassuring Hinata smiled slightly._

" But even if she did not have one of these abilities, it means that she was a shinobi, which means she already knows the battle field. I do not think being in Soi-fong's squad will be much different for her" Soutaicho stated, a point of finality in his voice. As if to say ' argument over, I win'

" Hyuuga-san, you may enter" I copied everyone else and looked to the rather large door as Hinata came in. I was happy I had an excuse to stare at her. Even though the shinigami academy uniform was slightly baggy on her she still managed to be beautiful. I noticed that she now had a single strip of bandage on her cheek and wrapped around one hand. Her dark hair was suspended in the high spiky ponytail that held a slight familiarity to it; two tassels of hair framed her face just brushing her color bones. The midnight blue of her locks contrasting with the more typical blue of the headband that she wore over her eyes. Her mouth was set into a cold frown. Her zanpakto was strapped across her chest with a strip of lavender cloth that circled the top and bottom of the sheathe of the petite zanpakto.

' _Wait, why is her zanpakto so small?' _

" **Because her need to kill her enemy's is small" **

' _H-huh? But a lot of people say that the zanpakto is large because their reistu needs a larger place to contain it'_

" **Well humans are stupid. The zanpakto is one's need to kill their enemies. Someone like Hinata who would avoid conflict at all costs rather then fight will have a small zanpakto. Someone who looks for peace but will fight will have a medium sized zanpakto. That's most people. People who look for fights and feel a need for battle will have large zanpakto." **

'_So how come Zaraki and Ichimaru don't have large zanpakto?' _

" **Ichimaru 's zanpakto elongates in its release. If he really wanted to he could probably extend that sword forever so yes, he is the bloodthirsty bastard you think he is. And we don't know what Zaraki's release is as of yet" **

" Hyuuga-san, do you wish as of now to become a shinigami?" The Soutaicho's voice shattered my daydream. I looked to Hinata. Studying her. Something about her was different. She held her shoulders higher, not like the hunched shaking shoulders of the girl I'd met nearly a year and a half ago. She seemed so different then that girl.

She held her head and shoulders high

Her feet were farther apart, determined to define her fate. Her fist squeezed. Her bandage turning a slight pink.

" Hyuuga-san, do you wish as of now to become a shinigami?"

" hai" her voice was strong. No stuttering. It wasn't the high unsure voice I was used to. It was still a soprano but now it held strength. A hawk rather then a butterfly.

" **Seems that Tako Hasu- chan finally beat some confidence into the kid"**

" Are you able to call your zanpakto's name?" The Soutaicho questioned his voice heavy like a stone.

" Hai" her fingers brushed the part of the sheathe that was at her hip. The Soutaicho took a deep breath.

" Very well then, show us your shikai child" she nodded. Her chest rising with a deep breath. She gripped the hilt of the sword and the sheathe dissolved for just enough time for her to move the sword out of it's confines. She held the short katana in front of her, the blade pointing straight to the left.

"Imi o torimasu Tako Hasu" a crawling glow engulfed the guard, the energy was multicolored, but the three main colors were a deep crimson, lavender, and azure. But other colors were mixed in as well, I could tell gray, periwinkle, and brown, black. After a couple of moments a light jingling could be heard. The guard had eight charms hanging from it. With eight differently colored strings hanging from each of it's eight points.

"Very well, you will stay with one of the thirteenth squads unseated officers until you are to be put in second squad" she nodded.

" This meeting is complete. Ukitake please take Hyuuga-san to your squad." He nodded. Leading Hinata away.

_**Well. This is kinda short but I think you have all waited long enough. I'm so sorry about how spotty and short these chapters have been but both my two older siblings and me have had a holy fuck load of projects due lately so I've had to give up a lot of computer time. **_


	13. A New Friend And An Old Story

_**Hey people! Hitsu-Hinata Hime here! Well this is Hinata's point of view from the last chapter as well as some new stuff. I'm sorry this late, but my brain recently had a new brainchild so, ya. I couldn't think about this story at all. A hitsugaya plush goes to **__**Azelf1717, ItY'girl,A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA- Fairy, random unknown fangirl, KaRisa-Hime, Yorukifon**____**for reviewing a big warm chocolate chip cookie goes to **__**Anniria, random unknown fangirl (as an author too thanks so much!!), Mimmy700, Iovershadow, Dark Queen Helba**____**for alerting and a bucketful of frosting goes to **__**Slivergriffen10, random unknown fangirl (story and author! Gosh I love you all), Kitsune In Hiding, NinjaStar-sensei, Yorukifon (story and author again! You guys are the best!)**____**for favoriting!**_

_**Oh and an extra shout out goes to xxxHinaAngelxxx for beginning her own HitsuHinata story called " A Shinigami's Angel" Thanks for adding to the (however small) HitsuHinata community!**_

_**And another additional shout out goes to **__**Yorukifon, and random unknown fangirl for recently adding me as a favorite author! I'm so happy you find this entertaining.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: sadly for me, but fortunately for you I don't own anything but the plot. And even that I don't own all of it. **_

Hinata's point of view

I was careful to make a note of my surroundings as Unohana Taicho led me to the door of the taicho's meeting room.

" Wait out here until Soutaicho sama calls you in" I nodded, no other taicho's were coming, I could tell that by the now thirteen taicho class reistu's that were now in the meeting room. I made the necessary hand seals before whispering

" Byakugan" I could see all thirteen taicho's as well as some people who I assumed to be fukitaichos. Unohana, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto as well as others that I had never seen before. I looked at the old man. If what my sensei's said about the taicho's was true, he was the Soutaicho. I felt a slight burn as I examined his reistu.

" **Quit that! He has a fire type zanpakto! It'd be real great if you didn't put a lot of effort into melting me!"**

' _You melt?' _

" **The ice I make does" **

' _Oh, gomen Tako Hasu' _

I listened hard. Looking for snatches of conversation. Deactivating my byakugan so I could concentrate solely on the sounds that were coming out the door

" Soutaicho-sama, if you don't mind my asking, why is such a big deal being made over this girl?" a female said. Her voice was filled with contempt.

" Because the child survived an attack from such a strong hollow. " a deep voice answered.

" I still don't think that precedents such a big fuss" the female countered

" And you are right. She is by far the youngest student to ever enter the academy" the deep voice made his replies

" The Youngest? Just how young is this child" a cold yet curious new voice cut in.

" She's in her mid-teens, perhaps slightly younger, the oldest she could be is fifteen, at the youngest twelve" I recognized Unohana Taicho's serene voice.

' _Amazing! How did she guess my age so closely?' _

" **She took some X-ray's to see if anything was broken, bones can say a lot about a person if you know what to look for"**

" Yama-jii! You can't possibly think that someone of that age is ready for battle! -" Another male voice cut in, disbelief plain in his tone. Some concern was there to.

" I actually did some looked through some records, do you know about the small sub-dimension that was discovered about fourteen years ago?" the deep voice said calmly

" You mean the shinobi villages?" The male who had spoken before replied

" Ah, I do. Turns out that girl is, or was from the village that was attacked by the Kitsune No Kyuubi, but unfortunately I was unable to see if she processed any of the special jutsu's that were passed through the clans of that village. I'm not even sure if she's even from a clan "

' _They know about Konoha? And more importantly they know of kekkei genkais?'_

" But even if she did not have one of these abilities, it means that she was a shinobi, which means she already knows the battle field. "

' _I wasn't a very good shinobi, but I do know a little about battle' _

"I do not think being in Soi-fong's squad will be much different for her" he stated, a ring of finality in his voice

" Hyuuga-san, you may enter" I pushed the heavy doors open. Trying to keep my shoulders high. I kept a cold frown on my face. I would not look weak in front of these people. I stopped in the middle of the room looking straight forward.

" **That's a girl, keep your chin up!" **I almost smiled at Tako Hasu's appreciative cheer. But I stopped myself. Concentrating on keeping my head held high. Keeping Naruto's words of confidence in my head

' _I'm going to be the best ninja ever! Dattebyo!'_

' _I'll be hokage someday just you wait!' _

" _A-ano Rin?" _

" _Naniyo Hyuuga-san?" _

" _Arigaoto." I muttered looking down a blush on my face_

" _What for? " she asked her voice filled with her childish curiosity _

" _For cheering me on" _

" _No problem! You earned it!" she flashed a large irresistible smile; _Rin thought I was strong. And I would be strong. For her. She died protecting me. I wouldn't let that go to waste.

" Hyuuga-san, do you wish as of now to become a shinigami?" The deep voice I had heard earlier came from the old man, the soutaicho.

" Hai" I didn't hesitate. I wanted to be a shinigami. Being a shinigami meant that I could protect myself, that I could protect others. That I could be closer to Toushiro.

" Are you able to call your zanpakto's name?" he questioned. I felt anticipation and excitement build in my chest.

" **Yes! Go on Gaki-chan! Release me! We're gonna knock their socks off!" **

' _Tako Hasu… I hate to be a wet blanket but I really doubt that's gonna happen' _

" **Good point, they have sandals over their socks, the guy who was saying that you might not be ready for the battle field doesn't even have socks on!" ** I nearly sweat-dropped at my zanpakto's happy go lucky nature. I took a deep breath closing my eyes for a moment. My hand brushed against the part of Tako Hasu's sheathe that was at my hip. I removed her letting my wrist fall to the left.

"Imi o torimasu Tako Hasu," I uttered the phrase that would make Tako Hasu awaken, awakening the memories of my friends. Waking their feelings and personalities that had become engrained into me. Eight charms hung from each of the eight points on Tako Hasu's guard. A snowcapped mountain with a rising sun in the back that hung from a deep green string for Lee, a three pronged kunai with a crescent moon in the back that hung from a warm brown string for Ten Ten, a wolf backed by the noon sun on a rusty brown string for Kiba, a beautiful butterfly in front of a full moon for Shino, a ram in front of a sakura tree that was in full bloom that hung from a jade string for Sakura, a bull with a scale behind it on a periwinkle string for Ino, a shoji piece in front of a cloud that fell from a gray string for Shikamaru, and a bull behind a piece of wheat with a small butterfly on it hanging from a pale brown string for Choji. I smiled. This was only my third time releasing her. I remembered the first time. It had been late at night. And I had been practicing my zanjutsu on a very unfortunate tree.

_I panted in exertion. Sweat pouring down my face. I wiped my face on my bare arm. I had long ago rolled up the sleeves of my uniform. _

" _**Gaki-Chan can you hear me?" **__I felt my eyes widen in surprise I nodded both physically and mentally. Though our contact had been becoming more frequent as of late, that voice generally only contacted me as I dreamt. Not when I was awake_

" **Good, listen up. Your reistu has grown amazingly I did not think you would be ready so early. I will say one thing more and if you can hear it, it means I was correct " **

" **My name is Tako-Hasu, if you can hear it just say it back" **

" Tako Hasu" _I whispered the syllables felt right on my tongue, powerful, confidant and most of all mine. Like I'd always known it. Even before my own name. _

" **Say this gaki-chan if you wish to awaken me, say ****Imi o torimasu** **Tako Hasu" **

"_Imi o torimasu__, Tako-Hasu" _her_ guard burst into a multi colored glow. The energy was so familiar. Creeping, crawling, cold energy. _

"Very well, you will stay with one of the thirteenth squads unseated officers until you are to be put in second squad" The Soutiacho's voice smashed my reverie into smithereens.

" This meeting is complete. Ukitake please take Hyuuga-san to your squad." A man who looked to be in his late thirties or so, that had long white hair nodded. Leading me away.

" Well. This is awkward" he spoke. Breaking a long and indeed very awkward silence.

" Well then. We may as well start with the basics, I'm Ukitake Juushiro and I'm the taicho of squad thirteen"

" I'm Hyuuga Hinata, and I'm from Junrin'an "

" Junrin'an, hm, if I remember correctly Hitsugaya-kun is from that area as well" he mused, mostly to himself.

' _Toushiro I miss him already, well I guess I have to get used to calling him Hitsugaya Taicho' _

" Kuchiki! Could you come out here please?"

' _Kuchiki? Why would he put me with a noble? I'm just a rukon brat.' _

" Who's the gaki?" She was petite a head higher then myself. She had the signature Kuchiki strand of hair in the face and beautiful violet eyes. It reminded me slightly of Hanabi. She never managed to keep her hair in place. In fact the only thing she ever did with her hair was brush it every once in awhile. When she was smaller I had always tied her hair up. But she had never kept up with it.

" Do you mind if she stays here for a night?"

" No, but if you don't mind my asking why is she here?"

" I'll tell you later" he left.

" You've got to be kidding me," she muttered once he was out of sight. Glaring after him she sighed. She turned to me

" What's your name gaki?"

" Hyuuga Hinata Kuchiki-"

" Don't call me Kuchiki-sama, my name's Rukia, I'm from Inuzuri you?" I nearly gasped

' _How would a Kuchiki end up in a place like that?'_

" Junrin'an"

" Well are you just gunna stand there? Or are you going to come in?"

" H-hai Ku-I mean Rukia-san" I walked into the small quarters. Small paper screens fenced it in. The area was just enough room for two futon. With a little bit of room to walk around. Rukia sat down on one of the futon and patted the space next to her. I walked over, sitting down. My whole body was tense. I felt so unsure and confused, all over again.

" Can you tell me why you're here?" her voice was blunt.

" Do you want to know the official reason or my reason"?

" Let's hear them both" I honestly didn't want to. But I saw no way out of it.

" The official reason that I'm here is because I survived an attack from an extremely strong hollow, my reason is because I failed to protect my only friend so I'm going get stronger so I can protect myself. If I become stronger. None of my precious people will get hurt because of me ever again" she smiled.

" I can see that you have a lot of purpose. " she said somberly

" Huh?"

" I graduated from the academy early, a lot like you. I was put into the squads when was adopted into the Kuchiki clan. " I nodded. That's why everyone had thought I had been advanced so quickly. They thought that I was a part of some noble family that was so rich and powerful that they barely ever interacted with society. And that they couldn't stand to have a clan member among " commoners " for a period of six years.

" But when I graduated I had no reason to fight. I had decided to become a shinigami because I was sick of Inuzuri. I couldn't survive there any longer. Because I didn't have a reason to fight I had trouble with everything. Even kido which had been my strong point" my eyes widened.

' _Why is she telling me all this? I met her barely a minute ago and yet… I feel like I can trust her' _

" But I can see that you're not going to be like that. You've got a lot of purpose"

" T-thank you" I muttered unsure of what else to say

" What's your story?"

" M-my story?"

" Yup, start from as far back as you can remember and go forward form there"

" When I was alive I was the heiress to a clan of shinobi. But I wasn't strong enough and I was killed by someone I considered to be my older brother" I didn't mention any of my friends. I don't think I really could without sobbing. Just mentioning Neji-Niisan was amazingly hard

" I ended up in the slums. I'm not sure where-"

" I thought you said you were from Junrin'an" I ignored her.

" I was scared and confused, so I ran, I ended up in Junrin'an before an old woman took me in. A year later I joined the shinigami academy, and because of my military background in life I excelled. They skipped me from the first year class to the advanced sixth year class. "

"Everyone hated me for that. And even if I beat them all in every single spar, they would never accept that I was strong enough to be there. They would never accept me. "

" Then my class was given field training. Just killing hollow dummies. "

" But somehow a real hollow got in. it ran into me and my teammate and only friend. Inuzuka Rin" I took a deep breath. Trying to quell my tears.

" I was stupid. I tried to face the hollow and it knocked me out. I was about to be killed, and I accepted that. But-" tears welled up in my eyes I took a deep breath. Trying to prolong my ability to speak as long as possible.

" But Rin-she put herself in front of me. She died instead of me. Because of her I was able to survive the whole thing" my knee's pulled up. I wanted to cry. It was my fault that Rin had died.

" **What did we say about that Gaki-chan?" **Tako Hasu scolded

' _I know I know, we won't let Rin have died in vain by drowning in self pity' _I replied to her half heartedly.

" I don't think it was your fault" Rukia said quietly. She took a deep breath.

" As far as I'm concerned, it's not your fault unless you stab them through yourself" she said. Her voice was somber. And her eyes were swimming with memories. She laid down on the futon across from me.

" Rukia-san"

" Hm?" She grunted sleepily

" Why are you telling me all this?"

" Because you and me are very similar. You don't have many friends right?" I nodded

" Neither did I at first. But I think that we can be good friends Hinata."

" Than-"

" Oh and Hinata you may want to not hide your eyes" she mumbled

" Sorry, I can't. Too many people I care about have had to suffer because of these eyes" I smiled sadly.

' _I'm so sorry Neji-Nii, I'm sorry that your father had to die because of me. I'm sorry you had to suffer because of me' _

" **Gaki! What did I just say about blaming yourself?" **Tako Hasu stated angrily.

" Can I see 'em anyways?" she mumbled. I took off my hiate. I wouldn't be able to sleep with it on anyways.

" Pretty"

_**Sorry this is so short but it's really all that I could think of. But this is going to be the last chapter for a while. Starting on the twelfth I'll be going to sleep away camp, which means that I have no way of getting to the Internet. Or even word for that matter. I'm going to try and write down ideas over the summer but I won't be able to type them up. So I hope you enjoyed!**_


	14. New Starts And Old Promises

_**Hey everyone!!! Well this is the new chapter for change came but I had to die first. I'm sorry this took so long but updates are going to **_

_**be a bit odd until I'm finished with applying to high-school, but on the brighter side of that I do now own my own laptop so it'll be a little **_

_**bit easier than if I was still using the family computer. But anyways I thank WinterMission, Azelf1717, Fefisgbf13 , **_

_**Yorukifon,litewarior4, IYukiKitsune-chanI ,A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA Fairy,RosieLEK, Anniria, ItY'girl, AnimeMixDJ,**__**mishap,BK-Black **_

_**Knight,**__**candinaru25,**__**SinShu ,**__** for reviewing Forgotten in Darkness,litewarior4,Bluend(As an author, thanks so much!), **_

_**EternalxOblivion,Austin316v1,Forgotten in Darkness,Shiro-chan2012,WolfXArcher( Story and author thanks so much),AnimeMixDJ, **_

_**Ghost in the mirror,**__**mishap,**__**Kathuhrynne,**__**daewood321,X.-Neko-Chan.x.X,Leilani-chan:, nagozualdean, BK-Black Knight, ComicXArena, **_

_**.fergie20, Dark Angel Yuki, SinShu, , Exotic Eclipse, spoiled2theCore, Drake G. Reaper**__** for alerting and Austin316v1, NightmareSyndrom, **_

_**WolfXArcher( story and author), AnimeMixDJ( story and author thanks so much!),XxtearstainedangelxX.**__**daewood321, SinShu( story **_

_**and author!), KittyPersona, ..S., purplflower, Drake G.**_ _**Reaper, Hakumari, MorningflowerXGorsepaw, KoreanGal5, GoddessSumizofVenus**_

_**( as an author), shizukoyasu, Ruby x Dreamer**__** for favoriting! This chapter is dedicated to you all for being so supportive of this story!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN. GOT IT?**_

_**___________________________________________________________________**_

_**" **_Taicho, why the hell is this damned peasant the new third seat? "A tall and portly man sneered, pointing at me.

"Do I honestly have to explain myself to you Omeada?" the woman was the same one from yesterday, her voice still as full with contempt as before. She was about my height and of a petite build her deep gray eyes seemed to pierce through my hiate and through even my soul. Her hair reminded me of my own before I died, minus the two long cloth wrapped braids with rings on the end. She sighed

"Come here" he walked to her.

"Hai?" She promptly punched him in the face, sending him sprawling

"Do not question my orders Omeada." She stated. She turned to me

"And you, what's your name?"

"I-I'm H-Hyuuga Hinata, t-t-taicho"

" humph, I will tell you one thing and one thing only Hyuuga, while you are of this squad you will not have respect handed to you, not my respect or anyone else's, you will have to earn it, is that understood?"

"Hai"

"Very well, Omeada, show her what her duties are,"

"Of course Taicho! But I have one question"

"What?"

"Who is running the night patrol tonight, the officer that is supposed to is sick"

"She can do it" and with that she left.

"Man, you are unlucky peasant, Taicho's in a pretty bad mood "I stayed silent

"You mute or something?" He glared at me. I shook my head no.

"Then why the hell ain't you talking? Your superior officer is trying to have a conversation with ya and all ya do is shake your head! Talk about disrespectful"

"Sumimasen, I meant no disrespect" I replied automatically, that was what I was supposed to do right?

"Humph, whatever, come with me" he lead me into the forest. Another officer stood by what looked like an entrance

"Good afternoon fukitaicho! To what do we owe this honor!?"

"Just showing the new kid where she's gonna be working,"

"You mean that kid is our new third seat?"

"Apparently, leave you zanpakto here, ano-hm, what the hell's your name again?"

"Hyuuga" I said coldly slipping off Tako Hasu, and handing her to the unnamed officer

"Hyuuga?" he opened the door. Inside it was dark and damp, with only a few torches to light the place

"This is the maggots nest. It's where we keep people whose ideas are a threat to the seireitei" he began as we started down stairs that were set into the stone of the cave like 'maggots nest'

"What do you mean? 'People whose ideas are a threat'? You mean this is a political prison?" I did my best to keep my voice objective and curious, not as outraged as I thought it should be.

'_The branch is for those who are considered a threat to the main family' _my father's voice reminded me in my head

'_I thought that I had escaped that! Or is this type of thing everywhere?'_

"It's not. But that's not the point of this peasant"

"The point of this is this where you'll be spending your time. You're the warden of this place. If anyone causes any trouble, you have to subdue them with your bare hands. "And with that he left me in the cavernous room, that I now noticed had many people in it, all of them dressed in what looked like white yukatas

"**No wonder you were given this job, this right up your alley kid" **I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Tako Hasu's voice

'_H-how are you talking to me! You're miles above me!' _she began to laugh hysterically.

"**You think that would actually stop me!" **She laughed some more

'_It's not funny!' _

"**And anyways it's good practice. It strengthens your bond with me" **

'_I see, I guess I'll have a lot of time for that then, it doesn't seem like these people really want to break out of here.' _

"**I wouldn't be so sure about that Gaki-chan" **I looked up the prisoners, they were eyeing me curiously, one of the male prisoners approached me.

"Did they put you here too?" he asked, his voice

"No, I'm the guardian of this place" I did my best to sound soothing. I could see worry in his eyes which I now noticed were a pale shade of brown.

"The guardian? Y-you mean the new warden? w-what h-happened to Takuna-chan?" His voice was rising in worry. He was becoming more panicked

"Was she the previous guard here? I'm not sure what happened to her, my guess is she was put into another part of squad two" I said this calmly, I could see this man realistically attacking me, and in all honestly I'd rather not have to use jyuuken on him

"No she wasn't; s-she couldn't have been! S-she promised to stay here! She promised!"

"You liar! You killed her didn't you?"

"w-what?" A strange fear settled into my stomach. This man was acting in a way that suggested he was beyond rationality. No words I could say would stop him. A fragile piece of rock fell from the vibrations that his voice had caused, the shard is sharp.

"Liar! Takuna-Chan would never just go without telling me! I was her favorite!"

He leaned to the ground picking up the rock shard. Only a single thought entered my mind.

'_He's going to try and kill me' _I swallowed

"Gomen, I'd been hoping I wouldn't have to do this" I slipped into my jyuuken stance. He charged, faster than I had expected but I still managed to duck under the hand that held the rock-dagger I struck the pressure point that I knew would make him drop the weapon and then put a slight and weak burst of reistu into my palm as I struck the man in the abdomen. All the other prisoners gathered around a thought ran through my head

'_What would Neji-Nii do?' _And I did just that

"Let that be a lesson to you all" was all I said. The man lifted his head

"w-what was that attack? You barely hit me, yet it hurts so much" he trailed off clutching his stomach. I sighed.

" It's called Jyuuken, I didn't mean to put much into the attack my intention was only to disable you, not to hurt you , I know from experience how painful it is, suimimasen," I spoke more like the old me would've, the old me felt sympathy towards these people who could never leave this place. I closed my eyes even though I knew he couldn't see that.

" what's your name Gokuri-chan?"

"Hyuuga Hinata" I stated simply. Satisfied he walked away. But even after he was out of site I couldn't get myself to relax. Something about that had put me on edge. And it wouldn't go away.

LATER THAT NIGHT (just because I can't think of anything to happen in between)

I ran on top of the walls that separated the many streets of the seireitei, rejoicing at the exhilaration of speed, but also for the feeling of the cool, and no scratch that freezing, night air on my skin and for the soft clacking sound that my sandals make against the tiles.

In the back of my mind I feel guilty and small. But I try not to think about it. I want to enjoy life. Well, afterlife, I had to keep my mind in the present, if I only lamented over the past I would never be strong, and I would never make Rin's sacrifice worthwhile. If my mind was stuck in the past I would never be able to see tomorrow.

I had long since ran my assigned route but I didn't have to be back, not for a long time. So I made it my mission to find the best place for stargazing.

Not only because I loved it. But because it had been on Rin's list of things to once she became a shinigami. Along with going to squad six, and falling in love, and finding out her zanpakto's name, and many other things that I had found when they had let me go back to the academy for my personal belongings, which weren't much, just my comb and kunai, a brush for writing with that Baa-Chan had given me as a present when I had started academy, as well as a hair brush.

I was about to leave when a stray piece of paper had caught my eye. It had Rin's handwriting on it. Out of curiosity I had picked it up it had said _"things to do when I become a shinigami" _I hadn't read it all the way through but those were the ones that had stuck out to me. I hadn't known that Rin had liked stargazing. I looked around. A roof caught my attention. I jumped over to it. I nearly gasped. The view of the sky was amazing. Maybe not as good as the one from the top of the sokyoku but something told me that this was the place I was looking for.

"**Beautiful view, isn't it?" **Tako Hasu mused. I nodded sitting down not quite relaxed but not on edge at least. I let my Hiate drop

"Who are you and why are here" a voice made me jump to my feet. I closed my eyes lest the voice see them.

"s-s-sumimasen, I'll leave if you'd like me to, I just stopped here to-"

"Matte, Hinata is that you? "Realization dawned on me. It was Toushiro. A smile crept onto my face. I opened my eyes. I walked forward and hugged him tightly. Breathing in deeply. Again, steam, cold, wood, paper and ink filled my senses. He chuckled.

"I'll take that as a yes" I released him. A heavy blush sunk into my oddly numb cheeks. My heart was pounding. And I couldn't stop shivering. Only now do I notice the fact that I'm freezing. Toushiro smirked,

"Cold?"

" a-a little bit, but I can't imagine why.." I trailed off.

'_Tako Hasu?' _She doesn't answer. Why wasn't she answering?

"Hinata?" my head snapped up, even though I hadn't realized it had been bent in the first place.

"Something wrong?" I shook my head

"Here, It's not much but you seem to need it more than me" he wrapped his Taicho's haori around me, it was a little too big on me but it was amazingly warm. He had already sat down. He patted the space next to him. I sat down next to him there was maybe an inch wide space between us. Something struck me.

"T-Toushiro, a-aren't you cold?"

"No, I have an ice type zanpakto, I don't get cold. "

"But that doesn't make sense, Tako Hasu is an ice type too, but I still feel freezing" he shrugged. Then pulled me closer to him, just so our legs were touching.

"Why did you come here?" I felt my eyes widen slightly

"I was looking for a good place to look at the stars" I answered truthfully. I gulped. Work could keep my mind occupied during the day. But at night if I wasn't running, my mind could wander, and by wander I meant I had time to think about Rin, about everyone.

" _Hinata-sama?" His voice had been quiet, sad that day. I tried to be happy for him. And for one half of sometimes it worked, sometimes he smiled too. But like the other half of sometimes, today he couldn't get the death of his father out of his head_

"_Yes Neji-Nii?" We had been sitting together that day looking at the sunset._

"_Have you ever wished to be something else besides human?" I had just cocked my head to the side in confusion, I hadn't understood. He smiled_

"_Here let me say that differently, if you were an animal what you would be" _

"_I don't know, what would you be Nii-san?" _

"_I would be a bird, because birds can fly freely, whatever they want to do they can without fear of getting hurt, You Hinata-Sama?" He smiled looking up at the sky. I could tell that in his mind he was flying high and free, with his brow proud and unmarked. _

"_I'd be a bird too, so that I could go everywhere Nii-san went, so that we could fly together, and be better siblings then our fathers ever were." We had both just smiled at that. _

"_Do you promise that Hinata-Sama?" I nodded _

"_a-huh! I pinky promise that I'll do my best to never ever hurt you!" I had smiled so wide that day, like I had seen Naruto do when he made promises. I held out my pinky out to him. He linked his pinky with my own. _

"_It's a promise" _

"Hinata?" I snapped back into reality. A stinging pain in my cheek caught my attention. Tears, they were dripping onto the cut on my cheek, the salty liquid seeping through bandage and the scab and finally into the raw cut underneath. I rubbed at my eyes to stop the tears but that only rubbed them deeper into the cut. I sniffed, realizing it was utterly meaningless to wipe away tears that had been a long time coming.

"Why? Why did we break our promise? We promised we'd never hurt each other, we promised, didn't we?" I ask it out loud. just in case all the way back home in Konoha he can still hear me.

"Who promised?" Toushiro broke into my self-questioning I tried to clear up my voice enough to speak clearly, but the effort was again meaningless.

"N-"my breath hitched as my throat closed, making me unable to finish his name.

"Neji" my throat closing once again. Making it impossible to speak

"Neji?" Neji's name sounded foreign on his tongue. I nodded. Trying once more to staunch the flow of tears from my eyes. This time it wasn't so meaningless. I sniffed again. My eyes burned, and I was sure that they were red and puffy. Toushiro was staring at the roof tiles

"Toushiro?" Even though he was in physical contact with me, he felt far away. Like he was intangible I touched his forehead. Just to check that he was indeed real, and that this wasn't some sick, yet beautiful dream, sure enough it was real, warm and I could feel the pulsing veins that ran so close to the surface of his skin his brow was furrowed, making the skin on his forehead bunch up. So unlike the fading warmth and smooth skin of my Kaa-Chan's forehead. Toushiro grabbed my wrist.

"Hinata?" he turned his entire body towards me. His eyes were filled with hurt. I nodded. He hugged me tightly, possessively even. His grip was too tight for me to even move my arms to hug him back.

"Please don't cry" he whispered into my ear. I felt guilt well up inside my chest

"Gomenasai" I whispered into his own ear. My cheek was touching his, but my customary blush seemed to have abandoned me for the moment. He loosened his grip on me. His right hand reaching up to stroke the bandage on my cheek. His eyes were filled with regret.

"Don't be sorry, if there is anyone who should be sorry it's me. I didn't get there in time to keep you from getting hurt. "

"w-w-what are you talking about, you saved me!" I raised my voice. Hoping the slight raise in volume would knock some sense into him.

"**Now you know how I feel" **Tako Hasu muttered, making her second appearance of the night.

'_Tako Hasu! That isn't the point of anything! Ugh! I don't know what to say or what to do! What the hell do I say to that? It wasn't his fault! It was mine! I should've just ran, but I stayed and fought, and because of that Rin died' _I couldn't help how my thoughts slipped out my lips in exact words

"It wasn't your fault, it was mine, I should've just ran, but I stayed and fought, and because of that Rin is dead. " I felt tears coming to my eyes, I tried to blink them back as I wiped at my eyes but it was hard to keep back my tears. I didn't want to keep getting in the way; I wanted to stop hurting people.

"Why am I so damned useless?" Again I can't help the broken words that slip from my mouth. I didn't feel useless when I fought, when I ran, when I thought about Toushiro, when I was with him, kissing him, hugging him. But when I let myself drift into the past I couldn't help but see a thousand ways I could've done better.

"You're not useless Hinata, not to me, and not to anyone else" his voice was firm, yet soft. He again lifted his finger to stroke my cheek, but this time he stoked my hair. His fingertips were worn like the pads of a snow tiger's paw. And they felt blazing hot against my cheek when my hair was pushed against it.

Freezing to the eye yet so hot to the touch, so much like the stars I liked to watch, they looked like little pricks of glowing ice in the night sky, yet I also knew that they were burning balls of gas millions and millions of miles away.

"I-I gomenasai" again, I felt guilty. Guilty and childish.

I raised my own hand and touched the curve of his jaw, still baby round. His cheekbones still under a small layer of baby fat that had yet to melt away. The sharp ridge of his silver eyebrows and the hard bone underneath, contrasting with the soft, silky feel of his eyebrows beneath my fingertips. And just above that I knew that his forehead was now soft and unfurrowed, the pulsing veins underneath marking his heartbeat. His temple so fragile that I felt like if I pressed to hard I'd break the skin and the vein, accidently killing him.

'_I wonder if he notices things like that when he touches my cheek '_

"It's late, your squad is probably wondering where you got off to" he said softly, like he didn't quite want to part, but he knew that duty came first in both of our minds. I nodded. Draping his haori over his shoulders.

" I'll come back tomorrow" I whispered. He nodded. I tied my Hiate around my eyes again before running off to second squad.

_**Well then, you know the routine please read and review and I'll get to work on the next chapter ASAP! See you all next time!**_


	15. Reminders And What Started It All

_**Hey minna! I promised I'd update ASAP so here it is ( though this isn't as ASAP as I would've liked it to have been but I do have a ligitimant reason that I will explain at the end of the chapter)! Oh. And just a note. This chapter is set about 2 months later. Just because I don't feel like writing a chapter for each day of Hinata's life. That would one be insanely long winded, two be boring,and three I'm just too lazy to write all that. Oh and before you read this go back to chapter seven because I recently replaced it. ( those of you who read " My Lavender Lily" will rememberit ) that and I have some rethought pairings at the end of this chapters ( almost all of them are crack-a-licous). okay, now that I'm done rambling I thank AnimeMixDJ, Starember19, Fefisgbf13 , Azelf1717, WinterMission, xxHinaAngelxx ( by the by, good luck with highschool honey!) ,red-volpe,GoddessSumizofVenus for reviewing red-volpe,yashi14,Demon2Angel,  
for favoriting and GakuenAngel12,,Fake Bliss, Asarin159,prinsesblu2 for alerting. Well then, I guess it's disclaimer time!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN! **_

_**PS. By the by, KoreanGal5 get's a special shout out for starting her own crossover! ( you can totally use some of my ideas if you want to hon! just not too much of them!)**_

" Hyuuga" Soi-Fong Taicho's voice rang out behind me as I rushed through the second squad's many raised wooden corridors to the maggot's nest where I had been working each day. And after I was done with that I did kido training with Momo-chan , after spending time with her I had found that we clicked. We were steadily becoming closer.

" Hai Soi-Fong Taicho?"

" I need you to deliver these documents to squad thirteen " Soi-Fong Taicho had her own way of making every simple task seem to be of the greatest importance.

" o-of course" I bowed. She handed me the paperwork. I walked towards the Thirteenth squad's barracks. After fifteen minutes of searching ( unsuccessfully) for the office I ran into Rukia. Quite literally. She had been running at full speed so when she rammed into me she sent both me and the paper work I was supposed to be delivering flying. I had bounce off the floor once before banging my head on the wall.

" sumimasen, I wasn't looking where I was-" I apologize immeditlly even though it wasn't really my fault. My voice sounds

" Hey Hinata-chan!" Rukia smiled brightly.

" jeez, sorry about that." She said surveying the dazed look on my face that came from hitting the wall with the side of one's head.

" eh, you feeling okay?" I nodded blinking away the dizziness. I began to pick up the papers.

" oh here, I'll help" Rukia began to gather the stray pages as well. After another five minutes of comfortable silence and stacking papers. Too soon the papers were all stacked. And the silence between us became awkward.

" a-ano, Ku-Rukia, would you mind showing me where the office is? My taicho asked me to deliver these" I still kept wanting to call her Kuchiki-sama. If only lessons on being proper weren't so ingrained into my character.

" huh? Sure Hinata. I was actually about to go there as well" as we walked towards the office. That was in fact in the opposite direction then the one I had been heading. I knocked on the door.

" come in" a voice that I had now placed as Ukitake-Taicho's. I opened the paper door gingerly. Like my Kaa-chan had always taught me to.

" Soi-Fong Taicho, asked me to deliver these" I explained. Placing the pile of papers on the desk.

" ah yes, Soi-Fong was always one to get things done right away" he mused, I was about to turn around and leave ,

" ah, matte, Hinata-san. " I turned back around. He reminded me of Iruka-sensei , always willing to do something extra for the little one who was lagging behind, but still a comptent ninja and stern when he needed to be.

" hai?" he dropped a piece of candy into my hand.

" think of it as an reward for a job well done" he winked. Yes, very Iruka-Sensei like. He had always given me little rewards for getting the best scores or staying after when I could. Things like a coupon for a free bowl of ramen at Ichiraku's ( I mostly gave those to either Hanabi or Naruto who liked ramen more then me) sometimes it was a book that I hadn't yet read. Sometimes his small gift was the same as Ukitake Taicho's, a small piece of candy. Iruka-sensei was more my loving father figure then anyone else.

" a-arigato Ukitake-taicho"

" it's not a problem, you're the only one who actually accepts sweets anyways"

" who else do you give sweets to?" I nearly slapped myself for questioning a taicho in such a way.

" Hitsugaya-kun, but unfortunetly he doesn't have a real taste for sweets"

"oh, I see, have a good day Ukitake-Taicho" I left the office. As I looked at the piece of candy, it was hard candy, and it was strawberry flavored. Neji-Nii's favorite, my favorite too.

" _Nii-san! " the day was hot and sticky, after all it was July, and it wasn't just any day in July, it was July third. It was Neji's fifth birthday. Behind my back I had a box, it was wrapped in green tissue paper and a clumsy blue bow._

" _yes Hinata-sama?" a curious look adorned his face. _

" _happy birthday!" I held the box out to him. _

" _oh, that's right it's my birthday isn't it?" he mused, mostly to himself_

" _I-I'm sorry Hinata-sama, but I don't really feel like celebrating today" he stated in a sad voice. _

" _s'okay, " I replied. I hated when he was sad. It made me feel guilty, I knew he was sad because his father was in heaven. Because I knew it was my fault. _

" _what's this about not wanting to celebrate?" Kaa-chan piped up. She too was carrying something behind her back. _

" _H-Haruka-sama!"_

" _Hey, hey, hey stuttering is Nata-chibi's thing, no one likes a copy-cat Neji-chan!" I blushed. Looking down. She laughed, her laugh back then was easy, care free. She grabbed both my wrist and Neji's. _

" _Come on you two" we followed her without question. She took us to the small cemetery. _

" _this is-" _

" _don't you think that your Tou-sama would've wanted to see you turn five?" she stated in a sure tone. Neji nodded, rare tears in his eyes. _

" _well then, let's get this thing started!" she said happily. Handing a bag to Neji. it was tied closed with a green ribbon. Neji pulled at the ribbon undoing the knot. He took a peek inside. Gingerly removing one of the pieces of candy that lay inside. I nearly winced, I knew for a fact that Neji didn't like candy. He said that they were too sweet for him. He unwrapped one just to be polite. As he put it in his mouth he smiled. _

" _arigato gozaimasu, Haruka-sama! These are tasty" she smiled.  
" I thought you'd like them, Nata-Chibi It's your turn" I placed my box in front of Neji. feeling suddenly inferior. My Kaa-chan had always made me feel like I wasn't nearly as good as I could be. He untied the ribbon, making quick work of my messy bow. He opened the box. In the box were special bandages that I had soaked in an herb mixture that my Kaa-chan had taught me that releived the headaches the seal sometimes caused. I had also included a healing ointment that I had also been taught how to make. The same type of ointment that I would later give to Naruto. _

" _h-here" I had said this in a rare moment of boldness. I undid the bandages that were wrapped around his forehead before replacing them with the ones from the present. His expression was one of confusion. He touched his forehead gingerly. He looked to me for an explanation._

" _the bandages are soaked in some herbs that help stop the headaches" he smiled one of his big bright smiles._

" _Arigato, Hinata-sama, Truly" _

" _what does truly mean, Neji-Niisan?" he blinked. _

" _ano, do you know what the word truth means?" I nodded_

" _yup! That's the opposite of a lie. R-right?" he nodded_

" _truly is sorta a stronger form of really"_

" _but what's that got to do with the truth?" _

" _I'm not sure" _

So when Iruka-sensei gave me a strawberry hard candy. I'd always leave it outside the door of Neji's room. Even after he had begun to hate me, Even though they were my favorite too.

" truly huh?" I muttered to nobody but myself as I ran back to second squad.

' _did you truly mean it when you said once a failure always a failure? Because then, you'd be wrong. I'm not considered a failure now. But I guess, you've always had a different definition of failure. Am I still a failure in your eyes?' _

As I walked back to my squad, I couldn't help but think about things like that. Maybe it was normal, maybe not. Days are spent as Hyuuga, the cold young prodigy. Nights spent as Nata, who was something to Hitsugaya Toushiro, the other cold child prodigy.

8 months later

" congrationaltions Rukia!" I hugged her tightly. over the eight months I'd known her we had become close friends. just as close as me and Rin had been nearly as close as me and Neji and I had been.

We both tried to see each other as often as possible; but of course it was hard. We were both shinigami, Rukia often being stuck with paperwork when Ukitake-taicho was sick and myself stuck in the maggots nest most of the time, either that or I was at either fifth or fourth squad. learning kido from both Hanataro and Hinamori.

But when we were together we shared a deep friendship. she truely was my best friend. and she had just gotten her first solo mission. but she seemed sad.

" Rukia, you just got your first solo mission, whats the matter?"

" It's nothing Hinata, I'm just scared I'll mess it up is all" a lie. she wasn't scared of messing it up. Something else was on her mind. but decided not prod. Rukia's secrets were Rukia's secrets. I wasn't going to pry into something that could be painful.

" don't worry Rukia, you're going to do great" I pat her on the shoulder. letting my hand linger for an extra second. I won't be able to see her for another month. maybe more. she smiled.

" I hope so" was the last thing she said before disappearing through the senkaimon.

_**uggh! this is short and late I know but next chapter we get into the actual bleach series! but before I go I'll show you some re-thought pairings. **_

_**Neji X Soi Fong. ( yes I know crack-a-licous but I love it! )**_

_**Naruto X Hinamori ( um, a little bit of a random idea. I think that Hinamori and Naruto would get along)**_

_**Orihime X Sasuke ( again. CRACK-A-LICOUS!)**_

_**Hanabi X Hanataro ( just because the abbreviation is funny HanaHana!) **_

_**I'll give the full list next chapter! also my reason for being late with this chapter. well since I got my new laptop ( YES! WIN) the word program on it was only a trial. so I couldn't type anything for about a week. then it took me awhile to install so I'm really sorry about that. and about the spelling errors in this chapter. spell check hates me at the moment. but anyways here's your chapter!!!**_


	16. Simularities And Simple Beauty

_**Hey everybody! Umm, in an attempt to make this the first on time update since about May or April (though that might have been due to the fact that I had strep for a week at that point) so once again being sick I decided to start on this. This time only an hour's worth of sleep was the culprit. Yes, that is enough to make you sick. Not majorly sick but sick none the less. But anyways on with the chapter! Oh and when hell butterflies speak it looks like **__"this"_

"What! I've never heard of such a thing!" A female voice scandalized. I knew she was in second squad. But her name escaped me. Curiosity got the better of me.

"Never heard of what?" I asked in a cold voice. That tone came without any real permission. Her muscles tensed as if she was about to jump, but she reined herself in before the aforementioned reaction occurred.

"I-I'm not really sure why _you'd_ care all that much, but I heard that Kuchiki Rukia transferred her powers to a _human_" my eyebrows rose. Having learned what I wanted to know I walked from her.

'_What the hell did you get yourself into…? Rukia?' _I nearly sighed. But contained myself. I tried to constrain such releases of emotion in public, it made me look childish, something I tried not to be because people viewed me as enough of a child already.

I absentmindedly noted the hell butterfly that was wafting towards me. I always had held an appreciation for the creatures. Though most viewed them as annoying, interrupting ones personal life with their messages. But I liked them; I loved their black and fuchsia coloring. I thought they were beautiful messengers, and they were far less annoying then the messengers of the stealth force. They did not feel the need to make all announcements at full volume.

The black and fuchsia butterfly of my earlier thoughts fluttered impatiently in front of me. I lifted my finger so it could land. I giggled softly at the light touch of the insect messenger's tiny legs against my skin.

"_Third seat of second squad, Hyuuga Hinata report to your taicho's office immediately." _I nodded to the butterfly; it understood instantly and wafted away. Another thing about hell butterflies that I liked. They always went away right when you wanted them to.

I remembered one time I had seen a hell butterfly that had no message. Perhaps it had already delivered it. I had held out my finger and it had tagged along with me for awhile.

"Third seat of squad two Hyuuga Hinata reporting! Is Soi-Fong Taicho present?" I rattled off the sentence that had to be said before entering the office of a taicho.

"Enter" she replied, her voice lacking none of her usual venom.

I entered the office, quickly seating myself on one of the mats in the room. She cast an annoyed glance at me, as if I was a bug she wanted to kill. She made me feel tiny and inferior. Soi-fong taicho exhaled suddenly in what could only be a sigh

"Well, may as well get this over with"

"An unseated officer of squad thirteen was sent to a town in the real world called Kurakura because of the area's large concentration of both souls and hollows" she began what seemed like a very long explanation. Most of which I might already know.

"She transferred her power into a human. The taicho and fukitaicho of squad six are going to the town to apprehend her. You are to take over her post until we find another officer; you will leave in about an hour. You have that time to say goodbye, and get yourself together. That is all" I nodded.

Leaving her office and running towards my quarters. I didn't really have much to pack.Just Tako-Hasu my kunai and my comb. I sent a letter to both Hinamori and Hanataro. I wouldn't have time to see them.

'_Damn it Rukia! What the hell did you get yourself into? 'I_ clenched my fist. Transferring powers into a human was a capital offence. She would be captured. Then executed. She would die. She would die.

'_Kuso! Why do so many of my precious people condemn themselves to death?' _

'_Kaa-chan, Neji-Nii's Tou-san, Rin, and now Rukia-chan too?' _I sighed. I had to get going.

I wondered idly what this Kurakura town was like. Was it like Konaha? Or was it different. Maybe I could get a gigai and eat a bowl of ramen. I hadn't had any since before I died, me, Shino and Kiba had gotten a bowl of ichiraku's as a form of self congratulations. Kiba had gotten beef, Shino chicken and myself miso. I smiled as I remembered how the scalding broth had felt and tasted as it slithered down my throat.

"_And what would you three like?" Ayame (sp?) the shop-owner's daughter asked. _

"_Beef!" Kiba said exuberantly. _

"_I would like chicken please" Shino's more subdue tone contrasted greatly with Kiba's. _

"_M-m-miso please" I ordered last, like usual. Ayame smiled. _

"_Tou-san! One beef one chicken and one miso please!" she called back to her father, who had taken to the kitchen for the day instead of his daughter. _

"_Your orders will be ready in a moment" we all nodded. _

"_So Hinata-Chan! Are you ready for the next part of the chunin exams?" Kiba asked. His tone one of the pure definitions of curious._

"_I-I um, I'm not really that sure" I admitted quietly. Kiba patted me on the back. _

"_You're ready Hinata! If you just believe that you're ready you will be!" I blinked. _

"_a-a-arigato Kiba-kun" Ayame set our bowls down in front of us. I smiled at my bowl. Breathing in deeply catching the deep fishy scent of the miso. _

"_Ikidakimasu!" we all said it in unison breaking our chopsticks with practiced precision me and Shino using chakra, Kiba dug his sharp nails into the wood breaking the chopsticks._

_Kiba downed his ramen quickly. He fed Akamaru the last piece of beef. I ate my ramen slower. Enjoying how the broth coated my taste buds in a warm fishy taste. And not a bad type of fishy either, a tempered sort of fishy, tempered by the slight salt of the ocean, by the seaweed and by the small chunks of tofu, and of course the fishiness of the small fish cakes that Naruto was named for._

_All in all, a great bowl of ramen. I didn't really eat ramen very often, mostly because I feared that if I ate it too much it'd loose its novelty. That it'd loose that special touch._

_Like so many things did. Kind of how the creams I make no longer rouse up small memories of my Kaa-chan, now they are just simple healing ointments. How the wood of my mother's writing brush no longer feels like her hands. How her hairbrush no longer smells like her. How things fall apart and fade away. _

"_Hinata? Kiba tapped my shoulder. I blinked. My ramen was finished. _

"_You feel okay?" I nodded plastering a smile over my face. _

"_Yup! Don't worry about me" he looked at me searchingly before walking away. I walked towards my home. _

_My thoughts looking at things that had lost their novelty. And remember thinking of the last thing that had lost its novelty. _

"Neji-Niisan's frowns have lost their novelty" I say this last thing out loud by accident. I blushed. Hoping nobody heard.

I walked towards the senkaimon.

"Hinata-san? What are you doing here?" Renji piped up as soon as he saw me. Kuchiki-Taicho merely raised his eyebrow in mild interest. Or maybe he was bored.

It was hard to tell. I could read Toushiro's mood by his many combinations of eye brow raises and the shadows or lack thereof in his eyes. But Kuchiki Byakuya was a different creature entirely. I bowed.

"I was told by Soi-Fong Taicho that I would be taking over Kuchiki Rukia-san's post until they found someone else to take it over permanently Abarai-Fukitaicho dono"

"Ugh, don't be so formal. I've only just become a fukitaicho, Hinata-san. For the love of kami just call me Renji"

"D-demo, you are -"

"Renji "he finished the sentence for me.

"I don't see why you're so dead set on formalities" he mused out loud. I shrugged as we walked into the portal. I blinked. It was dark. Extremely so. But I kept running along with Kuchiki-Taicho and Renji. I ran towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Ignoring the bones and straw that were being crushed by my footsteps. Kuchiki-Taicho raised a hand as a signal to stop.

"Abarai you are to come with me and apprehend Rukia, Hyuuga you are not to interfere with this matter" I nodded and bowed

"Of course Kuchiki-sama" I said it softly. I was nearly happy that I had been left out. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to raise a hand to Rukia. Let alone my blade.

"**Gaki-chan, let's hide for a bit. I don't think you really want to be in sight for this one. You might lose control of yourself" **I swallowed. Acknowledging the truth of her words. I ran in the opposite direction of Renji. Confusion pushing me forward. No. pushing me away. I hadn't run like this in a long time.

I was so confused. I didn't get it. I didn't get it! I collapsed against a tree, my breath coming in pants. Not even because I was tired. Because I was scared. Because I was alone again. I was alone again. I sighed. I really was useless when it came to keeping friends.

"**Renji's your friend isn't he? He's helped you unlock a lot more of your shikai" **

"I guess so" I answered her out loud. I held my head between my knees.

'_Rukia, I-I'm not sure I have so much purpose anymore. I try to fight for my friends. But now… I'm not allowed to help you' _

"**Hinata " **

"**You may not be able to help her now. But you can help the friends that she left behind" **I nodded. I started to walk back towards Renji's flaring reistu. I smirked.

'_Whoever Rukia gave her powers to sure is strong. If Renji's having trouble.' _Kuchiki-Taicho's reistu spiked ever so lightly, only a moment later one of the reistu's coming from the area dropped drastically it was nearly gone. And what remained was starting to fade.

"**Perhaps he is strong, but such a newbie wouldn't match up to a fukitaicho. And especially not a taicho" **Tako Hasu stated sadly.

I looked at the scene before me. Rukia was bleeding from a slash on her cheek. Renji bled from a splash his forehead. A dark haired human was lying on the ground. Conscious but unable to do anything. But worst off was an orange haired man in shinigami clothing. Blood was pooled around him; his broken zanpakto was clutched in his hand.

Tears welled in my eyes as it began to rain. He looked so much like Naruto-Kun. I looked to Rukia. Hoping that she could see my emotions, like she usually could when she was upset. She looked at me. Her emotions mirroring my own as she disappeared. Fear, regret, and confusion. As soon as the gate closed I let Tears run down my face. Mixing with the rain.

**Ishida' point of view**

I lifted my head. There was a girl I hadn't noticed before. Her hair color was close to my own. A deep midnight blue.

Her skin is delicate porcelain, only one blemish exists on it and that is caused by a thin scar that traces from the corner of her round face to her cheekbone.

The scar isn't ugly. And it takes nothing away from her. If anything it draws attention to her cheekbones that are still hiding under a layer of baby fat that had yet to melt away.

The scar is a thin pale pink indent against porcelain. As if the experienced doll maker that created her had let her cry a single pink tear.

I can't see her eyes; they are obscured by her shaggy bangs. Now that I look closer she's also wearing some sort of blindfold over eyes as well.

'_Is she blind?' _She begins to walk towards me. For a moment I forget how beautiful she is. Fight or flight instincts taking over. Or perhaps my old hatred of Shinigami had only just kicked in.

"You going to finish what they started?" she stayed silent; she just kept silent as if I had said nothing at all.

She began to lift me into a sitting position, the touch though no unpleasant wasn't exactly welcome either.

My hand moved of its own accord, slapping the porcelain shinigami across the face. She didn't let go, if anything she held on blindfold clattered a couple inches away. She blinks slowly she's not even looking at me but I can see her eyes, and what a pair of eyes they are.

Her eyes are nearly as pale as her skin, only slightly too large for her face, they are blank lavender pools that are filled with over spilling tears. Why was she crying? Was it because I had slapped her? Or was it something else?

She finished lifting me to a sitting position; she picked up her headband and tied it loosely around her neck. I can hear her small swallow, and her deep breath.

"What are you? "Her voice is a pleasant soprano.

"A Quincy" she smiled slightly

"I see. Gomenasai, Quincy-kun. But I promise I won't hurt you. Would you feel more comfortable if I took off my zanpakto?" I wasn't even sure what she was apologizing for. Was she apologizing for what was done to my people?Or for the fact that her nakama had hurt me? I just nodded; she placed her katana on the ground. Just out of her own reach.

"Why are you helping me? It's plain enough that you're a shinigami, shinigami and Quincy's are enemies" she sighed.

"You've done nothing to me, I don't believe in hurting those who have done nothing to you" she stated. Her conviction surprised me. It reminded me of Kurosaki in a way. Shit. Kurosaki. His reistu was getting dim. Very very dim.

"What about Kurosaki?" she blinked. Glancing over to him.

"Is that the orange-haired boy's name?" I nodded

"Ah, His name is Kurosaki Ichigo" I had no idea why I told her his full name. I had no reason to. If anything I shouldn't have.

"Both named for my favorite foods, both have spiky hair. How odd" she murmured to herself.

"Huh?"

"Strawberry hard candy and miso ramen" she replied. As if that explained anything.

She kneeled down by Kurosaki. Her hands glowed a soft green. It illuminated her face, making the scar (that I now noticed continued to the corner of her eye)I now also noticed the veins near her eyes were raised. As if too much blood was filling them.

I was vaguely worried for a moment. But it went away quickly. Something about her made her seem intangible, and not just because she was a ghost. Intangible, in a way that saved her. Saved her from hurt, from suffering.

An intangible that saved her from being hurt. Ironic when I actually thought of it. She had a scar that when from chin to eye for kami's sake! Something had to have given her that.

"And as for your friend he'll be fine. Kuchiki Taicho was aiming for his sanketsu chain and hakusui soul sleep but he missed. Not by much, but he missed none the less, and anyway, Urahara will be here soon anyways"

"H-How do you know about Urahara-san? "She giggled a little bit.

I'm suddenly reminded of the tinkling of bells. That and afternoons with my grandfather. His deep laugh that contrasted so much with my light childish one. Her laugh was like mine used to be. Happy and childish.

"My taicho hates that man with a fervor that she usually reserves for her former taicho" she said it so casually.

"What's your name, Quincy-Kun?"

"Huh?" I nearly smacked myself.

'_You Ishida Uyruu are smooth with the ladies! A girl you think is beautiful asks you your name and you say huh? Pathetic. Truly pathetic' _

"I-I just feel odd calling you Quincy-Kun is all" a blush coated her cheeks. her blush isn't pink like I'd though it'd be. it is a rash, apple red. but somehow it fits her

"It's Ishida, Ishida Uyruu"

"Uyruu" My name sounded nice on her tongue as she murmured it under her breath.

She held out her hand. They are slim, but well formed, small in every aspect, but somehow I got the feeling that she was not as fragile as her hands made her seem. The fingers are slim but not bony. Decently sized oval nails have a rosy glow to them.

I shook her hand. They feel odd against my own. They are not soft, yet they aren't callous either. They are smooth, but oddly worn at the same time. Like a skipping stone that fits perfectly into the crook of one's curved fingers, so familiar, smooth enough to skip over the water, yet still worn. Her hands were unique. Like she was I suppose.

"I'm Hyuuga, Hyuuga Hinata, It's nice to know your name, Uyruu-kun, or would you prefer Ishida?" I shook my head.

"No, Uyruu-kun is fine, Hinata-chan" I liked her name. It fit her. A name simple but beautiful. It was true. Though her beauty was exotic, but also simple. An odd type of simple, but simple none the less.

"Ja ne, Uyruu-kun" her smile is so soft. It closes her eyes into half circles. It makes me feel comforted. Like a warm blanket. She disappears taking her katana with her.

_**Okay! How was that! Yes, I know, IshiHina is slightly odd, but hey it was really fun to write! Description is some of the best stuff to write. (Why I write a lot of it) but I really like love shapes, (like love triangles, but larger) that and please review!! Oh and here is a list of people who paid attention**_

_**Review: A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA- Fairy, alyssakuga, KoreanGal5, daewood321 (reviewed chapter 15, sorry about that!) fergie20 (chapter 15...again... sorry?) **_

_**Favorite: Lady Chiyoko, LadiiReckless, ratluva16, knightlygirl, Gettenshi (as an author as well, thanks so much!) HinataDelDesiertoUchija **_

_**Thanks so much for your attention it's much appreciated! More than you can imagine, I love you all and your encouragement. **_


	17. Teaching And Bells

_**Hey! Well I'm back, and my muse is now once again thriving! ( you all better knock on wood, wouldn't want to jinx it now would we? ) so anyways thanks so much for the support and especially all the reviews for the last chapter! So anyways the people who showed their love ( reviewing favoriting ect.) will be listed at the end of the chapter. So anyways on with the chapter! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: nope, I don't own Bleach or Naruto people., If I did, well this story would be the plot. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that now would you?**_

_**NOTE DE DEDICATION: hey xxHinaAngelxx this is a present for you because we updated on the same night! It's great to see you back Ina-sempai!**_

Hinata's point of view

I looked at the small shop that by the name, Urahara Shoten, I knew that Kisuke Urahara owned. I took a deep breath.

' _you shouldn't be doing this' _

' _your disobeying orders' _

' _what if your caught?' _

' _do you even care?' _

" No, I don't care. Rukia is one of my precious people. I'll do anything I can to help save her" I whispered to myself as I opened the door.

" ah, I see you've found my humble candy shop Hyuuga Hinata-chan" A voice that dripped with mysteriousness called from the corner. I looked over. He was dressed in green, trodtional clothing. The only non-trodtional item in his esemble was a white and green stripped bucket hat that cast his eyes in shadow. What a clever trick. Too bad I looked terrible in bucket hats.

" I'll take it you're Kisuke Urahara then?" I stated in a cold voice

" Bingo!" He exclaimed__putting out his thumbs up, in a pose that was dangerously close to Gai-sensei's ' Nice Guy' pose.

" I can see why Soi-Fong Taicho didn't like you"

" ah! Little bee is a Taicho now! I should've guessed!"

' _little… bee? No wonder she hates this guy, if I ever called her that my body wouldn't ever be found' _

" oh and by the by Hyuuga-chan, Thank you very much for healing Kurosaki-san's wounds, He'd probably be dead if not for you"

" don't thank me" I said shortly.

" and why shouldn't I?"

" That's simple. You can thank me later, After I help you with his training" I smiled a bit. Mostly at the fact that I would get to train. Not only did I like to train, but I got to train with another living breathing person!

" well, then. I'll take you up on that offer. I myself need to get in contact with an old friend" I nodded. Though Soi-Fong Taicho hated the man. I liked him. He seemed to know what he was doing. But was also nonchalant about it. He reminded me vaugly of Sandaime-Ojiisan.

" But I can however take the time to introduce you both to each other" his voice was slightly someber. I shrugged, I supposed that he had many memories with this old friend of his, I suppose my voice got like that too when I talked of my friends.

" follow me Hyuuga-Chan!" he stated brightly. I complied, following him down a trapdoor that lead to a larger rocky underground training room. The high ceeling was painted to like a blue sky. I jumped down. Bypassing the ladder purely for the exhileration of falling, my robes fluttered around me. the wind rushed pass my skin, the touch is savored like the touch of an old and close friend . I landed, fixing my uniform slightly before continuing.

" kurosaki-san!" an orange head poked out.

' hey hat n' clog's who's the kid?" My eyebrow twitched.

" You shouldn't dimiss her so easily Kurosaki-san, she saved your life" his deep brown eyes are completely oblivious. Just like Naruto's were when Iruka sensei mentioned that a paper was due.

" she did?"

" yep! If it weren't for her healing your wounds you wouldn't be here right now!"

" I thought you healed my wounds"

" Nope!" the orange haired boy sweat dropped.

" well then, I'll leaving! You two get aquainted and then get training, I have something to do!" and with that he left.

" Damn hat n' clogs, leaving me with some kid" a tick mark appeared on my temple.

" I'm not a kid" I say it as calmly as I can.

" Whatever, I'm not fighting some ten year-old, it's against my morals. Go home Shinigami-Chibi"

" _**So this is where you were hiding, Shinigami-Chibi" **__I felt my tears freeze in my throat. I could barely get my muscles to respond after I managed to get Tako Hasu into my trembling hands. My heart stopped. Everything stopped. My heart, my breath, my tears, my emotions. Nothing but fear existed choking my existence. Only one thought crossed my head._

'_I'm going to die' _

" _**You going to do something Shinigami-Chibi?" **__I suppose he took my stillness as a no_

" _**Oh, I was sorta hoping for a good fight from you, oh well. A meal is a meal either way. " **__I was still frozen. I felt a more familiar presence coming closer, but I was too muddled to find out the reason for the familiarity. I felt the hollow's hand close around my throat. I felt my muscles kick into gear but soon enough I had no strength left._

_I had no oxygen left._

_I had no life left._

_I had no heart left._

_I had no friends left_

_I had no family left._

_It was all gone. Nothing was left._

Fear from that moment crushed my lungs. Anger , deep and profound anger coursed up in it's wake.

" Never. Ever. Call me that. You understand?" My voice is taunt with emotions that spill from every pore in my skin

" Well if I knew your name I'd call you that" He says it in a carefree, but slightly annoyed tone.

" My name is Hinata" I left out my surname. I had a feeling he'd just ignore it anyway, just like Naruto did. I couldn't remember him ever calling anyone by their surname.

" Well Hinata, I don't fight with kids. Go home"

" How old are you?"

" Eh? What type of question is that? "

" just answer"

" I'm fifteen"

" we're the same age then"

" Eh! You don't look fifteen!" he pointed to accusingly .

" This is what I looked like when I died. "

" oh, and, I'm Kurosaki Ichigo"

" well let's get training then Kurosaki-kun" I smiled. So much like Naruto. I had always wanted to train with Naruto. Just for the sake of seeing if I could outlast him.

Oddly, through the time I trained, I didn't really talk. Only when I pointed out the flaws or openings of his current stance or move. And I didn't mind that. All there was sweat, blood, the desire to get stronger, and the desire to protect.

This worked for hours on end. Through the seamless spars, my shikai became easier and easier to control. And with that control Tako Hasu taught me more of it. Now I was up to seven of nine.

" Kurosaki" I broke off from the battle. Easily dodging his last swipe with his butcher knife of a zanpakto.

" What?" his tone was annoyed. He really didn't like me much, perhaps likes really didn't attract.

" I want to teach you something"

" what?" he replied shortly

" it's rude to just say what you know"

" Why do I give a rat's ass?"

" do you want to defeat the man who took away Rukia?"

" You mean the black haired one?" I nodded. I debated wether I even could teach him it.

" Yes. His name is Kuchiki Byakuya. His zanpakto works by scattering into many tiny blades. "

" and you know how to deal with this?"

" I do in fact" I smirked. I'd never shown anyone this move before. Not even Rukia. Not even Rin knew of it.

" You won't be able to use this move exactly, but I think you may be able to do something similar" I took a deep breath. I made the hand-seals for the byakugan.

I really didn't need to, but it was a hard habit to break. Plus, it made my byakugan far easier to maintain, and it made it stronger. Making the reistu far sharper.

"Shugohakke rokujyuu Yoshou!" I flung out a palm shooting out a tiny burst of reistu as it rotated, I did the same with my other hand. Each beam of reistu hitting an imagined target.

As the move wound down I wiped a bit of sweat from my brow. Panting from the effort the attack required. I smiled. Sure it wasn't a real combat situation, but it was for someone other than the night.

" ano, How the heck am I supposed to do anything like that? I can't control reistu well enough to do anything like this" I sighed. Maybe this would be harder then I thought.

" I never said you had to use reistu. It's the movement you should be looking at. Your zanpakto is large, but also it could be flexible"

" Zangetsu, flexible?"

" yes. It had bandages wrapped around the bottom no?"

" well yeah, but I still don't get-"

" use the excess bandage like a rope. Swing your sword like you would a ball at the end of a string."

" that's dangerous"

" all moves are. It's an issue of learning to control it, and anyways, You won't be able to block every one of the tiny blades any other way"

" How, how do you move your arms? They're going too fast for me to see Them right" I nodded. Starting again. This time making sure to go slowly. I smiled again, answering questions directed at me, telling this Ichigo what he was doing wrong, where he could improve.

And improve he did. Like Naruto would've if anyone had ever gotten past calling him a failure, and helped him a bit.

Like I might've if my father had given me more then vauge advice, such as ' your footwork would make a duck cry in shame'. Maybe if I he had told me exactly what was wrong.

' _no, you will not start on the past. What is past is past. Pay attention to the present' _

" We can stop for now"

" why now?"

" It's nighttime"

" seriously?" I nodded. Nostalgia folding over me as a slight vibration of thunder rushed through.

" what's with the look?"

" huh?"

" you just started to stare off into space for no reason" I didn't really have an answer for him. I suppose it was because of the many nights that Hanabi and I had spent together under the union of booming thunder and pounding rain.

Nights I really wanted to be now, instead of in the past. I walked out into the steady rain. I was quickly soaked through. My hakama pants sticking to my legs as if made of peanut butter.

The rain was coming down in sheets. Though not all the drops came down through the trees that surrounded me. I paused by a stream. I could see a small waterfall in the distance. It's dark yet glittering waters called to me.

I followed the stream. Jumping into the pool below the waterfall. It was only about ankle deep.

" **dance" **

' _huh?'_

" **dance on top the water!" **

'_why?' _

" **just do it" ** I shrugged. I didn't really know how to dance. Wait. Scratch that. I had no fucking clue how to dance.  
**" just let your body move"**

' _what the hell type of advice is that!' _

" **try it before you fault it!" ** I huffed. I swung my arm out experimentally causing the charms on Tako Hasu to clash together like little bells. And with that jingle came a tiny pulse of fluttering that made it's way slowly through my being

I blinked. I held onto that graceful feeling. Trying to let it flow with the beat of my heart, and let talk with the beats of the rain. And it did.

" **take a look at yourself" **

' _huh? But-' _

" **Do it!" ** wow, she sure was impatient tonight. I did as she said. I nearly gasped. I was in a loose fitting white dress. I fit just right.

it reminded me of the dresses the greek nymphs wore. Clinging only slightly to my never-to-be-developed curves. Showing off just enough to make one curious. It came only to my mid thigh.

" w-what is this?" Tako Hasu wasn't across my chest anymore either her blade had transformed into two bracelets, each adorned with four bells that were painted with a respective design taken from one of the charms.

" **I just wanted to give you a bit more freedom of movement" **I nodded. Again beginning to dance. Real bells sound beautiful. Their song is also joined by a light tinkle.

" Who are you ?" a voice echoed from the forrest.

I screamed in surprise. Jumping backwards, oh so gracefully banging my head into an unseen rock behind the wall of water I'd backed into.

A wall of water that was making the back half of my body dripping wet. Not only that but the rushing water had made my ponytail unravel. The heavy strands had saturated all the water they could hold. Causing them to feel heavy against my back.

" ow!' I clutched the back of my head.

" what are you doing out in the forrest so late?" a bright inquisitive voice called out. I caught sight of an deep orange head poking out.

' _Ichigo? No, the reistu is different. ' _

" oh gosh I'm sorry! You must be kinda scared, I mean what if I was a scary alien in disguse who wanted to kidnap you because your bells hypmotized my king into saying that he was a jar of jam, and I thought that if I took you back to my home planet so that you could make him think that he was a giant cookie, because I liked cookies a lot and was allergic to jam, and the king kept making me eat jam, oh no! I'm rambling aren't I? I'm so so sorry! I tend to do that" she scratched the back of her head nervously. Something struck me. this girl was human.

" Th-that's okay" I blushed as well. She was in a long skirt and a tee shirt that didn't quite fit her, most likely due to her sizeable chest. as well as red shoes.

" but why are you out in the rain miss?"

" h-how can… how can you even see me?"

"uh, the way I see all people?" she was utterly confused. She couldn't tell I was dead. That I wasn't…

" I-I'm not alive. I haven't been in about two years" I tried to state this calmly. I almost wished that through this girls obviously expansive imagination that I really could be alive again.

" oh, what's dying like? " I struggled for words. Death. It was so hard to explain. You knew it was coming. Yet you couldn't believe it once it overtook your senses.

" It's-it's …odd"

" really! Since my Onii-chan died I've always kind of wondered…" she trailed off a little frown on her face.

" So thanks so much! But can I ask you one more question?" I nodded.

" w-what's heaven like?" She asks it so tentatively. Like if I say that it was bad. That she'd break.

I struck by her. She was something of a mix between Rin and Myself . Rin being her happiness, her randomness. But I could see me inside of her too.

Someone trying to catch someone, someone who was a little shy, a little self conscious. Someone. Someone who could blossom into something powerful with the right help.

" It's like being alive all over again" she smiled. Swallowing back tears.

" What's your name?" I asked tentatively. I wondered if it had an ' H ' , or an ' I '.

" Huh? I'm Inoue Orihime, you" wow. both. I could think of so many precious people with those three letters

I could think of so many family names with ' H '. My own name Hinata, my imouto Hanabi, my tou-sama Haishi. My uncle Haizashi, my kaa-chan Haruka.

And names of friends as well. Hanataro, Hinamori, and Hitsugaya, Haruno Sakura. Names of friends with ' I ' weren't as many, but they still were friends Inuzaka Kiba, Inuzuka Rin, Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Neji they all had ' I' in their name. I found it amazing that my improbable hopes had come true.

" I'm Hyuuga Hinata"

" well then Hyuuga-san would you like to come home with me? I'm guessing you don't have a place to stay "

" T-that's fine! I-I'll be okay, and I certaintly wouldn't be want to be a burden to you –"

" I want you to" she cut in. I blinked. Her voice was steely.

" I've lived alone since my onii-chan died, so it's nice to have company." Her voice was somber and soft now. I smiled at bit. Yes. She was very much like me.

" I-I guess I could but I have to tell you something first"

" what is it?" sunset hair fell off her shoulders as she tilted her head curiously to the side.

" I'm a shinigami"

" Oh , did you know a girl named Kuchiki Rukia?" I nodded

" yeah. I did, she was my friend. My only friend really. "

" Really! Well it sounds like you have a really long story to tell then! Let's get back to my apartment so you don't get a cold Hyuuga-san!"

" call me Hinata"

_**Well that's a wrap! ( sorry I couldn't resist) but anyways I hope you guys liked it! I actually hadn't intended for Hinata to meet Orihime until the Soul Society arc… oh well! I hope that I got her character right. Orihime is one of my favorite Bleach characters of all time so it's so awesome to write her diolog! ( especially her imaginative rants! ) but if you don't like her then you better be ready for a lot of parts that you don't like because she's going to be in here more often then some other characters, because her and Hinata have such similar personalities and I think they would make great friends. But anyways here's the list of the people who showed this story some love!**_

_**Review: ellieorchid ( chapters 4,5,8,15 and 17),purplflower,FDS-Sasuke-fangirl- candinaru25,AnimeMixDJ Lawliet,GoddessSumizofVenus ,xxHinaAngelxx,BK-Black Knight**_

_**alert:ellieorchid,FDS-Sasuke-fangirl-Lawliet, kibasgirl521**_

_**favorite:FDS-Sasuke-fangirl-Lawliet,BK-Black Knight,Mercyonthesoul**_


	18. Birthdays And The Birth Of Jelousy

_**Hey everybody! I'm sorry if this isn't the most eloquent of author's notes but hey. I'm writing this at 7:40 in the morning. I know not that early, but most authors probably don't write in the morning. It seems unlike a lot of people my muse is a morning person. Unlike me: my favorite time of day? Any time the sun isn't above the horizon. That and maybe my talent period (art) but whatever I just watched episode 239 and… IT WAS MOTHING DUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!! (Duckin isn't a typo by the by) but seriously HOLY SHIT! It moved me to tears!!! It was SO SO SO SO SO beyond infinity SO's AMAZING! I recommend you find it and watch it! HERE'S A LINK TO IT!!!!**_

_**http://www(DOT)animeshippuuden(DOT).com/bleach/bleach-episode-239/#flash_set2**_

_**(Just replace the dots with real periods!) **_

_**I also just finished up the third bleach movie which was also MOTHER DUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Nope. I don't own anything!**_

_**Hinata's point of view**_

I felt bad about leaving like this. But honestly I knew I couldn't, and very much shouldn't become friends with this girl. I wanted to so badly.

But I knew if I hung around too much. Wait. No, I really didn't know.

Maybe I was just scared of making a friend.

Maybe I was afraid because she had so many ghosts of my past locked within her.

Maybe it was because she had bust the lock on my heart with such ease.

I didn't know. Not a fucking clue. I just folded the nightgown that she had let me borrow. A simple note on top.

'Thanks for everything'

Just like Rin had left a note on top of my yukata the day Renji-san had come to visit the academy. I didn't really want to dwell on such things.

'_Don't dwell on the past. Think only of the present' _

"Goodbye, Orihime-chan. Till we meet again" I whispered softly to no one but the morning. And with that I jumped out the window.

Again savoring the energy that flowed through my legs as my feet touched down on reishi and sky. To an extent I was flying. Just like Neji had always wanted to.

'_No! No, no, no! Stop thinking about him! Stop thinking about the past!' _

'_Why can't I just stop it?' _

"**Because no matter how much it hurts you, your past is your past." **

"**And however much you try to avoid it. It's too deeply engrained into your being for you ignore" **Tako Hasu's voice seemed menacing now. Something that calmly foretold destruction.

'_Wha-what do you even mean!' _

"**Hinata. You have to stop running" **

'_I don't get what you're saying! What am I running from?' _

"**You wish to detach yourself from your past" **

"**But such is impossible; I am made of your past and of your memories" **

'_Do you blame me?'_

"**No. I do not. Your past is painful. Humans by nature reject pain in any way they can. What you are doing is no different" **

"**You've tried to balance your past and present, which is a good start. But in reality, your time is of three dimensions. " **

"**Past, present, and future" **

"**You've tried only to balance present and past. But you've forgotten the future" **

"**You've forgotten your dreams. You're past dreams, your present dreams. They collaborate to create the future you want for yourself" **

'_But I- I don't want to wish! I don't want to start!' _

'_Wishing only wounds the heart _'Neji's voice finished off my sentence with a cruelty my thoughts couldn't muster

"**But there is no happiness without pain. You may have gone through a lot, but that just means that your happy moments are even happier in contrast. Like how off white looks much brighter next to black" **

'_But why am I suddenly thinking of him? I haven't thought of him in so long. Why now?' _

"**Because it's July third"**

'_Oh.' _No wonder. Neji's birthday was so engrained into my mental calendar that even though I hadn't known the date Neji had been in my every thought.

"Happy fifteenth birthday Neji-niisan" I called to the sky. I made a particularly long leap.

"You know Niisan, I know it isn't flying, but I think you'd like this. It- it certainly feels like I'm flying" I sighed. I was talking to myself. Great. Just great.

'_Tako Hasu?' _

'_I miss him' _

"**I know you do. " **

'_Then why doesn't my shikai have a move for him?' _

"**You'll learn"**

'_When?'_

"**Someday" **

'_It's always someday isn't it?' _

"**Most times yes, it is someday" **

'_Well shit' _

"**Now that's my Gaki-chan! " **I smiled. I would try. I would not let my pain derail my afterlife. I wouldn't let it derail my future. I would use it to make my dreams. I would use it to make my morals just as strong as Naruto-kun's.

**Hinamori's point of view**

"There's a letter for you Hinamori-kun" the silky soft voice of my taicho's broke through a bout of concentration I had been using to complete my share of the paperwork.

"A letter? Why I ask who it's from Aizen-Taicho?" I asked politely. I was always so careful to be polite around Aizen-Taicho. After all I had always wanted to be his perfect fukitaicho.

"It's from the girl you teach kido to, what was her name again?"

"Hinata-Chan? Why would she send me a letter, instead of just telling me in person?" I spoke my thoughts out loud as I opened the letter. It wasn't very long.

_Dear Momo-chan_

_Sorry I didn't just tell you this in person, but unfortunately I'm not able to. I'm going to be in the real world for a bit for a mission, not for too long hopefully. I just wanted to tell you that because I know how you worry over me sometimes, though I really don't know why. But either way, I'll try to get you a souvenir from the real world!_

_Hinata_

I folded the letter. She was right, for some reason I had always worried over her. Kind of like how I worried over Shiro-chan when he went on missions. She was like a little sister to me. I loved to see her succeed. And most of all I loved her smile.

"What was the letter about Hinamori-kun?"

"Huh? Oh Hinata-chan just wanted to tell me that she was on a mission in the real world for a bit!"

"Oh, How exciting. "He smiled. His eyes closing behind his thick glasses. I continued with my paperwork. Finishing it within the hour.

"I'm done with my paper work Aizen-Taicho"

"Very well. You may leave" I bowed before leaving the office. I headed straight for tenth squad. I wanted to talk to Rangiku-san. And if I went I might also run into Shiro-chan!

'_Wait, why am I so excited at the prospect of seeing Hitsugaya-kun? I mean he's my friend and stuff but… oh whatever. If I run into him I'll tell him that Hinata's on a mission and nothing else'_

"Hinamori!" Rangiku-san's voice broke through my thoughts

"Hey Rangiku-san!" she rushed towards me.

"Hey! Do you know where Hinata-chan is?" she asked. Panting and out of breath.

"Eh. She's on a mission in the real world, why?"

"Aw! I had such a good idea too!" I blinked.

'_What did you have planned? And what does that have to do with Hinata-Chan?' _

"What was the plan?" Curiosity overwhelmed me. She responded by dragging me by the wrist to her quarters. Before slamming the door shut behind her.

"Was it really necessary to drag me all the way here to tell me about this plan of yours?"

"Because this is a super secret plan of course!" she stated. A fake pout on her face.

"Are you drunk Rangiku-san?" I asked warily. Remembering the last plan she'd made up when she was drunk.

"Nope! I'm actually sober! Swear!" She saluted.

"Okay then let's hear this plan!" I smiled.

"Okay! First off our objective: To get Taicho to admit he's in love with Hinata-Chan!" A fire punched a hole in my chest. I wasn't sure what that fire was, or what had caused it.

'_W-why am I feeling like this? Hinata-Chan is an amazing person! Of course Hitsugaya-kun would fall in-' _

'_Why do I care if they like each other?' _

'_Do I like Hitsugaya-kun?' _

"I-I have to go Rangiku-san" I muttered my eyes flickering towards the door longingly.

"O-okay, Hinamori" I walked out. Running towards the tenth squad office. Something in my heart dragged me towards it. Towards him.

'_Do I like Hitsugaya-kun?' _

"**Yes, Yes you do" **Tobiume answered the question for me in her ever polite voice. I knocked on the door.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you there?"

"Come in Hinamori" I opened the door to find him doing paperwork. He looked up. His eyes boring straight into me.

"Well? Are you going to just stand there and gape like a fish out of water or are you going to say something?" A blush decorated my face

"I-I was just in the area so I decided to visit that's all!" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh? Why are you in the area?"

"I-I ran into Rangiku-san"

"Just where is she?" He interrupted.

"H-her quarters, but why would Hitsugaya-kun want to know-"

"Because she hasn't done a single sheet of paperwork in a week" he stated. A lone silver eyebrow twitching.

"It's rude to interrupt you know" I pouted. It was so easy to fall into this rhythm. Scolding him. Like an older sister should. Like a wife should

'_W-w-wait wife! No! You do not like Shiro-chan in that way! You do not!' _

"Bed wetter you're doing a remarkable impression of a fish again" again a blush coated my face.

"Shut up Shiro-chan!"

"Don't call me that! It's Hitsugaya-Taicho!"

" Hey Taicho!" Matsumoto popped in just on time.

"Where have you been?" his voice barely contains his annoyance.

"Well you see-"

"You know what. On second thought I honestly don't want to know" I try to use this as an opportunity to sneak out of the office.

"Hinamori! Where are you going!" Matsumoto called out just before I got to the door

"Well it seems like you both have some work so I'm just going to see Renji"

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow Hinamori!" I waved goodbye.

Toushiro didn't say goodbye.

_**Well I'm going to end it there just for the sake of an update! But I hope you liked this slightly filler-ish chapter! Nothing much really happened, but I have introduced that Hinamori has feelings for Hitsugaya as well. This is also a bit shorter then normal, ( it's only 1,970 words long, in contrast to my normal chapter which is a bit longer). And adding another thing onto the things I've seen recently Samraesigns ( on youtube. THE CRACK QUEEN! She practically invented HitsuHinata!) just uploaded some new stuff and it is AWESOME! ( as all her videos are. And as all her stories are)**_

_**So here's the people who showed their loving!**_

_**review: purpleshine, xxHinaAngelxx, ellieorchid,Soraya the All Speaker,SinShu,Foxluna ( chapters 13 and 18)**_

_**favorite: WinterMission( as an author! Thanks so much for your ongoing support!) ,**__**Esperanz,Soraya the All Speaker, Foxluna (story and author! Thanks so much!),AlwaysinLove09**_

_**alert: WinterMission ( again as an author! Thanks so much!!), Soraya the All Speaker,chaostheory1989**_


	19. Stars And The Reasons

_**Wow! It's chapter twenty! Holy shit! I can't believe you put up with this for so long! (And this is nowhere near done…) Sorry this took so long, but I wasn't really sure what to do with this. Hinata's going to be back in soul society, just because I can't really think of much for her to do in the real world. By the by what do you think Momo's souvenir from the real world should be? Just tell me in your review! I'm really happy I got to post this today… I'm so busy this week, today I'm going to a friend's surprise birthday party and working on a project and working on an essay for high school. on Monday I've got piano/voice/ dog-walking, Tuesday I've got test prep and something for high school ( which means I can't go to Japanese :P) I'm not sure about Wednesday, and I have test prep and Japanese on Thursday and Friday I have a project due for French. In other words. My life is insane at the moment. **_

_**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own bleach. **_

**Hitsugaya's point of view. **

"It's good to see you Hinata" I hugged her. Breathing her scent deeply. Letting it fill my senses. She too breathed deeply as she pulled me closer to her. Her hands ran through my hair. Not at all like the rough ruffling Hinamori used to do, but a soft caress.

It'd been ten days since I'd last seen her. It seemed odd for me to miss her so much after only ten days, but I did. I had gone without seeing Hinamori for so many months when she was away at shinigami academy. I hadn't missed her nearly as much as I had Hinata in these ten days.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you I was on a mission. It was short notice"

"I already knew" I released her.

"Y-you did?" I nodded

"Kuchiki is a capital offender. Who was to be sent to retrieve her and take over her duties was one of the topics at the Taicho's meeting."

"I-I see, but why was I chosen out of everyone?"

"Soi-Fong recommended you for the mission"

"W-what? B-but she hates me"

"Not as much as you would think. She knows you're strongest in her division. She respects strength if nothing else" Hinata nodded. Though I could tell she wasn't sure. I smiled and sat down on the roof. I patted the spot next to me. The roof tiles are cool beneath me. Her body is warm against me.

"I've missed you" she says it again in her feather soft voice. I nodded in agreement. She's unusually silent tonight. She just leans against me. Staring off into the stars.

"The stars are nice tonight" she nodded.

"My Kaa-chan used to tell me a story about the stars"

"A story?" She nodded.

"She used to tell me that when the universe was new it was all covered in ice."

"It was hard for most things to survive it was so cold. Nothing could grow, and things froze to death easily. It was a miracle for things to live long enough to breed"

"There was one creature that had no trouble surviving, the dragon. But he was lonely, he had no mate and he knew that once his time was over the dragons would all die out"

"So he decided to do the world some good before he passed on"

"He used the last of his power to warm the universe, and melt all of the ice. So that all creatures could live happily. "

"But he himself froze in the process and so he was only able to hollow out a small place, and he called that place the earth. At first he was angry that only a small amount could be saved. But on his last day Kami himself came to the dragon."

"He thanked the dragon for his great deed, and he said that the dragon's spirit would live on forever. As the master of all water on his new planet"

"And that his earth would always be protected by the ice that was the rest of the universe."

"The dragon asked that his planet never know of the ice, nor of the terrible suffering they had endured. So kami gave the planet a sky. "

"But as time went on small parts of that sky broke away, showing the bright ice beyond it and the creatures called those shiny bits of ice the stars"

"A dragon that controls all water on earth?" I muttered. This was far too close to Hyourinmaru for my own comfort.

"Yeah, you sort of remind me of the dragon"

"What was the dragon's name?"

"It's name? I-I don't know. Kaa-chan always just called him the dragon"

"I've never heard that story before"

"Yeah. Most people haven't. But that was my favorite story when I was little"

"I wanted to meet the dragon; I wanted to be like him. To be able to sacrifice all I had for the greater good. "

"I remember when I once asked her where the dragon was, it was snowing that day, I think it was my fifth birthday"

"But when I asked she just pointed to the snowflakes. She said that the dragon was all around us, watching over us for always."

"That even after she was gone that the dragon would be watching over me and my children after me"

"Hinata. Do you think maybe, Hyourinmaru is the dragon from your story?" She nodded.

"Yeah. It's odd. She was right. The dragon does protect me" I blinked. She was right. I did watch over her. I did try to protect her. She'd fallen for the dragon from the story before she had met me, who had the dragon as a part of my soul. And now the dragon had fallen for her.

' _Hyourinmaru?' _

"**So you've finally realized?" **

'_Realized what?' _

"**That you've been tumbling head over heels for your Nata since the very beginning"**

'_Is that story true? Are you the dragon from the story?' _

"**I wouldn't know" **__ he stated simply

'_What do you mean you don't know?' _

"**Do you remember your life?" **

'_No?' _ I answered, unsure of where this was going.

"**Well neither do I. if I am the dragon from the story I wouldn't remember any of it. The dragon did what he did while he was **_**alive**_**" **

"T-Toushiro?" a hand brushed against my forehead. I blinked. She was kneeling in front of me. Her face ever so close to my own. Her pale pink lower lip pushed out just so, her lavender eyes shining in silvery moonlight.

I leaned forward. Letting my lips brush against hers. I never could kiss her roughly. She is precious. Too precious to be scared away by a lack of restraint. I can see her blush, crimson against alabaster. She sat down next to me. Letting her head rest against my shoulder. She let her hair down. I can't help but chuckle.

"You know me well" I muttered. Running a hand through her night sky hair.

"Why do you like my hair so much?"

"Eh? You're hair? It just reminds me of the sky at night is all" I muttered. My cheeks turning pink

"You know, underneath that cold exterior of yours, you're a sweet person"

"That's one word I don't think I've ever been described as"

"But it's true. You've never said a mean thing to me, and when I'm scared or confused. You've… you've always helped me make sense of it" now her face is colored.

"I act a lot different around you then I do the rest of the world"

"Well that's the rest of the worlds loss" she stated primly. Wrapping her arms around me .Head still resting on my shoulder, her hair obscuring her face slightly. I briefly considered waking her up, but after glancing again at her peaceful face I decided against it. Though much to my disappointment only an hour later, I knew she had to get to her squad.

I could watch her sleeping face forever. I was completely mesmerized by her. By the soft pink line that I hadn't been able to prevent that went from the corner of her jaw to the corner or her eyes. Eyes so very opaque that they hid the pupil. I nudged her lightly

"H-huh? How long did I sleep?"

"About an hour"

"An h-hour? Then I should get-"

"I know. That's why I woke you up. "Eyes clouded with sleep began to clear. She kissed me ever so softly on the forehead. Her lips feel like scrunched up silk against my oversensitive forehead. I could only get a small glimpse of her eyes as she left. And what I saw was a deep and swirling storm.

And with that she left. Usually she said goodbye or something to that effect. But she hadn't tonight. And her eyes. They looked so troubled, something was brewing deep within them. Just what was she so upset about, was she upset with me?

"**No, she's not angry with you. She's upset about the Kuchiki girl. They're good friends remember?" **

'_So that's why she didn't talk much tonight'_

"**Her friend is being condemned to death. Of course she's upset" **

'_And I'll bet she's doing something behind all of our backs to help prevent it' _

**  
"I wouldn't pry about that. What you don't know can't hurt you" **

'_What do you mean by that?' _

"**I mean don't ask so that you have absolutely no reason to get her in trouble if you slip up" **

'_And you think I'd do that?' _

"**No, just being cautious" **

"Taicho what are you doing on the roof?" Matsumoto's voice piped up. It was slightly whiney, and definitely slurred. In two words she sounded dead drunk.

"What's it to you?" I responded coldly.

"Because you're gonna catch a cold!"

"It's July"

"You'll catch a summer cold then! " I sighed.

"Go inside before you fall and kill yourself you drunken idiot. "

"Fine! Taicho's so mean to me!" She muttered loudly. Running off, I suppose to get her even drunk then she already was. And then if I knew her she would come into work ridiculously late. And do absolutely nothing because of her hangover.

Besides my talk with Hinata, my day was normal. Oddly, I don't really mind normalcy. After all. If everything one did was crazy how would one know normalcy from insanity?

**Hinata point of view**

'_I met the dragon.' _

'_I kissed the dragon' _

"**You're realizing this now?" **

'_What do you mean by that?_

"**I can't help but wonder about your thought process sometimes!" **

'_How was I supposed to know that his zanpakto was the hero of one of my favorite childhood stories?' _

"**Why do you think you fell for him at first sight? You fell for him because he reminded you of the dragon; forever frozen on the outside, yet still flowing and sweet as a mountain stream" **

'_I never knew you were a budding poetic Tako Hasu' _

" **shut up! That and you forgot a small detail" **

'_What's that?' _

"**The dragon also had turquoise eyes" **

_**Well I'm going to end it here. I'm sorry this chapter is stupidly short (not even 2,000 words), but I've got something better in store for next time! PROMISE!!! This chapter was just giving me the worst case of writers block known to man… but I hope you liked the whole story bit, because it's important!!! I think… well whatever, here's everyone who showed some support!**_

_**review:AnimeMixDJ, red-volpe, Soraya the All Speaker,Genial Hinata, Esperanz,Foxluna**_

_**alert: Seer Vixion**_

_**favorite:Ryuusei Akira Kiri6 ( story and author! Thanks so much!) Esperanz ( as an author thanks again! animangagirl**_


	20. Familiarty And Hatred

**_Happy Halloween everybody! Yes. I still celebrate Halloween. But you know what I'm a kid (in my soul AND body!) that and who can turn down free candy? That's right NO ONE! But I also had a Bat mitzvah (my friends Laura and her twin Anna. Who I don't like, but they are totally different people so they have really different friends, Laura tends more towards quirky peoplewhile Anna tends towards the preppier kids. but it was still really amazing! It was so fun, I danced (looked like I was having a seizure) for a lot of the night and basically goofed off with people, the service was terrible though! It lasted about three hours, it was super crowded and I couldn't understand a thing, because the entire service was in Hebrew, it sounded beautiful though. And I also went trick or treating so I gots lots of candies!!!! Hopefully this chapter is better than last time for now I have muse! Sort of. _**

**Hinata's point of view**

" You are to potrol the rukon for these ryoka, feel free to stop by your home if you wish to, it would be an easy way to get information out of the locals"

"You are also to stop by the Shiba household, they have been sent advance notice that you are coming"

" but is it not rude to burst in on a noble house?" I knew that visitors to the Hyuuga household were extremely rare, and to just come in; even with advanced notice was unprecedently rude.

" the Shiba are barely nobles anymore Hyuuga. Now stop inconvienicing me with these questions and go" she said boredly.

"o-of course. Forgive me for my insolence" I muttered a standard apology, though I really wasn't all that sorry for asking. I knew little about the soul society. I had to learn as much as I could however I could. Even if that meant making Soi-Fong taicho mad.

" just get going you fool" she spat, contempt not failing to drip from her tone, no. nothing would ever _drip_ in her prescence.

except maybe blood. She was far too orderly for that. Perhaps slather was a better word… no still too messy . Maybe frost?

Yes, that was the word. The perfect word. Frosting; at least on cakes, was thick, and covered the entire cake with a melting sweet taste that lingered on one's tounge for days. Yes contempt did not fail to frost her tone. I walked out. Walking briskly to my quarters to picking up my Tako Hasu.

' _I guess I won't be able to tell Toushiro I'm going on a mission again' _

" **you're like a worrying wife! This is going to be fun! You're going to get to see your Obaachan!" **

' _I haven't seen her in so long… I can't believe how long it's been since…since I…' _

" **died? "** I blinked at her bluntlness.

" **you shouldn't be afraid to say it Gaki-chan. What happened that day is undeniable. You cannot pretend you aren't dead" **she scolded severly. I felt a wave of nostalgia. She sounded so much like my mother.

" **I may as well be your mother " **she muttered. I ignored her. She knew as well as I that my mother held an irevokable place in my heart. Tako Hasu too held her irrevocable space. As did Toushiro, as did Rin, heck so did all my friends.

' _Just how much room is there in my heart?'_

" **to put it bluntly; a lot"**

' _I didn't ask for a commentary' _she didn't answer. I sighed, I'd finally reached the walls of the seireitei. I looked around.

" where the hell's Jidanbo-san?" I muttered as I jumped over the wall and down into the rukon.

I'd only met the giant gatekeeper a couple of times but I liked him. He reminded me slightly of Choji. A puff of dust plumed under my feet as I landed. I couldn't really sense much, but people were staring. It unnerved me.

" **well of course they're staring, it isn't often a shinigami comes into the rukon. Especially someone as young as you"**

' _I know, but that doesn't make it any less unnerving' _

" **well don't just stand there! Go to your Baachan's already!" **I nodded mentally starting to walk towards my home.

" Baachan?" I called poking my head in.

" Hina-chan! What a wonderful surprise" I hugged her

" Gomen, It's been awhile. Hasn't it"

" that's fine Hina-chan, Your life is very busy, I'd imagine"

" It's not an excuse for me to not visit "

" come in Hina-chan, we'll continue this conversation inside." I nodded, following her inside the small house I breathed in deeply the odor of cooking stew.

" it smells delicious Baachan"

" are you staying for dinner?" I shook my head sadly.

"N-no, unfournetly. I-I'm on a mission right now. My taicho just gave me permission to visit while I was here" I muttered guiltly.

" what is the mission about?"

" t-the ryoka that landed here a couple of days ago"

" I don't know much, but I do know for a fact that they were headed towards the Shiba house"

"a-arigato Obaachan"

" it's not a problem Hina-chan, but why don't you stay awhile, it's been a long time since we've been able to talk" I nodded. I had missed her a lot. I sat down next to her.

" how are Toushiro and Momo?"

" T-they're fine Baachan. "

" How is your relationship with him going?" I blinked and blushed.

" W-what are you talking about?" Baachan chuckled.

" You can't hide such things from me. I could tell you two would hit it off the moment your eyes met"

" e-eh?" she chuckled again.

" You can't reconisde the look in his eyes can you?"

"W-what look? "

" You'll know someday" I sighed.

" it's always someday isn't it?"

" What do you mean by that Hina-chan?"

" whenever I don't get it I'm always told I'll understand someday. But when's someday?"

" Well I don't know"

" but you should get going, sorry for taking up so much time"

" I'll visit as soon as I can. I promise"

" I'll look forward to it" I nodded. I wished I could stay longer, but I really couldn't. at least both parts of my mission were in the same direction. I walked out of Junrin'an.

Walking through forest I vaugely recondised. Perhaps from my first run through the rukon. I sighed. Things just keep changing around me, but I seem to stay the same.

I haven't gown a centimeter in more then two years, and my face still stubbornly holds on to it's baby fat. The only thing that's changed in the time that I've been in soul society is the addition of a scar to my face.

' _I wish Toushiro was here' _

" **you always wish he was here" **Tako Hasu stated blandly

" **not that I wouldn't expect that of you, but seriously. I'm listening to a broken record player here" **

' _what's that?' _

" **oh never mind! And by the way Gaki-chan, you're here" **I looked up.

" huh?" the house that stood before me was nothing like I'd imagined it to be. The house was actually quite small, but it had one, two huge arms holding a huge red banner with the words Shiba Kukaku.

' _your kidding me' _

" **wow. " **

" **nice house" **

' _are you kidding me! that is not a house!' _

" **I wonder what the taped over smokestack is for?" **

" A Shinigami! What is your business here!" tow deep voices yelled in unison I sighed. Pulling a cold expression over my face. I pulled a scroll out of my robes.

" I believe you were informed of my visit?"

" Oh, of course! We will tell Kukaku-sama immeditally! But what is your name Shinigami-san?"

" Hyuuga Hinata" the two men disappeared into the house. I pumped a bit more reistu into my byakugan.

' _a-amazing! It's such a large underground network! It's amazing that this hasn't collapsed or something' _

" **no wonder the house is so tiny" **I just nodded. Still examining the underground passages with a vengeance, knowing this might be the last time I'd see this distinctive layout due to the Shiba's habit of constant relocation.

" come in Hyuuga-san" I nodded following them into the subterainen house.

I looked around me, for an underground place it was suprisingly well lit. most likely due to the hotarukazura that grew pretty much anywhere they could. I couldn't help but notice the familiarity of the house.

" so our other guest has arrived" a slightly deep female voice said in a confident tone. The voice is achingly familiar.

"other guest? What other guest!" a male voice rebels against the female, his voice also holds a slight familiarity. I opened the paper door delicately.

My Kaa-chan's lectures about how old the doors were and that opening them gently was a sign of respect to the tree and rice spirits of the wood and paper that made up the sliding entrance

" Another shinigami! What the hell is with you and opening our house to those assholes!" my eyebrow twitched.

" It'd be quite smart of you to kindly shut the hell up Shiba-_kun_" I said, my voice even a polite conveying malice only by stressing the honnorfic.

" Didn't your mother ever teach you to respect your elders gaki!"

" no. unfourtunetly, she died a bloody death all of a foot away from me when I was five years two months and nineteen days old. She never really got to that lesson, sorry that fact has inconvienced you " a sweet smile is plastered to my face; and I honestly want to smack myself for saying that in such a manner.

" **Nicely done, Gaki-chan. Quite scathing" **Tako Hasu complimented.

" Quit arguing with guests Ganju!" a woman with a red top black hair, and pale sea blue eyes smacked him over the head. She seemed familiar. Achingly so. Like an old momento lost behind a radiator, just beyond reach. Knowing it was there but unable to grasp it.

" g-gomen nee-chan" he mumbled against the hardwood floor. The woman held out her hand.

" Shiba Kukaku, pleasure to meet'cha Hinata-chan"

" You as well Shiba-san"

" Please call me Kuakaku! I hate formalities" I bowed my head.

" Of course Shi-" I caught myself

"Kukaku" I corrected myself softly.

" That's better Hinata-chan!" she ruffled my hair. I blinked.

" _Neji-chan?" my mother's voice brought Neji-nii back from dreamland. _

" _Hai Hyuuga-sama?" _

" _oh there's no need to call me that! Please just call me Haruka" she smiled one of her blinding smiles. Neji-nii blushed as he replied his head bowed. _

"_b-but A-adressing Hyuuga-sama in such a way would be-" _

" _It wouldn't. I'm your aunt. Your family and you already call Nata-chibi by her given name anyways. It's definetly okay by me If you call me by my given name. and plus me Nata-chibi and you are all Hyuuga and that's just confusing" _

" _T-then can I call you Haruka-sama?" _

" _well, It's a step. Let's hear it then" _

" _H-huh?" His head is still bowed. _

" _say Haruka-sama for me Neji-chan" _

" _H-hai, Hyuu-" he stopped_

" _Haruka-sama" he finished quietly. _

" _I like it! That's better Neji-chan!" she ruffled his hair, much to his dissatacfation. An my delight as I pulled a brush seemingly from nowhere to comb his hair back into place on of my favorite activities. _

I walked back towards where Uyruu, Orihime, Ichigo and a tall Hispanic male whose name I didn't know were sitting.

" well there really isn't much left to say; Ganju and Hinata you two come with me!" and with that I followed behind Ganju and Kukaku as they left the room.

I blinked. This house was so familiar. Kukaku was ridiculously familiar.

" What's bothering you kid? " Ganju asked.

" I thought you didn't like shinigami?"

" That doesn't stop me from asking!"

" but it also shows that you have the concern to ask"

" I just hate seeing little kids with such worried expressions is all! You're a kid shouldn't you be carefree or at least not act like a noble with a stick up your ass!" my eyebrow twitched.

' _I do not have a stick up my ass!' _

" **not really, but you sure look like it sometimes, specially when you're trying to solve something. You get a weird expression" **

" Look, if I have any sticks up my ass it's the stick that I wish I was home with my family. However crappy my Tou-sama's and my Nii-san's temperament is towards me or perhaps that my team has to function one man down which increases the likelyhood of them joining me in the soul society which is not something I want to put Kurenai sensei through! " I yelled loosing my temper with the older male.

" Jeez!" he muttered picking at earwax with his pinky.

" If you were in that bad of a mood you should'a just said so!"

" I did just say so." I muttered bluntly.

" and anyways, That isn't what I was thinking about" I added. My voice less annoyed now.

" then what were you thinking about? I can't even tell cause you keep your eyes all covered up"

" This place is very familiar to me. I don't know why, but that intrigues me. does that suffice?"

" So you've caught on" Kukaku cut in.

" caught on to what Nee-chan?"

" we should be familiar, You've met us before"

" I have!"

" She has!" My voice and Ganju's mixed, resulting in something that wasn't at all understandable.

" Yes she has, Ganju do you remember Nata-chibi?" My eyes widened.

" Yeah, sure. She was a cute kid, shy as sin though I could barely get what she was saying through all the stuttering. What about 'er?" she walked up to me her hand slipped behind my Hiate. I jerked away imeditally. But that jerk caused the knot tying my hiate to my head to come undone . I barely registered the shock as the metal made a dull clunk against the floor. No one had dared do that before. Not even Toushiro. He always let me undo the metal and cloth band myself. Never had he even tried.

" You looked familiar, but I had to get a good look at your eyes to tell for sure, You look just like her you know" Ganju's jaw hit the floor.

" No way! You and Nata… You aren't a thing alike!"

" can you honestly deny the resemblance Ganju?"

" So! Ha-"

" her name is _Hinata_ not Haruka. Aren't you happy to see your old playmate?"

" H-huh?" my eyebrow twitched. I'd been this guys _playmate?_

' _how much more complicated is my life gonna get?'_

" **only Kami knows that one. But she's telling the truth you know" **

' _W-what! I just met –' _

" **Well after you didn't see them for a long time you buried memories of them deep down. And as you Tou-san beat formalities into you. You forgot the lessons you were taught first, but seeing these two again seems to have awakened your memory of them slightly. Here I'll show you something." **

" _Kaku-nee? Gan-chan? What's the matter? " I was in a orange kimono. I climbed up onto the wooden platform above the grass. Eyeing them curiously . A ever so slightly younger Kukaku held a small ceramic cup to the sky. _

" _hey there Nata-chibs, I didn't think you'd find us " _

" _who died?" _

" _eh? How'd you know?" _

" _Because on my birthday-" I began. Then I stopped  
" Tou-sama never celebrates my birthday" _

" _What! That's stupid! Why wouldn't he celebrate your birthday?" Kukaku yelled. Putting down the cup and then slamming her one real hand on the wood. _

" _Because someone died that day." I said sadly._

" _Oh, I'm sorry" _

" _No. I don't remember having a birthday celebration so I don't miss it. He died when I was three. So on my birthday Tou-sama just sits outside with a bottle of stinky stuff" _

" _I see, well this is just water. Gan-chan Ain't old enough to drink. Tonight we're drinking to my Onii-san" _

" _You have an Onii-san too?" _

" _Yup! His name was Kaien!" Ganju stated proudly_

" _What's you Nii-san's name?" _

" _Neji!" _

" _Neji? that's odd, Nii-san's zanpakto was called Nejibana" _

" **well? Have you seen enough?"** I nodded mentally.

" How did I not remember you guys until now!"

" Cause your Tou-san's a mean piece of work"

" Eh?"

" He completely banned any mention of us within the Hyuuga after … what happened with your Kaa-san. And he forbade you from ever coming here again and erased any record of us. He even tampered with the tourist records."

" well, I-I guess that'd be like him." I stated softly. Not sure what to think. He'd banned mention of my Kaa-chan, and of my uncle as well after they had died.

" What the hell! If you and Nata are the same person what the hell made you like this?" tears bubbled beneath my lids I took a deep breath.

" Shit-" I took another deep breath

" Shit happened" I finished. Picking my hiate off the floor. I tied it around my head.

" What the hell kind of explanation is that!"

" but it's the only one I'm going to give" I stated sadly.

"it's the only explanation I can give"

I muttered walking away.

"O-oi! Get back-"

"Leave her Ganju" I can hear Kukaku's receding voice.

"Why?!"

"From the looks of it today isn't such a great day for her" I can barely hear her now.

"Don't you remember what happened today?" Is the last thing I hear.

_'Do you remember what happened today?' _

_'Do you remember what happened today?' _ Shifting, bouncing repeating echoing in my head

"Yes I do remember what happened today" I said to myself.

"Today's the day Neji-Nii told me he hated me"

**_Okay! I'm going to wrap it up here, just for the sake of an update. Mostly because I have a lot of stuff to do school wise. and let me tell you my weekend scares the living shizmonkies out of me. I swear. the seventh and eighth of november are out to blast my brains out. so heres how it goes. _**

**_Saterday November 7th 2009._**

**_SHSAT ( specialised high schools addmissions test): this is a two and a half hour long test that I've been studying for since summer. and I'm still not as prepared as I'd like to be. I'm fairly sure I can ace the english but the math is going to be terrible. to put it this way the prep involves sophmore level math. I'm not even out of middle school yet. in short I'm going to be a crying mess when I get out of there._**

**_Sunday November 8th 2009. _**

**_La gaurdia Audtions: this means I have to be at the school ( about fourty-five minutes traveling time when their isn't problems which there pretty much always are) at about 7:00 am. which means I'm out the house by 6:15. now for some people that might seem not so bad, but it's on a Saterday which is TERRIBLE!!! plus I'm going to be in their for about six goddamn hours. Why may you ask? because they say when audtioning for one studio the avarage wait to get in and out is about three hours. I'm audtioning for two studios. that means three hours for each one. _**


	21. Easedropping And Nostolgia

_**Hey everyone! Yes, I know I've been a lazy ass about updating, but it is that time of year where life sucks, I'm grounded and I'm doing too much work anyways, I GOT A FISH! His name is Toushiro, but I call him Toshi! Yes, I named my fish after Hitsugaya… but he's aqua! The excact shade of Hitsugya's eyes! Swear! He's so pretty! And helping me with the disclaimer! Oh and to everyone who showed some loving for the past couple chapters…. I'll put all your names at the end okay! I'm so so so sorry about that! As I said, I'm lazy.**_

_**Me: Well now for the disclaimer! Right Toushi!**_

_**Toushi: * flicks tail fin ***_

_**Me: You show off! Stop showing off your admittedly beautiful fins and help me!**_

_**Toushi: * swims away***_

_**Me: Aw! Don't be mad at me! I love you Toushi!**_

_**Me: Aw! You're so pweety! Yes you are! Yes you are!**_

_**Toushiro: Are you seriously cooing to a fish?**_

_**Me: But the fish is named after you!**_

_**Toushiro: I have one question**_

_**Me: Yes?**_

_**Toushiro: What in the hell is wrong with you? **_

_**Me: * pulls out book as high as mount everest* You really want to know? **_

_**Toushiro: * sweat drop* never mind**_

_**Me: What the hell was I even doing in the first place? **_

_**Hinata: The disclaimer Tsukihime-san**_

_**Me: Right! Thanks Hinata! **_

_**ALL: Tsukihime-nee doesn't own Bleach or Naruto!**_

**Yoroichi's point of view: **

"Kurosaki! Quit listening in!" the quincy boy yelled at Ichigo who was currently easdropping on the conversation between the Hyuuga girl Kukaku and Ganju. This was a funny group to be sure.

"Why! It's just listening!" Ichigo yelled back

"It's a private conversation!"

"Who cares!"

"If she's our friend then we deserve to know!"

"You seem kinda quick to trust her Ichigo" Chad interrupted.

"He has every reason to. That girl saved his life from what Kisuke told me"

"She did? I guess that's alright then" the large boy consented.

"So you've caught on" Kukaku's voice filtered through the door.

"Caught on to what Nee-chan?" her younger brother questioned quickly.

"We should be familiar, you've met us before"

"I have!"

"She has!" My feline ears could barely tell the two seperate sentences from eachother

"Yes she has, Ganju do you remember Nata-chibi?" My eyes widened. Could this really be the same girl? Sure they bore a resemblance, but was Kukaku going too far? I knew she had missed the little girl after she was forbidden from visiting. But she wouldn't be much more then eleven or twelve. Much too young to die, especially because she was a hardy healthy child.

"Yeah, sure. She was a cute kid, shy as sin though I could barely get what she was saying through all the stuttering. What about 'er?" a dull clank sounded

" You looked familiar, but I had to get a good look at your eyes to tell for sure, You look just like her you know"

"No way! You and Nata… You aren't a thing alike!"

"Can you honestly deny the resemblance Ganju?"

"So! Ha-"

"Her name is _Hinata_ not Haruka. Aren't you happy to see your old playmate?"

All jaws in the room hit the floor.

"Huh?" Kurosaki and the quincy boy choursed.

"How cool! They're like secret siblings!" Orhime cheered, I nearly chuckled at the girl's near impassable ability to adapt to any situation.

"How did I not remember you guys until now?" the Hyuuga-apparently Nata-chibi questioned.

"Cause your Tou-san's a mean piece of work"

"Eh?" the girls innocence is amusing. Strange really, for such an innocent girl to come out of that house.

"He completely banned any mention of us within the Hyuuga after … what happened with your Kaa-san." I winced as I remembered what Haruka's corpse had looked like, the amount of blood was sickening to even me.

and poor Nata, she had been clinging to body. insisting that her mother wasn't dead. that she was just sleeping because of giving birth to her little sister who's name was escaping me at the moment, Hana? Haruhi? It had started with a h and ended with an i but that was all I could really rememer.

I never knew what happened to Haruka's soul. No matter how hard we looked, we never found her.

" And he forbade you from ever coming here again and erased any record of us. He even tampered with the tourist records." Kukaku said bitterly. I knew she had a long standing rival with Hiashi over parenting methods. Obviously Haishi had won, the poor girl was stuck neck deep in formalities.

"Well, I-I guess that'd be like him." She stated softly.

"What the hell! If you and Nata are the same person what made you like this?" Ganju questioned. She takes a higly audiable breath.

"Shit-" another breath is heard

"Shit happened"

"What the hell kind of explanation is that!"

"it's the only one I'm going to give" she stated sadly.

"O-oi! Get back-"

"Leave her Ganju" Kukaku states

"Why?!"

"From the looks of it today isn't such a great day for her"

"Yes I do remember what happened today" only my feline ears pick up her whispers

"Today's the day Neji-Nii told me he hated me" on second thought perhaps Nata is not as innocent as she once was.

"Huh? Why would her brother say that?" Ishida mumbles

"Maybe it was just a fight?" Orihime suggests hopefully

"I think she just had a crappy older brother" Ichigo muttered.

_**Ugh. Forgive the shortness. I truly and honestly can't go anywhere with this. But don't worry next chapter I'm going to get into the whole Aizen conspiracy. So just bear with it. again. FORGIVE THE SHORTNESS! I'm grounded and my muse is currently occupied elsewhere. ( let's hope you see the product of that soon. It's being edited by my dear friend Egdyflower2470 ( AKA: Bakka-Neechan) No she's not my sister by blood or legally but we share a super close relationship so I just call her that. But either way, she's taking her sweet time editing it. just because her life, like mine is ridiculously busy at the moment. and she's not even editing a final draft, it's just really long. The word count at the moment ( this is subject to drastic changes) is at 6,622. Pretty goddamn long. but who the hell knows. God, I'm super sorry that this is so short. I feel like such an ass for taking so long and only giving you this. **_


	22. Suffacation And Secrets

_**Hey all! Yeah. I know, last chapter was a rip off, but this one will be better! *yawns* goddamn. I'm fucking tired, why am I tired? No I'm not writing this late at night. I just only got something like two hours of sleep last night, max… So yeah, I can function on three to four hours sleep, one to two hours not so much. **_

_**I also have an ELA project due. Maybe I should work on that, and do an extra credit entry or something. Or find the damn collage my mom most likely lost. (Most would not be mad, but this was a nice fucking collage! damn mother)**_

_**Yeah all this was last Monday**_

_**That and I also lost my voice. Which sucks all in itself. Because it means that NO ONE takes me seriously because my voice sounds weird and I can't complete my sentence without my voice going up and down and then failing miserably. Sometimes it's just a horse little whisper and sometimes I sound like a deranged duck. I've eaten like 3 packs of cough drops in these last two days since my voice went away. Just because the closest thing I've ever gotten to medical advice on a sore throat is to gargle salt water. Not that it's not a good cure; I just don't like salt water is all. (That's Tuesday through Thursday last week)**_

_**But on a brighter note my high school stuff is over! Yes, I know, I've been moaning about this for months, but you're about to hear the end of it for a long time! (As in until March or April, when specialized results get back) but yes, my application is due Friday so I can update like a semi-normal person! (This is Friday of last week)**_

_**On another bright note (depending on how you look at it) my temperature is 99.5 last times I checked! BEAT THAT! Uh, yes I am celebrating the fact I have a fever. I made like Hinata and ran out when it was pouring rain ( only people who read lavender lily will get that reference) and I stayed out pretty much all day, I helped edgyflower2470 ( Bakka) pick out a Christmas present for her little sister Brooke, who is surprisingly cool for being a younger sibling, I also helped Brooke make a flower with cheap clay and fix her hand study ( she's in a different school, but still takes art like moi) while waiting for Bakka to get all her chorus stuff ( the chorus show was AMAZING! As usual. Except for the sixth/seventh graders who I couldn't hear) and sort out how we were all getting to hope and anchor for karaoke. ( we only got to do like two songs, cause the place was full for most of the night) but we played American Idol wii in Polls's basement for awhile so it wasn't bad at all (According to polls's little brother I'm better than half the girls in show choir, which is flattering, but also slightly odd to hear) . And I did all of this in a light jacket and tee for most of it. And I never really dried off, and so I have a fever today. The moral of the story? I was right my mom was wrong that's what! (SHE thought I didn't have a fever)**_

_**Well, I had a lot of fun on Monday morning going to school feeling dizzy as fuck, ( I swear, I fell on my ass sitting down to eat breakfast, and I know my house backwards forwards and upside down. In other words, it was pathetic) it became manageable through the day, but crud my morning was terrible. And Monday's are never nice. **_

_**But On Tuesday I had to go home early because I was feeling dizzy and the school nurse didn't like the look of the back of my throat. (Apparently it had puss and looked red) and so I went home at lunch. (By foot. And I live nearly a half mile away. But no one can pick me up so they just called my dad's cell so I could get permission) and as it turns out I have strep! Yay! But I'm going back to school tomorrow (Thursday) because I'm on antibiotics so I'm no longer contagious! **_

_**So after school on Friday I went to starbucks, (I didn't buy anything) and after nearly getting kicked out I went to my friend Rebecca's for and I had a lot of fun with her and her siblings. (Again surprisingly cool for siblings) Rebecca beat me at Tetris, because she's amazing at Tetris and puzzle games are beyond me. we played dreidel ( I lost, but then again it was my first time playing) and my dad managed to ruin my mood as he drove me home ( it was like ten at night and Rebecca lives a bus ride away from my house) because some people were going to go bowling, but I already had plans with Bakka ( who my parents don't like much) and so it erupted into a fight. And I came home feeling miserable, but I talked with Rebecca again over facebook (she wasn't feeling well) so then I felt all better!**_

_**I get my braces off on Sunday!! YAY!!!! No more metal! It feels so SMOOTH!!!**_

_**But anyways enough with my bitching/moaning/babbling like an idiot, on to the disclaimer! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: * sighs* I wish I owned Bleach and Naruto , but that's only a wish and I don't have a fairy godmother ( nor is it on my Christmas list) so Kubo and Kishimoto sensei's are the owners of Bleach and Naruto…… FOR NOW!**_

_**(XD avenue Q reference which I also don't own for those in the know)**_

_**By the by, this will be set after Aizens "murder" and the day of Hinamori and Hitsugaya's whole confrontation thing-a-ma-bob those who haven't watched past soul society arc I suggest you watch that ( you will be blown away by the awesomness of it all) and then read. **_

**Hitsugaya's point of view**

'_Hinata has been acting kind of odd lately, especially after what happened with Aizen. I can't remember her ever mentioning him before, so I don't think she's grieving. Maybe she's worried over Hinamori? They are close' _

"**why don't you quit hypothesizing and ask her!" **my eyebrow twitched.

'_Oh shut the hell up! She's not here dumbass!' _

"**Not now at least" **and with that he faded away to the depths of my mind.

"Damn zanpakto" I muttered under my breath. A knock sounded at the door.

"Come in" I called gruffly.

"Soi-fong taicho asked me to deliver this Hitsugaya-Taicho" Hinata's voice, cold and respectful, sounded from the door. She placed a stack of papers on my desk. I nearly groaned.

"A-ano. Ari-Arigato" I raised an eyebrow.

"And what would you be thanking me for?"

"I never formally thanked you for saving my life" she said in a curt and constrained voice. Like she was only saying half of what she wanted to. Yes, she was acting strange. She actually had thanked me, several times in fact. Just what was with her lately?

"That isn't needed" I replied just as curtly. She bowed

"I'll take my leave then Hitsugaya-taicho" walking out. I narrowed my eyes.

'_What the hell?' _this was by no means normal for her. She was keeping secrets from me and honestly, I hated it. I sighed, glancing at the pile of work she had delivered. The stack was pretty much perfect, no papers were noticeably out of line, except for one. In fact it was a small folded bundle.

'_a letter?' _a tingle went down my spine. It was just like the letter we had found in Aizen's quarters. It wasn't the same letter, but the unsettling feeling in my stomach just wouldn't go away. I carefully extracted the letter from the pile, placing in my desk for later.

I swallowed, and sighed. I needed to get this done, than I could look at the letter. I wasn't going to let my squad suffer because of my curiosity. I sighed, just where in the hell was Matsumoto! This was her damn work anyways! As if on cue Matsumoto walked in.

"Where have you been?" I questioned annoyance becoming clear.

"A-ah about that…" she trailed off.

"Do your work. Now" I got up from my desk making sure to slip the letter into the pocket of my uniform

"T-Taicho!" I left before she could finish the sentence. Just what was I doing anyway? It's not like I could just go to Hinata. She was most likely in the streets of the seireitei by now, and I knew that I couldn't jeopardize her in such a way;

If anyone saw us, I'd most likely only lose my rank which was bad enough in itself, but the consequences for her would be far worst.

Not only would she lose her rank, but they would most likely confiscate and perhaps destroy her zanpakto. And then either send her to the maggots nest or back into the rukon. It would be all her hopes and dreams going down in a flaming wreck. No, this was exactly we always met at night. So no one would see.

Some parts of me hated this aspect of our relationship. I would never be able to just walk with her, to hold her hand, even to have a casual conversation with her.

It wasn't fair! Had I stayed in the rukon, had I not gotten this power, I would've met her anyway! I would've met her, I would be able to walk with her, I would be able to hold her hand, I'd be able to talk with her, hell I'd be able to laugh with her! It wasn't fair!

But then again life isn't fair. I learned that early on, did I deserve to be stared at back then? Did I deserve to be lonely? Does any child deserve that? To put it shortly no, loneliness is hell. No one truly deserves that.

I opened the door to my quarters. I hadn't even realized I'd come here. I sighed, the place was small, but I honestly didn't really like large extravagant things much anyways.

"**You're going to die of a heart attack if you worry like this too often" **My eyebrow twitched again.

'_Piss off you damn dragon' _

"**Yare yare you're certainly cranky; does the baby need to take a nap?" **

'_What was that!' _my thoughts screeched. If Hyourinmaru had been anyone else, he would've been deep frozen by now.

A nap actually sounded kind of nice, I actually am tired. The whole ryoka problem was getting out of hand, and with Aizen's murder on top of that… to put it shortly, I was losing a lot of sleep. Even Hinata had noticed.

"_Toushiro, if you're losing sleep you don't have to meet me you know" she breathed in deeply and I could feel her torso fill with air against my chest, I shook my head, which was currently lying against the crook of her neck. _

"_I don't mind meeting you" I replied, wrapping my arms around her waist. She exhaled suddenly. _

"_Toushiro" she inhaled audibly. _

"_I'm worried" she whispered. She swallowed. _

"_I mean. Aizen, He was murdered. If these ryoka were able to do that to one captain, then… then it could happen again. I- I mean. What if… what if it's you next time? I don't want to find you pinned to a wall with… with" her body trembled against my own with surprising force._ _I shushed her. _  
_"That's not going to happen. I promise" my lips find her temple. A fast little pulse beats against my lips, as if it wants to break free from its porcelain prison._

"_And what does sleep have to do with that?" my head again dropped to the crook of her neck. _

"_Besides, I sleep better around you anyways" I mumbled, as if to prove my point my lids drooped and felt my body shift to something softer. And there I was, stuck in the strange drugged twilight that was between dreams and wakefulness. _

_The pulse that pounded against my cheek from deep in her chest implored me to stay awake, and her soft humming lullaby called me into dreams. And I was content to let those two forces to play tug of war with my conscience. _

"_I never knew dragons slept so quietly" I chuckled despite myself. _

"_Dragons are __**not**__ quiet sleepers" she blinked looking down, blushing slightly. _

"_I-I thought you were asleep!" she muttered. _

"_I was, but honestly you should hear Hyourinmaru snore" _

" _**What was that Shorty!"**__ Hyourinmaru yelled in my head. Quite obviously flustered. _

"_Your zanpakto…snores?" a smile washed over her face as she collapsed into a fit of giggling . I lifted my body so I was sitting up again. I felt my chest fill up with something. Some type of strange pride that I had made her laugh, I had given her a bit of happiness._

"_Nata?" She caught her breath. A smile still adorning her face as tiny giggles bubbled from her lips. _

"_You should laugh like that more often" _

I took out the letter. I turned it in my hands, I could tell the paper was cheap, as it felt rough in my hands the particles of the paper not as fine as the expensive paper of the noble's.

On the front it said 'Toushiro', I traced the lines, the ink too was rough, too much of the ink stick had been crushed into it and not enough water added to the mix , judging by the fact that I could feel tiny bits of pigment against my fingers.

I felt like I was investigating the strange letter, judging if it had any type of threat ingrained into the cheap paper and bumpy letters. This was a letter from Hinata for kami's sake!

She wasn't a accomplice of Ichimaru Gin, she had nothing to do with Aizen's murder, this didn't have anything to do with her. Did it? I immediately shook my head.

She didn't have anything to do with all of this. She was strong, but not enough to defeat a taicho level shinigami with no evidence of the battle left behind. That was most definitely impossibility.

"**This is just ridiculous. Just open the damn letter already!" **Hyourinmaru snapped losing his patience.

' _fine' _my thoughts mumbled, I couldn't believe myself, all these paranoia born rants were utterly idiotic. I opened the letter, I glanced over the contents, intending to skim it, but such efforts failed as I began to focus on her writing.

'_Wow, her handwriting is amazing. But a couple of the words are smudged I wonder why?'_

"**You're getting distracted again, are you sick or something?"** Hyourinamru muttered. I shook my head again, hoping that the movement would keep me focused.

_Toushiro-kun, _

_I know I should've said this in person. But I'm not sure I'll be able to. _The next words were smudged as if water had fell on it as she was writing. it wasn't raining.

'_tears maybe?_ _But why would she be crying?' _my eyes looked to the next non-smudged words

_I decided to write this, Aizen isn't dead. _

' _What! Th-that's impossible! I saw his body! He was dead!' _

_I know it sounds crazy, but I can think of no other explanation to it. Unohana Taicho asked for my help to examine the body that was pinned to the wall, and we found it to be a fake. Not that he made a mistake in creating the proper wound , but I was able to see that the thing we were exaiming had never drawn reistu, but it was more like a…. I don't even know what it was like, but it wasn't human. _the next lines were blurred.

_Toushiro I'm scared. more scared then you could imagine, not of the ryoka, but something is brewing beneath the surface. But I don't know what, and to me that's the scariest thing_

_I have to find out what he's trying to do. It was like when Rin died, I could feel it coming, call it a woman's intution. If I don't come back tonight_ _I can only hope you find it in your heart to forgive me_

_Hyuuga Hinata_

Her small neat name stopped the letter in such a way that you expected there to be a P.S at the bottom, answering the questions that had been posed in the letter.

"If you don't come back?" I whispered too shocked to even keep the words inside.

' _just what's going on! Aizen isn't dead? A fake body?' _

' _Hinata, just what are you planning on doing!' _

**Hinata's Point of view**

_'Suimimasen, Toushiro, but I have to do this' _ I thought as I ran through the halls of the central fourty six archives. searching for any traces of reiatsu. confusion fueled my steps, as I stumbled through the maze of shelves. I held on tight to the glimmer of reiatsu that called me onward. What was going on! Why did Aizen fake his own death?

"Yare yare, I didn't think I'd be having guests" a masculine voice called out behind me, all velvet and malice. I stopped dead in my tracks, my legs suddenly becoming chained to the floor. a deep suffacating fear wept from every pore in my skin.

A hand placed itself on my shoulder, the hand was warm, yet it sent off warning signals to every part of me, my mind screamed to run, to get the fuck out of there. but all I could do was shake as I was pushed against one of the shelves.

"W-why?" my quivering voice hangs in the silence.

"Why what Hinata-kun? you're going to have to be little more specific" a scent so familiar carries with his breath.

_I rubbed my eyes, yawning._

_"who's there?" my little voice called out, I clutched my blankets to my chest. I could feel a presence in the room, I was afraid, yet I couldn't move, it was like I being suffocated. _

_"No one's here Hinata-kun, only you" a masculine voice called, I could practically feel the voice, with a fake softness that was used to hide ill intent. a scent blew across my nose, the. my head searched frantically for the voice. _

_"Who's there!" I yelped desperately , before my mouth was covered. I tried to kick and stuggle, but I was only rewarded with the deep black of unconciousness._

___"Y-You're" I trembled even more, _

_' you're the reason Haizaish is dead,____you're the reason Neji-Nii hated me. You're the reason for all of this!'_

"Yes Hinata-kun? What am I?" my tears are caught by my hiate.

"You're the one who tried to take me that night" my voice was but a whisper in the cavournous library.

"So this is what that little girl grew up to be. I was honeslty surprised to hear that you were going to become a shinigami, and I'll tell you something now Hinata-kun, I'm not an easy man to surprise"

"the byakugan has played right into my hands"

"Y-You wanted the byakugan! That's why you had a man killed!"

"You mean that brown haired man with the mark on his forehead?" I nodded despite myself.

"Gin had an awful lot of fun with him, He called out for you, and for that son of his" tears rushed past my hiate. Dripping to the floor.

"Does that sadden you Hinata-kun?" his tone stirred rage within me. How did this evil man make his way to soul society? Why wasn't he a hollow! Why couldn't I just cut his damn head off and be done with it!

"You… You bastard!" I flung my fist out, but he easily caught it. he twisted it behind my back, I could see his smile as I screamed out at the unexpected pain.

"It's quite useless to struggle _Hinata-kun_" that scent dances across my nose , that voice, all it's velvet was wrapping around my mouth and nose, replacing my air with sweat and something thick, like peanut butter.

That voice just made me squirm more. No matter how much pain it caused in my arm, I would not be a weakling this time!

But it resulted in was me being pinned to the wall by my wrists He was only using one hand, He only needed one hand to hold back all of my strength.

"Let me go!" I screamed. He rammed his fist into my stomach, effectively silencing me. I gasped, trying to pull in wheezing breaths of thick air.

"You've grown quite a bit, almost as beautiful your late Okaa-san" all I could do was squeak weakly . How did he know my mother? Why had he been in the Shinobi continents? Why did he want the byakugan?

"now then Hinata-kun," his face was but inches from my own. Too close, far too close. I could see his eyes so clearly.

They were a muddy mohagany brown. Not like Momo's chocolate brown or even Kiba-kun's russet brown. Fear pulsed through me. his eyes were hazed over with a emotion I'd never seen.

A mix between longing and something that made me squirm and look away, I felt like he was staring right through my clothes, he made me feel naked and exposed to anything he wanted to do with me.

Flashes of my mothers calls for mercy screeched through my head. Lust, that was what it was, I knew the implications of the look, I shook my head, a wheezy

"No" whispering from my throat.

"Now, now Hinata-kun, what have I said about being specific" He slapped me, the resounding crack startling me more the stinging pain of his reiastu. Slapping a Hyuuga was a blantent sign of disrespect. No one had ever slapped me before, not even my father.

it was sadistic. It was tourture. His gaze was enough to make me enraged and scared out of my wits at the same time.

"Let me go" His eyes narrowed, a displeased look staining his features.

"you are to tell no one of this" "

"One whisper of this incident and you will be found pinned to the wall with a sword sticking out of those pretty eyes of yours it that understood? What you found when you came here was only a open book with the word Hogyoku" I nodded freverently. Fear making my muscles spasm and my heart pound unpleasantly against my chest.

I could see it perfectly. The forest green hilt of his sword. The blood dripping down my cheeks like tears. I could trace my stunned and empty expression . my eyes open and empty like my Kaa-chan's had been.

"H-Hogy-Hogyoku?" fear made me stumble over the unfamiliar word.

"yes. Now leave" I needed no order. I ran, how was it that with only his voice he made me feel so..so…so … violated. No one noticed my hurried steps, no one noticed my suppressed sobs or my apparent tears as I ran.

I ran along a practiced path, my patrol route. It wasn't even my night to patrol and I didn't really care. I just needed to get as far away from the central fourty six, from Aizen, as possible.

I was aware of the dull ache in my arms and my stomach where he had struck me. I touched my cheek experimentally, and I hissed at the lingering pain. I swallowed.

' _quit whimpering and crying like a baby! You've dealt with worse then this!' _I wiped my tears away. Shaking my head. He had done nothing to me, a slap and punch was nothing compared to what Otou-sama had done to me.

' _this is nothing' _I hopped on to the roof of Toushiro's office. barely constrained fear and panic pound just beneath the surface.

Hogyoku, just what the hell was that?Was it a state of matter, or a unknown form of reishi? Was it an object? I nearly chuckled out loud what was this, twenty questions?

I felt for Toushiro's reiastu. It wasn't in his office, but rather a bit of into the east. That was odd, it wasn't like him to skip out on work. Was he sick? At the thought worry pushed past fear and I ran towards his reiastu, making sure to stay in the shadows.

I stopped as I came to a small house. A lone light was on, and the paper doors let out a warm yellow light. The light is comforting and I feel drawn to it. I don't even get why, but I felt like I needed to be nearer to that light.

I slipped in through the open window, the room I had entered was dark. Almost immeditally I felt cold air brush around me. as I took in the small room I saw Leaned up against the wall, Toushiro's sleeping form.

He was still in his clothing and his hair was utterly disheveled, in one word, he was utterly cute. I sat down beside him. he didn't even stir.

"Toushiro" I shook his shoulder slightly. He stirred ever so slightly. Groaning as he rubbed his eyes.

"N…Nata?" he mumbled. His eyes slowly opening. Within a couple of moments the haze of sleep had melted from his eyes.

"W-what are you doing here? And how the hell did you get in?" he questioned.

"Y-You left the window open" nervousness turns in my stomach as I realized I forgot to heal my cheek.

"what happened to your cheek?" he sounds concerned but I can only think of Aizen's words_. "One whisper of this incident and you will be found pinned to the wall with a sword sticking out of those pretty eyes of yours' _ he whispered in my ear.

I shivered, my muscles tensing. I was suddenly over aware of Toushiro's questioning and accusing stare.

His stare was quickly becoming so much like Aizen's. that unnerving undressing gaze that made me nervous and scared. That told me to run, yet pinned me cruely to the floor.

"Nata? What's wrong with you! W-why are you shivering? Are you cold? Did something happen?" I attempted to shake my head, but I was shaking so bad that it looked like a nod.

"N-nothing happened, I'm-" a blur of white danced across my perception.

" Do not say you are fine" he whispered dangerously. He had my wrists pinned to the wall behind us with only one hand. Flashes of pain flummoxed from my already injured wrists. Tears began to prick in my eyes again. Toushiro's free hand undid my hiate.

"Hinata-"

"Stop" I whispered. He let my wrists go. They fell limply to my sides. He caressed my scar ever so softly. Tears fell from my eyes to my cheeks to my trembling knees

"What happened? Who did this to you?" I shook my head

"I can't tell you" my voice was pathetically cracked with tears. His eyes piqued with panic.

"You don't have to tell me anything" he began, his words coming out rushed.

"J-Just let me hold you" I blinked at his strange request. This wasn't like him. It wasn't like him at all.

He was inquisitive, he didn't stop asking until he found an answer. I nodded hesitantly, letting him take me into his arms. And ever so slowly, I began to relax into his hold.

"Why?"

"Why what? I can't read your mind Nata"

"Y-you would usually ask what I was hiding. So why aren't you asking?" I mumbled into his chest.

"I was going to" He stated quietly.

"But, I saw your eyes. And you…"

"You were afraid of me" he whispered into my hair. I could practically feel the sorrow drip from his voice. I blinked, had I honestly been afraid of him?

"I" he just shook his head. Placing a hand on my cheek, directly over the bruise Aizen had caused. His hands glowed a soft green as numbingly cold green healing kido slowly erased the damage. His soothing reiastu replacing the menacing suffocating reiatsu that Aizen had left behind.

"Anywhere else?" I nodded dumbly. My hand hovered over where his fist had connected with my stomach.

"There?" I nodded. But I nearly yelped as he placed a firm hand on my stomach, Both due the pain that it caused at the freezing temperature of his hand.

"Does that hurt?" I gulped.  
"S-suimimasen" I hung my head in shame.

"it's fine" His hand slipped beneath my robe. I was immediately paralyzed.

"W-w-w-w-w-what are d-doing?" I felt red tingling from every pore of my skin.

"Healing you. I'm not a very good healer so I need to be in direct contact with to object I'm trying to heal or else they freeze" as the sentence finished he pulled his hand away.

"Was that so bad?" I shook my head no. It had actually nice. His touch felt clean, and fresh. The worry remained, but I knew that wouldn't go away until this whole crisis was solved.

"Arigato" I kissed him softly, his kiss back was fierce and protective, I could feel the passion spark deep in my stomach. I couldn't care less that my back was pushed uncomfortably against the floor.

We only separated as our unfortunate need for oxygen kicked in. the burning that took place inside my lungs caused me to pull away panting. My whole body felt warm, and every nerve buzzed with pleasure. Heated shivers rippled down my spine.

Toushiro too was panting slightly and his lips glinted in the moonlight. And for those precious minutes that's all there was. Our soft inhalation of air, smoldering eyes, our mingling body heat and reiatsu.

"Nata" his voice was soft, the clear voice hidden by a strange masculine shell.

"You taste like tears today. Why were you crying?"

"Nothing" I replied, my voice almost robotic.

'_Nothing I can tell you anyways' _

_**Okay, time to post this thing! Goddamn. This thing is over 5,000 words! Well, I hope that this isn't a rip off like last chapter. I think I might just merge that with the chapter before it, it's so short. Or maybe I'll just delete it all together. Who knows? But anyway, here are the people who've shown their love!**_

_**CHAPTER 20!!!!!**_

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_**Chapter 21**_

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_**chapter 22**_

_**review:**____**ellieorchid,fujikawa-hikaru123,Soraya the All Speaker,Soraya the All Speaker,purpleshine,xxHinaAngelxx ,AmethystEntity , AnimeMixDJ,Fuzzy PJ's,A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA- Fairy,Namikaze naruko14,Flare Ride,**_

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_**so anyways, thanks for reading everyone!**_


	23. Suspicions And Impulses

_**Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu! (Happy new year in Japanese) time for the first update of two thousand ten! **_

_**God, I can't believe it's a new decade. I didn't really realize it until the ball dropped but holy shit! The decade is over! **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't claim anything but the plot…. Because I'm pathetic like that. **_

_**This is set when Momo fights Toshiro. Because I feel like skipping around a bit in this arc, because getting here took forever, I guess I'll fill it in with flashbacks later. GO FLASHBACKS!!!!!**_

**Toushiro point of view**

"Mastumoto. Go back without me" I stated it slowly, hoping that just maybe if I said it slowly the new forming plan in my mind would stay where it was. But it only develops more and more, becoming more and more possible with each moment.

"I'm going to save Hinamori" I had no clue what the hell I was even saying, what the hell I was doing, but, something pushed me to do this while simultaneously wailing a call I couldn't ignore. Logic versus instinct, the never ending battle of humankind.

I knew exactly where I was going, squad three. Only three squads away from the holding cells of squad six where Hinamori had been detained. Detained by my own order, I knew Aizen's death was going to be hard on Hinamori.

He had been the most important person in her life after all, above me, above Obaa-san, above all of her innumerable friends. As much as I hadn't liked that fact it was true, he had, and still stood at the top of her world.

I dropped down on a sort of wooden area used for training. Tenth squad didn't have such an area do to the fact that many of our squad members used techniques that were quite abrasive to wood. So we just used the ground for training.

I felt both Ichimaru and Kira's reiatsu approaching. It was a leisurely pace, as if they were walking casually. They seemed to be in no hurry to get to their destination, which was most likely beyond this training area.

I took a deep breath. What was Gin's connection with Aizen? What could make Hinamori want to kill him so much? I knew she suspected him of murdering Aizen, I shared that suspicion, but why would she go so far?

I heard padding footsteps approaching. The steps were slow, leisurely in fact. As if they were only taking a nighttime walk. I could see as the shadows slowly melted away from both Gin and Kira.

"I knew I'd find you two together" my voice was cold, calculating. Trying desperately to hide deep seated malice.

"Just as I thought"

"Only Kira's cell was opened from the outside" quiet facts assemble themselves, ready for battle. Suspicions finding proof, clues finding answers.

"You didn't cover your tracks very well… Gin" malice seeped into my tone, my eyes narrowing. He chuckled lightly at my accusations.

"Cover my tracks?" I felt my body tense. Fight or flight kicking in. increased awareness, sharper senses. Such were the affects of having an excess of adrenaline running around your body.

"I did that on purpose… so you'd know"

So he lured me here? Oh well, I was going to kill him so what should it matter?

"**Toushiro, it would be wise on your part to tread lightly. Don't make rash decisions"** normally I would have paid my zanpakto's advice mind, but today, I felt as if I couldn't hear him. I placed my hand on Hyourinmaru's sheathe.

"I'm glad I got here before Hinamori" I started out slowly. My mind not yet quite made up.

"I'm going to kill you before she gets here" I felt my reiatsu begin to flow from my core. To me an icy and rough presence, but Hinata had always described it as otherwise.

A loud thump sounded as someone landed heavily on the wood floor. I nearly gasped in shock as I recognized the presence.

"Hinamori!" She took an audible breath. Something within me shifted ever so slightly. I didn't feel the anger that I had felt before, only a desperate sort of shock was left within me.

"I've finally found you" she took another breath. As if with each word she spoke she had to run a marathon.

"So this is where you were" her voice is soft, calculating. I've never heard her use such a tone. She began to stand. Her legs are completely still; even as she rises I can sense the movements are robotic. She turned towards Gin.

"Stop! Hinamori! "She began to draw her sword. I felt my eyes widen, if she fought him she'd be dead in a heartbeat

"He's too strong!"

"Stay back and let me deal with him" her sword was nearly out of it's sheathe now.

"Hinamori!" I called out to her one last time as her sword left it's sheathe. She turned towards me. The cold metal of her blade resting against my shoulder.

"Hina…mori?" I felt cold and unadulterated confusion pass through me, devouring whatever sense of myself that I had. Now all that mattered was her, and how to erase the cold hurt expression from her face.

"This is for Aizen Taicho" he took a shuddering breath.

"Therefore if you are reading this then I'm probably dead"

"To the one I trust most"

"I confide the truth of what I have discovered"

"In the course of my investigation I reached a conclusion and why the execution date keeps changing"

"The truth of why Kuchiki Rukia must be executed"

"The true goal of the execution is not to kill Rukia, but so that something may be stolen"

"And that thing is…"

"The Sokyoku"

"The Sokyoku, whose seal is released only for executions, has the destructive and defensive power of a million zanpakto, furthermore during the execution of a shinigami this power can be increased by several dozen times momentarily"

"The one who plotted the execution intends to use the Sokyoku not only to destroy the Seireitei, but the entire soul society"

"The name of this despicable person is…"

"Hitsugaya Toushiro" Only now do the depth of her words sink in. She thinks I'm a murderer. Someone who arranged to have someone killed so that they could destroy the soul society and everyone in it. She thinks I killed the most important person in her life.

"Aizen said that… in his letter?" my words are slow. Aizen would never say such a thing. The letter had to be a fake. There just wasn't any way he would say that.

"Yes" her voice is so sure. Determined, just like she is. Once she found a goal for herself she wouldn't stop until she achieved it. It was this quality that had pushed her so far.

"And it continued"

"Tonight I have called him to the eastern wall, I must foil his plot at all costs If he will not back down then I am prepared to fight him."

"But if I die, Hinamori-kun"

"Please carry on for me, and kill him"

"That is my last wish" her hands are shakking, causing her sword to bite into my skin.

"Not as gobantai taicho" her voice cracks, just like Hinata's had just last night when she came to my quarters. Upset and scared beyond any logic but touch.

It was strange, the almost maternal feeling that took over me that night. But I could feel that was just what she needed. The mother she hadn't seen in at least two years.

"But as a man" her words, no. the words of the letter faded into a blood curdling scream of fury. I jumped backwards as a burst of her reiastu tore up the wood beneath me

"Get a hold of yourself Hinamori!"

"I'm dead so avenge me? is that something Aizen would say?" I tried desperately tried to be reasonable, despite the fear burrowing deep in my chest.

"The Aizen I knew wasn't a fool who would start a battle he couldn't win nor a coward who would make his subordinate clean up his mess!" I hated to direct any type of compliment towards him, but maybe Hinamori would listen if I did. I mean, what murder would compliment his victim?

"B-But that's what it said! I didn't read it wrong!" she swiped at me with her zanpakto.

"It was Aizen-Taicho's handwriting! I know it!" another slash, easily dodged.

"I didn't want to believe it!" she swang again, I dodged again.

"But it was his last wish! "A third time she swung her sword, and a third time I dodged her frenzied swipe.

"Aizen Taicho " she stoped. Tears taking trembling paths down her cheeks.

"I…I…I"

"I don't know what to do anymore… Shiro-chan" I nearly yell that it's Hitsugaya-Taicho, but for this once I just let her have her way. Maybe calling me by something more familiar could help her calm down.

But such a thing, I found, was just a pipe dream, as she changed once again blade raised towards me.

I jumped high into the air, avoiding all the shrapnel and bursts of reiastu.

' _goddamn it! She's too upset to think straight! The person who forged the letter must have done it to make me and Hinamori kill each other! ' _

Suddenly it dawned on me. Who had the ability, who had the motive, who had the suspicion.

"So this is your work too.. Ichimaru!" I charged towards him, falling faster than I had ever anticipated I could without using shunpo. I felt a strange single minded desire to kill Gin coursing through my veins. Strange only because I unused to acting on impulse.

But as soon as I went to draw my sword Hinamori appeared in front of me. so this is why I never acted on impulse. All that happened was unnecessary injuries.

I cursedflinging out a hand and praying to whatever deity who existed that I hadn't hurt her. My prayers were not answered as I heard a tell tale thump that said that Hinamori had not landed on her feet.

"Hinamori!" I turned towards her. And perhaps I shouldn't have. Her motionless body was enough to make my formally hot blood cool to sub-zero temperatures with fear that I had killed her.

Sure I could see her chest rising and falling with each breath of air that echoed through her, but I had hurt her. With my own hands, that wasn't who I wanted to be. I wanted to protect the people close to me, not hurt them!

I was sick of hurting people. Baa-chan, Hinata, and now Momo too? Why the hell was I such a fuck up! I wanted to close my eyes against her bloody hands but I couldn't. This was reality. I had to face it. No matter how much it hurt.

" My my, That was a bit mean of you, did you really have to hit the girl so hard?"

"Just what the hell are you up to Ichimaru?"

"Just Aizen wasn't enough for you?" my voice held a slight wavering note that I wasn't used to.

"You had to make Hinamori suffer too. Driving her crazy, making her grip her sword until her hands bled"

"Why, I don't have a clue of what your talking about Juubantai taicho-han_( tenth squad captain)_" Ichimaru said with that oh so fake voice that made me twitch with rage.

"I warned you" I felt rage flowing uninhibited through me. I felt my reiatsu slip out, flitting around in white glowing steam.

"If you made her spill a single drop of blood"

"I'd kill you"

_**HAHA!! A cliffy! Sorry, this is another rip off chapter, but I'm working on a whole bunch of other stuff (some of which you can see if you go to my profile! They are all hitsuhinata oneshots! Okay shameless self promotions are over),I suck and transposing scenes from the manga. And I'm afraid of doing a battle scene. It'll be my first one, so I'm not quite sure how to do it. but anyways, thanks so much to these people for showing their loving! If I accidentally left you out TELL ME!!!! **_

_**Review: A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA Fairy,ellieorchid,xxHinaAngelxx,LadiiReckless,AmethystEntity,Namikaze naruko14,phobia97,OBSERVER01,AnimeMixDJ,Soraya the All Speaker, Valkyn Highwind**_

_**favorite:AmethystEntity,1topdog,FlareRide,GakuenAngel12,phobia97,OBSERVER01,xxSilverBladexx,yuukifan001*,NaoInk, Valkyn Highwind ( story and author! Thanks so much doll!)**_

_**alert:Shi-shiNata,Valkyn Highwind (story and author again! Double thanks to you!),Thorlain,UchihaKat**_


	24. Bare Feet And Confusion

_**Hey everyone! **_

_**I'm sorry my updating has been so spastic, but… for lack of a better explanation there's just been a lot of drama in my life lately. And not stupid, someone likes the person I like kind of drama (Though that is going on, it's the least of my problems) **_

_*** WARNING!!!!!! DO NOT READ THIS SECTION OF THE AUTHORS NOTE IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE MENTION OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. THIS IS AN **__**ACTUAL **__**WARNING. NOT A JOKE TO SEE HOW MANY OF YOU HEED/DON'T HEED THE AFROMENTIONED WARNING. AGAIN DON'T READ THIS SECTION OF THE AUTHORS NOTE IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE MENTION OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES***_

_**I'm talking drugs and alcohol drama. Adult stuff. I'm only thirteen! I shouldn't have to deal with this shit! (At least not yet) I live in a decent neighborhood, I get decent grades, I go to a great school, and yet I'm writing this.**_

_**I thought that if I made sure that I went to school at the right places, surrounded by kids who knew what they were doing, that I would be in a place without this kind of shit. **_

_**It isn't just the "bad" kids that do drugs and drink and smoke. Or even a combination of all three. It's the good kids to, the kids that are amazingly smart and talented, kids that "aren't stupid enough" to go near that kind of thing. But we are. They all know the risks, they just do it anyways. And to be perfectly honest, I'm scared. **_

_**Not that I'm guilt free. I've smoked. And I know what it does to your lungs, so don't review to lecture me on that, I know it was stupid no question about it.**_

_**But I'm even more worried for my friends. I know they are all smart, smarter than me really. But they drink, smoke, do drugs, all those things that we're told to "just say no" to. One friend can get her permit soon, and she is one of my friends that drink. **_

_**I have a deep seated fear of car accidents. I know this seems unrelated but just hear this out. But I had an Aunt Trish at one point,( she was my second cousin or something like that but that is besides the point) **_

_**Anyways the one day that it was sunny in my families trip to cape cod we went to a Boston red sox game (though we are Yankee fans) and I remember it because the pitcher gave me the ball. (Yup, I was one of the cute little kids that got a ball from the pitcher, suprising isn't it?) I was only like three or four then. **_

_**But then she died in a car accident when I was still a little kid. And I can remember her body really clearly, even now years and years later. It didn't involve drunk driving, but regardless I don't want my friends in a drunk accident. **_

_*** NOW YOU MAY READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE MENTION OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES THE AFORMENTIONED MENTIONING OF THE AFORMENTIONED SUBSTANCES ARE ALL OVER NOW, YOU MAY READ MY HEARTFELT THANKS***_

_**I can't believe I just wrote this… I mean it is getting published on the internet, And I guess it really isn't what you want to hear about. But nonetheless I really needed to get it out. **_

_**Lately fanfiction has been my escape from the weird drama that is my life right now. So think of this not as my bitching and moaning but as a huge ass thanks to all of you for keeping me sane. **_

_**In other less depressing news I got purple boots!!!! And not just any shade of purple, LAVENDER!!! Isn't it beautiful? Yes, my life isn't all that depressing, so don't you peoples worry bout me! **_

_**I honestly don't mean to worry you all. I just needed to vent a bit. And I'm kinda working on getting the guy I like to notice me as more then a friend, and the good news is that it's working (sort of) ! Heh, who knew showing off a bit of one's cleavage could do one so much good? (How do I know it's working? Well does throwing a pen and an afro comb at ( down) my shirt count as him noticing me as more then a friend? I sure as hell think so! The only problem is that he was being an ass by talking about a girl in my class… Stupid bastard, giving me mixed signals. :P)**_

_**I know it sounds slutty, but honestly it's not bad compared to some of the other girls in my class, I mean, there was a girl in my class last year who **_

_**A: wore a double bra ( meaning she wore her own size bra and then put something bigger over it) **_

_**B: wore extreme push up bras ( for both the bras) **_

_**C: always had half of her brightly colored bra showing, no matter the whether (kidding here folks. It was below freezing and this girl still had half her bra showing o_0) **_

_**D: and on top of all that stuffed her bras! Both of them! **_

_**Wow. I just spent all of that paragraph justifying wearing a slightly lower shirt, didn't I? You know, reading this I just realized I sound kind of bipolar. OH WELL!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach or Naruto. Though I wish I did.**_

**Hitsugaya's point of view ( recap is in italics)**

"_I warned you" I felt rage flowing uninhibited through me. I felt my reiatsu slip out, flitting around in white glowing steam. _

"_If you made her spill a single drop of blood" _

"_I'd kill you"_

*** Recap over***

Gin moved his hand to his sword, reiatsu pouring from him.

"If ya drawn yo' sword 'ere"

"I'll be forced to stop 'ya" reiatsu swirled in the air around us, long femented hatred and rage making a wooshing sound.

"I-Ichimaru-Taicho" Kira's voice seemed weak, all breath and no sound.

"Stay back, Izuru"

"Ya don' wanna die yet do ya'?" He shook his head no

"Don't be a fool" I called grimly

"staying back isn't enough"

"Freaking disappear!"

"And even when you can't see us keep going"

"Because if you're within twelve kilometers"

"I can't guarantee I won't kill you unintentionally!" and with that I charged, swinging and missing, breaking the wood flooring beneath us in a way that wasn't so unlike what Hinamori had.

Again I swung Hyourinmaru at him. After a couple of blocks He knocked me away, stabbing his sword into the flooring, kicking up shards of wood as her pulled his zanpakto out.

I shielded my eyes out of instinct, and I almost immediately regretted it.

"I see an opening" he used the opportunity to take a stab at me. I jumped up, meaning to get above the short zanpakto but such efforts failed as I felt my sock as well as my foot fall victim to the sharp blade.

I stepped down harder on the sword, pinning the blade to the ground for a short moment, I used the opportunity to swing Hyourinmaru, and I could feel the satisfaction as my blade cut some of his hair.

I took another swing, but Gin had already pried his zanpakto away and had gotten away.

I leapt into the air.

"Souten ni zase! Hyourinmaru!" I felt the cool presence of my zanpakto fill the air water rolling and freezing to form a dragon. Hyourinmaru let out a roar, so powerful and loud, louder then I could ever be.

His body curled in the air around me, slightly protective as always, yet ready to strike as clouds gathered black and purple against the formally deep blue sky.

I had always seen thunder clouds as bruised versions of normal clouds. The broken capillaries filling the normally white puffs with breaking down hemoglobin. I'd seen rain as the clouds crying over their wounds.

Crying like she had been. Like they had both been. Hinata, Hinamori. Two girls-no, women, that had bled and cried on account of this man. And I hated him for it.

I hated him for making them cry.

"_I…I…I" _

"_I don't know what to do anymore… Shiro-chan_"

"_You taste like tears today. Why were you crying?" _

"_Nothing"_

I hated him for making them bleed.

"_Just Aizen wasn't enough for you?" _

"_You had to make Hinamori suffer too. Driving her crazy, making her grip her sword until her hands bled" _

"_What happened to your cheek?" _

"_Nata? What's wrong with you! W-why are you shivering? Are you cold? Did something happen?" _

I know that I had few reasons that I could really articulate, but so many that I could not. I pointed Hyourinmaru at him. Silently telling him where to strike.

I ignored Kira's screams of pain and fear. Normally I would have given him time to escape, but now I was deaf to him. All that mattered was that Gin had gotten out of the torrent somehow.

He was standing on the roof, his smile and casual stature diminished. A small frown on his face and his zanpakto drawn and held in a defensive position. Again I sent Hyourinmaru towards him, but he was somehow able to split it in half, completely negating the attack.

But I could see he was putting all of his effort into that task. He was distracted, thoroughly distracted, I threw the chain that sprouted like a tail from the hilt of Hyourinmaru so the creasent blade had a good hold on his arm.

He turned slowly, casual as ever, despite his arm being frozen.

"Ikorosu" _( tell me if this is wrong! I transcribed it from the anime so I MIGHT be wrong, but I don't think I am, thanks to the Japanese I took earlier this year which has made me a bit more familiar with how Japanese sounds)_

"Shinsou"

I felt my eyes widen. I hadn't accounted for that. I fell back the blade only cutting my eyebrow.

"Ya' sure Yo' wan'ta dodge that?" my blood stopped flowing.

'_no' _

"da' girl's gonna die" His words echoed in my head, confirming my worst fears. There was no way for me to get there in time. She was going to die.

I'd never been able to imagine a world without Hinamori, Without my sister, my Bedwetter Momo . It was strange the way I viewed her, almost invincible, I had never imagined Momo not being there.

She was someone I could always count on. The person who had always been there. That would always be there. She was Momo, perpetually happy, invincible, friendly, everything that anyone could ever wish to be.

But now I had to imagine her not being there. She wouldn't be able to laugh, I would never yell at her for calling me Shiro-chan again, just like she had promised not to.  
"Hina-!"

'_Hinamori! Get out of the way!' _ All I saw was a quick flash of strawberry blonde before I heard the clang of blade on blade.

"Matsumoto!" I yelled, hoping that too much relief hadn't made it through to my voice.

"I'm sorry Taicho"

'_What for?" _

"I went back to the squad building as you ordered, but I sensed Hyourinmaru's reiatsu and had to come back"

"Withdrawn your sword, Ichimaru Taicho!"

"Or I will be your opponent from now on" I could hear her voice shake slightly. He chuckled softly, withdrawing his sword, beginning to walk away.

"Stop Ichimaru!" he didn't even look back.

"Instead 'o chasin' afta' me" he looked back. His smile in place.

"Ya' should see ta' yo' lil' friend" and with that he disappeared.

And I did see to Hinamori. I put her in my squads medical unit and left as quickly as I could. I couldn't take it. Seeing her like that. hooked up to an IV, bandages wrapped around her arm.

I'd never seen her injured in such a way before. And I wasn't eager to ever see it again. She looked so fragile. She wasn't the girl- No I corrected myself woman, I knew her to be. Momo didn't cry like that. She was never confused like that. She just wasn't like that!

I ran to the roof. The tiles had lost most of the warmth from the daytime sun, they were cool beneath me. I shivered despite myself. I tried to take slow breaths, trying vainly to calm my fast beating heart and painful chest.

"A-are you c-cold? I could give you the o-outer part of my u-uniform if you need it" She spoke slowly. her hand shook slightly on my shoulder. Only now did I realize how much my reiatsu must be hurting her.

I looked at her. She was shaking slightly, I could see her teeth bighting into her lips lightly. Her hands were pale but the veins were visable as splotchy patches of red and blue. Ice was beginning to form on her eyelashes.

But all I could do was blink.

"_Hina-!" _Hinata, Hinamori. So alike-

"Toushiro?" her voice is tentative. Even fearful as she approaches me. sitting ever so slowly next to me, her knees shaking all the while.

"D-did something happen?" her fingertips are freezing against me. I make a conscious effort to lower my reiatsu. I nodded, my eyes burning slightly, I told her of the events of that night. Everything that I had been thinking, what had been said.

That Hinamori had gotten hurt. I couldn't miss the unmistakable blitz of pain and concern that was painted plainly on her face. She held me close, holding my head to her.

"Why?" I muttered. My eyes burned. Hinata stroked my hair. The silver stands parting for her driftwood fingertips.

"I'm not a mind reader Toushiro. Why what?"

"Why… why did she believe whoever forged that letter over me?"She stops stroking my hair. She lifts my head so I'm looking her straight in the eyes. A palm rests on each of my cheeks.

"Toushiro" her eyes sing with hurt. Wisdom burning in pain, drowning in the fraitality of her heart. Drowning in her tears.

"Why… why did she believe whoever forged that letter over me? I've always been there haven't I? haven't I always been the one to tell her it's okay?" my voice is raised much louder then I was honestly comfortable with. I had a shaking grip on her shoulders.

"I-I'm confused" and with that I sob. Like I did when I had to leave Obaa-chan that day. I was scared. Confused. I look to her. My moon, my lily, my angel, my own guiding light. She held me close. Soft comforts whispering around my ears.

"Nata" I whisper so soft.

"I think Momo hates me" that is enough to make my blood run cold. Never have I ever thought of the possibility of her hating me. Being annoyed with me sure. But never hate.

"She doesn't hate you. You're more important to her then you even know"

"Then why am I too weak to protect her?"

"You aren't weak. You're the strongest person I've ever known Toushiro" I lean close to her. I'm so tired.

But I'm not allowed to slow down. I am not allowed to weaken. I'm a taicho, I have to take care of my squad, and of my duties. I don't have time to be lost in my emotions. I have to be strong. For everyone.

"Toushiro, what happened to your foot?"

"My foot?" only now do I notice that my sock and sandal are soaked in blood. She immediately strips off my sandal as well as the torn and bloody material of the tabi sock. She presses her hand against the wound. Her hands glow green with healing kido. I can feel the wound close quickly. I blink. She strips off her own sandal and sock.

"It might be a bit small " is the only thing she says. And she's right. it is small on my foot, so it squishes my toes together slightly. It's still warm from her body.

"Hi… Nata" I muttered

"What about you? Isn't someone going to ask-"

"Don't worry. I'll just go home barefoot tonight" she wiggled her toes to emphasize her point, her deep blue painted toe nails glinting in the moonlight.

"Barefoot? But what if-"

"Nothing's going to happen to me"

"_Nothing's going to happen to me Shiro-chan! You're being a little worry wart!" _

"_I'm not being a worry wart! You're going to fall and hurt yourself you bakka bed wetter!"_

Sure enough she fell and hurt herself. I supported her all the way home. She smiled her soft smile. Her farewell smile..

"Be here tomorrow" she nods,

"I will" her conviction is made of something stronger than steel. Stronger then the strongest thing I knew. Her figure flutters away. Her shunpo carrying her away.

Her sock is still warm around my foot.

_**Hope you enjoyed! Yeah, I painted Hinata's toe nails blue. I couldn't resist it! **_

_**Okay. I'm not able to feature the people who showed their love this chapter because I lost all of the names. I keep everyone who has reviewed/alerted/favorited since like chapter 8. And I just accidently deleted the email draft that had all of the names. GODDAMN IT!!! * Glares at the computer* **_


	25. Bankai And The Threads Of Betrayal

_**Hey guys! First off I have to thank everyone for their advice as regarding to my last authors note. I can't say in words how grateful I am to you all. Because let's face it, I just don't function without writing for you all. Without you all I'm a stressed out pile of nerves. How many ways can I say it? me – you guys= complete insanity on my part. **_

_**Um. Sorry about how late this is. I had wiriters block for this. Like majorly. I was writing other stuff though! I have both a Ishida Hinata as well as a Hitsugaya Hinata story out so if you want to you can read those!**_

_**That and I was working on my exit project. ( I need this to graduate people. DO NOT MESS) so basically I'm looking at wether natural or artificial pigments are more visable to the human eye. Which means I have to make some "all natural paint" so now I'm researching how to make paint from vegetables. **_

_**That and my specialized high school results came back….. It was so sad. **_

_**I didn't get in to any of the specialized high schools I applied to ( which was all eight….. pathetic isn't it?) nor did I get into La Gaurdia. They handed out the letters in homeroom and half of us were crying ( I'm in this half) and then the other half didn't care. **_

_**The main reason I was pissed was that I worked so hard and sacrificed so much so I could study and work on my singing, and my drawing just so I could get into these schools, plus, if you got into a specialized or La Gaurdia you got to know where you got into for your main choice list. So it was a huge disappointment. **_

_**Jack ( my crush) was crying to, because he really wanted to go to la gaurdia, and he really thought that he could get in. I felt so bad, especially because if he doesn't get into Murrow (I'm hoping to go here too) he's screwed. So basically I hugged him, and felt really fuzzy inside because I'm a hormonal teen. **_

_**But god, it took so much to cheer me up. So me and four friends had a huge pity party, meaning we made cookies and brownies and ate until we felt sick. ( still felt sick the next day)**_

_**Lovely isn't it?**_

_**ALSO I have a new HitsuHinata project. My goal is to write 26 Hitsugaya Hinata one shots, each one shot for each letter of the alphabet. I invite anyone else who writes to join me in the crusade for Hitsugaya Hinata. **_

_**I've already posted the first one. It's called Apathy. Now don't let the title get you confused, it's not an angst story at all. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Naruto. **_

_**But anyways cherabellums, it's time for the story**_

_**Oh and the speech of hell butterflies are like **__"this"_

_**OH! And before I forget this belated chapter is dedicated to xxHinaAngelxx for coming back from the dead! **___

**Hitsugaya's point of view. **

I visited Hinamori with Matsumoto again the morning after having talked with Hinata, I couldn't have really asked for a more understanding and calming person. The way she had held me. It was… it was… something I'd never felt before.

Even though I had been sobbing, I had felt so safe. So warm and protected.

"Matsumoto, if you hadn't come Hinamori would be dead"

"Thank you"

"Not at all" she was unusually somber.

'_but how much of that letter was true?' _

' _the part about the sokyoku, and using it to destroy the soul society. Was that true?' _

'_if that's the case, then I-' _

"A hell butterfly?" Matsumoto mumbled.

"_Attention all taichos and fukitaichos" _

"_A final change has been made in the excecution date of Kuchiki Rukia" _

"_Kuchiki Rukia's excecution will be carried out twenty nine hours from now"_

"_This is the final dicission, there will be no further changes" _

"_That is all" _

'_No! Of course, Ichimaru found a way that he could put his plan into action!' I stormed down the halls. _

'_I guess it's your turn to forgive me for doing something stupid having to do with this execution Hinata' _

"Taicho!"

"Follow me Matsumoto"

"We're going to stop the execution"

We ran out of the medical unit, I had to see the central forty six, I had to tell them of this plot. Of what I had seen. Of what had happened. I felt my eyes widen as the sokyoku hill brightened with almost blinding blue energy.

"It's started" I muttered

"Let's go!"

I was almost hyper sensitive to the sounds that my feet made, I felt on edge, like I was doing something wrong, like I was breaking the law by trying to do this.

The doors as I had suspected, were locked, and blocked by a fence of swords. But I felt no reiatsu, even as I let my reiatsu probe deep within the underground.

I felt my eyes narrow. I pulled out Hyourinmaru and slashed though the gates, a couple tense moments, but the alarm still had not rung. It should have rung from the moment my zanpakto had touched the door.

I stepped in, running down the many sets of stairs and opening all of the suspiciously unlocked doors that lead to the meeting room. But I stopped dead in my tracks as I came to the meeting room. A gasp escaped from my lips as well as Matsumoto's

"W-what is this!"

"What's going on!" Everyone had been murdered. Every single one was covered in blood and each one was not breathing, not a single pulse of reiatsu came from anyone in that room excluding me and Matsumoto .  
we walked slowly down the stairs, as if afraid the vengeful ghosts of the central forty six were going to rise from the dead and kill us for disturbing them, I touched the blood covered table, but to my surprise it was dry.

"The blood is dry"

"It's black and is beginning to flake apart"

"Which means they weren't killed today or yesterday"

' _when Abarai was beaten and it was announced that we were at war, this room was locked down completely, no one was allowed to even come near here'_

'_and when we forcefully broke in, there was no signs of prior tamperment' _

' _so all the dicissions given to us by the "central fourty six" were fake!' _

'_who did this!' _

' _was it ichimaru? Could he have done all this on his own? Or does he have an accomplice?' _

"I thought you would be here Hitsugaya Taicho" The deep voice of Kira knocked me from my thoughts.

"Kira!"

"You aren't the one who did this are you?!" I yelled at the blonde fukitaicho that had positioned himself at the top of the stairs at the other end of the room. As if to mock me, he slipped out of view.

"Follow him Matsumoto!" We ran through and out of the central forty six over the bridge, and over the rooftops. Our feet made clacking sounds on the tiles, like a pebble being thrown down a mountain.

"Wait Kira!"

"Answer my question!

"Were you the one who did that to the central forty six!"

"No"

"I was let in just before you came by someone on the inside"

"Who were you let in by?"

"It's obvious isn't it? by the central forty six"

"You're lying the seal was-"

"But more importantly Hitsugaya Taicho, instead of chasing after me, shouldn't you be protecting Hinamori-kun?"

"W-what are you saying, Hinamori is"

"Not there"

"She's no longer in the tenth squad barraks"

"You put a barrier around the room she was sleeping in didn't you?" I had. But how did he know all of this?

"You used kyoumon, a high level barrier that protects from outside attacks. "

"That's why you left her behind"

'_that's why you left her behind. I left her protected, I hardly call that-'_

"But that barrier is easy to break from the inside" he said in his perfectly stotic voice, the voice that annoyed me to no end at the moment.

"Hinamori is a kido master"

"It wouldn't be hard for her to break the barrier"

"It also wouldn't be hard for her to put a barrier around herself to cloak her presence while moving"

"Haven't you noticed? Hinamori-kin and been following you the whole time" I had but one thought on my mind

'_crap'_

"Matsumoto!"

"Can I leave this to you?" my voice was grim, pleading for her to be able to do this for me. Just this one time.

"Sure, go ahead" I nodded

'_thank you' _ I ran as if my life depended on it. no, that was a poor use of words. Someone's life did depend on it. Hinamori's life, which for some reason had always been more important then my own.

I didn't love her, at least not romantically. I loved her like a brother should. Because in all ways but blood I was her brother.

We had lived together, we acted like siblings. I always knew which buttons to push to make her annoyed and she always had the exact counter that would make me just as annoyed prepared.

"Hinamori!" I nearly flew through the halls of the central fourty six.

'_please let nothing happen to her! I can't let anything happen to her!' _

A small sound reached my ears, the sound of crying.

'_Hinamori?' _I followed the voice, correction, voices, to the former living quarters of the central fourty six. I could see the door now.

'_no' _ I ran, panting into the room to find myself staring at Ichimaru Gin and…

"Hey, Hitsugaya-kun"

"Aizen!" But how!

'_I decided to write this, Aizen isn't dead.' _ She had been right. I thought that maybe she had made a mistake, but she hadn't.

"What!"

"Are you really Aizen?"

"Of course, as you can see I'm the real thing" he turned to Gin

"Even so, Hitsugaya Taicho has come back much earlier then expected"

"Sumimasen, looks like Kira didn't do his job very well"

"What… what the hell are you talking about!"

"What are we talking about?"

"Just some strategy"

"Division of the enemy forces is the first step of strategy is it not?"

"Enemy!?" I looked around, but I saw no one else there. I couldn't even sense anyone else's reiatsu. Not even Hinamori's

'_Shit! Hinamori!'_

"Where is Hinamori!"

"Well where could she be…" I felt a tiny pinprick of reiatsu dash across my scalp. Hinamori's reiatsu, I could only just barely feel it. I shunpoed past Aizen and Gin. And as I took in the sight behind them, I almost wished I hadn't.

It was Momo. Indestructible, constant, naïve, bed-wetter Momo. That tiny pinprick of reiatsu had blow a disproportionately large hole through my chest.

Shock and pain stabbed through every single pore in my skin, stabbing me through like a million knives. Stabbing me, as if trying to show me what she had felt, what her emotions had said just moments before she had crashed to the floor.

I Could feel traces of Aizen's reiatsu in her blood that was beginning to soak through the bottoms of my sandals. I was no medic, but I could tell that she was fatally wounded and wasn't going to last much longer.

How could I have let this happen to her! I promised myself that I would protect her! I promised that I would sooner die then let her be injured.

"Hina…mori" I muttered.

"Too bad. You found her" Aizen stated in a infuriatingly calm tone, as if he were talking to a child who had found a present before he was supposed to.

"I'm sorry"

'_for what! You've already killed her! There's nothing you can do about that!'_

"I didn't mean to startle you"

' _startle me! You fucking didn't mean to "startle" me! This isn't startling! It's fucking…it's… God damn it!' _

"I suppose I should've ground her into dust so you wouldn't find her"

'_w-what? Ground her into dust? But why? Why would he do this!' _

I felt rage course through me, making my fist clench tightly.

"Aizen, Ichimaru, how long have you two been working together?" my voice was tightly stretched over my emotions, rage and pain and hate all swirling up from the hole finding her had left in my chest.

"Since before you faked your death?" That's how Hinata had gotten that bruise on her cheek. I had sensed tiny traces of Aizen's reiatsu but I had ignored it because I had thought he was dead.

He had done all of this. He had hurt all of those people, manipulated all of the red threads that connected us to one another, he had twisted and broken those bonds, leaving frayed threads that were once a great and beautiful tapestry to regroup and reweave the unraveled rows.

"From the beginning of course"

"Since I became a taicho, I never once considered anyone else but ichimaru as my fukitaicho"

"So, up until now"

"Hinamori"

"Me"

"Your subordinates"

"Every other Shinigami"

"Everyone"

"You've been deceiving us all!?" Now my rage was beginning to find a voice. That voice was loud and irrational, but it was a voice nonetheless, I couldn't deal with all the rage and pain without it over flowing.

"I never intended to deceive" Again, with that infuriating and clam voice, quietly negating any type feeling from being acknowledged.

Now I could see why Hinata hated not being acknowledged above all other things. I could feel all the rage, hate and pain that I had directed towards Aizen crash right back down onto me, turning into self hatred, and self pity.

"It's just… that not one of you comprehended my true nature"

"Didn't comprehend?"

"Hinamori"

"Hinamori looked up to you" I felt sorrow fill my tone, all those wasted years, all that time spent catching up and enduring everything that was thrown at me for her sake, so that I could protect her.

"She joined the Gotei Juusan just to be closer to you"

"She worked herself to death so she could be useful to you"

"And finally became your fukitaicho!"

"I know"

"There is no one so easy to control then someone who admires you"

"That's why I requested to have her as my subordinate"

'_so you wanted to hurt her from the beginning! Her work and time meant nothing to you!?' _

"This is a good opportunity"

"There's something you should remember,Hitsugaya-kun"

"Admiration is the state furthest from understanding" something broke inside of me, the cold, uncaring logical mask fell away completely to show pain and rage and confusion that had always swirled beneath.

I drew Hyourinmaru, taking a microscopic shred of comfort in the way my reiatsu exploded outwards from my bade in a flurry of white snow and pale blue ice.

"Bankai!"

"DaigurenHyourinmaru!"

_**Okay! I know, a crappy place to end it * dodges various knives * but you guys really deserve the update!! **_

_**Thanks for all the reviews and all of the love guys! I'll see you next time!**_

_**OH**_

_**But before you go (hopefully to review) I have an important question to ask. **_

_**What would you guys think of a Hinata Hyourinmaru story? **_

_**Answer that question in your review please! I'm looking for feedback on it so I can do a one-shot or something for it!**_


	26. Cut Threads And Bright Lights

_**Hey guys! Well I hope this comes out earlier then the last chapter… I have to admit, I was being really lazy and mean about updating, I was just being depressive about high schools ( I still don't know where I'm going, where as some people do know) and my life was just being all weird again. **_

_**But anyways, I'm back and I'm hoping to get this out on time since I have a snow day, and hence more time to write!**_

_**Oh my god!!! I just watched the opening ceremony for the Olympics in Vancouver and it was AMAZING!!!! I honestly was moved to tears, I loved it so much! **_

_**Especially because I'm a second generation Canadian immigrant (Meaning my grandmother was born and raised in Canada) So French-Canadian culture is something that is very important in my family, so watching the opening ceremony was great. **_

_**You know that part about northern Canada (that was right after all the nations walked around the stadium) and it talked about Halifax? I have relatives there! That is AWESOME!!!! **_

_**Anyways, I was so hyper and happy about the Olympics. I really love the figure skating and I also LOVE curling. For those of you who don't know what curling is go find out because it's A-FREAKING-MAZING!!! Haha, a sign of Canadian culture in my house, we love ice hockey and curling. Two sports that are very popular in Canada. **_

_**I wonder if I have any Canadian readers. It'd be cool if I did, I'm not sure if I do though. I was looking at my profile stuff and it said that most of my readers are American. **_

_**Oh well.**_

_**Oh yeah, I haven't talked about Valentine's Day yet! Actually I really hate valentines, something bad always happens to me. Here's the breakdown**_

_**First grade: Don't remember**_

_**Second grade: I got rejected in such a way that I didn't live it down for three years**_

_**Third grade: don't remember**_

_**Fourth grade: ran into a pole and knocked my earring out.**_

_**Fifth grade: locked myself inside for the day and refused to do anything. **_

_**Sixth grade: was depressed because the guy I liked at that point didn't say one word to me that day**_

_**Seventh: had stomach cramps and was depressed. **_

_**This year: get yelled at by my mom for an hour straight and was forced to go to a museum. (I hate museums) **_

_**But on a brighter note my friends also left a table in my front yard that they most likely found on the curb, but it's the thought that counts right? It's actually a pretty cool table, it's a low table and right now I'm using It as to put my computer so I don't have to worry about it overheating anymore. **_

_**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO ALL THE ATHLETES AT THE WINTER GAMES, ESPECIALLY THE ONE ATHLETE WHO WAS FATALLY INJURED…**_

_**You are all amazing.**_

_**I wish you the best of luck. **_

_**You all deserve the gold.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach or Naruto**_

**Hinata's point of view**

I ran through the halls of the central forty six, Unohana taicho and Isane-fukitaicho running just behind me, I had taken off my hiate, and had my byakugan at full power, I could clearly see all the winding maze like halls, and I could see Toushiro, as well as Aizen and Gin. Toushiro's reiatsu was unstable.

And worse Momo's was fading even more quickly because of the high amounts of reiatsu in the air; the other energies in the room were eating away at her already small signature.

"Bankai!" His voice echoed in a way I'd never heard before, the sound was distorted and angry, as it filtered through the halls. If Toushiro let his reiatsu go much more it would surely smother Momo-chan's reiatsu!

"Daiguren Hyourinmaru!"

'_No. NO!' _It was at that moment that we burst into the room, and I felt myself become completely crushed by the pure amount of reiatsu in the room. I opened my mouth, hoping my lungs would get the message that I needed air to survive.

"**Focus Gaki-chan. acting like a fish will do us no good" **

'_Focus on what?' _

"**Anything!" **

I gulped, trying to focus on drawing the cold air into my lungs. Neji had always started his meditation with deep breathing, it had always helped him focus.

'_In'_

'_Out' _

'_In' _

'_Out' _I felt my thoughts calm, and the pressure on my chest recede.

"Aizen"

"I'm going to kill you" his voice is like it was that night after Aizen had slapped me. When he had told me not to say that I was fine, that voice that was so dangerous and full of rage. The voice that scared me.

"Don't use such strong words, it will only make you seem weak. " Aizen's smile was utterly disturbing. So confident, completely unmoved by the ice and reiatsu that had taken up residence all around him.

A scream of rage tore from Toushiro's throat, I almost screamed out, but then I remembered.

'_I'm not supposed to love him. I will never be allowed to scream out for him' _and so I bit the inside of my lip until I tasted the sweetness of my own flesh to keep myself silent

Hyourinmaru stabbed ruthlessly through Aizen's chest. But I could see with my byakugan that it was just the same as the corpse doll that I had inspected. It had no system of transferring reiatsu. It was just a mass.

I looked frantically around, trying to find where the real Aizen was, but to my own horror all I could see was a vague impression of where he was. A shimmering veil almost. I squeezed my eyes shut.

'_No! No! Please Toushiro! Sense him in time! Please!' _

I opened my eyes, and honestly.

I wished to be blind.

I had always wished that I could've been born without the byakugan. But never had I wished myself blind. I nearly vomited at the sight before me; it was like Rin all over again. Except this time it was worse.

That ripping and tearing pain was even worse. Was that even possible? I wanted to cry, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't run to him. I couldn't try to heal him. I couldn't do anything! I…I…I…I was just getting in the way again.

I could almost feel sticky crimson splattering over my form again, I felt useless and weak, like I was once again an academy student with no power whatsoever. I could almost touch the deep draining blank turquoise.

"What a sight" Aizen tilted his head towards the cellling, as if admiring the falling crystals of ice.

"It's the wrong season, but I rather like seeing ice at this time of year"

"Well, shall we go Gin?" he motioned to Ichimaru.

"I thought You'd be here Aizen-Taicho" Unohana-Taicho stated calmly

"no, I should no longer call you 'Taicho'"

"Your Just Aizen Souske, a traitor" her calm soothing voice carried an edge of bighting steel.

"Hello, Unohana Taicho"

"It's about time you showed up"

"Did it take you this long to figure out where I was?" his voice is amused, as if he couldn't believe that we had found him.

"The Seijoto Kyorin is the only area in the seireitei that is completely off limits to all shinigami"

"It's the perfect place for someone who did something like fake his own death, and even construct an elaborate corpse doll as to hide himself"

"Almost, but you made two mistakes"

"First I didn't come here to hide"

"and second" he paused slightly.

"This isn't a doll" a sadistic smile crossed his face as he took in Unohana and Isane's confused expressions at the sight of him holding the doll that we had inspected.

"W-when did he?" Isane muttered.

"When?" he questioned jokingly.

"I had it in my hand the entire time"  
"but I didn't allow you to see it until now"

"W-what?"

"You'll understand soon enough, "

"Shatter, Kyoka Suigetsu" the doll shattered into a thousand refections that diffused into particles that were invisible to even my byakugan.

"my zanpakto, Kyoka Suigetsu's ability is"

"Kanzen saimin _(perfect hypnosis)_"

"B-but your zanpakto is a flowing water type" Isane protested weakly, desperately almost.

"It uses reflections of fog an water to confuse it's enemies into attacking each other"

"That's what you told us!" she yelled, the note of desperation in her voice getting stronger and stronger.

"You brought all of the fukitaicho's together to demonstrate it to us!"

"So" Unohana broke in with a icy and deceiving voice.

"That's when you hypnotized everyone"

"Correct"

"Kazen Saimin, disrupts the senses so the victim misidentifies the enemy, appearance, shape, texture,size, even smell are affected"

"In other words, I can make a fly appear to be a dragon, and a swap appear to be a flower bed"

"It's activated when the victim see's the released Kyoka Suigetsu"

"Having seen it even once, they are under it's power"

"And each subsequent time I release Kyoka Suigetsu"

"They are under the hyponosis"

"Seen…once"

"Now do you understand?"

"Kaname Tousen has been my comrade from the beginning" a roll of bandages flew from Ichimaru's sleeve.

'_transportation kido? If I can trace the reiatsu I will be able to tell where they're going!'_ I felt my head pound as I poured even more reiatsu into my byakugan. I followed the iridescent strand of reiatsu, running along a curving path up stairs and rock to a destroyed execution stand.

"Sokyoku" I whispered.

"No!" I drew Tako Hasu, I wasn't even sure what I was doing, if I could even do anything. But I had to save Rukia, I had to! I cut through the bandages with one swipe, exposing Gin and Aizen, and effectively cutting the reiatsu strand that led to the Sokyoku.

"Yo; really shouldn't ta' done that" Ichimaru chuckled, that was the last thing I heard before a bright light enveloped my senses.

I think I screamed.

_**HAH! How'd ya like that! yeah… I've strayed completely from the cannon, and my original plan. I need to change the summary now. **_

_**People who have shown their love**_

_**review:**__**Ignisha, AmethystEntity,OBSERVER01,AnimeMixDJ,xxHinaAngelxx,**_

_**Alert: .77,DragonSlayer0304,Marcella153,Aiyobi Uzamaki, Kamish88,nannals,sabakunoazii,ArrancarMaiden,AmethystEntity,Taeniaea (story and author, thanks a bunch!) Hyorinmaru Kenchi ,Assatte, DoubtReality, Namikaze naruko14**_

_**.77,DragonSlayer0304,ArrancarMaiden,GakuenAngel12,sasuhinafan121,crystaldiemond12(story and author thanks so much!) ,DoubtReality,chivini,Kyuuketsuki23,Hyorinmaru Kenchi( as an author! It means a lot to me! thanks!), silver eyeshine ,ladyamaterasu1412,XxBreakingxxPointxX,silvermoonwings,ahnbuerste, Namikaze naruko14**_

_**THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING REVIEWING ALERTING, AND FAVORITING EVERYONE!**_

_**IT MEANS THE WORLD DARLINGS!**_


	27. Questions And What You Don't Know

_**Hey everybody! Well, I have to say, last chapter was much shorter then I thought it would be! I truly didn't mean to make it so short, so I'm going to try and make it up right here!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't won Bleach or Naruto**_

_**Hinata's point of view**_

_I shivered at the coldness that seemed to wrap itself around me. I could feel snow and ice press against my chest, and the wind, which was just as icy blow my hair in all directions.I groaned, my numbed hand finding it's way to my temple where I was surprised to feel half sticky, half crusted over blood beneath fingertips that were only half aware of the world around them.I pushed myself up to a sitting position. Trembling as I did so, I took a deep breath of lung numbing air. I blinked; I was not in soul society that was for sure. It was snowing; something that could not happen in the hot summer that currently inhabited the Seireitei._

"_Where am I?" I breathed. My words forming steam in front of my face before the drifted away into the pale blue sky. _

"_You are in the inner world of the one closest to you" A deep, rumbling roaring voice echoed through the plain of ice. I turned, hoping to find the source of the voice, but to no avail. _

"_I am right here" I turned again. Only to find myself face to face with a giant dragon of ice. I felt myself freeze into place, both mentally and physically. _

"_Do not be afraid of me child" He stated in a tone that I assumed was supposed to be soothing. I nodded, though I wasn't quite at ease, something about the dragon, perhaps the protective coil of it's tail, or the soft look in it's crimson eyes, something conveyed the fact that the giant beast meant me no harm. _

"_Look around you"_

" _This world is crumbling, it is because Toushiro is dying" _

"_If his wounds are not taken care of soon, we will certainly meet our ends" it was true, as I took a closer look at the magnificent landscape around me I could see the sky beginning to flake away and the ground beginning to crack. _

_I felt fear pulse through me. What if Toushiro did die! W-what if he died just like Rin, and I only had myself to blame? _

"_I-is there something I can do? Y-You wouldn't summon me here if it was hopeless right?" I felt my hand freeze as I gripped onto his scales. _

"_It is not hopeless. You can save him" His voice seemed pensive, sad almost, and his wings folded around us, as if they couldn't bear the weight of his next sentence. _

"_But it will require sacrifice" he finished, a regretful look casting over his eyes. _

"_Please! Tell me what I have to do! I-I'll do anything!" I begged the dragon, hoping against hope that what I could give would be enough to save the man that I loved. Hoping that I would be good enough to keep him from dying. _

"_If you are truly willing, then I suppose I shouldn't keep it from you" _

"_If you can bear some of his burden, then he will survive" I felt confusion rise, what burden did he have that I could help him carry?_

"_I mean his wound. If you take on some of his wound, then he will survive" _

"_But it will be painful, and there is a risk that you will die in his place." _

"_Are you willing to do this child?" _

"_Hai, I'll do anything to save him, even if it means my life," I stated somberly. Shaking from the coldness that was bighting into my very hear. _

"_Very well… if you are truly willing…" _

"_Then I suppose I have no choice" I felt a white hot flash of pain tear through my shoulder. I think I wanted to scream, but I heard no noise come forth from my lips. _

"_Suimimasen" Two voices now instead of one. One echoing and pounding like thunder, the other smaller and more childish in comparison. I wanted to respond to them, I really did, but I couldn't for some reason. My voice wasn't working. _

I opened my eyes again, and found that Toushiro's world, as well as the dragon was gone. I groaned again, not only did my head hurt, but also now my shoulder was throbbing with a distinct, painful pulse. My face was pressed against dirt that only had a dusting of snow and frost, but the air seemed warm, humid even.

"My my, look what we have here" A male voice called out behind me. The voice dripped with ill intentions, like the dragon's voice had dripped with the notion that he had meant me no harm.

I scrambled to my feet, pulling Tako Hasu from her sheathe. The man chuckled,

"You think you can beat me with that little dagger?" I nodded, blinking to clear my vision. I Looked him over, he couldn't be much more then a chunin, judging by his chakra signature- wait… chakra! I was… home? I looked at his Hiate.

'_Damn. He's not a Konoha nin, but I don't recognize the symbol though' _

"Look girly, I really don't wanna fight 'ya much. So how's about we strike a deal, huh?"

"Would you please bring out, our ah.. Bargaining token?" Another man came from the bushes, Toushiro slung carelessly over his back.

"Toushiro!" The first man smiled a gap toothed smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry, he your boyfriend? We took the.. Ah, liberty of taking him while you were sleeping'"

"Give him back!" His smile grew even wider.

"Oh, we will it's just we need some… payment first" He let out a scratchy chuckle.

"P-payment? W-what type of payment? I haven't any money!" He chuckled again, stroking his beard.

"What a stupid child you are, you think I want money from a beauty like you?" I felt my eyes widen.

'_Crap. He wants __that__ type of payment'_

"No way in hell!" I gripped Tako Hasu; I didn't have the strength to defeat them, at least not with Tako Hasu. I had only one useful arm, and dwindling reiatsu. I put her away.

"Oh I see! You're little boyfriend here hasn't used you in that way yet"

"His loss"

'_Shit!' _

"Oh ye Lord, mask of flesh and blood," I began the incantation, hoping that I could finish the verse in time.

"All creations of the universe, fluttering of the wings" a tiny ball of red fire formed in my palm I poured as much as I could into it, urging the little fire ball to grow.

"Ye who bears the name of man!"

"Scorching heat and disorder evolve the transposition of the southern sea barrier."

"Haddo no sanjuuichi! Shakkaho!" The red ball of fire flew from my hand hitting the man in the chest. I shunpoed towards the other man, attempting grabbing Toushiro from him.

The other man sneered, throwing Toushiro into a tree before twisting my injured arm behind me. I gasped out at the pain and I could feel the blood beginning to soak through my uniform.

"Hinata!" I smiled despite myself, at the sound of Toushiro's voice. The knock against the tree had woken him instead of rendering him unconscious like I had thought it would.

"Toushiro" I whispered.

"Hado no ichi sho!" I used my other hand to push the man away from me. I gritted my teeth against the swift pain in my arm as he tried to hold on. I gripped my shoulder, stumbling towards Toushiro.

"Hinata, what happened?" I looked to the ground, though I knew he was looking at my shoulder. I suddenly felt guilty. Not only was he still injured, but also I had made a nuisance of myself.

"S-suimimasen. I-I don't know"

"Whatever, let's just-"

"What the hell kind of shinobi are you! Attacking two kids!" a man with long spiky white hair jumped from the bushes. Yelling at the two unconscious men.

"N-nani" I whispered.

"Don't worry he's an ally" Toushiro muttered under his breath.

"We should take care of our wounds for now" I nodded

"Hai" I took off Tako Hasu as well as the sash that held her in place. I made sure to do so gingerly, as to not alert Toushiro that I was wounded. I gulped; I could feel my blood snaking down my arm.

"A-ano, T-Toushiro C-could I see your wound so I could bandage it?" I didn't know why my voice was so soft. I had to take deep breaths to keep my world clear.

"A-ah" I took off Hyourinmaru, undoing the cloth around him.

"I don't mind" Toushiro said before I had even asked. I nodded; I pushed his sleeve out of the way before wrapping the cloth around the wound. I nearly cursed at myself as I fumbled with the knot. He placed his other hand over mine.

"Hinata, you're bleeding" I nodded what use was it to lie? I could feel the blood fluttering over my hand.

"Bakka" he whispered. Finishing the knot for me.

"You have to take care of yourself too," he muttered. He had somehow managed to pull my kimono shirt in such a way that the collar had fallen off my shoulder.

I felt a blush cover my face as he wrapped the sash I used to hold Tako Hasu around the junction of my shoulder and my chest. He too was blushing, and looking stubbornly away from me. He gingerly pulled my kimono back into place.

"S-sorry" he mumbled, his cheeks still pink.

"I-i-it's fine" I muttered my index fingers dancing around one another.

"What brings you to the Shinobi Continents Hitsugaya-san?" The man with long white hair broke through our embarrassment.

"I honestly don't have a clue myself Jiraiya-san"

"And who's the pretty lady?" He nudged me, and gave me a quiet look that said for me to take over.

"I-I'm Hinata" I stated quietly the white haired man; Jiraiya apparently gave a big smile. An almost paternal smile.

"So you have yourself a shy one huh Hitsugaya-san" I felt myself blush at the comment, burying my face into Toushiro's back out of instinct. I think that was when I fainted. From blood loss or embarrassment I don't know

I can almost hear his voice.

**Hitsugaya's point of view**

"Hinata!" I caught her before she hit the ground.

"She fainted?" I muttered, supporting her against my chest. It was strange to think that she had saved me from certain death that she had taken on part of my wound so that I would survive. Undaunted by the risk of her own life being taken in the process. I sighed and shook my head.

"Why don't you come back to my camp? You and your friend can rest there" I nodded.

"Arigato Jiraiya-san" I lifted Hinata as well as I could with my one useful arm. I tucked Hyourinmaru and Tako Hasu into my waistband, though I could almost feel Tako Hasu's discomfort from being held by someone other than perhaps that is my own discomfort because I was in a place that wasn't familiar to me. Not completely alien. But still unfamiliar.

"Would you like me to-"?

"No" I cut him off. I didn't want him to carry her. I owed her this much. I had to watch over her, I had to help her like she had me.

"You're stubborn, carrying her even though you're hurt" I let out an tsking sound.

"Of course I'm going to carry her. She got hurt protecting me, it's the least I can do"

"Honor bound as always, but perhaps you feel something beyond honor for her?"

"Stop speaking in riddles"

"You love her" I looked away. I did love her; I loved every little thing about her, the midnight shade of her hair, the soft pink scar that I hadn't prevented. Her laughter, her frowns. Everything about her. All I could do was sigh. I felt him clap me on the back.

"You've chosen a cutie!" he gave a thumbs up; I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Don't talk about her like that! She's a human, not a piece of food you lecherous fool!"

"Oh, touchy are we?" I felt my eyebrow twitch.

"You're pushing it toad"

"Oh? And just what am I pushing Hitsugaya-san?" he was just like Ukitake sometimes.

Ukitake… how were we going to get back? And Hinamori. What had happened to her! Had she died? Or hand Hinata saved her as well?

"You're pushing my sanity," I muttered as we neared the campsite. I set Hinata down and folded my Taicho's haori and slipped it under her head like a looked so peaceful, with her hair fanning out like a halo all around her, a soft frown curving like a flower petal, her quiet closed eyelids spoke of peace

But there was blood just under her eyes, and blood made paths up and down the various curves of her hands. And the lavender of her impromptu bandage peeked through her uniform. Her scars and bandages spoke of war, I sighed, laying myself next to her, I let my tiredness take over me. I let my wound sap away my consciousness and the soft sounds of winter echo around in I could not sleep. I could only wonder what had become of the soul society. What had Aizen done to everyone? Had Hinamori survived? I had no doubts that Matsumoto had defeated Kira, but what had become of the rest of the soul society? Had Aizen destroyed them all? I sat up. I obviously wasn't going to be getting any type of rest.

"What's troubling you Toushiro-san?"

"Since when were we on first name basis?" I snapped.

"You call me Jiraiya" he stated calmly.

"Only because you never bothered to tell me your last name"

"True, true, but tell me what has happened Toushiro-san" I sighed, running my hand through my hair in a vain attempt to keep it out of my eyes.

"Aizen and Gin betrayed us. They nearly killed Hinamori as well as myself and are planning to destroy the soul society" his eyes widened.

"Are you being serious Hitsugaya-san?" I nodded.

"I wish I wasn't"

"Tousen" I looked behind me, Hinata had risen from her apparent slumber and was beginning to make her way towards us. She sat next to me.

"Tousen was working with them too," she muttered.

"How're you feeling kid?" she glanced over at Jiraiya a blush on her face.

"O-oh, I-I'm feeling…better"

"Well that's good! I don't think we've been formally introduced, I'm Jiraiya" her index fingers traveled in circles around each other.

"H-Hyuuga Hinata" she bowed her head quickly, but in that single moment she missed the mix of confusion and understanding on his face.

"Now where were we-" he was cut off by a crash. His expression folded into something of a grimace. But, a somehow joking grimace. Like it was only just disguising a smile.

"Oi! Naruto that better not be you!" Hinata sat straight up when she heard that name. Shock and a strange underlying fear were written across her features.

"That's mean of you Ero-sennin! I spent all day training and this is how you greet your protégé!" A somewhat familiar voice yelled out.

"Ero…Sennin?" I mumbled.

'_So someone else has noticed what a huge pervert he is?' _

"I'd hardly call you a protégé!" Hinata's fingers raced around one another, and she looked desperately to me. Nervousness broadcasted in neon across her every movement.

A boy with blonde hair blue eyes and marks on his cheeks that could only be approximated to be whiskers, he had a fox like quality to him that fox like quality that made my blood boil without warning.

A confused look filtered over the blonde's face as he caught sight of Hinata and me. He tilted his head slightly and his eyes closed into 'U' shapes.

"Eh? Who are the kids Ero-Sennin?"

"If you actually looked at them maybe you'd be able to identify them!" the boy cracked one eye open. They were the same color as Hinata's ice. A deep cerulean.

He looked from me to Hinata, then back to Hinata's bowed head. He blinked.

"H-Hi-Hinata-chan?" he rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the tears that had begun to show. Hinata's one useful hand clenched over her hakama pants. Her other hand twitched slightly from it's position in the dirt. She averted her eyes that were also filled with tears.

'_Who is this kid? And what is he to Hinata?' _

"**Do you truly not remember, Toushiro?" **

_A kid with blonde hair and blue eyes comes up to the coffin. His eyes are hollow. His words remorseful and apologetic. He leans down and kisses her dead lips. Like that will bring her back, like a fairytale. But it strangely sends an intense wave of something akin to fury running through my veins. Jealousy? That he'd touched her lips? His headband fell into the coffin_

_'What was this? Why does she do this to me! ' More jealousy hit me as she hugged him_

'_He's that kid!' _

'_The one she hugged that day' I_ could almost taste the bile of jealously in my mouth.

'_The one she had feelings for'_ the jealously spread through my veins, burning hot with hatred for the bond between them.

" **I wouldn't worry about that Toushiro. Whatever feelings she held for him have disappeared." ** I tried to take comfort in his words, but it was unusually hard.

"Are you really Hinata-chan?" he knelt down in front of her, tilting his head and upper body comically to the side in an attempt to see her eyes.

"Cause Hinata-chan had the prettiest eyes, but since I can't see your eye's I can't sure that you're the same Hinata-chan" she opened her eyes in response to the hidden request.

"So you _are_ Hinata-chan!" Her lip trembled; the look of guilt in her eyes was almost unbearable.

"Am I?" she whispered.

"Course you are!" He smiled putting a hand under her chin, forcing her head up.

"You're Hinata-chan, you point your index fingers together, you blush a lot, and you have the same eyes"

"And you have a little sister named Hanabi, and a brother named Neji, and you used to live in Konoha with me and the rest of the rookie nine"

"You were a genin"

"You like Senzai (1) and cinnamon rolls and you don't like crab"

"You are the warmest person, you always brought out the best in people, and you made everyone smile" she placed a hand over his mouth. She shook her head sadly.

"That isn't me anymore"

"I'm not a genin anymore, I don't live in Konoha anymore"

"I'm a third seat officer in squad two of the gotei juusantai and I live in the Seireitei, though I originally hail from Jurinan, the first western district of the Rukongai"

"I haven't eaten cinnamon rolls in over two years, and I don't eat senzai much anymore either"

"I don't smile in public, and I don't point my index fingers together in public either only five people in the entire Seireitei know what my eyes look like"

"I'm not a warm person, everyone calls me the Ice Princess"

"But-"

"But what Naruto-kun" her voice is unexpectedly harsh as she got up and ran from the campsite. Naruto began to follow but I stuck out my foot to trip him.

"What was that for brat!" I rolled my eyes.

"First off, I'm much older then you, so unless you want to freeze you're going to call me Hitsugaya"

"And second don't bother going after her because you won't be able to keep up"

"Why do you say that? I'll go after her if I want to!"

"I'm saying you won't be able to keep up with her, Hinata left one thing out, she's one of the fastest runners in the Seireitei, you won't be able to keep up with her" his only reply was jumping up into trees and heading in the same direction Hinata had.

"That idiot" Jiraiya mumbled. Scratching his head.

"He's only fanning the flames" I nodded, I looked down, my eyes weighed down by heavy feelings, the feeling of the mere possibility of loosing Nata to the love of her past.

"Don't worry, whatever feelings she may have held for Naruto"

"You've erased them" I snorted weakly.

"I'm terrible with emotions, you know that" I suppose that before I had met Hinata on that faithful day almost two years ago I had been in love with Momo. Though I had never actually admitted it to in all of those years of loving her, all those years spent training for the sole purpose of catching up to her, of surpassing her, just to get her to look in my direction, I had never been able to erase her feelings for Aizen. I hadn't been able to wipe away the admiration that had clouded her judgment when all that she loved had "died"

"Was I going to tell you the rest of the situation?" He nodded. I almost wondered if he had a reason to care about the soul society. But I dismissed the thought. I just needed to get away from my emotions.

"You were"

" As I was saying, Aizen, Gin and Tousen, three taicho class officers betrayed us"

"Aizen hid himself by faking his own death, and then hiding in the Seijoto Kyorin, the only area in all of Seireitei that is completely off limits to all shinigami" I left out the part about the forged letter, about my confusion as to how much was true. But knowing what I now knew, The letter had to be a lie, a lie that would throw the sou-Taicho off of his trail. But why had he chosen me as his decoy? Because of my connection to Momo? or maybe because he felt that my feelings for my childhood friend could be twisted into a murder motive.

"They murdered the entire central forty six, our highest judicial body" I recited the tale, the scent of blood invading my nose all over again. Sweet and metallic.

"Besides injuring me, Aizen also impaled his fukitaicho Hinamori Momo on his zanpakto"

"I'm not sure she survived"

"Jeez, You guys are in one hell of a mess aren't you" I nodded, we were in a mess, there wasn't any denying it; I'd never really been much for self-delusion anyways.

Four taicho's out of thirteen were missing. And one fukitaicho as well, that is if Abarai managed to recover, and if Aizen didn't decide to kill anyone else. And if Kira hadn't defected so he could follow his taicho.

So many unknowns. Would I ever see Momo again? Matsumoto? Obaasan? Would I ever see Ukitake or Kyoraku, or any of the other taicho's for that matter? Hell, would I ever see the Soul Society in general ever again?

I hated questions. I hated them with a passion that I generally reserved for well… I nearly chuckled aloud. I didn't hate anything else more then questions.

They were things that I didn't know, that could hurt me the next chance that they got. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you was a damn fool. I had been torn apart in both flesh and soul by what I hadn't knownWhat I hadn't know had ripped open my shoulder and chest; what I hadn't known may have killed Momo. What I hadn't known had plunged a sword through her, what I hadn't known had left her sprawled in a pool of her own blood. Her life staining the ground.

"I don't get women at all Ero-sennin" Naruto stumbled into the campsite, a huge red mark on his cheek. I raised a questioning eyebrow, though I could feel Hinata's reiatsu pulsing from the mark.

"She slapped me. Happy now Shorty?" I frowned. It wasn't like Hinata to take out her emotions with physical violence against another person.

"I'm not a sadist, I don't take pleasure from seeing the injuries of others idiot" he only glowered.

"And it's Hitusgaya!" But it was no use, he wasn't listening me anymore, he had already curled up on the soil and fallen asleep.

_**(1) senzai is a type of bean jam and it's one of Hinata's favorite foods**_

_**Yeah…. This is the end of the chapter. I just can't think of anything else to put… I mean. What the hell else can I do? But whatever… either way… I don't have all that much to say. Umm… review? Pretty please? Because I updated quicker then normal? Even though my laptop is infected with a virus and I'm writing this on the family computer? **_

_**Why am I asking so many questions? **_

_**I mean seriously my last four sentences have ended with a question mark… damn I broke the streak.**_

_**Whatever**_

_**Review my dear readers. **_

_**REVIEW OR DIE!!!**_

_**Just kidding. **_

_**I would never kill you :) Or would I?**_

_**Oh shit!**_

_**The question marks! **_

_**They are attacking!!**_

_**RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!**_

_**BUT REVIEW BEFORE YOU DO!**_


	28. Red And Rivers

_**Hey everyone! I'm sorry… I've had writers block for this. And my life just decided to get really really complicated. I don't even know anymore. **_

_**I've been trying to ignore things, and put my relationship with Bakka back together, but as of late it's getting harder. I can't hang out with her without it being with some high-school guys that I just don't feel comfortable around. (They met them while they were out drinking… great way to meet friends. NOT)**__**Not only that I also have always had troubles with hanging out in large groups, because of being in a small pre-k/kindergarden and a small elementary. **__**I'm not popular now nor have I ever been, so the issue never really came up. I even told her that. It's something that I'm only now realizing and accepting about myself.**_

_**I miss her. I really do. I miss the happy go lucky, forgetful, persuasive ,impulsive, somewhat promiscuous, sometimes idiotic girl that I was proud to call my best friend, and my Nee-chan.(though not by blood)**_

_**Sometimes when we're just talking in school she's the way she used to be. Like nothing changed, and I can be happy and optimistic about our friendship then after school it's like she's a completely different person. Someone who doesn't know me, that wants me to grow up, start dating, start hanging out with high-school guys every weekend, be okay with things I'm not okay with.**_

_**I miss winter sleepovers and movie nights and sleeping side by side in one twin size bed, me pressed up against the ice cold window so Bakka wouldn't get cold. (my bed is right up against the window) laughing and telling secrets, and figuring out problems and plotting.**__**But now the person who I could trust with everything, who I could trust to have advice if I wanted it and shoulder to cry on is gone. And it scares me.**_

_**I don't know what I would do without Nim-Nim, Clare-bear, Maya, Katie, Lucy, Rachellie, and Olivia. I honestly don't think I would be able to get through the day without them.**_

_**I love them so much. When I'm feeling sad and depressive they always know how to make me laugh, with strange online personality quizzes (apparently the celebrity I look most like is Ghandi.. yeah. Violent white girl definitely looks like Indian peaceful person..), or with random proposals of marriage.**__**They are people who always let me unload whatever is going on without judging me and always offer advice without me asking, and most of all let me be how I want to be.**__**And you guys are like that too, honestly, you guys are part of what keeps me sane (and not suicidal) through all of this. So thanks for letting me vent, and do forgive me for the terribleness of this update…**_

_**OH! Wait! Before you read on, MY ROOM IS NOW PURPLE!!!!! WOOT!!**_

_**Well, I had some issues with my spell check so due to a hilarious mishap with my spelling this omake was requested.  
WARNING: BEWARE OF KIRA'S ADDICTION TO TACO'S **_

_**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**_

_**Kira: Taco! Please don't leave!**_

_**Taco: I have to.**_

_**Kira: I'll follow you then! I love you taco!**_

_**Taco: You don't love me! you love eating me!**_

_**Taco: *steps through a portal* **_

_**Kira: *runs after the taco***_

_**Kira:TACO!!!!!!**_

**_Taco: Kira I told you not to follow me!!_**

**_Kira: but.... MY JAW IS STRAINED FROM REPEATED MANIACAL SILENT LAUGHTER!!!!! _**

**_*MANICALLY LAUGHTER*_**

**_Kira:HEEEEEEEEEE HOOOOOO HYPERVENTALATION!!! _**

**_*BURP* _**

**_*MANIACAL LAUGHTER* _**

**_Kira:HEEE HOOOOO HHHHEEEEEEE HOOOOOO HYPERVENTALATION!!! _**

**_*BURP* _**

**_*TWITCH* _**

**_Kira:* rolls around on the floor still laughing maniacally) _**

**_Taco: *Sweat drop* _**

**_Taco: Remind me Gin, what the hell did I see in him? _**

**_Gin: Hell if I know, I just like his smile. It's nearly as scary as mine!_**

**_Taco: *sweat drop*_**

**_Taco: where are the hollows?_**

**_Gin: they don't like mexican food. _**

**_Gin: it gives them really bad gas_**

_** Now on to the story!**_

**Hinata's point of view**

"_So you are Hinata-chan!" I felt my lip tremble, guilt filling my eyes. I wasn't her and yet I was, what would Naruto do when he saw the killer that I had become? Would he hate me? _

"_Am I?" I whispered. _

"_Course you are!" He smiled one of his bright and sunny smiles, one of those smiles that reminded me of Rin, that reminded me of Momo. _

"_You're Hinata-chan, you point your index fingers together, you blush a lot, and you have the same eyes" _

"_And you have a little sister named Hanabi, and a brother named Neji, and you used to live in Konoha with me and the rest of the rookie nine" _

'_that's only the past' _

' _I don't even have nine friends' _

"_You were a genin" _

'_I'm a third seat' _

"_You like Senzai (1) and cinnamon rolls and you don't like crab"_

'_I don't eat either' _

"_You are the warmest person, you always brought out the best in people, and you made everyone smile" I placed a hand over his mouth, stopping the stream of past mannerisms that flowed from him. _

"_That isn't me anymore" _

Why couldn't that be me anymore? Why couldn't I be happy and sunny all the time like I used to be? But why was I asking all of this? It was the past, there wasn't anything to be done about it. I wasn't sunny as I had once been, but that didn't mean I had to derail myself, I had to just keep moving.

I panted as I neared a small stream. I blinked blearily, today just wasn't my day, the foundations of the Soul Society had been thoroughly shaken and cracked, Momo was fatally injured, and both me and Toushiro were sporting a wound. And I had left Tako Hasu at the campsite. Just what did kami-sama have against me?

Speaking of swords I needed to clean my wound before it got infected. I kneeled down by the stream. I didn't have and disinfectant, or any proper bandages for that matter, and bacteria did live in streams like this, but it was better then nothing.

I undid the ties that kept my kimono shirt closed, and let the garment slide off of me, I blushed slightly, even though I was sure that no one was watching me, it wasn't like I was naked either.

I still had my pants on as well as the cloth that I wrapped around my chest, Matsumoto always told me that she thought that the practice was stupid and old fashioned, but I still did it. In all honesty, it actually reminded me of a bra. A reminder of my life that I wasn't all that ready to give up.

I took a deep breath, slowly undoing the knot that kept my makeshift bandage in place. I winced not only at the pain, but at the look of the red and angry mark. Around it was hot to the touch and flushed to the eye.

'_shit! my body has started it's inflammatory response (1)' _

'_I have to clean this out before it gets any worse' _I dipped the sash into the river, letting the still wet blood wash out in the current. I wasn't able to get all that much blood off, but not all that much blood had gotten on it anyways,.

I took the sash out of the river, shaking it to get rid of the excess water, my nose wrinkling as some droplets hit my face. I twirled my wrist around so that the sash wrapped around it.

I hissed as I brought the cold wet sash to my wound, but I kept on with my hesitant cleaning. The pain that I endured now would be much better then a swollen wound and a fever.

I touched the wound with my bare finger so I could feel it's temperature it had finally cooled slightly, a sign that I had flushed out the bacteria, but it could also be that my hands were cool because of the water. I smiled, I had gotten it right.

My smile dropped as I heard footsteps coming through the brush. I tried to activate my byakugan, but it caused a swift cord of pain that vibrated through my skull. I bit my lip.

"W-who's there?" I called out hesitantly

"It's just me Hinata-chan!" I felt my cheeks turn bright red, it was Naruto-kun. How could I not have sensed that! I grabbed my kimono top, but I wasn't able to do anything more with it then hold to my chest, before Naruto-kun barged through the bushes.

He didn't seem fazed in the slightest by my apparent lack of a shirt.

"N-N-N-Na-Naruto-kun!" I turned away from him.

"Huh? How'd you get that wound on your shoulder?" I took in a sharp breath. How the hell did I explain that? I could say that it was just a wound that those bandits had given me, but I was a terrible at lying, even when I wasn't half dressed.

"Eh? I-it's nothing that bad, you shouldn't worry over it" I stretched a smile over my face, but I just couldn't get the edges to turn up like they should have.

"That wasn't the question" he went down on one knee, I felt familiar nervousness pulse through me, that heated pounding in my chest that brought so much joy to me when I had lived.

His face was so close to mine. I leaned back, just for the sake of feeling the soft breeze that was blowing and not his breath.

"I thought you didn't want to run away anymore Hinata-chan" his hands were over mine, they weren't like Toushiro's, they were rough, calloused, but not yet with a completely new layer of skin like Toushiro.

Finally he pulled away, a look in his eyes that I had trouble comprehending. He took his hands away from my wrist. Letting them free.

"I love-" I didn't let him finish as I scrambled to my feet.

"No you don't" I felt years and years of repressed bitterness and jealously rise.

" You always noticed Sakura and Ino, you've always loved Sakura"

"No matter how hard I tried, I was always the last person to cross your mind," I clenched my fist.

"I watched and waited until the day I died"

"Every knife I threw, every little thing I did was to get closer to you"

"All I ever wanted was for you to notice me!" my arm shook.

"But you never did" I felt my arm fall limp, tears fluttering behind my eyes in frenzied song.

"Hinata I- I know I didn't notice you back then, but now…"

"Now I…" I turned away, gathering my kimono into my arms.

"Now it's too late" I whispered soft images of various kisses scattering through my mind like evidence splayed on a table.

Our first kiss in the dead of night followed by a soft lullaby, our kisses on the roof, the kiss he had given me, on the night when I had encountered Aizen without him knowing. That rough and fiery kiss, those moments of simply breathing in the scent of steam, paper, ink and winter.

"What? You in love with Shorty or something? " his tone was joking, but I could feel the unintentional jealous undertone-wait, jealous? Why would he be jealous? He didn't love me, he loved Sakura!

"Hai" I don't know why that fact made me cry, from the moment I had met him I had felt an undeniable connection, I had been captured the moment that I saw those blue green eyes.

"What?"

"I'm in love with Toushiro" He laughed, his laugh wasn't honest though.

"You" He wiped his eyes, holding his stomach.

"You're kidding me!" he burst out into more laughter, but it was strained, angry almost.

"You're in love with that short Neji copy!"  
"Toushiro is nothing like-"

"All he needs to do is dye his hair and kill you and their practically twins!" I felt myself shake with anger, I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that they were different people, that Toushiro wasn't Neji, and Neji wasn't a ruthless killer.I deserved what I got . No matter how much I hated it. It was a life for a life, it was fair, I took his father, he took me. It was as simple as that. But still he went on.

"They've both got the same demeanor, hell they have the same posture!"

"They both think they're better then the rest of the world" that wasn't true, neither of them thought that. Toushiro was constantly trying to earn the respect of his squad, constantly trying to prove that he could be regarded as a taicho, and not some kid off the streets that happened to wield a strong wanted only to be free of the scar that bound him to the main house. He didn't want to be better then anyone, he just wanted to be free.

"They both could care less about your well being" that was the last straw. I whirled around, my hand whipped around, striking him across the face. My kimono top fluttered to the ground.

"What the hell would you know!"

"Toushiro doesn't think that he's better then anyone! He's been trying his whole life to get the world around him to regard him as an equal"

"All Neji has ever wanted is to not be looked down on!"

"Toushiro has saved my life on more then one occasion! If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here!" red, all I could see was red. Red blood that framed my fingers, red hands, a red mark where I had slapped him.

I had slapped him. I looked at my hand; Did Tou-sama's hands get red when he trained with me? Did Neji's hands redden when he killed me? I shook my head violently,

Why was everything so confusing?

Why did Momo have to be hurt!

Why did she have to be caught in the crossfire?

I looked up to apologize, but he was already gone. I dropped to my knees. What had I done?

'_what have you done to annoy us all this time Hinata-sama?' _I pushed my hands into the river. I scrubbed my hands under until the raw skin stung in the cold water. I pulled my hands out of the water flexing stiff red joints to make sure that they still moved.

'_I really fucked up didn't I?' _

"Oi! Hinata! Doko ni!" (_doko ni: where are you) _I jumped at the sound of Toushiro's voice. Again I pulled my kimono shirt towards me, I knew I had no chance of tying it with only one hand in the time that it would take Toushiro to be able to see me. so I just draped it around my shoulders.

"Hina-Eh!" I blushed, finding my eyes being drawn to across the river, the exact opposite direction I had expected him to come from

"G-go-gomen! I didn't mean to-" he sputtered, his hands waving in front of his face in a very embarrassed fashion.

"I-I'll leave if your bathing" he finished, a pink blush on his cheeks.

"I-I'm not bathing" I held my kimono together.

"I was just c-cleaning my wound" my good hand itched to fidget, but I only let it clench so I didn't end up embarrassing Toushiro…again.

"All this time?" now he was next to me. What was with my senses today! I was able to track Ichimaru's reiatsu all the way to the sokyoku, which was all the way on the other side of the seireitei and now I couldn't sense a thing! I shook my head, trying to shake the fuzzy fog off of my senses.

"Then what have you been doing?" I blinked, I couldn't even remember the question, and it showed. He pushed some stray hair behind my ears, and I blushed at the contact.

"I…"

"I don't know"

_**Yeah. I know, crappy place to end it. but you know the inflammatory response that I was talking about earlier? (It has a (1) next to it.)**_

_**Well this is basically what it is. **_

_**Be prepared for a scientific explanation that will most likely bore you out of your wits. I love science and I especially love learning about the body systems though the immune system is a bit harder to understand for me at least... or that could have something to do with the four or five hours of sleep followed by hyper-activity that has dominated my day. **_

_**Okay, so when a cut first is infect with bacteria, it triggers our inflammatory response, which is a sort of localized fever that raises the temperature around the infected area to try and kill the bacteria. **_

_**If this doesn't work, the body starts it's immune response which is when we get a full on fever, and the wound swells and gets pussy as it tries to expel the bacteria. So yeah. That's what Hinata was thinking about… **_

_**but I'm kinda running low on inspiration for this right now, but the good news is that I'm **_

_**A: going to get the third installment of my HitsuHinata alphabet one-shots up soon**_

_**B: am in the process of writing a new snippet of Apathy, and I'm also writing an epilogue for it. **_

_**C: I am working on the fourth installment of my HitsuHinata alphabet project. **_

_**So though I'm having problems with this my fingers aren't still!**_


	29. Dragons and Where He Just Can't Go

_**I'm sorry. I'm such a lazy and mean author. I haven't updated in over a month, and for that I am EXTREMELY sorry. But in my defense my life has been going a bit insane lately.**_

_**Ugh. This is the summary of my WORST day EVER so I had to get my high-school results because they hadn't come in the mail like they were supposed to. So I go to the guidance office during math, and Mr. Phillips says, "Come at the end of the day" so I think 'what the fuck' but deal with it and go back to math... **_

_**Then I'm called to the main office during the next period. And Mr. Phillips takes me to his cubicle sort of thing, and my mom was there. So I say **_

_**"Why are you here?" I know. That was rude to say. But I honestly wasn't expecting my mom to be there. She works in Manhattan so it was weird for her to be there. So basically he let me sit in his chair that rotates cause I wanted to, and I say **_

_**"So this is the moment of truth?" and then his expression just… crumpled in on itself... seriously. It went from smiling in a normal way to a sort of fake smile in a split second. So either way, then he says, **_

_**"Well (not sure what he said here) a moment of disappointment" then I suppose my expression crumpled, he went on to explain that I could still get into the schools that I wanted, and how I could appeal my rejection. He also said that sometimes when kids don't match up you can see why because they're bad students, but with you the "stars just didn't align" and "it's a reflection on the system, not you", which was really nice of him. So then he says.**_

_**"Do you want to go back to class or do you want to just take a walk, or just go home?" I said that I wanted to go home and my mom said that was okay (thanks mom!) so basically he gave me a note so Mrs. Welch would let me get my stuff. Then I went up to homeroom and I was just trying not to cry, and Mrs. Welch starts the conversation that would prelude the most epic fail in history. **_

_**"Is everything okay? Nobody died right?" I just said**_

_**"No" all quiet cause I just didn't want to cry in front of her, and because she sucks at comforting people. **_

_**"Well your okay then!" and she says this in the happiest voice you can imagine. (See what I mean. terrible at comforting.... great thing to say Mrs. Welch.) So I just got my books and mumbled something, and when I was walking back to the guidance office I had a little crying jag with Nell Bell and then I ran into Iliade (last person I want to see) and then started to walk home with my mom... **_

_**The thing is that I actually held up better then she did, she was crying. Which made me feel crappy because now I feel like I really brought her hopes down in a flaming wreck. But since I had already cried in front of Nell bell and Iliade I just couldn't cry in front of her too. So I just really wanted to go home. **_

_**Yeah... that was a really bad day. But that bad day has passed. **_

_**There is good news**_

_**Turns out the DOE messed up my application…**_

_**AND I GOT INTO MY FIRST CHOICE!!**_

_**OH YEAH!!**_

_**I'm so happy about that… seriously. I jumped for joy when Mr. Phillip's told me. I literally jumped screamed "YES!" in a high-pitched excited girl scream, and then skipped (that's right skipped) back to class. That is the level of my happiness. **_

_**I worked in the mornings forty minutes before school four days a week to get my portfolio ready, and stayed six hours at the school I got into for my auditions (two hours of a drawing test and four hours of waiting). It was hard to do, but it paid off like you can't imagine. All those mornings) were worth it. **_

_**Oh yeah! And since a reviewer asked about this I will explain. The HitsuHinata alphabet project. **_

_**Okay here it goes. **_

_**So basically I want to spread some HitsuHinata loving around through some one-shots. Anywho, the only rules are that it be HitsuHinata and that it has a one-word prompt (Ex. back) that is stated in the authors note and that you use the prompt as a title. **_

_**Either way, if you know anyone who would be interested, please get the below message to them! And tell them to get it to anyone THEY think would be interested. **_

_**Dear whoever is reading this,**_

_**If you have received this message then someone has recruited you to the cause of HitsugayaHinata. **_

_**The purpose: to spread the wonderful crack of HitsugayaHinata around. **_

_**The plan: to get people to write one-shots for HitsugayaHinata so it can become more popular, the one-shot can be in any genre (angst, romance, humor ect.) and any style of writing (songfic, poems, plays, ect.) **_

_**The rules: okay, so I have made a couple guidelines to help you out and make some stuff clear **_

_**1. The one-shot should have a one-word prompt, and this prompt should be stated in the Authors note**_

_**2. The title for said one-shot should be the same as your one word prompt**_

_** pairing MUST be HitsugayaHinata. No if ands or buts. **_

_**4. HAVE FUN WITH IT! Do whatever you want; it can be sad, fluffy, whatever it wants to be. **_

_**Happy writing**_

_**Tsukihime Nee**_

_**Yeah…. Forward that to ANYONE you think would be interested. PLEASE!**_

_**I'm sorry for such a late update, I'm a lazy ass-clown, and I KNOW it. So sorry for the complete lateness, and most likely utter FAIL (with a capital god-damn everything) that this might be… **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach or Naruto. **_

_**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY CAT CALLIE. SHE PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING (5/4/10) AFTER BEING SICK FOR ONLY ONE DAY. **_

_**I LOVE YOU CALLIE!!!**_

_"I was just c-cleaning my wound" my good hand itched to fidget, but I only let it clench so I didn't end up embarrassing Toushiro…again._

_"All this time?" now he was next to me. What was with my senses today! I was able to track Ichimaru's reiatsu all the way to the Sokyoku, which was all the way on the other side of the Seireitei and now I couldn't sense a thing! I shook my head, trying to shake the fuzzy fog off of my senses._

_"Then what have you been doing?" I blinked, I couldn't even remember the question, and it showed. He pushed some stray hair behind my ears, and I blushed at the contact._

_"I…"_

_"I don't know"_

**Hitsugaya's point of view**

"We should go back, Jiraiya and Uzumaki are getting worried" I stated softly, helping Hinata to tie her kimono closed once again, which was a somewhat awkward process, that involved both of us blushing and trying not to be conscious of what we were doing.

"Tell them…" she mumbled, gripping my hand.

"That you found me sleeping under a tree"

"Why would I say that? It's not true"

"I-I slapped Naruto" I chuckled, remembering the look on his face when he had said it.

"I noticed"

"What did he say?" I asked a smile still lingering on my face.

"Nothing. Nothing I should have gotten so mad about-"

"That wasn't the question" I cut her off.

"H-he said that y-you didn't care a-about me" she looked away, her chin and tears trembling.

"And that's ridiculous. You know what you are to me right?" I stroked her cheek, turning her head towards me, Hinata nodded.

"I don't know what I am to Neji though," She stated sadly, hugging herself.

"I never will know," She whispered.

"What you are? Don't you mean what you were?" Hinata shook her head.

"When I died, I was nothing but a worthless weak person who killed everything I touched" She shivered, looking at her hands in disgust.

"I don't want to be that." she clenched her body, tense muscles folding like paper. I could see that his was a place that I didn't belong. This past wasn't a place that I could tread; I knew that from day one. When I had made her cry by asking her of her nightmares.

I picked her up, and she seemed far too light. And even so it hurt to hold her, so walked back as quickly as I could. Uzumaki looked up, his eyes immediately looked to Hinata who had buried her head into my shoulder.

"Where'd you find her?" He asked quietly. Never taking his eyes off of her, even though he was addressing me

"Under a tree, sleeping. What is it to you?" I glared at him, a rush of something running over me. Something, hot and fiery, yet somehow icy and tremulous all at the same time.

"Sleeping? You sure that she wasn't passed out?" I felt my eyes narrow. Hinata had saved me, by taking on part of my wound, and by doing that she had injured herself for my sake. I was grateful for that, but certainly not proud.

"I'm sure" I shot back icily. I made sure to lay her down softly, and letting her head rest on my haori again, before lying down to sleep myself. Today was simply not something that was going to get better by just staying awake and hoping for the best.

_Black._

_Everything was black. I blinked. Now I could see that I was in a world made of black. The ground feels like grass and I can see bright blue pools that dot this landscape. I notice that I am lying down. I sit up._

"_Where am I? "_

"**So you've found your way here, Hitsugaya Toushiro," **_a female voice whispers in my ear. Her voice is the strangest mix between motherly and seductive. It sent heated shivers down my spine. Making me suddenly feel like my cheeks were on fire. I turned finding myself face to face with a child in a purple kimono._

"**Kawaii! What a beautiful shade of pink! Almost like Sakura-Chan's hair!"**

"_I am not kawaii!" I hated that word with a passion; I was not cute. Cute was a word used for children. I was not a child._

"_What is this place? And who the hell are you?" I turned around completely. I heard the tiny rhythm of bells as she stepped back a bit. Her skin was only a bit more pigmented then Hinata's, and she shared her wide pupiless eyes, though the many colors within them swirled like a tempest, but she had finer brown hair and her hair was parted down the middle unlike Hinata._

"**I'll let you figure that one out for yourself Tensai-kun"**

"**You could just tell him," **_Hyourinmaru's voice echoes only lightly in this place. He is curled up around her, his head pushing into her hand. _

"**Aw! But that wouldn't be any fun! " **_Her voice is playful, flirty even_

'S_-she's flirting with Hyourinmaru? This is beyond scarring'_

"**Don't give me that look. I have to watch you two flirt all the time!"**

'_Wait. You two? Wait, Hyourinmaru is a part of me, so who the hell would I flirt with?'_

"_Hinata! You're Hinata's zanpakto!"_

"**Bingo!" **_she gave thumbs up. I blinked_

"_You're nothing like her," I stated bluntly._

"**So you've noticed," **she stated mirroring my own tone of voice exactly.

"** Please feel free to roam this place."**

_I nodded. Walking away. My walk was aimless really. It was useless to look for Hinata's presence, for it saturated every feature of this seemingly featureless landscape. Walking to an unknown destination._

"_I wonder where she is?" I mumbled. Something warm wrapped around my middle I nearly jump at the unexpected, yet somehow welcomed touch. I could see two bare porcelain arms that could only belong to Hinata._

"_Right here" I manage to turn around to face her. She's wearing a white dress that comes only to her mid thigh and shows off the smallest amount of cleavage. I blink a bit. She's like a moon, so pale skin and eyes surrounded by her midnight sky hair. Her cheeks turned pink as she noticed my staring._

"_I-is something wrong with me?" I shook my head._

"_No, not at all. You look pretty" This caused her blush to deepen by a margin._

"_I'm not pretty Toushiro," she whispered_

"_Hinata, don't talk like that. You're beautiful, it's high time you realized that" she just sighed._

"_I'm sorry" her voice is a little whisper I smiled. Placing my lips on her forehead. Inhaling her scent. Now I could smell a tiny hint of jasmine along with the more familiar scents of river water and sunlight._

_We both sway to an unknown beat her arms tangled around my neck. My own hands encircle her waist; her skin is warm even beneath her dress. I can't help but notice how her curves fit under my hands so well._

_Her waist fit perfectly in the v between my thumb and the rest of my hand. Leaving my thumb to trace idle patterns on her silk smooth (yet somehow firm) belly._

_They fit my hands as if they were sculpted with the notion that my hands would one day hold her close like this. Hold close her rising and falling chest, hold close her never ceasing heartbeat, hold close her scent, hold close the scars I can feel beneath my hands._

"_Toushiro?" she said it so softly, yet it still jerked me from my thoughts. I nod, my eyelids feel heavy, and as if made of she stops moving so do I. I wasn't even ashamed to admit to myself that I was utterly drunk on her very presence._

_The stupor that smothers my mind as if it is buried deep within the ground. Layers of earth suffocating everything but the most primitive of thought. I bring my lips ever so softly to hers._

_I can't help but feel a surge of dominance over her, even in her own world. I wonder if she would like my own inner world, if she would find fascination in my icy plain, in it's cold and icy but somehow nurturing winds and roaring thunder. Her lips pull away hesitantly._

"_You shouldn't daydream while kissing" she mummers. Her breath tickles against me. Substantial, yet intangible._

"_Cause when you daydream you're not thinking about what your doing." We're swaying again._

"_When Toushiro daydreams while kissing he bights" I felt my cheeks burn with an indescribable heat at her nonchalant, yet somehow flirty and daring way that she spoke, like I wasn't even there yet directly to me. I was entranced and fascinated with her voice even when she wasn't using this type of tone, but now._

'_Now it's useless to resist her'_

"_Tako-Hasu's right. You are cute when you blush" this comment made the heat in my cheeks increase tenfold._

"_I-I'm not cute," I muttered unconvincingly._

"_I don't suppose you are. And besides, I don't really mind the bighting. You are a dragon after all"_

"_A-a dragon?" I mumbled. Sure Hyourinmaru was a dragon. But no one had ever called me that._

"_I don't mind though, because you're my dragon. "_

"_That's odd, I never heard of the Hime falling in love with the dragon"_

"_H-h-h-hime?"_

_**Ha-ha, yeah I cheated a bit, but hey you guys really (and I mean REALLY) deserve the update. I can't really think of much to say… this is kind of sad. Generally I can't shut up, but I guess everyone has those kinds of days. I only slept from three something AM to 5:12 AM Sunday into Monday night so I was pretty tired when I wrote the chapter. And as for why I didn't sleep it was super humid. You guys don't know this but I'm terrible with heat, and I couldn't sleep because I was too hot and sticky even with my window open. A thunder and lightning storm came around three something which helped me fall asleep, but then I randomly woke up at 5:12 am and I couldn't fall asleep again after that, so here I am, really tired, and still hot and sticky because it is STILL humid, which is something I hate with a passion. Stupid humidity. **_


	30. Learning Her Past And How Things Show

_Wow. This is the thirty-first chapter… that is creepy man! And speaking of creepy stuff having to do with this story it's been brought to my attention that I have over 230 reviews. HOLY SHIZDUCKS is all I have to say. I never imagined I'd ever write something that'd get so many reviews. I mean, I just think about myself like that. It's kind of hard to explain, I'm just generally a second place finisher, and it weird to be like, hey… people like your shit! Aint that amazing? _

_And more creepiness! Me and my two friends Rachi and Livia were shopping because we all needed swimsuits (happy memorial day everyone!) and we saw a Victoria's secret and the big poster on the front was advertising that new bra their selling that's supposed to make you look something like two cup sizes bigger... so Rachel somehow convinced us to just try it on so we can laugh about it later and well... it looked highly... unnatural to say the least... that and I couldn't feel my chest at ALL... Livia kept poking herself, and kept saying "I can't feel it!" then she poked me, and I couldn't feel anything either, because that thing is just two cup sizes of padding. I just looked like I had a major boob job, and I'm talking MAJOR... cause well... two cup sizes more is WAY too much... *SHUDDER* either way, an inside joke was born! Now that's enough of my life for now. Oh and by the by I now have a deviantART account. I have Catch and Apathy up there already as well as a new AizenXHinata one-shot called Hunger... that's right, AizenXHinata, smexy no? It's got a really cool dynamic to it if you ask me, but then again I'm a bit strange. Anywho here's the link http:/tako-hasu-hinata(dot)deviantart(dot)com/ just put real periods where the dots are. Yeah. Tako-Hasu-Hinata. Aren't I a sucker? Whatever, on with the story._

_**Hitsugaya's Point of view**_

I woke with a start, my cheeks still hot from the strange dream.

_What the hell was that? ' _

Hinata… She had been so at ease, so confidant. So…_happy. _Like she had forgotten everything that had happened... like Hinamori was fine, and Kuchuki wasn't facing execution, or perhaps even already dead. I looked to Hinata, she was sound asleep, a smile set across her face.

"Is it so much to ask?" I whispered. I knew that as soon as she woke up that smile would be gone. She'd remember about Hinamori and Naruto and everything that had happened. I sighed again.

"What isn't so much to ask?" Naruto glared, his cerulean eyes glowing in the uncertain moonlight.

"None of your business Uzumaki" I glared, holding onto Hinata's hand out of pure possessiveness.

"It _is_ my business" He stated a venom clear in his eyes, whose pupils were steadily becoming slit like, a heady killer intent flowing out from him.

"Look, I don't want to pick a fight with you" I muttered, looking away.

"Not so cocky now are you?" I didn't even respond.

"Screw you Uzumaki. I'm not doing this"

"Not doing what?"

"You're picking a fight with me, and I want nothing to do with it" I mustered the best death glare I could. I wanted the glare to be cold, icy, to be everything everyone else thought I was. The ice prince, the tensei, the youngest taicho in the history of the seireitei. Far above the world, and far above working towards greatness like the common masses. For once I just wanted to be alone, cold and isolated.

"You know…you remind me of someone" his eyes began to turn a bloody crimson. My heart began to pound at the ominous aura that was crushing inside of my chest. It wasn't the size; his reiatsu wasn't much more then that of an unranked officer, which was amazing for a human with no training, but not enough to daunt me.

It was the feel of the reiatsu that was scary. Like falling through every one of your worst nightmares one by one until you couldn't even distinguish between the terror of the nightmares and the fear just what was at the bottom.

"Who?" I stated, determined to not show him my fear. In hindsight, it was an idiotic thing to do. But then again, hindsight is always twenty twenty.

"Neji" I cocked an eyebrow. The name seemed ever so vaguely familiar. I wracked my brain for anyone by that name, but I couldn't think of anyone. Maybe Hinata?

_"Hinata?" Her head snapped up._

_"Something wrong?" She shook her head; she was shivering, which wasn't all that strange, considering the temperature, which I knew was below freezing._

_"Here, It's not much but you seem to need it more than me" I took off my haiori draping it around her shivering shoulders. It wasn't all that much, but it seemed to help a bit considering she stopped shivering._

_"T-Toushiro, a-aren't you cold?"_

_"No, I have an ice type zanpakto, I don't get cold. "_

_"But that doesn't make sense, Tako Hasu is an ice type too, but I still feel freezing" I shrugged, pulling her closer. My logical excuse was that body heat would help her feel warmer, but I just wanted her close like we had been when I had rescued her from drowning._

_"Why did you come here?"_

_"I was looking for a good place to look at the stars" she gulped before a far away look washed over her eyes._

_"Hinata?" her eyes brightened again, tears fluttering out of them. She rubbed at her eyes to stop the tears but it was utterly useless because they just kept coming. She sniffed._

_"Why? Why did we break our promise? We promised we'd never hurt each other, we promised, didn't we?" she asked aloud, pulling my haiori closely around her._

_"Who promised?"_

_"N-"_

_"Neji"_

'_Could that be the same Neji? The one who broke his promise to her?'_

"Who's that?"

"You honestly don't know" Naruto chuckled darkly, a strange sort of pain in his eyes. Dull but still raw, like what happened to Hinata when she thought about her life.

"Neji..."

"Is the one that killed her" My eyes widened against the memories of her tears, the soft rain like sound they made when they hit the ground, when she had been scared of me. That look in her big lavender eyes that even after all this time, I could only see as innocent. Shaking and unstable, as if her irises were a thin sheet of ice faced with an earthquake.

"I would never hurt her" his hand is around my throat, the only thing keeping his reiatsu from burning my skin was my own icy reiastu that was beginning to frost the ground around us.

"Then why is she injured now? Because you failed to protect her?"

"Forgive me for not protecting her while unconscious Uzumaki" I rolled my eyes, hoping to hide my own guilt, before tearing his hand away from my throat.

"And anyway; Hinata has grown immensely since you last saw her"

"She doesn't need protecting. You're a fool to think otherwise" he left me with one last glare before walking back to his sleeping place, obviously still steaming with anger, and obviously not finished with me.

I looked to Hinata. She had barely even stirred throughout our entire argument; the only change was that she had curled up against the cold I had created, her breath clouding around her in a puff of steam. I held her head, and slowly taking my haiori out from under her head. She groaned softly.

"Shiro" she whispered. I almost was angry with her for calling me that, but seeing the sleepy expression that she wore, the anger melted away instantly. She probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning because she was that far gone.

"Sorry" I whispered, kissing her forehead softly, I placed my haiori over her body.

"Cold?" I chuckled under my breath.

"Most powerful ice zanpakto remember?"

"Sleep with me" I felt myself blush as years of Matsumoto's lewdness caused me to think of the utterly perverted side of her statement.

"Please?"

"J-just for tonight" I mumbled, lowering myself so I was next to her on the ground, She pulled me close to her, draping my haiori over the both of us like a blanket. I almost blushed at how my head was against her, well... chest. But something about it made me relax in her hold. She was so warm in that half sleep that she was currently in.

When she was awake she had certain coldness about her that I knew nothing could ever erase, because I had it too. Momo and Baa-san had tried so hard to erase it by being so kind and joking with me, but none of that was really ever going to work. Warm as I might, I still had an essential coldness that would remain.

One's Zanpakto often came out in that way. Being gifted with ice zanpakto's Hinata and me had certain coldness to us both, both stubborn and hard to change. Soutaicho-sama who wielded the most powerful fire based zanpakto was strong and steady, like a big bonfire that was being forever fed by the strength of the gotei thirteen. Matsumoto had her Haineko, a wind based zanpakto that complimented her somewhat ditzy and free personality.

I have no idea of when I fell asleep, but when I did, it was the muffling black kind of sleep that you never wanted to wake up from because it was so restful. A welcome escape from the terrible things that had happened, and the questions that wouldn't shut up.

_Okay... I know, short and crappy yet again... but honestly it's the best I got at the moment. I'm sorry, but my inspiration is somewhere else at the moment. You know, come to think of it my inspiration is in three other places, an AU Hisagi X Hinata one shot; a multi-chapter Kusaka x Hinata X Toushiro AU, and another chapter on The Product Of Their Defeat might become a multi chapter story. So yeah... my muse doesn't like this much right now... but I hope you all like it! _

_Oh yeah, and here are the people who showed their love! You guys are the best! _

_Chapter 29:_

_Review: ComicXArena, AmethystEntity, candinaru25, Ignisha, Can't tell you! () (Gosh darn it! why can't you tell me!) Flare Ride, A Forgotten Fairy. . AKA- Fairy, diff-r-ent-1, OBSERVER01, AnimeMixDJ, Flight-Risk,__ evilbananalol, CloudwatcherNumbuh7, wisdom-jewel, ForceofGreed, ksv12, StormGoddess101_

_Alert:__ perfect beauty, sasuhinafan121, , AmY change,_

_Favorite:__ Jakie Lee, ksv12, Hayden-Strife, Frog030, leurelayne (as an author! thanks so much!),_

_Chapter 30:_

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	31. A New World And Who He Used To Not Know

_Hey guys! Well, this might be the last you hear of me for a while, because I go to camp on the 27th of June, and therefore won't be home to type and post new stuff. I'll miss you guys! But then I'll be back, though I might have some troubles with updating because of an increased workload due to high school. But I promise I will try my best to update this! Anywho, I just got this from my dear Rachi, and I love it so much, so I had to post it. Oh and check this out! My friend Rachi wrote it. It was really sweet so I decided to feature it, cause she's awesomely awesome this is dedicated to her. _

_"_! I like that the elves will always be with us. :] I like your eyes; your eyes have the most amazing colors in them. I like how you can fall on the floor, cracking up super-duper loudly, with that blue frosting. XD I like that you are obsessed with Disney songs in French and Japanese, and I like how pretty your voice is. Oh and I also like how you're so strong and willing to stand up for yourself and for others, cuz that is a trait that a lot of people would dream of having, and it comes naturally to you, since you're such an amazing person. SO MAY THE ELVES BE WITH YOU. 3"_

_Ha-ha, Yes I blanked out my name... I'm not dumb enough to give that away over the internet I mean, I do tell you guys a lot about myself, it's kind of crazy, and a bit stupid in some respects... not that I think you guys are stalkers, but just in case I like to be cautious... that and I hate my real name. But isn't Rachi such a doll face? She deserves a big hug from an orange elf. I love you to bits Rachi! Feel free to ask about the blue frosting though. Cause that's a hilarious story._

_Well, I'm in eighth grade, so my grade had our "Prom" this Tuesday. It was so fun! Everyone looked really nice (though some people could have gotten a bit of a longer dress COUGHiliadCOUGH) and though the food sucked, it was really nice because the place where we had it was this big ass ballroom that used to be a mansion at some point. The music was mostly hip-hop, which even though I hate listening to, I can dance to, even though I suck at dancing. But it was super fun. And I took a lot o pictures. My dress was black, knee length with the kind of skirt that twirls out when you spin. Very fun... very fun indeed._

_I also got blood drawn on Thursday. I had to wait a really long time, but it wasn't all that bad. I couldn't watch them insert the needle, but it was kind of cool to watch the little vial fill up with blood, they took like two vials of my blood for some reason, so afterwards I felt not so good afterwards, and my dad refused to believe that I was dizzy._

_Oh! And we went to Dorney Park on Friday! It was AMAZING! I hung out with Nim-Nim, Claire bear, Kowala, Emi and other peoples. I went on a lot of roller coasters, and now my voice is all horse, cause I scream like a blonde chick in a horror movie on roller coasters. I just about blew out poor Emi's eardrums... (Sorry Emi... I love you!) I also went on the water rides, which was awesome, cause I'm a sucker for anything that involves water. The ride back was fun at first because Bakka, the wizard and me recounted our various pyromaniac excursions. (Bakka won, cause her and a couple friends made some poor elementary school kid's lunch box explode... not sure how though) but we hit traffic, which made me hate the state of New Jersey. But other then that, it was actually pretty fun! _

_Oh and guess what! I have a special guest for today's author's note! It's my lovely, (and often ranted about) Bakka! _

_Bakka: Heyyyyyy all you readers! Um...lets see. I just found out about this thing that Mar-_

_Tsukihime: NO! * Tackles bakka* _

_Tsukihime: no name the Internet... I'm scared... that and ever heard of proper spelling?_

_Bakka: No. So here I am-again, its Bakka-chan! Anyways...I'm a computer hog and I talk a lot and what the fuck has Mar-bear been saying/ranting bout me? Grrrrrrrrrrr to lazy to sift through all the writing to find out. By the way, has anyone even gotten this far?_

_Prolly not :)_

_Back to mar-bear_

_Tsukihime: meh... for your info Dea, I've been ranting about our crazy friendship problems... cause. No one else listens to me, cept you... and the problems were about you, so I didn't talk to you about it, and then I didn't feel like venting inwards, so I typed it out... goshels... _

_Bakka: I like that, goshels_

_Tsukihime: to bad it's mine. No stealing it_

_Bakka: aw... but bakka likes it!_

_Tsukihime: Too bad. It's still mine_

_Bakka: well you know what... I don't know... _

_Bakka: this is kinda cool... _

_Tsukihime: I told you about this like last year... you just haven't been paying attention to your __fanfiction (DOT) net__ account at all... _

_Bakka: well..._

_Tsukihime: it is ten fifty three... Dea? HELLO! _

_Bakka: I feel icky, badabadabada... _

_Bakka: I'll be back... * leaves room, then comes back* _

_Bakka: Facebook Addict! 3 3 3 Go get dressed! Cause I want to drag you to umpiring with me!_

_Tsukihime: I refuse. I have work_

_Bakka: Work? _

_Bakka: Bitch get your ass dressed. So you can at least come out with me for a little while..._

_Tsukihime: and if I'm too lazy to do so? _

_Bakka: Then... I'll go on Facebook 'til you get dressed *mischievous laugh*_

_Tsukihime: you suck... _

_Tsukihime: can I borrow your deodorant?_

_Bakka: yeah... just let me use it first * uses deodorant* _

_Bakka: here * throws deodorant at tsukihime* _

_Tsukihime: your deodorant smells funny_

_Bakka: ..._

_Tsukihime: * logs out of bakka's facebook* too much cover up on the pencil_

_Tsukihime: and you can use the underwear to wipe off the extra_

_Bakka: I love that you use underwear... _

_Tsukihime: it's beautiful no?_

_Bakka: what? Your author's note?_

_Tsukihime: I guess so... _

_Bakka: * keeps putting on makeup* _

_Tsukihime: why are you putting on make when you're going to umpire? And that's my lip-gloss_

_Bakka: no it's mine, and I have a life afterwards that's why_

_Tsukihime: you and your life_

_Bakka: what do you mean?_

_Tsukihime: you have a life outside of being stupid_

_Bakka: so do most people_

_Tsukihime: you suck_

_Bakka: what do you mean, I suck? You're the one who won't come and chill with me._

_Tsukihime: point... but I also have... French shit to do_

_Bakka: so do I but you can do it tomorrow_

_Tsukihime: I have a game tomorrow_

_Bakka: what time? And are you really recording our whole conversation?_

_Tsukihime: * typing* _

_Bakka: I'll take that as a yes_

_Tsukihime: I am in fact... because that is my extent of my not having a life_

_Bakka: what a boring life you must have... tisk tisk. _

_Tsukihime: I'll walk you to the door_

_Bakka: *picks up necklace* how come you never wear this? Is it your sisters?_

_Me: no. I got it for secret Santa_

_Bakka: then how come you never wear it?_

_Me: I don't know... _

_After that I just got tired of recording everything... but either way, isn't my bakka beautiful! I let her be a guest today, cause whenever I talk about her, I'm having problems, and I feel like she's been getting a bit of a bad rap on here, so I felt bad because she really is like a sister to me, and I do love her a lot. Ha-ha, I just noticed she called me a bitch at some point, which means I have to explain that sometimes curses are titles of endearment... kind of weird, but it works... _

_Please excuse Naruto's OOCness... I'm not all that sure how to write him, so I'll do the best I can. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Naruto_

_Again. This is dedicated to my dear Rachi. And the elves. And bakka._

**Naruto's point of view**

I retreated to the place where I had been sleeping before, the white haired brat's words echoing in my head like a temple bell, bouncing around and around so that all that I could think about were those words.

_"Hinata has grown immensely since you last saw her" _

_"She doesn't need protecting. You're a fool to think otherwise" A_ fool, huh? I knew I had been a fool then. For not seeing Hinata, and what she thought of me. But now... Now I wasn't so blind. I knew that I loved her... that was for sure right? I loved her new long hair, and pretty face, and her kindness... her smile. The smile that I had caused to fall into a discordant, teary thing that used a voice I didn't recognize. Why the hell had I said that? If someone said that Hinata-chan was a killer, I'd probably kick their ass, not just slap them.I sat up realizing that no matter how I tried, sleep wasn't going to come for a while. I got greeted by the sight of them sleeping together. And not in that sense of the phrase, if I had woken up to that... well. I wasn't even sure if I'd vomit, or kill that stupid white haired bastard for doing that to her, because somehow I couldn't (perhaps it was wouldn't) imagine that she actually would want to do anything along those lines with him, or anyone for that matter. Or maybe I couldn't imagine her wanting to that at all, in memory of the shy blushing girl that I had been with in academy.

In my mind, Hinata was immortal in that way. Even after seeing her with her long hair that swayed with her as she walked, and her black traditional robes, in my mind's eye I still saw her short hair that didn't even go past her neck, and the baggy tan sweater she worn when she had lived and fought and died, not even in the kimono she had worn in her coffin. Though it was admittedly prettier then anything I had ever seen her in. The white haired brat was sound asleep against Hinata's chest, his scowl still somewhat in place as he slept. He looked even more like a brat now, clinging to her like a little kid would cling to their mom if they had a bad dream. I wanted to hate him. I really did, I wanted to hate everything about him. I wanted to hate his cold demeanor, the aloof look in his eyes, I wanted to hate the katana and haiori on his back, and the black robes that were like Hinata's. But somehow I couldn't, because I wanted to be in his place more then anything in the world. I wanted more then anything to feel her heartbeat and breath, the warmth that I assumed that she had even though, I had never actually hugged her. Scratch that, she had hugged me.

_"I-. Hinata-Chan. Gomen, I never noticed you, not until you fought Neji and I realized how strong you were. And I never knew what you felt about me until Kiba told me about th-the note and well" The__ rest was lost as sobs took me over, ruining the words I had fought so hard to find, I leaned down, kissing her lips because deep down, I really wanted to believe in fairy tales. I wanted this to be a terrible terrible dream that I would wake up from, if I only kissed her like prince charming would. Did prince charming have a special jutsu that could bring people back to lie if he kissed them? I wish I knew that jutsu. I would give up every other jutsu I knew, if I could just know that one that could bring Hinata-Chan back. _

_As I backed away from the coffin, something wrapped around me. A cold sort pulsing settled by my chest, as if something metal was resting against it, but other then that small splash of cold, all I could feel was warm, a warm tight grip had settled around me, and suddenly I could see what had wrapped around me. Hinata. Her eyes were closed, but her face was stained with tears. A broken chain protruded from her chest, but other then that she looked identical. She was still wearing the baggy jacket that she had when she had fought. I close the coffin, but before it closes completely, she takes the comb, the kunai and my hiate, before she falls to her knees sobbing. _

I had never thought that I would come to dislike the boy that had sent Hinata to heaven. I remember being scared of him at first because he had made Hinata disappear, but after that initial fear was calmed, I had actually admired him. He had been able to comfort Hinata when I hadn't. All he had done was hug her, and give a few cold words of advice and she had stopped crying, she had even _smiled_ when he had sent her away. She had looked more peaceful then I had ever seen her. I had envied that, but it was the type of envy I felt towards Sasuke, a friendly envy, the type that was close to admiration, but wasn't quite there yet. Now it had crossed into hateful envy, the kind that made you deny that you had ever admired anything about the person.

"Hinata-Chan?" I said softly. She moved slowly, in such a way that he never even stirred as she sat up and separated his arms from her torso.

"Hai?" She seemed sheepish now.

"I shouldn't have said those things... I mean, about Neji" now it was my turn to look sheepish, though I wasn't all that sheepish about insulting the white haired kid. She nodded, something in her eyes twisting and flopping like a just caught fish.

"N-Naruto-kun" I looked up.

"I-I"

"I'm sorry" I can barely hear her, and I can't see her face at all. Her knees are pulled up, hiding her from view.

"It's fine Hinata-Chan, I would have done the same thing if someone insulted you like that" her hair flipped to the right as she jerked her head in a violent protest.

"You wouldn't have" her voice doesn't really leave much left to controversy.

"But I did. Don't your remember the chunin exams?" She nodded. The movement was hesitant, fearful almost, but still there.

"When Neji insulted you, I yelled at him"

"And after... after what happened" I couldn't bring myself to say the word death in front of her.

"I fought him in the finals, we both kinda beat the living crap out of each other" I scratched the back of my neck, I was nervous as hell, I wanted to say that it was because

"I never knew he had it so tough, with his dad dying when he so young and all" her head snapped up, a weird sort of fear settling over her.

"How did you know about that?" Hinata's voice is bold and quiet but still quivering with something I could only identify as fear. One of the strange things about her voice, it contradicts her and itself so completely.

"A-ano... he told me?" I stated, unsure of just what she was afraid of. Nothing around us was scary, unless she was afraid of the dark or something like that. She shook her head.

"It was my fault" she hugged herself with one arm.

"All my fault" She whispered, tears making her voice blurry and cottony, I felt myself panic, I hated making people cry, and I hated it especially when Hinata cried, because I love (used to love?) her and I never saw her cry when she was alive, and I didn't take all that well to the new side that I was seeing. And on the inside, I was a little scared that the white haired brat would wake up and freeze my ass like he did the ground when he let his power out to protect himself from the Kyuubi's leaking power which would have burned him.

"H-Hey! Stop crying Hinata-Chan!" I waved my arms around. But she's already crying, and I have no idea how to stop it. The white haired brat stirred, groaning in his sleep, she lent out her hand, just so it was touching his chest, and he calmed almost instantly.

" I'm sorry," She said quietly

"W-why would you be sorry? You didn't-"

"For taking out my anger on you" I cracked a smile, even though I didn't really quite get why. Maybe it was to make her feel better; maybe it was to show her that I wasn't going to be deterred.

"That? I don't even feel that anymore" she smiled a little bit.

"You should sleep Hinata-Chan" She nodded, pulling on a smile that I could tell was slightly forced.

"Tako Hasu says that too" her smile is sadder now, but at least it's not forced.

"Tako... Hasu?" She nodded.

"My zanpakto" I blinked, zanpakto meant something like soul cutting sword. But why would Hinata need that? She wouldn't cut someone's soul... would she?

"Shinigami like me and Toushiro use four types of fighting"

"Kido, which are spells that require incantations "

"Hakudo, which is our name for taijutsu"

"Hohou, which is speed"

"And zanjutsu, which is using our zanpakto"

"Zanpakto? What are these zanpakto things you keep going on about?"

"You see those katana?" She pointed to where the white haired brat's sword lay. I hadn't noticed before, but there was another katana there as well, it was a great deal shorter, and had an eight pointed guard instead of a four pointed one.

"The long one is Toushiro's. Its name is Hyourinmaru"

"It is the most powerful ice and snow type zanpakto" her voice is serious, which is something I've never heard.

"The shorter katana is mine"

"Her name is Tako Hasu. She's an ice type too"

"Zanpakto are born within the soul of their shinigami, and they are another being within us"

"A zanpakto's shape and abilities are based on their shinigami's soul"

"Once a shinigami learns their katana's name they are able to communicate with one another and grow stronger together"

"They are born with their shinigami"

"And they die with their shingami"

"That is what a zanpakto is" I blinked. That sword... was a part of Hinata's soul? And it was... an ice type? I could understand the white haired kid's being icy, given his demeanor, but Hinata? The same Hinata that had let me copy off of her test during the exams when I hadn't been able to even begin answering a single one? The same girl that had fought with such a fire just before she was snuffed out? Who died and was born in the land of _fire_? What the hell did she have in common with him? Hinata smiled at me, and for a moment I could see what she meant. I had never noticed it before, but she did have a weird tiny coldness to her. Like when she had hugged me as a spirit, she had that tiny pulsing cold at her center, and the rest warm. Like snow, cold, but somehow you almost never felt cold when you were playing in it. It was a pleasant, warm type of cold, because your heart was beating so fast that everything seemed possible, and all you could do was laugh and play and make snow angels as the sun beat down and made everything sparkle with white. She was that kind of warmth, cold warmth.

"Oyasumi, Naruto-kun" I spent the rest of the time until morning dreaming of her smile. That beautiful smile, that was sad and happy and bitter and graceful. It contradicted itself, just like her aura did, with it's warming coldness, but above all didn't belong to me anymore. As much as I hated it, Hinata had changed, and slipped into a world I didn't know. She had slipped away from my world of jutsu and kunai and into this world of kido and zanpaktos. Part of me still loved her, if only for the glimmers of the girl I used to not know.


	32. Curiosity and Butterflies

_Guess who's back! THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ME! well who else would it be? Anyway I'm back for good (finally) after being at camp for eight weeks and in quebec for another five days! My grandmother immigrated from Canada (new brunswick to be specific) so my family visits all the time. and I'm hoping to go to college there so I can apply for citizeship so I can live there someday... It's not that I don't like the US... I just like Canada a lot more. it's so beautiful in the winter, and the summers are perfect. not to hot and not to cold, at least in quebec, there's french all around and the wind is always blowing off the saint lawrance, even the paper mills in the middle of the river seem pretty at night! but enough with my expaitrot rantings. I dyed my bangs blue... like magic marker blue. it's really bright... and I start high school soon (wensday the eighth)... AHHHHH! scariness my school is fucking huge. (if you'll excuse my profanity) but it's true. they gave us a damn map! It's a big building and there's over four THOUSAND kids in there... don't get me wrong, I'm excited and I think that it'll be really good for me... but I'm also really nervous. I'm desperately trying to finish up this chapter before school starts up, and I hope it doesn't suck too badly... I'm really rushing to get this done before school, and I'm nervous about school, and I just got inspired for an Alphonse Heidrich (is that how you spell it?) X Hinata story, and it's driving me NUTS. _

_I'll probably add on to this later, or put a long note in the next chapter with all my summer stuff included but as I said. RUSHED CHAPTER... I don't like this... not one bit. I hate rushing through writing. And I don't like rushing this story. But c'est la vie! (My French hasn't improved much, but I need to practice, cause I start out in sophomore French instead of freshman French since I passed my French proficiency test back in June) I feel like I should practice my French more. But then I want to also practice Japanese... speaking of Japanese I went to uniclo to get some new clothes for school. Besides being a really cool store, a lot of the signs were in Japanese! _

_ON WITH THE STORY! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach. There I said it... LEAVE ME ALONE! _

_Naruto's point of view _

Something smelled good. I wasn't used to waking up to the smells of cooking, seeing as I had lived alone all my life, and therefore there was never anyone to cook for me before I woke up. And Ero-sennin wasn't much of a cook either. So it had to be Hinata or that Toushiro kid... Hopefully Hinata. I wanted to see her smile again. I yawned and stretched.

"Smells good," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. Hinata stiffened at his voice.

"O-Ohayo Naruto-kun" A customary blush adorned her cheeks. Both the kid and Ero-sennin were already eating what looked like soup. She handed me a bowl before sitting down in the grass between the kid and me. I guess to prevent us from pulling each other's throats out when she wasn't looking. His eyes slid over towards her, thick turquoise studying her.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He asked, putting his bowl in the grass. It was still half full of soup and noodles.

"E-eh? Me? I-I'm fine! You should eat the rest of your soup Hitsugaya-taicho, it'll help you heal if you're not hungry"

" And you? You seem to forget that you're injured as well" She blinked, wiping her hair out of her face before replying

"Hitsugaya Taicho's injuries are worse then my own" as if to prove him she lifted the arm that had been injured.

"See? It feels better already!" He frowned, one eyebrow rising.

"I can see the reiatsu strings that are holding your arm up," he stated dully

"I see you did some reading on Quincies?" Hinata blushed as a multicolored chakra string broke.

"Quincies? It looked more li-" I started, wanting to say that it wasn't any 'quincies' technique. Whatever they were. It was puppetry. A justu I'd seen Kankoro perform.

" A long dead race" the kid cut in unceremoniously.

"They aren't dead" Hinata corrected.

"There's a boy in the world of the living. A practicing Quincy" If I wasn't mistaken, I could see a proud happy note in her eye at the statement that someone from the race had survived.

" I see," he muttered

"That doesn't change the fact that you need to eat" Hinata blushed, and she began to fiddle with her hakama.

"I-I'm not hungry," She muttered.

"It's not a request" he shot back.

"N-Not a request?"

"That means it's an order. Eat"

"Eh?"

"Are you even allowed to do that?" I glared at him. I wanted Hinata-chan to eat to, but at least I wasn't going to force her to do it. He looked over to me and something twisted in my stomach, for being so short. He was scary. His presence was the epitome of cold, and not the pleasant warm-cold that Hinata had. This was cold-cold biting and eating away at flesh until it lost it's life and turned black with frostbite.

"If it's for her well being then yes I am"

"Who the hell are you to talk about well being?" I glared, making sure to look more at their injured arms more then their faces. (put this later) wait... injured _arms_? why were they injured in the exact same place! That couldn't have been an accident could it?

" A superior. Hinata may rank highly among us, but she is not a taicho class shinigami and therefore I have the authority to give her orders that have benefit her well being" Hinata blushed, but she sipped at the broth and slurped down the noodles at a surprisingly fast pace. I had always thought of Hinata as the type who ate slowly. But then again, most of what I knew about Hinata either came secondhand, or from my assumptions.

"We have to get back," she stated suddenly. The kid nodded, his eyes becoming hard and icy. He muttered something under his breath and like magic a little black and pink butterfly appeared. The pink was different then what I was used to. It wasn't the pale delicate pink of bubblegum and flowers like Sakura-Chan's hair; it was deep and strong standing out against the deepest black that I'd ever seen. Like a little fuchsia candle against the deep black of sleep. It landed on his finger and after a couple moments left and disappeared.

"What was that thing?" I asked Hinata but before she could speak up the kid butted in.

" A hell butterfly, we use them for sending messages" She smiled, her hand still on her shoulder. It was glowing a faint sort of green that looked like medical jutsu; I was kind of curious about the green light, but more curious about the butterfly. It made me feel like a kid, being so curious about so many things at once, but I kind of liked it. Being a kid again I mean.

"Like a tape recorder?" The kid just looked at me. And for all the world, he looked kind of confused.

"What the hell is that?" he stated in that stupid bland tone of voice he always does.

"Huh? You know for acting so high and mighty you sure don't know a lot-"

"There isn't any electricity in the Rukon, and since we don't use things like tape recorders in the Seireitei it's no wonder that he doesn't know" Hinata butted in, quick to defend him. It shouldn't surprise me. She said it herself. She loved him; of course she'd come to his defense. I scowled.

"Rukon?" Hinata smiled.

"Yes. That's where all human souls go after they die" I raised my eyebrow. I kept forgetting that Hinata was dead, since she was here and talking to me.

"What's it like?" I wanted to know where she had been all this time. It seemed so stupid to want to know about this 'Rukon' place, but still... I didn't know if or when Hinata was leaving. I had to learn about her. I had to say those things I never said, and learn what I should have learned years and years ago, when I still had the time.

"You'll find out," the kid stated simply, lifting his hands so the butterfly could perch. I could've sworn he smiled a little bit.

"Hinata" She nodded.

"We get to go home tomorrow" It was amazing how Hinata's face lit up.

"Yokata"

_That was a complete and total rip off, but yes they're going back to the soul society. I got big plans for the shinobi, but it comes in later kay? thanks for bearing with this terribly suckish chapter... And not only is it suckish it's SO DAMN SHORT! Meh.. I do not like this chapter right now, but it's all I got unfortunately.. _


	33. Home and Her Favorite Color

_HEY! Yeah I finally had my first day of high school, I've been ranting about it for months I know, and I bet you guys want to hear nothing more of it... but I must rant. I got lost every single time I changed classes, my school's lay out is very confusing, and it seems like no floor is the same shape as any other one (though structurally that's not possible). That and I can't find the stairs when I need to switch floors. I got confused the moment I walked into my SCS (homeroom to the rest of the world) when I had to decipher my program so that I could transfer it to my band-aid (our word for schedule) we call it a band-aid because it aids you in discovering the mystery of your bands, which is what you call periods... yeah. We use letters instead of numbers, and certain bands don't meet on certain days, and it's just confusing... and hard to explain for that matter. When you see it in action it makes more sense, a lot more sense. _

_My first day of high school was highly scary, and I had to eat cafeteria food since I forgot my lunch... I had almost forgotten how bad that stuff tasted. I had a very awkward conversation with someone I knew from middle school because he was the only person in the cafeteria that I knew, I don't have a lunch period on Wednesdays since I have Lab, or on Thursday since there isn't any D band which is when I eat. And generally I don't really eat Friday cause D-band is at like 10:05 and I'm not hungry. Which kind of sucks a little bit, but I can deal with it. _

_On happier notes. _

_I tried out for Les Miserables... It took five hours, they gave us all numbers, and I was number one hundred and ninety three. Over a four-hour wait for an audition that probably wasn't that much more then a minute long. I got home at eight in the evening. And then I had to go in again the next day cause I got a callback for the dancing part of the audition... it's really a pity that I can't dance for my life. I kind of got it a little bit after an hour of practicing, but still... I kind of sucked a bit. I didn't a part, which is very good for you guys, because then I'd have rehearsals all the time, so I wouldn't be able to write as much. _

_I'm going to go to anime club (it's time I fully embraced my inner otaku), I'm in classes with my dear Ami-Chan who I've known since sixth grade, we were in the same homeroom for all of middle school and now we have math and global together. I love her very much; she makes my life much much better since she's so very awesome. I also have my Kowala bear with me for French two, which is nice since it's mostly sophomores. That and our teacher makes... offensive comments sometimes. _

_I now wake up at five forty five. In reality I could sleep till six if I really wanted to, but I hate feeling rushed in the morning, and if I wake up at six I don't have time to write in the morning, which is important if I want to get chapters out. But five forty five is truly an ungodly hour. I get to sleep till seven on Wednesday's because I don't have to be in school till nine ten because of staff development, and I'm pretty sure waking up at seven has never felt so nice. I mean, the sun is actually up and all! _

_That, and curiously enough over a hundred math problems has the same affect on my sanity as nine hours in a canoe... strange. And speaking of camp http:/modernshark(dot)com/junk-science-miraculous-machines-linda-gold-feat-gene-stovall Yeah. It's not my usual thing. It's a rap, (by a white rapper nonetheless) but I really like the video, mostly because it was filmed at my camp! Isn't that amazing? So if you wish to see where I was while I was not updating, there you go! As usual take out the (dot) and replace it with a real period! PV OH 10! (Please ignore my camp pride and me)_

_Disclaimer: Me no own Bleach or Naruto... est ce que tu comprends? _

_Yeah, I'm sly, fitting French practice into the disclaimer. _

_Hinata's point of view:_

"Yokata" I whispered. I was finally going home, it was strange how the Seireitei had become home to me. Going to work every day, dealing with insane prisoners, walking so deep underground. It was almost a comfort now instead of a duty. I had finally found my place, even if it wasn't an important place in the eyes of most.

"You coming or not?" I blinked.

"H-hai!" I jumped to my feet, and Toushiro tossed Tako Hasu at my feet. I smiled and picked her up, tucking her into my waistband, and basking in the warming cold of her presence in my mind.

"**Gaki!" **I might have been happy, but she was bouncing off of imaginary walls; or else mad. Those were the only reasons she yelled like that. We'd never been separated for that much time before, over twenty-four hours. Maybe that was what had been wrong with my sense of reiatsu, I knew that a lot of my reiatsu was in Tako Hasu; I was dependent on her being for much of my existence. All my memories were stored within her, and that's where I drew my power. I drew my power from them, from my lessons learned, the people I had once known and the people that I now knew.

'_Tako Hasu'_

'_It's good to have you back' _I could feel her smiling.

"**Funny. I was about to say the same thing Gaki-chan" **I looked behind me, and smiled.

"Ja ne Naruto-kun!" I waved, my smile growing wider and wider as I turned around and tied my hiate back over my eyes.

"What's got you so excited?" I blushed.

"I-I'm just glad to be getting back... and to have Tako Hasu back. This is the longest I've ever been separated from her. Thanks for taking care of her" His cheeks turned pink as he turned away.

"N-not a problem. I doubt she liked being carried by me anyway," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"Why wouldn't she? I mean I-" '_love you' _I felt red creep into my cheeks at how I had nearly finished my sentence. Sometimes I forgot that I hadn't told him, it seemed like I had always loved him somehow.

"Yes?" I looked away. Certain that if I met that beautiful turquoise gaze he'd seen the end of my sentence and snatch it from my mind. An irrational fear I knew, but a fear nonetheless.

"N-Nothing" my fingers automatically twiddled around one another in their seemingly never-ending dance of nervous energy. He looked curious, but continued walking forward. I let go of a breath I hadn't been holding, thankful that he hadn't pursued it for once.

"**I actually didn't like it much Gaki-chan, you may be lovesick over him, but I'm certainly not" **Tako Hasu muttered before disappearing into the recesses of my mind. I blinked. It wasn't like her to do that; she was upset about something, but why? I had finally become at ease with my role as shinigami, and finally thought of the Seireitei as my home. Was she annoyed that I had hurt myself for Toushiro's sake? But it could also be something else. We were close to Konoha; maybe she was just unsettled by how close we were to my living body. Or rather the empty shell that looked like me. Or unsettled by how close we could be to Nii-san. Or being carried by someone else wasn't something she ever wanted to experience ever again.

My energy plummeted like a rock as I thought more and more on the reasons she could be upset, and I could barely take notice as my surroundings changed from the breezy forest of Konoha to the darkness of the seikaimon, and finally to the darkness of my room as I nothing short of passed out on my futon without even taking off my uniform, which was undoubtedly dirty. Now that I even thought about it, I was probably filthy and disheveled looking myself, my latent insomnia more obvious now then ever.

"Hinata?" Rukia's voice echoed from outside my door.

"Come in" I was amazed how groggy I sounded. Rukia opened the door and I blinked at the light

"You look like shit," She stated blandly, slipping off her shoes and walking towards me. I smiled.

"Rukia-chan" I didn't even begin to call her Kuchiki this time; I felt tears begin to boil in my eyes as I hugged her.

"Yokata" I'm saying it for the second time today, and I'm not even sure why I'm crying anymore. Because I'm finally back, because Rukia's okay, because I saw Naruto and my world again.

"H-Hinata... what's wrong?" I sniffled.

"I dunno" Rukia nodded and smiled.

"Let's get you cleaned up" She brought in a bowl of water and a cloth and began scrubbing my face, ranting the whole time about how dirty I was and all the bruises I had managed to get over two days time. I smiled through familiar tears.

"Arigato" Rukia stopped scrubbing my cheeks.

"What for?"

"For living through all this" Rukia smiled.

"Your welcome"

"Because I _definitely _wanted to die," She stated sarcastically, rolling her eyes while we both giggled, and I felt more included then I ever had. I was always jealous of Ino and Sakura for the close friendship they shared, I couldn't bring myself to hate them for it, but I also wished that I had it.

"I heard what happened," She stated suddenly.

"That you were thrown into the shinobi continents when you cut through that kido" I nodded.

"I finally saw my world again Rukia-chan" I couldn't help the nostalgia creeping into my voice, or the wide smile that spread across my face.

"Y-your world? You came from the shinobi continents?" I nodded.

"I've heard terrible things about that place Hinata" I blinked.

"Terrible...things?" I echoed. I knew my world wasn't peaceful, but it wasn't terrible either, was it? Some places in the soul society were just as violent right? Rukia just nodded.

"I heard that it's a place where war has raged for untold centuries, and that it only becomes worse as the souls there discover new weapons" Hinata blinked.

"It's not like-"

"Hinata, places don't gain reputations like that for no reason" Her voice was serious.

"It's not like that"

"I can remember times of peace. We try to be peaceful. We really do!" I sounded like a child and I knew it. I could see it in Rukia's eyes; I sounded like a child defending the existence of a monster in the closet.

"Hinata"

"I know," I muttered, bowing my head.

"Get some clean clothing on, I want you to meet some people" I blinked again.

"Who?" She smirked and turned away, giving me some privacy. I wouldn't mind if she looked, since there wasn't all that much to see. We were both girls after all, and girls shouldn't be afraid of their own body's right?

"You'll find out when you get there, so change" I nodded, shedding my kimono and putting on a fresh one. I had forgotten how nice clean clothing felt. It felt fresh and light over my skin, that I knew was covered in dirt despite the fact that Rukia had just washed my arms and face.

"Ready" I called.

"Your hair is a mess!" I felt something settle in my stomach.

"And when your hair is messy..." She began, I sighed.

"You get to play with it." I muttered. I always showed fake dread when Rukia did that, because she always pulled, and since I was tender headed, it hurt much more then Rukia realized, and it was made even more obvious because Hinata had only really needed to comb her hair for about two years. Rukia smiled one of her big smiles, for some reason she loved to brush my hair. Maybe it was the methodical problem solving process of getting the knots out of each section, or perhaps she just liked the full out length of my hair. Or she just liked to kill time that way. My hair after all was long and thick, which meant that it took a long time to get through all the knots on the various layers. It was nice to be with Rukia again, I had missed her so much more then I ever could have realized, or had the courage to express.

"Oi! Are you all still here?" Rukia called inside after she had knocked on the door. A large chorus of affirmative nature came from inside. Rukia opened the door to the teens that I had met at Kukaku-san's. I lingered by the door, my face mostly hidden by the door. I wasn't supposed to be here. I stuck out like a sore thumb, I wasn't human anymore, and I hadn't spent any time among humans like Rukia had. I didn't know them, I didn't belong with them.

"Hinata!" I nearly jumped. But restrained myself so it was just something of a jolt. I wanted to hide behind the door even more now,

"I didn't bring here so you could be your normal self and hide behind whatever is nearest! Get in here!" I gulped gripping the doorframe like I was going to fall into the sky if I let go.

"H-hai" I muttered, knowing that the blush on my face was most likely reaching record deep shades of red.

"This is my Hinata" I bowed much deeper then I needed to.

"V-very nice to meet you" I had to admit; we were both doing a pretty good job of pretending not to know each other.

"There isn't a need to be so formal Hinata-san," The Quincy boy stated. I blushed despite myself, almost wishing that he would call me Hinata-chan again. No one called me that anymore.

"A-ah" I nodded.

"It's n-nice to m-meet you all" I stretched a smile across my face, hoping to god that I didn't look like I did earlier.

"You too Hinata-chan!" Orihime stood up, her hair swaying as she did so.

"I'm Inoue Orihime! Nice to meet you!" She shook my hand vigorously a huge Rin-like (and therefore Naruto-kun-like) smile plastered across her face. I blinked under my hiate.

" What's wrong? You look kind of sad for some reason," She pouted. I felt my cheeks turn red.

"I-it-It's nothing! You just reminded me of someone that's all!"

"Who?" It was an innocent question, but it made me see blank brown behind my eyes.

"An old friend" I said, trying to salvage my smile by thinking of hers. She always made me smile with it. Maybe the memory would help. I wasn't lying to her, Rin was an old friend, and she also reminded me of Naruto, who was an even older friend.

"O-oh. What were they like?" I smiled. That was the one thing I could always say things about. The past.

"Well... They really liked the color orange, and they smiled like you"

"Really! That's so crazy! What if our love of the color orange binds us together in a secret fraternity that's at war with people who like the other colors best!" She paused, looking at me. Orihime was pretty. There wasn't' any denying it, it was both classic and crazy, she had the curves of a model and the long hair. But she had clear storm gray eyes and hair the color of fall leaves and sunsets.

"Do you have a favorite color Hinata-san?" I blushed, my fingers taking up their usual fidgeting and my voice freezing up.

"A-ah... N-not really " She raised her eyebrows

"Really! I've never really thought about it like that!" I blinked.

"Thought about what?" Uyruu cut in.

"Not having a favorite color!" she replied enthusiastically.

"I mean I've always had one, and Hinata-san doesn't so maybe we should help her pick out one!" I blinked.

"I don't think you can really pick out a favorite color Inoue-san," He muttered.

"Oh but you can!" She insisted, pulling out a book with every color imaginable listed in its pages.

"Where did you get that?" Ichigo-kun poked into the conversation.

"Art class"

"You're supposed to return those" he muttered, turning back to whatever he had been doing before.

"That's Kurosaki-kun" Orihime stated. Opening the book, effectively changing the subject. She placed it in front of me.

"Pick a color! Any color!" She put on a show host sort of voice. Like those magicians that made you pick cards out of a deck. I nodded slowly, letting my fingers touch the pages lightly so that I could flip thorough, I flipped through color after color, the exact color of Iruka-sensei's warm brown eyes when he praised us, the color of Naruto's blond hair, of his orange jumpsuit, the color of Kiba's tattoos. So many colors, every time I saw a color that I knew I would pause, and Orihime would always fold the top corner of the page. When I got to the bluing turquoises I stopped.

"Do you like those colors?" Orihime's voice broke through pleasantly.

"I-I guess I do," I said in a non-committal, tone glancing around. Rukia and Ichigo were fighting loudly about something, Chad was sitting quietly, and Ishida was sewing something in blue cloth.

" You guess?"

"I-I mean I like them" I whispered. Orihime smiled.

"Any in particular?" I slowly turned over the reds again. When I was little had worn red pants.

"The reds. When I was little...well. When I was alive, when I was a little girl, I wore red pants" Orihime blinked at my sudden outburst.

"Do you remember your life Hinata-san?" I nodded.

"I remember lots of things"

"Really? What was it like?" I smiled. I wanted to talk, and she wanted to listen, so eager, so human. So alive.

"Well... I had a little sister" Orihime nodded, a soft sad look coming over her eyes.

"H-huh? Wh-what? D-did I say something-"

"I had an older brother, but he died"

"I-I'm sorry" I knew it really didn't mean much. But I didn't know what to say otherwise. I was so selfish, talking all about myself when I could be listening to her stories. That wasn't fair to her.

"No. I know he's in the soul society now... So I'm not sad"

"**What a liar" **I frowned at Tako Hasu.

"I just feel bad for her"

"Y-You mean Hanabi?" Orihime's face brightened again.

"Is that her name?" I nodded.

"Y-yes"

"I feel kind of bad for her. I felt so sad when Oniichan died" I shook my head.

"She's probably eight or nine by now. After awhile she won't remember a thing about me" how little emotion was in my own voice annoyed me to no end. How could I just let go of my little sister? My Hanabi. How could I just let her go like that? Sure she wouldn't remember much about me, but...But maybe she'd remember something. Anything. Maybe she'd remember playing games with me so that she would eat her breakfast.

"She liked red to"

"Is that why you like it?" I shook my head. Hanabi wasn't why I liked red.

"It was one of the last colors I saw" _blood. I could see red blood; feel it burst from my throat. _

"But please. We shouldn't spend all this time talking about me!" I felt my mouth fall a little bit at the corners as I tried to smile.

"What's the real world like?" Orihime's smile faded into a content pout.

"Hmm. Well its much more modern then here, and there are a lot more western style houses" I nodded. I knew a little bit about western buildings. Not a lot, but enough to get a vague idea of how they were set up.

"I go to school most days, except for the summer"

"Y-you still go to school?" I can't help but be surprised. After thirteen when one passed the exam, you never had to go back to school.

"You don't?" I shook my head.

"W-well, in the Soul Society we have the shinigami academy, and after you graduate you never have to go back... and when I was alive we had something similar, so I stopped going to school when I was thirteen. I kind of miss it sometimes"

"Oh... We're pretty much in one type of school or another until we're in our mid twenties. Or even later if we decide to go into certain professions" I blinked.

"Really?" She nodded. And so it went. Casual banter, learning about worlds so separate. It was so strange to think that girls of this other world would never consider taking a life as something that _had_ to be done to pay the bills, but rather something that was far away, years and years into the past.

"Your world seems wonderful Orihime-san" I smiled.

"Your world to. Despite the wars, it still seems wonderful" her smile was identical to mine. One of longing.

"Do you miss home?" She asked suddenly. I nodded.

"That's why you keep the headband right?" She smiled widely.

"You see these hairpins?" I nodded again.

"My Oniichan gave me these as a gift for my birthday, and I never take them off"

"To remember him?" Orihime nodded.

"I don't think Neji-niisan ever gave me a gift" Orihime blinked.

"Never? I don't believe that!" She called a big determined pout on her face. I shook my head.

"I have no memories of my birthday in general "

"When _is_ your birthday?" Rukia sat down next to me, apparently having finished up her fight with Ichigo.

"A-An-ano the t-twenty seventh"

"Of?" I blushed.

"December" The smiles that crossed Rukia and Orihime's faces filled me with dread. Ideas were nearly visible as they rushed past their eyes.

"W-what?" Their smiles grew wider.

"We are most defiantly throwing a birthday party for you next year," they stated in unison, leaving no room for argument. But then again, I'd always been one for arguing useless cases

"T-There really isn't a need t-"

"Of course there is!" Orihime had that determined pout on her face again. Just like Rin. I gave in.

"Maybe" I looked out the widow. It was late. Much later then I expected.

"You have patrol" Rukia stated I nodded.

"Have fun. I don't understand why you take the night shift so often. You're only going to stunt your growth" Rukia muttered as I ran out the door.

"Thank you for having me!" I called as I hopped on to the street and began to run my route. This was what I wanted. Being home only solidified that; I was not scared of being a shinigami, or of building a life here. I wasn't scared.

"**Keep telling yourself that" **Tako Hasu whispered, not doubtful of my thoughts, but rather reinforcing them. I wasn't going to stop by squad ten today. Toushiro was in squad four, and though he would probably be back within a week or so, he wouldn't be there tonight. And I didn't mind. Not in the slightest.

_Okay! This chapter is finally done! I hope you guys liked it! I feel like this is another late update, but I kind of am caught up in a contest for the Hinata shipping group on Deviant Art, so I'm hoping to get that submitted to the contest and put it up on here as well. It's Alfons Heidrich and Hyuuga Hinata again, but hey. I think they're extremely cute together! And I might do some KiraHinata, and hopefully a little bit of HitsuHinata if the inspirations for such apiece strike me._


	34. Guilt and Headaches

_Welcome to chapter thirty-five! I can barely believe that this story has been going on for so long, but apparently it has! This is probably a little late, but I had a project that I had to work on for history so I couldn't really write as much and my history teacher is super strict when it comes to the content, and order of content in his projects, so he found a million things wrong with everything, and I mean a million. He found something wrong with everyone's project in every single class that he has, and he made me redo my part of the project at least three times. We weren't even supposed to split up the project like that, but we did anyway because doing every single part with four people working on it would just be chaos. That and I burned the index and pointer fingers so it's kinda hard to type (as well as do pretty much everything else) since it hurts to move them around (they're all better now though). HOLY CRAP! I was just watching Law and Order Special Victims Unit, and you know that episode with the girls riding on the carousel in the beginning? I've ridden on that carousel before! It's not even a mile from my house, and I always used to go there when I was a kid! And I rode with my little cousin just last spring, after visiting the zoo with her (her favorites were the meerkats) it's in the park that's only like three or four blocks from my house! :) I'm very very hyper about that... I love that carousel, but they were kind of inaccurate since I don't think it's open in the fall, and cars aren't usually on the road where the girl gets run over... OH WELL! That's my neighborhood folks!_

_So anyways, here's what you guys are here for! The story!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Naruto. _

_Toushiro's point of view_

I hated squad four. Not the people, but the place itself. It was a hospital in essence and I couldn't stand hospitals. They were for people that couldn't carry their own weight. Sure Hinata had healed me most of the way, but I still had to stay in squad four for a day or two to make sure that I didn't get an infection of some type. Lying around all day was boring, and no one really visited me to make the time pass quicker. I'm pretty sure that it was the only advantage of being social. An advantage that I had only stumbled upon now, when it would actually be of use. I sighed; this was actually one of my first times in squad four. I had been there before of course, injuries were a part of being a shinigami; but I'd never been in the intense care ward. I sighed. I wish at least Hinata could visit me. But she wouldn't, she was much smarter then that, and on top of it had work to do, and would probably want to visit Kuchiki. They were best friends after all.

Best friends. I could feel Hinamori's reiatsu from somewhere else in the same ward, but it was faint. So very faint because of me. All because of me. Because I hadn't been able to protect her again.

"Hitsugaya Taicho" Unohana's voice echoed from the door. I nodded.

"You'll be released at the end of the day. I assume that you would like to visit Hinamori-san?" I nodded. Unohana smiled and handed me my uniform. Which mercifully had been cleaned and repaired while I had been bedridden. I bowed slightly.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Unohana-san" She smiled.

"I'll be back in a little bit, and I'll show you where Hinamori-san is" I nodded as she left and closed the door. I sighed again, shedding the hospital yukata and putting on my normal clothing. It was nice to have something other then white on. I didn't like the color much, especially not when it was on my clothing and the walls and floor. It was strange since my own hair was white, and it was the color of purity, which people are inclined to like, but I just couldn't conjure up much affection for the color. It was impractical, and got stained by absolutly everything. Even if it was the color of snow. But snow was easily marred, if it be with footprints or blood or the up-chuck of a drunk. Yet another thing I hated about squad four. It gave me unparalleled amounts of time to think, which caused me to run out of facts and riddles to amuse myself with, which made me think about everything pessimistic in the world.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho" I nodded, following Unohana. I was almost scared of what I was about to see. I had been informed that she was in stable condition, but they hadn't elaborated. I swallowed, willing myself to not tremble.

"Here's Hinamori-san's room" I opened the door, squeezing my eyes against tears. Pale. She was so pale and fragile, kept alive by beeping machines that breathed for her.

"Won't you say something to her?" I shook my head.

"I...I currently have nothing to say to her" I muttered, leaving the room. I couldn't look at her like that; I could speak to her as if my words could bring her back. Because they couldn't. I hadn't anything to say to someone who couldn't reply. Not that I would be able to talk to her if she could reply. I wouldn't have been able to put my feelings into any sort of comprehensible sentence. I could tell that much. I would have talked for hours and hours if I had managed even one word. I would have spilled out everything to someone who couldn't speak, and couldn't listen. And there was no point in that...was there? Especially when he had someone that _would_ listen, and _could_ respond. Hinata. I had to see her, not now of course. But today, I needed to see her today.

_Hinata's point of view_

' _Tako Hasu' I_ sighed. She hadn't been talking to me as of late. I knew she was there, and I could feel somewhere deep inside of my head that she was scheming, and she was nit picking through my memories, especially the ones about my mother. I hadn't a clue what she was looking for, but it wasn't like I could tell her to stop, they were her memories too after all, she had just as much of a right to look at them as I did. I was glad that I only had my patrol left to do today. The side effects of Tako Hasu's fine combing of my memories were several unpleasant flash backs that I couldn't control, and necessitated me running to some close alleyway so that I could ride out the worst of it and compose myself, and a whole lot of headaches. And not average headaches either, ones that made it feel as if my head had split open at the seams and each one was worse then the last. Was it because each attack left behind a residue, instead of dulling me to the pain? A dull ache droned a quick note through my skull each time my feet touched the floor. I could feel Toushiro's reiatsu back at tenth squad today; I smiled lightly as my feet tapped down on the roof. Twin bursts of aching fluttered against my temples. I groaned aloud, sitting with my head in between my knees, hoping the pressure on my temples would relieve the quiet escalating ache that was foretelling that Tako Hasu was once again poking around in old memories.

"You know, groaning like that on a roof top could be taken many ways" She couldn't see his smirk, and he couldn't see her blush through the long pause in their conversation

"Nata?" he sounded worried now. I lifted my head. I didn't want him to worry over me.

"Hai?"

"I...I've missed you" he stated quietly I leaned into him.

"Me too" Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch... Damn. That hurt, maybe moving so suddenly wasn't a good idea.

"Hinata... Are you feeling okay?" I smiled.

"Just a headache. Tako Hasu has been poking around in my-" I gasped. Shit. Not now. Not in front of him.

'_Tako Hasu! What are you doing?' _

"**What I have to" **

"Nata? T-this isn't from...From healing me right?" I shook my head, gripping him tightly.

"No. Tako Hasu... is... Just poking around. In my memories" I bit my lip.

"I-it's just a... headache" Toushiro just averted his eyes, holding me closer.

"I-I visited Hinamori" Toushiro whispered. I tried to ignore the headache. He needed me right now; I couldn't be absorbed in something else. He was always wiling to leave behind anything he wanted to talk about, or anything he wanted to do, to talk with me. To be with me when I needed it, I had to do the same. It was only fair.

"I...I've never seen her like that" I closed my eyes, hugging him closer then before as my headache died into a subtle pulse. I took a shaky breath, not wanting to imagine the Momo-chan that he saw.

"It's my fault. I-I should have gotten there earlier! I-if I hadn't listened to Kira- If I hadn't fallen for- maybe... maybe she'd... Maybe she wouldn't be injured like she is"

"I couldn't protect her... Or you" I blinked. Releasing him so that I could see all of him instead of just his soft white hair.

"Me?" He nodded.

"Toushiro... What do you mean? I'm not injured"

"Your shoulder...If it wasn't for me being stupid, you wouldn't have gotten hurt like that"

"You make it sound like I took on a fatal injury for your sake Toushiro" I smiled, trying to show him that I was okay. That he didn't need to worry over me. I wasn't a rukon brat, I wasn't an academy student. I was a full-fledged Shinigami now, and capable of protecting _myself_. As much as I loved him, I couldn't stand it when he got like this. When he blamed himself for everything possible, unwilling to share the burden or the blame with anyone else. He tortured himself out of stupidity and a unique male type of pride.

"No. You just took on half of one" I nodded.

"There isn't any shame in sharing burden that you cannot bear" He looked away.

"There is shame in it... I hurt you because I couldn't take care of myself. I won't let it happen again" I frowned. He gripped the opening of my kimono, pulling it just slightly.

"W-what-What are you-" I didn't know how much more I could take before I fainted from embarrassment.

"Are there any scars from...From that wound?" I nodded.

"They aren't bad" His eyes fell to the roof tiles.

"Let me see" I wasn't even sure if the little sound that came out of my mouth could be considered a squeak.

"E-e-excu-cuse me?" His cheeks are irresistibly pink, and part of me really wants to kiss him, and just let him use me to forget Hinamori. Whatever he wanted with me, a mother, a sister, a lover. I didn't care which, as long as he wanted me in general.

"Please"

"O-okay" I was shaking, nervous, scared out of my wits. To be so exposed to him... to want to be exposed to him, it was so confusing! Where the hell had my sanity even gone during all of this? Sure the air was warm, but I still felt strangely cold. Toushiro's hand was cold, tracing across my scar. It really wasn't that bad. Just a pale pink mark that would disappear at some point.

"See? I told you it wasn't bad" I tried to act normal despite the hefty blush that painting my ace red. He smiled softly.

"I guess not" he conceded, helping my to put my kimono top back into it's proper place.

"S-sorry about that you looked pretty...uncomfortable" I just smiled.

"I don't care about it. You saw me without a shirt on when you found me by the river back...back home" He blinked.

"Home huh? You still think of that place as home?" I frowned. Nodding.

"Of course. I was born there"

"You've lived here for two years"

"True..."

"This is my home too" I assured him, holding onto his hand.

"Good to hear" He kissed me lightly in the first time in what seemed like ages.

"Toushiro?" He nodded,

"I..." I trailed off. How the hell was I supposed to say this? What if he didn't even like me back? What if this was just physical, and he just liked kissing me, and looking at me, and didn't care how I felt? What if he was stringing me along, and laughing at how devoted I was?

"Yes?" I looked away.

"Nata. You've been trying to say something to me for over three days. Spit it out, whatever it is" I sighed. Now or never. If I couldn't say this now, I was never going to let myself see him ever again. That was that.

"I-I"

"I love you"

_AND CUT! Yes. I just did that. Major cliff right there. Don't fall off! Cause I don't want to see my readers as pancakes on the bottom. As usual, read and review my wonderful readers! DESPITE THE SHORTNESS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!_


	35. The L word and A Mission

_Hey everyone! Happy late Halloween! Quick question, what were you guys for Halloween? For anime club's anime themed Halloween party I was Anna from shaman king since I already had a black dress that my sister left behind when she went off to college and then I got a red scarf from the ninety nine cent store by my house and then after school I tied it around my head (we aren't allowed to do this during school hours as a precaution against gangs) and it looked like Anna's red bandana. So my cosplay costume cost a grand total of cheap... I think the scarf was like... two or three dollars tops. But either way for real Halloween, I was a barefoot gypsy that sort of looks like a pirate. (Don't ask... it's just when I put on my stuff, I looked like a pirate, but I was also a gypsy) I got a lot of my hair cut off just now, and it looks really awesome! My hair used to go to just below boob length, and now it doesn't even touch my shoulders... It's so light and swooshy! _

_Also. A boy in my math and gym class who I'll call Frohawk was talking to me during gym, cause they kept us inside even though it was sunny out (we usually go outside) and he was like "Oh, it's because they're hearing shit about blood and crip initiations, and them cutting girls, so they just wanna be careful" (um, not exactly what he said, but close. I'm pretty sure I used something close to his way of speaking) but either way, it is kind of scary... I mean, I'm a girl, and though I live in a safe area, but I also like walking around at night if I'm out late enough, especially in the park, so I can't help but worry a bit. Frohawk also said for me to watch myself, and be careful, which makes me squee on the inside, cause Frohawk's really cute (to me) and he's so nice. In fact, the first non-douchey asshole that I've ever felt attracted to. I'm serious about being a douche magnet. I made up a song about it to the tune of Grease Lightning! Wow... I just ranted didn't I? I'm sorry to subject you all to that. Here's what you actually came here for. _

_Toushiro's point of view_

"I-I"

"I love you" I blinked. Then I blinked again, and again, and again. There was no way. None at all. Hinata couldn't love me. She couldn't! All I ever did was hurt her, depend on her, sucking away at her like a leech. Always expecting her to understand, and make time for me. But... she just said that she did... and had been trying to say so for days on end now.

"You're...Lying?" I almost regretted my words as tears bubbled up in her eyes.

"No" she whispered.

"_I love you" _her face is so desperate, so begging. And it's crazy how lovely those whispered syllables sound to me, they sound to good to be true, to beautiful for life. Such words had never been a part of my universe, and I had always believed they never would. And yet... and yet there they were. Rearing their heads like a cruel mirage of caring. Words that I had confined to dreamland were breaking into reality. They seemed harsher now, no longer fuzzy with unknown details.

"Am I dreaming?" I muttered, absentmindedly playing with her hair.

"No" she whispered. Now I could feel her tears slipping over my fingers like drops of silk.

"D-d-do you love me?" she stated, hesitant but firm.

"I'm..."

"I have no idea...if what I feel is love"

"Kami knows" I chuckled lightly

"You deserve much better then me" I muttered

"And Kami knows I haven't a clue what love is" I felt my voice become clearer and I could feel her stiffen under my hands, and something told me that maybe...just maybe that was the worst possible thing that I could've said in such a situation.

"I-I can't..." her words were rushed.

" I can't do this" she sounded like she was coaking her grip on my wrist was crushing.

"H-How can you look at me l-like you do?" she questioned, her entire body shook.

"H-how c-can you s-s-say what you say?" her voice cracked

"K-k-kiss me like y-you do?" a sob whispered from her throat

"And still have n-n-no idea?" her voice cracked for the second time

"If you d-don't love m-me..." she whispered, her grip on my wrist loosening

"Just say so" she finished brokenly

"I've never loved before...But..." I wanted to be careful with her. I really did! But she made it so hard. She was so alluring, soft hair that never seemed to be out of place, if it be up in a pony tail, or flowing over them both, hiding them in a curtain of midnight. Skin like a blushing moon, crazy curves of undeveloped hips and full breasts, lips and eyes so wide with innocent imagination that was sometimes not so innocent. And sometimes he wanted to just kiss her until she couldn't feel where her body ended and mine began, I wanted her, every part of her, past present and future. But that want... was it the same as love? Or underdeveloped lust?

"I...I think...I think that this is what it is supposed to feel like" I stated quietly

I smiled at her. Maybe it wasn't love. But I couldn't bring myself to break her heart. Because if I didn't love her, I certainly cared for her more deeply then anyone else, and I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I tore out her heart in such a way. She smiled despite tears rushing down her face. What a strange feeling, light and confusing and jumpy and relaxing.

"Nata" I whispered. She nuzzled against my head.

"Gomen ne" She whispered.

"I...I know..."

"I know that w-wasn't what you n-needed right now" I shook my head. I had no idea what I needed, but this wasn't bad. Not at all. Maybe it wasn't what I needed. But it was welcome anyways. She was welcome anyways. If anything this was asking for trouble. Love was frowned upon, and taicho's were forbidden from them unless they had to for clan matters. Such an exception didn't apply to us. We never should have met, and yet we were in love. I kissed her cheeks lightly, trying to drink up the tears that I knew that I had caused, yet could not feel so guilty about. She giggled a little bit.

"T-that tickles" I smiled, wrapping my arms around her waist, burying myself against her pulse. Wanting to badly for the rest of my life to be this moment, Quietness and her, folded around me like a blanket, I wasn't sure if I was crying, or if I just felt like crying. I needed her. Where I had once just hugged myself, curled away into my mind, trying to imagine a scent and an embrace, trying to imagine just what this stupid emotion called love was, and why I couldn't feel it. Why I could only hurt the people I wanted to protect, why things got better for people once I was out of the equation. I told myself that I didn't need love, that my heart was too cold, and my pride too much for me ever to search for that stupid feeling that I couldn't find. But now... Now I wanted it; wanted her so badly to just be there.

"I have no idea what I need"

"You're the best I have"

"I want you here with me" I whispered. I averted my eyes from Hinata's crimson blush, but felt her nod, and with that I was content with. Hinata wasn't one to overstate what she felt. In fact it took a lot for her to state her true feelings at all. Like me. Even after I had been assured a confession with no rejection I had hesitated. I had honestly thought that she would slap me. Hate me. I had thought her words were deception, that they were part of a dream. That I was secretly dead, and this was a cruel vision. And it took a lot, even now to convince myself that it wasn't.

"Goodnight...I l-love you" She whispers, her voice so soft. I nod, kissing her lips lightly.

"Tomorrow" She smiled.

"Of course"

**TIME SKIP: ONE MONTH**

_Hinata's point of view_

"We head out in a week" Toushiro stated, his voice carefully professional

"Hyuuga do you understand your mission?" I nodded.

"This is your first mission as a substitute Fukutaicho. Don't mess it up, or you_ will_ be sorry" I nodded again, even when Toushiro was pretending to be strict with me; I still found it scary, taking a deep breath. A couple of weeks ago, Rangiku-san had requested leave so that she could devote her time to training her bankai, which meant that she needed a replacement, a job that she recommended me for. Matsumoto was coming on this mission too, but officially I was the fukutaicho of tenth squad. So far my promotion had gone well enough. Matsumoto had told the squad only my name before leaving, and that I was even shorter the Toushiro, but didn't mind people commenting on it as much. She had left the rest of the introduction to me.

"_A-as M-Matsumoto-fukutaicho said, m-my name is Hyuuga Hinata. I'm g-going to be your Fukutaicho from now on, s-so I hope that we c-can get to know each other well" I bowed as deeply as I could. _

"_With all due respect Hyuuga-Fukutaicho...There isn't a need to be so formal with us. You rank above us remember?" I blushed. _

"_If there i-isn't a need for me to be formal with you all, then d-don't be formal with me. P-please just call me F-fukutaicho, o-or better yet Hinata" I smiled, it felt shaky, but it was there wasn't it? _

I smiled again, signing off on yet more paperwork that Matsumoto left behind, glad that my new squad liked me well enough, maybe they had been yelled at by Matsumoto to be nice to me beforehand, but I didn't really care. It had been a long time since I had felt affection like that towards my comrades instead of quiet isolation, so even if it was fake, I was eating it up, and holding it closely. Paper work was tedious, and sometimes it bordered on downright confusing, but I had to finish it. The most recent forms on her pile had been due a day ago, and I didn't want to think about how late the ones that I had yet to get to were. I had gone through at least three cups of tea in hopes that it would help keep me awake, but after four in the morning, nothing much was going to keep me awake for much longer.

I yawned finally placing the proper information and my signature on the last of the documents. I guess it was probably too late to go back to my quarters now, since I had only about three or four more hours left for sleep. I sighed, laying my head on the couch. I was almost better off not sleeping at all, but I couldn't ignore the darkness that beckoned to me as I blew out the lamp that I had been working by.

_Okay... Yet another not so amazing and pretty short chapter... But I'm going to try and redeem myself during the arrancar arc. These in between spaces are killing me, but I think I did okay here. I meant to spend more time on how messed up Toushiro's psyche was after what happened to Momo, but I suppose I can elaborate on that later right?_


	36. Rumors And The First Day

_Hey guys! Welcome to chapter thirty-seven of "Change Came But I Had To Die First"! First off, you guys rock the world's fuzzy socks, cause this story has reached nearly three hundred reviews! Thank you for all the love an support! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Another note on the awesomeness of love and support, my friend Batman sent this to his girlfriend, who goes to boarding school in China. (Random right? The funny thing is that they met at my camp. They are so cute together!) anywho, this is what he sent __我__爱__你__，__妇__女比世界上任何__. I put it into google translate cause I was curious as to what it meant. Here's the translation __**I love you, more women than any in the world.**__ This probably isn't the best translation, considering it doesn't really make grammatical sense in English, but you get the gist of it right? I guess if I were to change around the order of words to make it grammatically correct it would be I love you more then any woman in the world. Sweet straight guys DO exist! I thought they were just legends! ** Sobs in a corner on account of the fact that I'm single... and my last boyfriend was an epic douche-face***_

_Another thing that I randomly stumbled upon. I found an anime character who is pretty creepily similar to me... And I mean really creepily similar. Who is this creepily similar anime character? Meene from shaman king! Check this out! Meene: Dirty blonde hair that curls up just above the shoulder and parts in the middle, green eyes, kind of motherly, shy and pretty loyal, who is Canadian, more specifically from Montreal. Me: Dirty blonde hair that curls up just above the shoulder and parts in the middle. Blue-green eyes, a little bit motherly, and shy, decently loyal and a second-generation immigrant from Canada whose family hails from Quebec (this is where Montréal is located)... I do believe I've found my anime parallel. We also have kind of similar physiques. Except I'm not quite as tall her. Either way. I love her.. Like a lot. She's awesome. Should I write, a mother daughterish sort of Hinata/Meene one-shot? Cause I'm writing MosukeHinata one-shot. I'm just writing a lot of shaman king Hinata right now. _

_Second, I'm sorry that this update is so late, but I've had a lot of stuff to do because of the holidays. Buying presents and writing stuff for contests and such has been taking time away from this story, and for that I'm sorry. It's just that this doesn't have a deadline, unlike contest entries. third, I'm going to try using third person for this chapter instead of my normal first person, so please bear with it if you don't like it! _

_And fourth... This one is going to upset people, but I went out for SING which is basically a student run/written musical, and I'm in it... and the rehearsal schedule is a douesy. Here it is. _

_12/13 - 12/14 = auditions 2:45 - 6:00 pm_

_1/ 3 - 1/ 7 = rehearsal 2:45-5:00 pm _

_Sat 1/ 8 = 10:00 am - 4:00 pm _

_1/ 10 - 1/ 14 = 2:45 - 5:30 _

_Sat 1/ 15 = 10:00 am - 4:00 pm _

_1/ 18 - 1/ 21 = 2:45 - 6:00 pm _

_1/ 24 = 2:45 - 6:00 pm_

_1/ 25 - 1/ 28 = 9:00 am - 7:00 pm _

_1/ 31= 9:00 am - 7:00 pm _

_2/ 1 - 2/ 3 = 2:45 - 8:00pm_

_Performance on 2/ 4 - 2/ 5 _

_As you can see, very much jam-packed. Which means that after the Christmas break your dear Tsu-chan is going to be working herself to the bone just keeping up with her school work, and hence isn't going to have much time for fanfiction. The most you can expect of me is the sporadic completion of long in progress one shots, but I'm __**not **__committing myself to any new chapters after the Christmas break. _

_I'm really sorry, but it's just not going to be possible. It takes me thirty or forty minutes to get to school, so I'm going to be getting home at seven, eight and even nine o'clock some nights, which means I have to dive straight into homework, and then probably have maybe a half hours computer time before I have to sleep, which will probably be spent listening to music, checking my E-mail, deviantart and facebook, and maybe ten or fifteen or minutes at most dedicated to writing. _

_A fifth funny thing about my scatterbrainedness. I managed to accidently cut class. Yes you read that right. Not only did your somewhat goody two shoes Tsukihime Nee cut class, she did it by __**accident**__.. how is this possible? Well, after my third period class (C-band) I went to the library because fourth period (D-band) is my free period, and the librarian checked my program, and said okay, come in. I __**repeat **__she __**did not **__tell me to go away. But your silly authoress forgot that there isn't any D-band on Thursday since her school works strangely! And so, she went up to her class then when she saw no one there she asked someone what band it was, and they replied that it was F-band. So, quick quiz. What is between D and F? That's right. E... I accidently skipped global history, this kind of sucks cause my teacher assigned an essay, so without the lesson, or notes this is going to be kind of hard. I just went and screwed myself over didn't I?... EPIC FAILURE NUMERAL UNE_

I just got sent out for milk, eggs and onions. We just got hit with a huge snow-storm, and there are knee deep snow drifts on my block. FML moment right there. EPIC FAILURE NUMERAL DUEX

And by the by

MERRY CHRISTMAS/HANUKAH/KWANZA/WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS THAT YOU CELEBRATE AT THIS TIME OF YEAR!

And an early HAPPY TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN!

_third person point of view_

" Hinata-Fukutaicho...Finished all of it" Needless to say, the members of squad ten were impressed with their new fukutaicho, who was currently slumped over on the coffee table, a cold cup of tea just out of her reach seemingly unconscious.

"Is there a reason you all are gathered outside of my office?" The cold voice of Hitsugaya Toushiro cut through the murmurs of amazement.

"F-fukutaicho finished all of Matsumoto-Fukutaicho's paperwork sir" One brave officer offered.

"I see. You are all dismissed" That phrase they knew was code for 'get the out of my sight right now before I kill you' when it came to their... vertically challenged Taicho. Said vertically challenged Taicho sighed when he was greeted by the sight of Hyuuga Hinata, the woman whom he had just confessed his love to not even a month ago so cutely dozing, her cheek pressed against a stray piece of paper. The sigh wasn't a sad one, or even an annoyed one, though the casual observer might not notice it, the sigh that had issued from the "cold" tenth squad taicho was a happy one.

"Wake up" He stated, still trying to sound professional. Hinata groaned, lifting her head, and revealing a major case of bed-head that Toushiro couldn't help but sweat drop and raise a solitary silver eyebrow at.

"You have a piece of paper stuck to your face" Toushiro stated dully. Hinata blinked, the blush that he thought would bubble up through her cheeks absent. The paper fluttered to the table and Hinata groaned, sipping some tea, and grimacing when she felt the cold liquid flow down her throat, which served to remind her that she really didn't like cold tea.

"You've had better mornings?" Toushiro muttered, Hinata nodded as she yawned. Toushiro smiled.

"Go back to sleep. You seem to need the rest" Hinata smiled back, gathering her hair into a sort of messy half bun before picking through a stack of paper, and pulling out various documents, which formed quite a stack on their own.

"I'll be fine Hitsugaya-taicho" she stated calmly, straightening out the stack that she had compiled.

"I assume those need my signature?" She nodded, handing the documents over with an apologetic smile.

"While I sign these, you can work on today's papers" Toushiro placed the papers on his own desk as he handed her a substantially larger load. He smirked lightly at the expression of joking dread on her face.

"Hai" Hinata mumbled, pushing away completed stacks to make room for the new work. Toushiro couldn't help the light chuckle that escaped him at her determined set of her shoulders as she began to write the specified information on the annoying pieces of paper before setting to work on the documents on his own desk. Admittedly signing his own name wasn't all that hard, and he was rather used to having a far larger stack of work on his desk, but the day seemed to pass by far more quickly then usual.

Toushiro liked the silence that was draping itself around the office like a blanket. It wasn't the normal type of silence. The lonely type of silence that reigned since usually he was the only one in there. But today he wasn't, and even though they weren't having any sort of verbal conversation, he liked the feel of her reiatsu and the way she would stretch and yawn quietly every once in a while, and despite anything he might say to the contrary he really liked the company. He liked the way that her head would suddenly snap up when she dozed off accidently, and he liked the light rustling as she moved or stretched her feet so they wouldn't fall asleep.

"You realize you have your own office don't you?" he had absolutely no idea as to why he was saying anything that could possibly drive his lavender eyed lover out of the room was completely beyond him. Another thing that was completely beyond the brain of the supposedly cold hearted, and definitely hot headed taicho was the fact that he could refer to the beautiful former shinobi and current shinigami as a lover.

"N-No... I wasn't aware Hitsugaya Taicho" Hinata blinked shyly.

"Complete with a desk and a chair" He stated dryly.

"I think I'll stay. It's rather comfortable in here Hitsugaya-Taicho" and so the ocassional silence returned. Toushiro smiled. It was a small smile, but anyone who knew him would have had a heart attack if they saw it, for he was not the type of person to smile in public, or in the presence of a girl for that matter. A lightly blushing, very tired looking girl at that. Hinata stood, making sure to be quiet so as to not disturb Toushiro who was completely absorbed in his work. She couldn't help but smile at how damned cute he was when his turquoise eyes were scanning papers like that.

She picked up her teacup, which was still filled with her cold tea from last night. Hinata went to the squad's kitchen. No one was in there since it was about two in the afternoon. Too late for lunch for most, but not yet time for an afternoon snack. For Hinata it was perfect timing since she hadn't eaten since the night before, and since she figured that Toushiro probably hadn't eaten today either she decided to prepare something for the both of them. It was rather lucky that someone had left some rice over from either a morning or an afternoon meal, which meant that Hinata only had to wait for water for tea to boil while she shaped the rice into triangles. Hinata breathed in, letting the scent of the tea that she had poured into two cups take her over. After all this time it was still soothing to her. Her mother had always given her green tea with her meals, and especially if she was sick.

And to this day, Hinata couldn't help but loose herself in the scent sometimes. The taste wasn't her favorite, but since that was the only type of tea that her mother would ever allow her to drink even if Hinata had been brave enough to ask for something different she moved past the taste and tried to focus on more pleasant things, like how the sunlight angled through the windows, and the little smile and the grunted thanks that Toushiro sent her as she set a cup of tea and an onigiri next to him.

"Y-you're welcome" Hinata replied quietly, taking her own tea to the low table, and finishing off the documents on her desk. Now all that was left was to deliver them. Hinata let out a huff of air. This was obviously going to take several trips, but that was all she did. There wasn't anything that huffing and puffing was going to do about the huge stacks of papers that vexed her. If anything it'd just blow one piece of paper from the top and make her job just the tiniest bit harder. And with that thought in mind she took one stack into her arms, the top of the stack held by her chin, forcing her to look slightly upwards.

"Would you like some help with that Hyuuga-fukutaicho?" A female officer stated curiously, looking down on the fukutaicho.

"T-that's fine! I wouldn't want to distract you from your duties" Hinata smiled as brightly as she could while still having her mouth closed, since an open lipped smile made her look exceedingly childish.

"Nonsense Hyuuga-Fukutaicho! Part of my duty is to help you" Hinata blushed slightly.

"O-of course... I'm not quite used to being a superior officer" Hinata apologized as the officer took a share of the papers.

"That's fine. You're barely even used to being a shinigami from what I've heard. It took me a solid decade to get used to being able to order people around" The officer smiled at Hinata, who smiled back shyly.

"A-and p-please, call me Hinata" Hinata said shyly.

"I couldn't Fukutaicho. It'd be disrespectful"

"Would it?" The officer nodded, and Hinata smiled lightly.

"Perhaps your right. I shouldn't force you to do something that you think is disrespectful. I apologize" The officer smiled uneasily.

"I hope you'll forgive me for asking this, but there are a lot of rumors surrounding you Fukutaicho" Hinata felt her expression drop instantly.

"I see... Do you care to tell me a couple so that I can shine some light on it?" The officer gulped.

"Well... ah... People wonder what's under your headband" the officer stated nervously.

"My eyes are under there of course. what other rumors are there?" Hinata let a look of good humor cross her face.

"No other valid ones Hyuuga-Fukutaicho" The officer stated quickly as they both put their stacks down into the box where outgoing papers went. Hinata frowned slightly.

"Thank you for your help" Hinata stated pleasantly, and the officer nodded and left. Hinata sighed, of course there were going to still be rumors. There were always rumors, there were rumors when she was alive, when she was in the rukon, the shinigami academy, and when she had become a shinigami. Why would they stop now? At least the rumors were actually about her, and not about Neji, and at least she in a high enough position that people would think twice before beating her up which was better then getting beat up for being something she wasn't. It would have almost have been better if she had been like Neji. Too strong to get beat up, but that's when it hit Hinata. Now she was like Neji, or at least, that was what people thought. She was the cold, prodigal, rookie. The one no one wanted to go near for fear of getting his or her head snapped off. Maybe it was slightly better in squad ten because she had stuttered and tried to be more friendly when she had introduced herself, but from looking at the expression on the officers face, rumors still endured.

Okay… I just really needed to get this one out of my hair. It's not particularly good I know, but… BLAH…..


	37. Kurakura And The Beginning of Anger

_Hey everyone! Yeah. It's been awhile, but our team did win SING, so all those rehersals (which kept me from writing) paid off. The show was amazing! I lost my voice for about a week but, it was totally worth it! and plus, I got to keep my costume! It's a basic scoop neck sun-dress sorta deal, white with pink kinda sparkly stripes. All I need to do to make it a night gown is cut it a bit shorter since it's past my knee's, hem it, and perhaps sew a ribbon or something to hide where it cinches at the waist. Either way. yeah... this is chapter thirty eight, and we're skipping ahead to Karakura... cause I'm lazy. _

_I'm such a terrible author sometimes. I haven't updated in almost three months now, and now I'm being lazy about this. Sumimasen Minna-sama. I've been thinking about doing some revision for the earlier chapters, but I think a new chapter is kinda due for this. I don't get how you guys put up with this, but I'm grateful that you do, because you guys are amazing. _

_I also noticed that this story has more then three hundred reviews. _

_HO-LY_

_SHIT_

_Okay, you all just went from amazingly paitent, to mother ducking awesome. In all ceralness. You guys are THE BEST! Your encouraging words, and wonderful advice got me through last year and all it's shitiness, and honestly, I'm so glad that you've all been caring enough to deal with my stupidity. _

_I'm sorry. Shaman king sucked me in and it's not letting go despite the fact that it's only sixty-four episodes,all of which I've watched. But that isn't an excuse. not by a long shot. At first life delayed me, but it's been three months since my last update, and that's inexcusable. This is a full length story and by God I intend to finish it!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or Bleach. _

_Hitsugaya's point of view_

Hitsugaya wasn't really one to take things out of proportion, but honestly, if Madarame, Yumichika, and Matsumoto didn't stop yelling at each other soon, there was going to be hell to pay. At least Hinata was trying to calm them down, though without much success. Toushiro frowned even more. Not only was he stuck with two squad eleven brutes on his team, but now the humans that went to the school were starting to stare at them. Toushiro sighed. Sometimes he couldn't help but find this group idiotic. They were all strong, but still. You'd think that they'd be able to at least maintain some intelligance. Or some humility. Either would do really. If he heard Ayasegawa talk about his own beauty anymore, he wasn't even sure what was going to happen.

But speaking of beauty. Hitsugaya had to admit, Hinata did look nice in a school uniform. Toushiro wanted to smack himself just a little bit for that thought simply because it was perverted. He always thought it was unintelligent and trashy to fawn over women simply because they decided to show more skin, and had always looked down upon Kyoraku; figurativly at least for flirting so shamelessly. And he'd been gentlemenly about seeing Hinata without her kimono top on. He'd only looked at her face. He hadn't stared at her chest, or her exposed middrift. He'd even bandaged her wound, which proved that he was able to function despite her being... well... topless which; for the record had required a great deal of control on his part.

So why in the hell could he not look her in the eye now? It didn't make sense! And it didn't help that some human had just tried to hit on her and Matsumoto simotaniously. This of course resulted in him being sprawled out in the hallway, and Hinata looking redder then a tomato, as she helped the brown haired boy up. Matsumoto scolds her for it, and the expression on her face is... for lack of better words, cute.

Toushiro shook his head a tiny bit. Wondering exactly what had been wrong with him as of late Cute? That was on his list of words to never ever use under any sort of circumstance. Of course, Hinata had always been on his mind ever since the day that he met her. But as of late, it'd been even worse. It was starting to interfere with his normal thought process, which wasn't good in the slightest. He couldn't afford to be distracted. Not even by Hinata. He was in this town on a mission, and his duty to his squad and to the soul society had to come before his feelings. Right? Toushiro shook his head again. There wasn't any need to think about such stupid things. Duty and honor went far before his personal life. That was what he had decided when he became a shinigami, and that was how it was going to stay.

Which wasn't to say that Toushiro didn't enjoy Hinata's company. He did value her on a personal level. It was just that lately... Lately it'd been more using her to block out the terrible images of Hinamori's bleeding corpse then to spend time with her. If she knew just how much his view of her had changed within the last couple of weeks... Toushiro wasn't sure if he really wanted to know what she would think. Toushiro sighed again, and decided to simply wait out the boring school day, and it's boring teachers until lunchtime so that he could go to the roof and simply stay there and cut the rest of the god forsaken classes on his schedual. He already knew algebra, and he sure as hell wasn't going to listen to some human not even half his age talk down to him about it.

**Hinata's point of view**

"Toushiro?" Hinata stated softly, sitting down next to the school uniform clad shinigami. Toushiro just nodded to her, a sullen and cold expression on his face. Hinata felt her expression fall. She'd noticed the change in his general demenor. When he was with her before, he was generally sweet and a little cool in demenor, when and if he ever snapped at her he apologized quickly, and kissed her softly.

Now things were different. So very very different. Since he had come back from squad four after... the incident. With Aizen, he'd been quiet most of the time. The quietness wasn't what worried Hinata though. What worried Hinata was the anger. She could see it boiling under his skin and slithering beneath his eyes, waiting to burst out. And lord knows that Toushiro wouldn't be fighting Aizen before it boiled over. Hinata knew deep within her that she would be on the recieving end of that poisonous rage. She knew it, and was bracing herself for it, rehersing apologies, rehersing reassuances, trying to find the right words to divert him with.

It was begining to come through the rough kissing and distant silences. He didn't hold her close much anymore, and when he did his grip was enough to bruise her. That was why she was wearing an open sweatshirt over her uniform shirt instead of the school's yellow sweater. Toushiro had dismissed it as nostalgia, but Matsumoto had noticed the real reason. She decided not to ask who the culprit was when she saw the fear in Hinata's eyes, but she gave the young shinigami a sound talking to, as well as the sweater to hide the bruises on her arms. Hinata didn't want Toushiro knowing that he had hurt her, even if it was unintentional. She couldn't lie to him for emotional reasons, and the fact that the bruises were hand shaped. That couldn't be explained by training.

"Oh. Hey" Toushiro responded about a minute later, his voice far away. Hinata swallowed as Toushiro tapped away on his phone. Hinata attempted to put on a smile as he snapped the gadget closed and looked towards her.

"Something wrong?" His voice was still disinterested, but Hinata still smiled a tiny bit at the words that held a visage of concern.

"No. I just... I just wanted to see you" she sat down next to him, staring off into the clouds, waiting for him to say something.

"Hinata... Why are you wearing a sweater? Aren't you warm?" Hinata blushed and pulled said sweater closer.

"N-no... I'm fine" Hinata averted her eyes, Toushiro glared, causing her to shrink into herself.

"Don't lie to me" He said coldly. Hinata drew her arms closer to her, but it was too late. He'd already grabbed her hand and pulled up her sleeve, revealing the yellow edged bruise that sat there. Hinata shook a little bit, trying her best not to look into his eyes.

"who?" It was more a statement then a question, but the razor sharp edge it carried was unmistakable. Hinat shivered and shook her head, fear building umistakeably in her chest.

"Answer me. Who?" Hinata shook her head again. His grip tightened, and Hinata whimpered at the pain.

"St-stop it! Y-You're hurting me again!" Hinata ripped his hands away, a fearful sort of dominance raging through her veins. Toushiro's eyes widened.

"Hinata... You just said again..."

"Did... I do that to you?" Toushiro asked gingerly, cautiously laying his hand over her bruise. Hinata let out a long breath that she hadn't realized that she was holding. It wasn't useful to lie to him.

Hinata could see his adam's apple moving subtly under this throat as he swallowed. Hinata pulled down her sleeve, and cover his tanned shaking hands with her steadier pale ones.

"It was an accident Toushiro. I know you didn't mean to" She stated softly, lifting one hand to stroak his silver hair. Toushiro shook his head.

"I'm sorry" he stated quietly. Hinata blinked; he was thinking about something else again. Or perhaps it was _someone _else. Her jaw tightened at the mere thought.

"There's nothing to be sorry for" Hinata said, folding Toushiro into her arms. But he wanted nothing to do with it, and pulled away from her. An unexpected jolt ran through Hinata.

"I love you" He said, placing a quick, rough kiss on her lips.

Oh how those words killed her inside. Something felt so false within her. Those words that had once brought her so much joy seemed like nothing but a pipe dream now.

Even when she had been feeling her worst she'd never been rough with him. She'd never withdrawn from him like that. If the world was as she thought, a life for a life, then shouldn't he at least try to let her in just like she had let him in? But that wasn't fair to Toushiro. He was a different person then she was. He'd only had a couple of close friends after over a century of existance, and currently one of them was in a coma. Of course he wasn't going to be up to opening up to her.

She decided that she would just have to give him time. She beleived that with fragile faith, because she knew that if she didn't she'd surely surrender to the doubts in her mind, and if she did that... Well if she did that she wasn't even sure what could happen to her.

_I sincerly hope that wasn't as much of a disapointment as I thought it was... Argh... this chapters such a fucktard. Honestly, I don't even get why anyone is paying attention to this thing anymore. I barely ever update, and when I do, it's a little fucktard chapter like this one. I'm really sorry that I'm such a terrible authoress. *sighs* I'm much more active on deviantart... Here's the link to my profile http:/tako-hasu-hinata(dot)deviantart(dot)com/ once again, just replace the word (dot) with a real period. . On there you won't find any Change Came But I had To Die First, but you will find all sorts of one-shots that I haven't gotten up on ____ yet. _


	38. I'm sorry

_**Hello everyone.**_

_**Some (sorta) sad news. I know I said that I would finish this story, but I honestly don't think I'll be able to. First off, the beginning of this is absolutely horrible. I started this story when i was in the seventh grade, and it really shows. This story does mean a lot to me, and a lot of the advice that was given to me from reviewers got me through a really tough time in my life, where a lot of people abandoned my sorry ass. **_

_**So... Thank you. You guys rock my socks.**_

_**However. As I said before, I'm not continuing this. Frankly, I've fallen off the bandwagon for both Naruto and Bleach, and I don't know, or care how this story is going to end. If it was just a couple more chapters I might've tried to finish, but this isn't even past half way done, and I don't want to rush the ending either, because that's rude to you guys, who have stuck by me in all my stupidity. **_

_**And since you guys are really awesome, and deserve someone who actually cares about this story, I'm putting this story up for adoption. If you are interested, please PM me. **_


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